By Monday night, he was doing well enough for the nurses to wean him off the ventilator. It wasn’t more than ten minutes before he started asking for Pam.
Hoarse from the endotracheal tube, Jane had to lean in to hear what he was saying. “Where am I?” he asked, looking around the room.
“At County Hospital in Delaware,” Jane answered. “You’re in the ICU.”
“Why am I here?” he whispered. Jane took his hand and squeezed it.
“You were in a boating accident,” she said softly, worried he’d ask for details, but he seemed too confused by the idea of it to want much detail.
“How long have I been in here?” Here looked around the strangeness with the beeping machinery and uncurtained windows to the hallway.
“Three days, Dad. The accident happened on Saturday and today is Monday.”
“Why isn’t Pam here?” he asked, straining to look around the room.
Jane patted his hand apologetically. “Dad, Pam knows, but she hasn’t come down from Long Island.” He lay back, his chin trembling, tears overflowing his eyes.
“I can’t believe she hasn’t been here,” he cried out. “My fiancée!” Jane felt out of her comfort zone. They’d decided not to mention Aaron right away, or Jeff. But his short-term memory was gone and he didn’t realize he’d stood Pam up at the altar.
“Dad, it’s not good for you to get so upset,” she said gently.
“Upset isn’t the word for it. If the tables were turned, I’d have been at her bedside in a flash.” Jane decided she needed back up, so excused herself and went out to find his nurse.
“Keep making excuses,” the nurse said when Jane explained the problem. “I’ll get in touch with his doctor and see what he wants to do. Your father doesn’t seem rational to me; I’m not sure what he’s usually like.”
“Not like this, that’s for sure,” Jane said.
“Well then, let’s allow him a few more hours to pull it together. I can give him a little something in his IV that will calm him down and make him feel better. I’ll be right in.” Jane went back to Jason’s room, wishing her mother were still alive. Being Jason’s only support person was too much for her. Two living siblings had already made the trip once for the wedding that never was. Her brother Bill from Alaska was due in that night, her sister Louise was nine months pregnant, living in Florida and she wasn’t going anywhere now. It looked like everything was going to fall on Jane and Bill.
The nurse was back in minutes with another drug to push in his IV. “I don’t want any pain medication,” he whined.
“This isn’t for pain, Mr. Bridges. It’s a little something to help you get through this rough patch.”
“The only rough patch I’m having is that ingrate of a girlfriend doesn’t care when I’m in the ICU, almost dead.” The nurse looked at her with wide eyes and Jane shrugged her shoulders.
“He wanted to know. What was I supposed to do?”
“You’re doing fine, Mr. Bridges,” she said. “Your doctor is already talking about moving you to a regular floor.”
“Oh please, don’t do that,” he cried. “I want to stay in a private room. I can’t get out of bed yet. I need you to take care of me.”
“No worries,” she said calmly. “You’ll be with us a few more days. The stronger you get, the sooner you’ll get to go home.” She looked over at Jane and pursed her lips. “That medication should kick in any second.” Jason closed his eyes again. Praying he was going to nap, Jane sat back, ready for a break, closing her eyes, too. But his head snapped forward again.
“Call her for me,” he said. Opening her eyes, Jane frowned at her father.
“Dad, what are you talking about?”
“Call Pam. She should be here. I want her to know how disappointed I am that she isn’t here.”
“Dad, forget it, please? You can deal with Pam later.”
“Give me a phone then and I’ll call myself.” Jane didn’t want to be the one to remind him of what he did, but the alternative was letting him call her and make a fool of himself. She looked carefully at him. Maybe he was losing his mind before the wedding, too.
“Dad, you didn’t get married.”
“I know I didn’t, we’re supposed to get married Saturday.”
“No, you were supposed to get married a week ago last Saturday. You didn’t go through with it.” Jason stared at her, uncomprehending.
“Why didn’t we go through with it? We paid thousands of dollars for the reception.
Tens
of thousands.”
“You decided Friday night you didn’t want to go through with it. Pam knew nothing about it. Uncle Jeff….uncle Jeff told me it was a tragedy; Pam showed up in her beaded dress and there was no groom. She had to walk down the aisle alone to address the congregation.” Jason’s expression didn’t change. He looked up at the ceiling and then back down at Jane.
“I think I remember. How could I have done such a thing?”
“You can understand then why Pam isn’t here. You shouldn’t call her, either. Let her get over the humiliation.” His head in his hands, Jason started to cry again.
“I wasn’t in my right mind. I’m not in it now.”
“Dad, just relax, will you, please? I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” Jane pleaded.
“Why are you here alone?” he asked. “Where are Aaron and Bill? Or Jeff?”
“They have a life, Dad,” she answered. “They were here when it first happened and when it was apparent you were going to live people had to get back to work.” It was almost the truth. “You were out of it until last night, don’t forget. Two days is a long time.” That seemed to calm him and he lay down again and closed his eyes. It was going to be a long road to recovery.
***
Natalie packed an overnight bag to take to Jeff’s beach house. She had no idea how long Ted would want her to stay. It turned out Ted had a license after all and could at least get the car started. Zach went through all the bells and whistles and afterward they decided they’d leave the radio off and as long as the car moved forward and backward, they’d be okay. “Just take your time, Pop. I can always take you this evening if you can wait,” he offered.
“No, but thank you Zach. I’m anxious to get home.” He started the car and slowly inched it forward. Traffic wasn’t bad going toward Babylon and once they got out of the city, it was smooth sailing.
Pam was waiting for Lisa and the children when the Bentley turned the corner and slowly made its way down the street. Natalie saw Pam waving from the kitchen window and honked the horn. “I am not holding my breath, but I hope the house is yours,” Natalie said. Ted pushed the garage door opener and the door slowly rose.
“It’s not. I’m sure it’s going to go to his kids. Don’t get all bummed out now.”
“I’m not, but it would be nice.”
“It’ll take a while to sort it all out. I hope he has trusts like Ashton had. It would be weird if an estate attorney didn’t think of trusts.” He lowered the garage door and shut the car off. “Why am I dreading going inside?”
“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” Natalie said.
“It’s Ashton all over again, only I know his body won’t be sitting at the kitchen table.” Natalie grabbed his hand.
“How awful for you,” she said sadly. “You’ve been through so much.”
“Let’s get it over with,” he said. “I’m ready to move on already. If the house isn’t mine, I want to get my stuff out of it and get back to the city as soon as possible.”
He put the key in the door and a whoosh of cold air shot out at them. “I’m glad we left the air conditioning on. It feels like it’s been longer than four days since we left. I still can’t believe it.” Natalie felt like an actress on stage. The house was surreal, the quintessential Long Island beach house photographed many times by for decorating and architectural magazines, pristine and lovely, but like a museum, uninviting and uncomfortable.
“Where can you sit in this place and not worry about staining the white slipcovers?” she asked.
“Yeah, I had to be careful not to fart in here,” Ted said, looking around. “If I did keep it, we’d have to do something drastic about this furniture.”
“How about just use it?” Natalie said. He nodded his head.
“Let’s settle in for the day. I’ll start looking through his desk if you want to make yourself at home. We’ll soon know if I have to clear out or not.”
“I’ll see what food you have. It’s almost lunchtime.”
While Natalie looked through the kitchen for lunch items, Pam was greeting her daughter and the children. Daniela helped the girls and Pam got Marcus from his seat, while Lisa got little Dan Junior. “These two look so much alike,” Pam said, kissing Marcus.
“Definitely Dan’s kids,” Lisa said drolly.
“And little Miranda,” Pam said, kissing her. “You are getting to be a big girl! Megan, too.”
“Who are you meeting?” Pam asked, interested.
“Mother, you won’t be happy so better not to ask.”
“Now you have to tell me,” Pam said, grabbing her arm.
“I have to have your confidence.” Pausing, Pam looked at the baby.
“Not….”
“Yes.”
“Lisa, you are asking for trouble. I wish I could impart my wisdom without coming off like a complete loser, but you have to trust me. Don’t do it.”
“Mom, I ran into her at the grocery store. We hit it off, just like we did the first time.”
“And look what that got you,” Pam said, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice. “Nothing good can come of this. It just makes me sick to think what you are setting yourself up for.”
“Because of you and Daddy?”
“Yes, because of that. I am very concerned for you, you are so much like me and I see you doing the same things I did. You deserve better.”
“Well, it’s too late because here she comes. Remember, she hasn’t seen the baby so this might be dramatic.”
“What if this is construed as her breaking parole, too? You could be implicated.”
“
Mother
…..Hi, Cara, welcome to the Fountains of Versailles!” Pam gave Lisa a dirty look but smiled at Cara as she walked slowly to the baby and then burst into tears.
There on the sidewalk with the fountain making an unbelievable ruckus splashing and the tide coming in on the other side of the house, the mother met her baby for the first time since his birth. Pam ushered the women and children inside to get the scene off the street; a lot of crying and hugging and emotion almost too much to bear.
Once they were inside on the veranda, away from the workmen, Pam excused herself. “I need to go say hello to my friend, so you all enjoy the beach.
Pam walked over the dune to Jeff’s house and knocked on the glass sliders. Natalie heard her and came out of the kitchen, eating a croissant. “You’re just in time for lunch,” Natalie said, hugging her with a free arm. “These are a tad stale, but I think they’ll be okay if I zap them in the microwave.”
“How’s he doing?” Pam whispered.
“Really pretty good, all things considered. He said it was Ashton all over again when we pulled into the garage, so I think he dreaded coming inside. But he’s okay now, back in Jeff’s office, looking for wills and deeds and all that stuff.”
“You’ll never guess who’s at my house,” Pam said, telling Natalie the whole story while she made their lunch.
“She takes after you,” Natalie said after Pam finished relating the situation. “Lisa has a big heart. You can’t fault her for it because she probably can’t help it.”
They looked up as Ted entered the living room. “Pam, how are?” he said, embracing her.
“I’m so sorry, Ted. Jeff was my dearest friend. I can’t believe it happened.” They shared a few minutes of condolences and then Natalie announced lunch was ready.
“It’s very emotional for me to sit with the two people who were present when I met Jeff. You are both very important to me. I remember we buried Jack together here on the beach that day. His ashes went all over the place! It was quite disturbing.
“Pam, I’m sorry Jeff betrayed you. He was giddy and immature that night; I remember it. We’d been drinking wine, and he just started to talk. He meant well. I know that seems impossible, but he really was trying to define how fabulous you are, how big you are. Not that Jason needed convincing, but Jeff was just worried Jason was being…what’s the word… shallow. Well, we know he’s shallow, don’t we?” The women laughed and Pam grabbed his hand.
“I’d forgiven Jeff,” she said. “Our relationship had changed because we were both involved with other people. Yours was genuine, and I don’t know what the hell mine was. I was marrying my antiquing buddy.
“Anyway, I’m sorry about his accident, too.”
“Yes, we’ll have two funerals to go to,” Ted replied. “I hope I survive.”
The women patted his hand and Pam remembered the year before, her son-in-law’s funeral followed by Brent’s. If she could survive that, she could survive anything. She’d said the same thing so many times, and the circumstances just kept getting worse. Not much more could happen that would be worse. She could think of things that would be tragic, awful,
but not worse
. Pam sighed, and they looked at her.
“Are you okay, honey?” Natalie asked gently.
“Yes, I’m okay,” Pam said. “Just thinking about the other funerals I’ve been to lately. They keep coming in twos.”
“Boy, that’s the truth,” Ted said. “I don’t want to go through this a third time.” It was Pam’s turn to comfort Ted and doing so took her mind off the psychic pain she was in. Like a roller coaster, it built up and got worse and worse and then it would settle down for a short time; meeting John had done that for her. But the pain was back with Jeff’s death sitting here with people important to him.
While Pam lunched with Ted and Natalie, Lisa and Daniela dragged umbrellas and lounge chairs and playpens out of the shed at the back of Pam’s house and Cara bounced her baby son on her hip.
“This is so fabulous,” Cara raved. “I feel privileged and lucky and all the adjectives rolled into one. Thank you, Lisa, thank you again and again.”
“Look, Cara, my mother brought something up that frightened me but I want to throw it out there so we can be extra careful. She’s worried this might be breaking parole. We need to stay under the radar. I’m glad you parked down the street! Next time you need to pull into the garage.” They set up camp, coolers dragged out from the car and a large basket of toys for the children and the day began beautifully.