Soulmates Dissipate (27 page)

At the end of each element you will find a
reflective moment
that relates to my novel
Soulmates Dissipate.
The main characters in
Soulmates Dissipate,
Jada Diamond Tanner, Wellington Jones, and Melanie Marie Thompson, exemplify real life situations in an unexpected twisted taste of fiction and faith that may help you to better understand why
The Art of Finding Your Soulmate
is intangible. Your soulmate holds the ultimate key to your highest level of spiritual relationship awareness. Remember, love is never what you want.
Love,
is what
you
make it.

I
n this world, we are surrounded by deception. The words
I love you,
often rolls off the tongue for inappropriate reasons. Lust. Greed. Security. Fear. Sometimes the deceit is so deeply rooted you begin to believe what’s wrong, is right. Whenever you find yourself justifying your actions based upon those of another, stop. Be true to yourself.

Don’t tell your mate what you think he/she wants to hear. Remember, the first person you lie to is yourself. You sacrifice
your
spirit. If you are in love, accept it. If you’re not, acknowledge your feelings. That doesn’t suggest you need to dissolve your union. People fall in
and
out of love all the time. However, it does mean you can grow with honesty as a basis for a lifelong friendship whether the two of you stay together, or part. If you haven’t found your soulmate, you won’t if you’re preoccupied exhausting your spiritual energy in an unful-filling relationship.

If you’re not in a relationship, take a moment and ask yourself why. Whatever the basis, do not say there’s a shortage of men. What really exists are too many women with excessive limitations and a profusion of men who are reluctant to make a commitment. So what’s the real deal? Are you too busy for love? Perhaps you’re waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right? Or have you lost faith in finding your soulmate? Think about your reasons as you continue to read. Now let’s look at some of the reasons why soulmates dissipate. It’s equally important to learn how to maintain a relationship with your soulmate.

One of the most common examples of treachery is when you think, say, or feel
two can play that game.
When you discover your lover, husband, wife, or soulmate has been unfaithful, you feel betrayed. Used. Abused. Hurt. Angry. Vindictive. Here’s a word of advice. Get off of the roller coaster. It will immediately kill your spirit and eventually you’ll become resentful. Your misdirected anger can unconsciously manifest into revenge. You engage in emotional warfare with your mate and a physical affair with an innocent party as a desperate attempt to gain attention and inflict pain. You’ll probably succeed, but the blameless victim becomes bitter and the vicious cycle never ends. Give up the dreadful thrills. Don’t keep taking the same ride. You’ve already seen the view. Search your soul and do what’s healthiest for
you.

If you want to date outside your relationship, say so. You’ll be consciously free to live your life and the other person can make an informed decision to do the same or call it quits. This doesn’t mean your life has to be an open book and you must divulge
every single thought. You must learn to be true to yourself. Your spirit must be free before you can find your soulmate. In reality, you may already be with your soulmate and not know it. If you’re not in tune with your spirit, you won’t be receptive to his/her spiritual energy.

Here is a simple test on how you can feel your spirit die when you lie to yourself.

STEP 1: Take a deep breath. Think about your soulmate or someone you’re in love with.

STEP 2: Allow yourself to remember all the good times you’ve shared together.

STEP 3: Now, take another deep breath.
Silently
tell yourself
… I truly love …
use the person’s name.
Feel the love?

STEP 4: Keep thinking about that person.

STEP 5: Inhale. Exhale. Silently tell yourself… 7
donotlove…
use the same person’s name.
Do you feel the difference?

You kill a piece of your spirit each time you lie to yourself. Positive energy lifts your spirit up and you actually feel the movement inside your body. Negative energy does the exact opposite. If you didn’t notice it the first time, it may help if you close your eyes and focus from within. It is important that you understand your spirit.

“A
re you the type of man who will commit to one woman? And before you answer, let me say fidelity is extremely important to me.”

At least this was an easy question.” Well, I had a wife once but her husband came and got her.” Wellington slapped his leg and nudged Jada’s shoulder. She laughed too.” I’m happy you have a sense of humor. You just passed your first test.”

“What do you mean?” Jada inquired.

“If you had taken me serious, I would have known you weren’t comfortable with the subject even though you asked the question. Therefore, I wouldn’t have discussed any of my personal relationships with you. It’s a major turnoff when women get defensive about my past experiences. I’m not perfect, and I don’t try to be.” Wellington glanced down at Jada’s thighs. The front flap of her skirt had formed into a V at her crotch.

W
here is your universal energy source? God? Ocean? Moon? Stars? Flowers? Sun? Birds? Trees? Air? Rain? There is no limit on the number of connections you may have. You should not ostracize other forms of spiritual existence. Take time to discover where your connections are. Then embrace them. They are powerful energizers when you need or want spiritual uplifting and they’re essential if you strive to reach
cosmic ecstasy.
Some people love water. It can be the ocean, the sea, a stream, or a river. It doesn’t matter. The connectedness fuels their spiritual energy.

Just as humans cannot exist without oxygen and trees cannot survive without carbon dioxide; if you are not in tune with your spiritual synergy, you are not complete. It’s like being alive on life support.
You should start seeking your natural companions today.

As you journey to smell the roses, remember everyone does not connect everywhere. For example, you may discover that you enjoy still water, but you do not like the rain. You may bond with both, but fear thunder and lightning. That’s okay. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. It’s like love and hate. Both are very real and both have varying degrees. Positive and negative energy balances us within the universe.

Understand that everyone creates and hold good and bad spiritual energy—sometimes called vibes. You cannot avoid being affected by a person sending you despondent messages if you’re listening to him/her. Fortunately, you can detach yourself from most of it by telling the person you’re not interested in hearing their redundant complaints … especially if they haven’t sought a solution to
their
problem. It’s okay to let others lean on your shoulder. Just don’t allow them to leech.

Habits are difficult to break. Know that the human brain is a conditioning tool. You can do whatever you want! If you are a pessimistic person, try being optimistic. Improve your way of thinking about others and yourself and you will open doors that will allow you to tap into your universal sources. Take time and notice all of the external energy forces surrounding you.

W
ellington unwrapped the back of Jada’s scarf. “What are you—?”

“Ssssshhh. Don’t speak. Just listen and bond spiritually with the sounds of the ocean, and the setting of the sun. Soon will come the full moon and the twinkling of the stars.” Wellington turned the volume low and popped in a CD with all the songs played from the night they met.” This is the ideal time to be on the beach. Within a few hours, we’ll experience it all.”

Jada turned her head to the side and closed her eyes. Wellington pulled out the oil and began to massage her back. Deep, strong strokes glided along her soft skin….

D
o you suppress your spiritual energy? Before you answer, think for a moment. Do you hold in your feelings? Do you say yes, when you really want to say no? Do you try not to hurt people’s feelings? Do you pretend to like or love someone when you actually don’t? Do you find yourself taking relationship advice from your friends who haven’t had a relationship in so long even they can’t remember?

The list of questions goes on, but these are just a few examples of how you suppress your divine energy. Remember, each time you prevaricate you are restricting your spiritual growth.

A relationship is an investment of your time, energy, and money. You’ll spend hours, days, weeks, or even months bargaining for the automobile of
your dream. You’ll shop online, test drive the car over and over, even haggle over the price repeatedly. But when it comes to your relationship, you have no time, very little patience, and seldom will you spend your money. It’s still true. The best things in life are free. Unfortunately, even those items seem to cost you too much time.

Sure you used to go out to dinner, in the beginning. And perhaps you now buy a gift or two throughout the year. But how often do you give or get a massage from your significant one? How often do you spontaneously exert effort into doing something nice? When was the last time you sent flowers? Ladies, that applies to you as well. Most men do like roses.

Now, the moment something goes wrong, you have all day and night to nitpick. When you’re not complaining to the other person, you’re driving yourself insane thinking about the situation continuously.

When your girlfriend or guy friend calls, you have all the time in the world to listen. You even change the tone in your voice. Smile. Laugh. Whatever the emotional bond calls for, you are ready, willing, and able to support the cause. But as soon as you hang up the phone, the negative thoughts about your spouse resurface.

Most people don’t marry, many more may never meet, and some don’t even realize they’re with their soulmate. Unconstructive energy can ultimately destroy a relationship. Stop suppressing your spiritual energy. Learn to let go of the things that destroy your positive energy. Only then will you be free.

One last comment, all men are not dogs. In fact,
most of them aren’t. And, all women do not grow up and become sugar and spice and everything nice. Excessive pessimism is mental conditioning. It’s one of the worst forms of abuse. Enhance your outlook on life. If you don’t, at some point your relationship will explode. Remember, negative energy drains your spirit.

“A
fter I leave tonight,” she said in a quiet voice, “I want you to spend at least thirty minutes praying and thirty minutes meditating.” Jazzmyne’s voice had a calming effect on Jada. Her body began to relax.

“Now I have to be honest with you, Jada. I’ve been a counselor for almost ten years…. So I can tell, you’ve intentionally left out some very important information. Jada, you have to trust me. I’m only here to help you. Not to hurt you. But I can’t if you won’t tell me the real reason why your relationship with Wellington failed.”

Damn, was Jada talking with a psychic or a counselor? But at this point, the table had turned. Jada decided to tell Jazzmyne everything.

“We all sin, Jada. You’re not infallible. And there’s no measuring scale in heaven that says your sins will be weighed heavier than the sins of others.
You’re a Christian woman. Therefore, you already know that God has forgiven you….

“You also have to accept responsibility for your actions,” she said. “You must stop blaming Melanie for what she has done as a means to justify what you have done. You must forgive yourself and as difficult as it may be—as a Christian—you must forgive Melanie….”

H
ave you ever met someone who has a nice personality? They’re attractive. You engage in conversation. You’re peripheral vision scans the person from head to toe. Nice body. Your mind wanders. They are talking, but you are thinking …
Damn! He/she sure looks good.
You use your body language to disguise your thoughts and pretend to be interested in what is being said. Or the exact opposite could have been the case, so you say to yourself …
this person has bad breath. Where are my friends? It’s definitely time to go.
Did you stop and think perhaps the individual had food with garlic for lunch or dinner? He/she had every intention of eating a mint, but didn’t have one and did not have time to get it before he/she met you.

Irrespective of the reason (s), far too often you
do not
listen
to the other person. Likewise, they too fail to receive your message (s). Society has already dictated what type of man or woman you should marry. Basically, one who can fulfill
your
needs. Your family and friends have imposed their opinions, as well. So now you’re looking for love in all the wrong places and wondering why you haven’t met your soulmate. Work on enhancing your self-sufficiency and self-actualization. That’s what builds self-esteem and healthy relationships because you no longer depend on society to validate your relationship choices. Look at the other person and see what you hear. Observe their body language. Then, search within yourself and hear what you are seeing. Don’t judge. Listen to your spirit.