Sound of Heartache ("Sound of" Book 2) (17 page)

“
Just let me look at you for a sec,” he breathed. Brenna’s hold loosened and she pulled back enough for him to study her face. He saw so much of himself there, but Aimee was undeniably there too. Brenna’s eyes were bright with tears. Her very, very green eyes. “Oh sweetheart.” Brent pulled her back into his arms and wrapped her up tight.

“
Mom always said I look like you. I’ve seen so many pictures. I wasn’t sure but now I am.” Brenna’s sounded enthusiastic despite the tears he could still feel wetting his neck. “I just can’t believe you’re here!”

“
I would’ve been here sooner if I’d known, Brenna.” Brent wanted her to understand he hadn’t abandoned her. Letting her think that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. He didn’t want to blame Aimee for keeping them apart, but he didn’t want to shoulder the responsibility for a situation that wasn’t of his making.

“
She knows it was my choices that kept you in the dark, Brent.” Aimee’s soft voice was a shock. He was so wrapped up in Brenna he hadn’t heard her come into the room.

Brent looked over Brenna’s head at Aimee. She was dressed in holey jeans and a casual white tee. Her hair was pulled back like Brenna’s into a sleek ponytail and her eyes were puffy and red. Still, she looked just like the Aimee from his past and seeing her was jarring.

“
Mom told me it was her fault you weren’t around,” Brenna told him solemnly. Unwrapping herself, she stepped back from his arms but linked their fingers together. “She said she didn’t know how to fix what she’d caused.” Brent looked down into his daughter’s earnest face. Christ, she was so breathtakingly beautiful. And she was his!

“
You weren’t mad at her?” He couldn’t help but ask his girl. He remembered being a pre-teen. He’d been mad at everything then, especially his parents. In his mind at the time, nothing they’d done was right.

“
Sure.” She admitted. “I’ve been mad at her about it plenty of times. It’s the only thing we’ve ever argued about. But I love my mom and I know she was just doing what she thought was best for everyone.”

Brenna’s capacity to understand and simplify such a grownup issue floored Brent. It was obvious Aimee had done a fantastic job raising her. Bitterness swept through him because it should have been the both of them raising this amazing, wonderful girl. She was already halfway grown and he missed out on all of it. He tried to tamp down his feelings so they didn’t spill out and contaminate his and Brenna’s new relationship.

“
I’m trying to understand your mom’s reasons,” Brent told her carefully. “I’m just having a really hard time.” Brenna nodded, a look of understanding on her face.

“
Mama told me not to expect the two of you to magically get back together. She said your lives were really different now and that time changes how people feel. I know what she means but I still think it would be cool if my mom and dad lived together.” Brent coughed. Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

“
I don’t want to disappoint you,” he told Brenna, “but your mom is right. We’re very different people now.” Christ, was this the minefield that divorced parents navigated? Because if it was, it sucked to know you were continually disappointing your kid.

Brenna smiled sweetly at him. “Oh, you’re not,” she reassured him. She tugged on his hand. “C’mon. Mom’s not half decent until she’s had her Starbucks. She can go and I’ll show you the book I made you.” Brenna was bouncing at the end of his arm and he smiled at her antics. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Aimee moved over to stand in front of him and he looked into her soft brown eyes.

“
Do you want anything from Starbucks?” She asked him. Her face held no trace of a smile, but she didn’t look angry. If pressed, he’d say she looked sad and resigned. He glanced over at his daughter who was carefully watching their interaction.

“
Brenna, sweetheart, can you give me and your mom a minute?” He asked. Brenna didn’t need to watch a play-by-play of the ongoing drama between him and Aimee.

“
Sure dad. I’ll be in my room.” Brenna released his hand and skipped down the hallway, her ponytail bouncing and swinging. Her backpack still sat in the middle of the floor where she’d dropped it. Brent looked over at Aimee again.

“
I appreciate you giving me time alone with her,” he told Aimee. “I know you don’t have to, so, thank you.” Aimee nodded and bit her lip. He watched as the mask dropped and she looked miserably sad.

“
You’re her dad. It was never my intent to keep you apart. It just happened.” She cleared her throat and shook her head. “You’re not a bad guy and I’m not going to treat you that way. Of course you can spend time alone with her.” The tip of Aimee’s nose had turned red, a sure sign she was battling tears.

“
Still, Aims. I appreciate it. You could have made this whole thing so much uglier.” Despite his resolve not to touch her, he brushed his open palm down her arm in a gesture meant to comfort. She trembled and looked away.

“
Did you want anything?” She flushed. “From Starbucks, I mean. I’ll be gone about a half an hour.”

“
I’ll never turn down Starbucks. I still like coffee just the same as I did in college.” Brent smiled briefly at the memories. So much of their time studying for biology had been spent at the coffee house near campus. “I even drink the same drink.”

Aimee nodded, clearly needing no clarification as to what he drank. “I’ll see you in a bit, then.” She said softly.

Brent watched as Aimee moved gracefully, grabbing her purse from a trio of fancy hooks that hung on the wall. They were both silent as she left the house through the garage. Intellectually he knew she was coming back but watching her walk away made him feel like an elephant had kicked him in the chest. The last time she’d walked away had resulted in his worst nightmare.

Shaking off the depressing thoughts, he pulled open his phone. He wanted to tell someone about the night he’d just had and Eric was the best person to unload on. He never judged and put everyone’s best interests first. He tapped out a quick text.

“
Dude, just met Brenna. She is AWESOME. Things not so great with Aims.”
Not great was the understatement of the century. Strained, tense, maddening. Those were all better words to describe how things were. Brent’s phone dinged almost immediately, surprising him. He hadn’t thought Eric would respond so quickly because of the early hour.

“
Happy for u my friend. U deserve it. Give Aims a break. We all make mistakes.”
Brent snorted and rolled his eyes. Of course Eric would take up for Aimee. It was his nature to fight for the underdog.

“
Going to spend the day with them. Will take pics so u can see. I’ll try to go easy.”

“
U better. It’ll lead to good things. See u when u get back.”
Brent smiled and pocketed his phone. He took a breath, shored up his courage, and walked down the hall to Brenna’s room. When he poked his head in the open door, she was sitting on the floor with a giant scrapbook in her hands. Her phone was in her hand and she was tapping away one-handedly.

“
Hey sweetheart,” he said, and then hoped she was okay with the endearment. It felt natural to him. Brenna smiled up at him and patted the floor next to her.

“
You’re not too old to sit on the floor, right?” She asked cheekily. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“
I’m less than two years older than your mom!” He protested. Brenna laughed too.

“
Ancient, then!” She teased. Brent rolled his eyes and sat down on the carpet next to his girl. He could see her fingers trembling as she held the book and knew she was making a huge effort to stay calm and contain her emotions. It was hard for him and he imagined it took a herculean effort for a 9 year old to do it.

“
What do you have there?” He asked gently. Brenna’s chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath. He cautiously reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She relaxed into him immediately and he smiled, pleased that she was so affectionate.

“
My mom helped me make a book of my life. It’s for you because mom said you would want to see it once we met. It has everything in here.” Brenna smoothed her hand down the cover of the book and Brent’s heart stuttered. He didn’t know if looking at the book with her would be a good thing or not. It would be putting every last thing he’d missed front and center. Understanding the enormity of what he’d lost out on might make him even angrier at Aimee.

“
That’s a lot, then,” he murmured, stalling.

Brenna nodded. “Every time something big happens, I add to it. Like, this last school year I was in a huge dance competition so I added pictures from that. Mom also adds stuff she thinks is important, like my awards ceremonies.” Brent felt absurdly proud that his daughter was so accomplished.

“
You dance?” He asked her; curious to learn what sparked her passion.

“
I love it. Mom says I’m creative like you.” He and Brenna smiled goofily. He cleared his throat, determined to get through this in a manly, non-crying kind of way.

“
So you and your mom both work on the book?” He asked. He was surprised to hear Aimee worked on it too. Hell, he was surprised that Aimee played him up to Brenna by telling her their similarities. He wouldn’t have guessed she would do that for him.

“
We do. Mom said she wanted you to know all about me. And there’s been so much stuff that if we didn’t make a book I know I’d leave something out.” Brent’s eyes were watering. He couldn’t help himself and was about to give away his man-card voluntarily. His daughter was amazing and she had a thoughtful, loving mom. He pulled Brenna closer and she lay the book on top of each of their thighs so it was split down the middle.

“
What’re you waiting for?” Brent took a deep breath, man-card in hand and tears at the ready. “Show me all about you.”

CHAPTER NINE

Aimee knew it made her a complete chicken, but she wanted to stay out of the house while Brenna and Brent took a walk down memory lane. She didn’t want to see Brent’s eyes accusing her of all the things he’d missed. She didn’t want to see Brenna’s eyes darken with disappointment that her mom hadn’t been strong enough to enter back into Brent’s life. Most of all, she didn’t want to see the two people she loved most in the world judge her and find her lacking.

Instead of hitting the Starbucks drive through like she normally did, she opted to park and go inside. She loved the location nearest to her house because it still had a couple of comfy lounge chairs to sit and read in. The Starbucks close to her work had tables and chairs that provided good surfaces to do work on but didn’t invite someone to sit and stay awhile in comfort. And right now, Aimee definitely needed comfort. She felt out of her depth and adrift from the normal course of her life.

The way she felt right now made her sick to her stomach because it reminded her too much of those first few months on her own with Brenna. She had been terrified, alone, and exhausted. Although she was a relatively smart girl, she’d never really lived on her own and had never had another human being relying completely on her for their very existence. So many nights during Brenna’s first year had brought panic and tears, leading Aimee to question whether she had done the right thing for Brenna by keeping her.

Aimee hated remembering that time. She had never shared with Brenna the confusion and desperation she had felt that first year and she never would. Brenna didn’t need to know how hard things had been for her mom. Finishing her drink, which included four shots of espresso instead of her normal two, she got back in line and ordered Brenna and Brent’s drinks.

Glancing at the simple silver and black watch at her wrist, she realized almost thirty minutes had passed. Seeing Brent in the flesh was heart-stoppingly amazing but it was agonizing too. His eyes weren’t the same as she remembered. They were wary and cautious now where they used to be warm and open.

Aimee considered her options. She knew Brent was terribly angry with her. Possibly the kind of angry a person wouldn’t ever be able to get over. She had never let herself consider anything other than a happy ending for them. The thought of spending the rest of her life with Brent’s disapproval hurt beyond belief. Unfortunately she couldn’t change the past, no matter how much she wished she could. She kept returning to the fact that she was going to have to give up on her dreams of reconciling with Brent and just let his relationship with Brenna develop naturally. The happy ever after that Aimee wanted to experience with Brent wasn’t going to happen. Logically she knew this. Unfortunately, her heart hadn’t yet gotten the memo.

After picking up Brent and Brenna’s drinks from the bar, she drove home slowly. Aimee hated the thought of splitting Brenna’s time with Brent but she didn’t see any other way to be equitable to him. Brenna was going to visit him at his home without her mom. She was going to do things with him, vacation with him, without her mom. Aimee would bear it all with a smile because these things would mean the world to Brenna. And Brenna meant the world to her. Surely it was okay if Aimee felt the slightest bit of envy that Brenna got to spend time with someone as wonderful as Brent.