Sound Proof (Save Me #5) (2 page)

“You know you’re talking too fast,” I say with a smile. “Do you want to try this again?”

She nods, pulling my hand away, and my eyes drop to her mouth. “I asked if Daddy was going to come home and eat supper with us tonight.”

My heart sinks like the Titanic. “Probably not, baby.” I lift my hand and brush the loose blonde hair behind her ear. “Daddy has to work late.”

“Again?” I nod slowly and her face falls.

“Why’s he always gotta work late?” she pouts before getting angry. “He hasn’t been home to read me a bedtime story in like… a bazillion years.”

How do I make this better? How do I not get upset with my husband for working late again when it makes our daughter sad? If it was once in a while it would be one thing, but lately it’s been happening more and more. If it was only affecting me, I don’t think it would hurt this much.

I lift my head and find Willow, my oldest daughter, leaning against the hallway wall. I can tell she knows how upset Sage is and I wouldn’t doubt that she knew what Sage was running out here to ask.

Turning my attention back to Sage, I force a smile and sign while I speak. “How about we go out for dinner and then maybe some ice cream?”

“Ice cream?” Her head perks up and she smiles. Crisis averted. For now, at least.

After getting the girls their ice cream and tossing a load of laundry in the washer, I put the files I was working on away in the office. While Willow gets her lunch ready for tomorrow, I give Sage a bath and put her to bed before wandering back downstairs.

When I hit the kitchen floor the front door opens. Max sets his briefcase down and smiles at me like nothing is wrong. It’s a game we play and it’s getting ridiculous.

Max settles in on the couch with the remote and waits for me to warm his dinner back up. While I wait for the microwave to finish, I give Willow a kiss goodnight.

“Here,” I mutter, pushing the plate toward Max.

His eyes narrow as he sets the remote down. “’What’s wrong now?” he signs.

“This isn’t what I signed on for when we got married.”

He leans forward, setting his plate on the coffee table. Resting his arms against his elbows, he shakes his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“When I said ‘I do’, I didn’t expect to spend my nights figuring out ways to take our daughters mind off the fact that you aren’t here. I didn’t think I would have dinner ready for us to eat as a family at the same time every night just to have to turn around and heat it back up five hours later when you actually got home. I never thought that I would feel like a single mother.”

“You’re not a single mother,” he says, cutting me off. “I’m here every night. I help pay the bills same as you do. I’m sorry that my cases keep me at the office late, but there’s nothing I can do about that!”

“That’s shit, Max, and you know it. If I can do it, you can too. I bring files home so I’m here for Willow and Sage. Do you know what it’s like to have your five year old ask you where her father is every night? Her teachers don’t even know what you look like!”

Max stands up, throwing his arms into the air. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want my husband to be home in time for dinner. I want the father of my daughter to be here before she’s tucked into bed and asleep. I want to feel like you want to be here again!”

“OK.” He nods. “I get it and I’ll try harder. I’m sorry.” Wrapping his arms around me, he tries to settle me down. I know that the only thing he’s doing is trying to placate me because nothing is going to change and I know that.

I don’t even attempt to hug him back because it’ll only make the ache inside me worse. Just having his hands on me right now makes me want to cry but I force the tears back while he’s touching me. When he finally lets go, he drops back onto the couch and grabs his food again.

I shake my head, snap my fingers to tell Duke, our dog, to follow me and make my way up the stairs. After stripping and pulling on a pair of pajamas, I crawl into bed. Duke settles down on the floor beside the bed and I roll toward the middle. The king-sized bed seems huge to me tonight, but I guess since I don’t see anything changing anytime soon, I should get used to it.

Someone bangs against the bus door, but I ignore them. Looking down my body, the eyes that peer up at me under their lashes beg me not to leave. The corner of my mouth tips up as I run my fingers into her hair and force my cock further into her mouth. The girl’s eyes water but she never stops the movement of her fingers as they caress my balls.

Nope, I’m not going anywhere yet. Getting off before getting on stage is a ritual and I don’t plan on stopping it tonight.

The chick’s fingers flex into my thighs, digging her nails in as I pick up the pace. I can feel myself getting close, but I can’t quite seem to get off and I know if I don’t get moving, Abby will be in here soon to chew my ass.

The group before groupies
.

HA! Fuck that, the group doesn’t suck my cock. The group doesn’t bend over and spread their legs if I snap my fingers. Groupies do. Short skirts, tight shirts, and usually no panties, are what these chicks use to get on my bus. Yup, my bus. Just mine.

I love playing, touring, and the people I’m with on a daily basis. Even though I consider everyone I tour with my family, I feel alone a lot more than I should. As great as it is having my own bus so I don’t have to worry about tiny eyes seeing me, it’s starting to get lonely, and that isn’t something I’m used to… or like.

Dropping my head back against the window, I try my hardest to get into the feeling of the hot mouth attached to the even hotter brunette as it slides along the length of my dick. It’s hard, but the second she moans and the vibrations run through my body, all thoughts of this not being what I want anymore disappear and I’m back at the task at hand. Lifting my hips, I thrust up into her mouth while holding her head where I want it until I come.

There are few words spoken other than a thank you from me as I escort her off the bus and quickly clean up. Grabbing a shirt from the pile, I stuff part of it into the back pocket of my jeans as I rush out off the bus. Halfway to the door of the arena, I practically run over Abby.

“You are so fucking lucky I didn’t make it all the way to the buses, AJ,” she huffs. Spinning around in the sky-high heels she has on, she falls into step with me.

“Oh yeah?” I laugh. “Why’s that?”

“She would’ve been bald from me pulling her off your dick, and you would’ve been ball-less for making me come get you. Don’t push your luck though, I’m still debating the second part.”

“Is that jealousy I hear coming from your mouth?” I say, pulling the door open and letting her pass me. “Are you upset that you don’t get a piece of this sexiness?”

Abby shakes her head. “There’s no conceit left in your family, is there?”

I think about what she said for a minute. I know that it’s an insult, but like I always do, I let it roll off my back. We’ve been friends for so long that I know she means nothing by it. In this group, if we aren’t making fun of each other, there is usually something wrong.

Grinning, I shake my head. “Nah. Who needs to be conceited? People tell me every day how sexy I am. There’s no need for me to think it myself.”

She doesn’t have a chance to say anything before we reach the rest of the group. As always, she falls right into Jameson’s arms with a content smile on her face. Jason is wrapped around Vanessa, who is holding their son. That man being in love is something I never thought I would see. Then there’s me. Alone as always because the only time you’ll see me with a woman is if you walk in the bus and she’s either on her knees or naked. Or both.

I’m not bitter about not having what they have, I like my life. How many people can honestly say that they have lived a life like mine? Numerous number one songs, awards, money, spotlight, and any woman I could possibly want. If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing.

But there’s something missing…

I stand in silence as everyone around me yells over the sound of the crowd waiting for us. Vanessa got them amped up, now we’re headed out to finish the night up. It’s how this has worked since we all decided to go back out on the road. With Jason pulling double duty with the bands, I think he’s the most excited that the tour is almost over. The exhaustion is written all over his face.

“A few more shows, you guys,” Jameson yells. “A few more and then we can all get home and get everything back on schedule for the kids.”

I nod my head, not really paying attention to what he’s saying as I pull my shirt over my head. My mind is flooded with the word
home
. While they’re all excited because they can put the kids back on a normal routine that doesn’t involve take-out and tour busses, I’m excited about seeing my family and crawling into my own damn bed.

I stoop down, allowing the guy behind me to run the wires to my gear down the back of my shirt while everyone else gets ready to go on stage. Turning around, Abby glares at me because we’re running behind, but I barely notice her as I grab my sticks. Instead, my eyes fall on the fantastic ass of a blonde about ten feet away. Tight ripped jeans and a tank top are all that stand in the way of getting my hands on her smooth porcelain skin. If I didn’t need to be on stage right now, I’d be pulling her to the nearest storage closet and making her scream my name.

Someone grabs my hand, pulling me toward the stage, but I still can’t take my eyes away from the chick. Walking past, my head swivels to get a glimpse and fuck me if the front view isn’t better. She smiles at me before turning her attention back to the girl next to her.

“Shake it off, asshole!” Jason yells as he pushes me toward my kit. “We’ve got a show to do. You can drool after you drum.”

Pulling myself together, I climb up behind my kit and drop down, instantly hitting the bass pedal to get the crowd going. They scream, filling the arena with the deafening sound, and I love it. As usual, the world around me fades as I fall into the beat. Well, almost everything. I look back to my right and the blonde I was eying before has stepped up to the edge of the stage but has her eyes closed. It doesn’t matter that she isn’t looking at me— I can’t pull my eyes off of her and I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful that I know where my sticks need to hit without looking.

Finally, her eyes open and they catch mine instantly. They stay there just long enough to realize that the feeling inside me, the feeling that something is missing, isn’t going away anytime soon. Something is going to have to change, but I’m sure what that is just yet.

Willow jumps to the beat beside me, her arms flailing as she screams. Izzy jumps beside her, a little less enthusiastic, but she’s around concerts all the time so I don’t expect anything else.

My eyes keep getting drawn back to AJ and I try hard not to laugh. Every time he looks at me, a mixture of confusion and lust fill his eyes. I see this man on a weekly basis, we’ve spoken multiple times, and I’m baffled as to how he has no clue who I am right now.

As the concert winds down I grab Willow’s hand so she doesn’t get lost in the madness as people rush around us. I tug her to the side so we’re out of the way until it’s time to go the green room that I know will be filled with people.

As usual, I’m a bystander, a fly on the wall since most people can’t communicate easily with me. Even though I can command a courtroom, I still feel at odds sometimes when I’m around people in a place I don’t know.

I can’t hear them, just like I couldn’t hear the words to the songs, so all I can do is watch and feel. It’s times like this that I get upset that I got so sick when I was fourteen. Pissed off that I spiked a fever so high that it damaged my eardrums, causing me to go deaf. I thought it was the end of my life, having to pretty much start my life over in the middle of high school.

I was wrong though. It wasn’t the end of my life, it was just the beginning of a different kind of life.

I was good with it for a long time too. I had to learn to adapt, but I did it. I made it through high school, learned to read lips as I went because only a few people in my life knew sign language or were willing to learn. The day I got my acceptance letter to Vanderbilt, I also got a positive result on a pregnancy test. I was always good at tests, but that was one I didn’t want to pass like I did.

I wasn’t letting that stop me, though. If anything, it just pushed me to try harder to make a good life for my daughter, Willow. Liam, Willow’s father, on the other hand, was not so enthusiastic about being a parent back then.

I wasn’t sure I would make it through, but here I am, standing backstage at a Thirty Ought Six and Vanessa Knox concert because it was the only thing Willow wanted for turning fifteen. Being the label’s lawyer, I was able to get backstage passes to surprise her with. Thank God I made it through.

I watch her dance with Izzy as Abby sings her final song and cross my arms over my chest feeling the beat inside me. I feel someone beside me but I don’t turn to see who it is since I wouldn’t be able to see what they’re saying anyway because it’s so dark back here.