Authors: Aimee Friedman
Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Juvenile Fiction, #Children: Young Adult (Gr. 10-12), #United States, #Friendship, #Love & Romance, #Social Issues, #Social Issues - Adolescence, #Adolescence, #Children's 12-Up - Fiction - General, #Teenage girls, #Family & Relationships, #Social Issues - Friendship, #Teenagers, #Travel, #Man-Woman Relationships, #Social Issues - Dating & Sex, #Interpersonal Relations, #Dating & Sex, #Dating (Social Customs), #South Atlantic, #Florida, #South, #Spring break, #South Beach (Miami Beach; Fla.)
231
Even though Holly had said that she and Diego weren't together, Alexa still wasn't sure what their history
had
been. It was impossible for Alexa not to feel a little guilty for kissing Diego -- even if he was technically available.
"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a professional photographer." A deep male voice interrupted her thoughts.
Alexa glanced over, irritated that some creep was ruining her moment of self-reflection.
But the boy beside her on the bench was none other than the very focus of her thoughts. Alexa gave a start. It was as if she'd been thinking about Diego so much he'd sprung, fully formed, from her head.
"I'm hoping you can help me," Diego continued, a smile tugging at his full lips. "I'm looking for someone smart and beautiful who likes to take candid shots of people in public places." He reached over and gently tucked a strand of hair behind Alexa's ear. "Do you know anyone who fits that description?"
Alexa inched away from him, trying not to notice how her whole body responded to even his slightest touch. She was also doing her best to ignore how good he looked in a long-sleeved black shirt and Sean John jeans. She could smell his Cool Water, and wished she could lean over and rest her head in the crook of his neck.
232
"What are you doing here?" she finally asked, taking her gaze off him. She pretended to watch a musician performing in the street.
"You told me you wanted to take pictures of Lincoln Road at night," Diego said. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him lift his hand as if he wanted to touch her again, but then he dropped it back into his lap. "I figured I would see you if I walked up and down the strip enough times." He paused and she could tell he was smiling. "I hope that doesn't make me a total stalker."
Alexa shook her head, suppressing her own smile. A group of drunken spring breakers wove past, arguing noisily about which bar to hit next.
"It's just that I really wanted to talk to you about what happened at the Delano," Diego explained, his voice impassioned. "I called Holly today, too, hoping I'd get in touch with you through her. But she never called me back."
"I haven't even
seen
Holly since last night," Alexa replied. "But I'm guessing she's still pretty upset." Then Alexa turned her head and looked straight at Diego, her heart aching at the sight of him. "Did
anything
ever happen between you guys?" she asked plainly.
This time Diego was the one to look away, glancing down at his hands. "Back when we were kids," he said. "When I still lived in Miami Beach. I was like, fourteen,
233
and we spent a week hanging out together. We had a lot of fun and on her last night... I kissed her." Diego glanced briefly at Alexa, smiling his frustratingly adorable smile. "But that was three years ago. And when I met her again this week --" Diego shook his head. "It just felt like we were old buddies, and that was all. I mean, Holly's a sweetheart, and she's a really good-looking girl but..." Diego looked back up, his dark eyes sweeping over Alexa's face. "She's not the girl for me."
Alexa bit her lip, unable to tear her gaze away from his. She held her breath as he leaned close and cupped her face in his hands.
"You re
the girl for me," Diego said softly.
Alexa was dying to melt into his arms and kiss him with all the tenderness she was feeling. But everything was still so jumbled in her mind -- the fight with Holly, and Alexa's own feelings of guilt and uncertainty. She'd resolved to take a break from boys and had to stick to that plan. It would give her the space and time she needed to sort herself out.
"Diego ..."Alexa began. Even saying his name was painful. "Diego, I think you're so wonderful. But I can't be with you right now." She tried to turn away again but Diego kept his hands gently on her face.
"Alexa," he pleaded. "Maybe Holly thought she and I had something more than we did, and I guess that's
234
why she got so mad last night. But I swear to you that there's nothing between us. I never lied to you, Alexa."
"I know," Alexa whispered, choking up. How could she have ever doubted the burning sincerity in Diego's eyes? She hadn't imagined the intensity of his feelings last night; they'd been as real and powerful as her own. His honesty was so seductive, but Alexa couldn't give into him now.
"It's not only about Holly," Alexa said as she slowly removed Diego's hands from her face. "It's about me." She felt her eyes grow hot, and she blinked back tears. "Maybe it's because I just got out of a relationship, or because of what happened at the Delano. But I need to, I don't know, make peace with
myself
before I can be with someone else again." She dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hand and gave Diego a small smile. "Does that make sense?"
Diego nodded, swallowing hard. "It does. But I wish you'd ... you'd still give me a chance." He suddenly sounded so lost, like a little boy. Gone was the suave gentleman he'd been last night.
Alexa knew that if she sat there any longer, she'd lose it and start weeping into Diego's shirt. She
hated
crying in front of anyone. So she stood and dropped her camera back into her tote.
"I should go," she told Diego, her voice breaking.
He stood quickly and took her hands in his. "Alexa,
235
wail -- will I see you again? When are you leaving Miami?"
"On Friday," Alexa whispered. "But please don't try to find me, Diego." She gazed into his beautiful eyes one last time. "Maybe ..." she added thoughtfully. "Maybe if we're meant to be together, we will be. Someday."
Then she raised her mouth to his and let herself kiss him quickly. If the kiss had lasted a second longer, she knew she wouldn't have been able to leave him. She pulled back just in time, ran her finger along his sharp cheekbone, and walked off into the night, half hoping he would follow her. But he didn't. As Alexa crossed Washington Avenue, she told herself she'd done the right thing. If only the right thing didn't feel like utter heartbreak.
Back in her room at the Flamingo, Alexa locked the door and settled on the carpet. She'd stopped at the drugstore on the way back and purchased new nail polish. Mani-pedis were Alexa's favorite form of therapy, after shopping and boys. She didn't have the energy to try on clothes now, and boys, of course, were out of the question.
Alexa rubbed nail polish remover on her nails, thankful for the quiet around her. It was eleven o'clock, and everyone on her floor was most likely
236
already out for the night, lining up for some club or another. For an instant, Alexa wondered what Holly was doing, but then she dismissed the thought entirely.
Alexa was unscrewing the cap on her jar of Mystique Pink when somebody rapped on the door. She glanced up, irritated at the interruption. Was it Holly? Or, more likely Kaitlin, acting as Holly's proxy again? Alexa wasn't sure which would be worse. Then the person knocked again and tried the doorknob.
"Come in!" Alexa called imperiously.
There was no response at first. Finally, a male voice asked, "Alexa?"
Alexa caught her breath. No. It couldn't be. How would he know to find her
here?
She stood and walked slowly to the door. Her imagination was playing tricks on her. It was probably Thomas, still hoping she'd be up for clubbing tonight.
But when she unlocked the door and eased it open, she learned that her first guess had been accurate.
"Tyler?" she whispered. She wanted to pinch herself. Was she actually looking at her ex-boyfriend? Here? In Florida?
Tyler ran a hand through his thick, dark-blond hair and gave Alexa a sheepish half smile. He had his black messenger bag slung across his chest and was carrying a Puma duffle. He wore jeans, a hooded
237
sweatshirt and Timberlands. He must have just flown in from New Jersey. But how? And why?
"Hey," he said awkwardly. "Surprise."
Alexa stared at him, speechless.
"Can I come in?" Tyler asked, gesturing to his bags.
"I why -- why are you here?" Alexa spluttered. "I never told you I was going to South Beach." Dazed, she moved aside to let him enter, then shut the door and turned to face him as he set his duffle and messenger bag on the floor.
Seeing Tyler in the middle of her room at the Flamingo felt no less bizarre than if a spaceship had suddenly crash-landed on the beach. Alexa shook her head, then sank onto the edge of Holly's bed.
"I know," Tyler said, cracking his knuckles. "At first I figured you were spending the break in Oakridge, like me."
"So, wait, you didn't go to Aspen?" Alexa asked.
Tyler shook his head and smiled sadly. "Of course not, Alexa. Who was I going to go with at the last minute?"
Alexa stared down at her bare toenails. That made sense. It also made her feel beyond guilty.
"So I'm at home this week, watching, like, way too much TV," Tyler continued, as if he'd rehearsed just how to tell Alexa his story. "And on Monday night, I start watching Pulse's spring break special. Just to torture
238
myself, I guess, because they're showing all these guys on a beach having a great time."
"Why don't you twist the knife a little deeper, Tyler?" Alexa sighed. "I get it. I suck."
"Let me finish," Tyler said. "Then they start showing this insane bikini contest. And then I see Holly Jacobson up there! Random, right? And I'm remembering how you once told me you and Holly used to be good friends, and
then ...
" He shrugged, as if he still couldn't believe it. "Then I see you. Up on the stage with Holly. I thought I was dreaming."
"You
saw
the bikini contest?" Alexa cried. She was surprised by the coincidence, but also thrilled by the fact she'd actually been on TV She'd always secretly suspected she might become famous one day. "I didn't think anybody I know saw it! I mean, I
did
ask my dad to TiVo it but--"
"Yeah," Tyler said. "I called him as soon as I saw it. He told me everything. That you'd gone down to South Beach with Holly. Where you were staying. All that."
I'm going to kill my father,
Alexa thought. She'd described the location of the Flamingo to him when she had called him after the bikini contest on Monday afternoon. He'd told Alexa to enjoy herself, and that he'd see her on Friday. Alexa had never suspected he would betray her by giving all the details to
Tyler.
And couldn't he have even called Alexa to let her know
239
Tyler was on his way down? Alexa could picture her dad, chain-smoking on the phone while flipping through the latest issue of
ARTnews
and half-listening as Tyler rambled on. He'd probably found Tyler's phone call romantic, and had been happy to play the part of Cupid.
"I got tickets online. The only available flight to Miami arrived at ten tonight," Tyler finished with another shrug. "So here I am."
"How was the flight?" Alexa asked, remembering that Tyler had never flown before.
"Whatever." Tyler shrugged, but Alexa knew him well enough to know what that meant: He'd been completely terrified. She thought of Holly, and smiled to herself.
A tense silence settled over the room as Alexa and Tyler studied each other. Alexa remained on Holly's bed while Tyler stood by the dresser, and Alexa was acutely aware of the gulf between them. She was reminded of their last encounter, back in her bedroom on that gloomy Thursday afternoon. Had it really been less than a week? So much had changed between then and now.
As if he were thinking the same thing, Tyler said, "You seem kind of different."
"How so?" Alexa asked, tugging on her braid and feeling mildly self-conscious.
240
"Just..." He angled his head. "More laid-back or something."
"Oh," Alexa said. She looked at Tyler, trying to surmise if he seemed different in any way Tyler was so handsome that, sometimes, if Alexa hadn't seen him for a while, his classic good looks were almost startling. She'd forgotten how chiseled his features were. In spite of herself, Alexa couldn't help but feel flattered that Tyler had rushed down from New Jersey expressly to see her. To try and win her back.
"Anyway," Tyler said, clearing his throat. "We need to talk." He folded his arms across his chest and looked at Alexa somberly. "I came down here because -- "
"I know," Alexa cut him off gently. "You don't have to explain. I'm blown away that you made this big trip for me, Tyler, but..." She shook her head. "We can't get back together." She lowered her lashes, hoping Tyler would take the rejection fairly well. She couldn't believe she had turned down two boys over the course of one night. That had to be some kind of record, albeit one that was very different from the record she'd set in Cannes.
Tyler shook his head. "That's not why I'm here, Alexa," he said.
Alexa blinked in surprise. "It's not?"
Tyler's golden-brown eyes were thoughtful. "Well,