Southern Admirer (Southern Loving Book 2) (17 page)

***

After an hour of trying on dress after dress, Jasmine
finally decided on the white crocheted lace mini dress with a pair of tan
cowboy boots. Shane planned the whole afternoon for them including Farrah and
Austin watching Shay while they were out.

A knock sounded on the
door.                                                                 

“Come in,” Jasmine sighed, looking at her
reflection in the mirror. Of all days why couldn’t her hair cooperate today?

“Shane wanted me to see if the date was still on
since you’re exactly five minutes late,” Farrah teased, strolling into the room
carrying an orange orchid.

“I know…just can’t get my hair to stay put.”

“Here let me.” Farrah moved to the chair in front
of the mirror. Within minutes, Farrah managed to braid Jasmine’s hair into a
ponytail and added the orchid. “Finished.”

Jasmine turned her head from side to side checking
out her new hair-do. “Wow, Thanks.”

“Can I give you a piece of advice?”

“Sure.”

Farrah sat on the bed and patted a spot next to
her. “I know it’s not easy to allow yourself the chance to be happy or open
yourself up to possibilities of love…don’t second guess what you want.”

“This would be a lot easier it this was lust and
not love,” Jasmine said softly. “I love him.” She wished she could tell her
mind she didn’t love him and that only her body wanted him. But that wasn’t the
case; it was already too late to stop the love that pumped through her veins
for Shane.

“Do you think Shane is lusting after you?” Farrah
asked, with a frown on her face.

“I don’t know,” she said truthfully.

“Lust doesn’t know what it wants and only lives in
the moment, there is no future for lust. But love knows what it wants, it would
fight for you and it lives endlessly.” Farrah stood up from the bed and took
one last look at her. “What you have with Shane is not lust it’s not a product
of the moment. That man downstairs wants and loves you.”

The door clicked closed signaling that Farrah was
gone. Twisting the bracelet on her wrist, she thought about how Shane used to
fill her dream, he was the icing she wanted on her birthday cake.

Jasmine remembered the day she gave up on that
dream two years ago. That was the day that her heart broke. She gave up loving
him. She remembered the argument she had with Sarah before she died. Standing
up from the bed Jasmine knew her time was coming to tell Shane those hurtful
words she said to Sarah.

“I’m ready,” Jasmine said walking down the hallway
with a big smile on her face. “I know I’m late…”

“You’re beautiful.” Shane smiled. “Take care of my
daughter,” he said to Farrah and Austin while his eyes were trained on Jasmine.

Going over to the bassinet, she placed a kissed on
Shay’s tiny fingers. Shane stood by the door trying to carry a picnic basket
and a red plaid blanket. “Here, allow me.” Her fingers brushed against his as
she took the blanket from him. Their eyes locked and for some strange reason,
her heart pounded against her rib cage. Get a grip, Jasmine, you’ve known this
man for years, she told herself.

Thirty minutes later, Shane and Jasmine were
walking along the ranch to the top of the hill were a weeping willow tree stood
proudly in the sunlight. When they finally reached the tree, she gasped. They
were on a hilltop that overlooked a lake below. Shane quickly laid the blanket
on the ground and set food out that Jasmine assumed Farrah prepared for them.
She smiled as she took it all in.

“Did you really prepare all this for me?” she
asked. If she weren't in love with Shane at that moment, she would have fallen
head over heels in love with him then. She stared up at him, scared to speak,
afraid to ruin the moment between them.

Shane looked down in her eyes that turned to a
hazel color in the sunlight. Just one look into her eyes, he knew he was a
goner and there was no going back. He’d known Jazzy for years; he was the guy
who sat near her brother threatening the male friends who came calling for her.
“I should have done this sooner...you’re a great mother, lover and friend.” He
pulled her into his arms and enjoyed the feel of her soft lush body against
his. “There have been countless times when you could have screamed, called me
names or leave. I love you and I will never let you down. I will always have
your back.”

Looking into his green eyes, she traced his lips
with her fingers. “I never told you…”

“Shhh, let's enjoy this lunch together. We have
been through so much.” He brought her over to the blanket. Shane helped her
down on the blanket before he took a seat beside her and began to dish out some
food.

This is the woman of my dreams.
It was like he was
looking for something when Jasmine came to babysit him that night eleven months
ago. Maybe there were signs pointing to her after being lost on a broken road
to nowhere. He knew that he could spend the rest of his life with her. Pouring
a glass of wine, he handed it to her.

Jasmine took the glass from him and looked out at
the shimmering lake below them. Closing her eyes, she listend to the beauty of
nature around her, from the birds chirping in the distance and the ducks quacking
below. “I really like it up here on the hill, Shane. It’s like a private
oasis,” she said opening her eyes, her heart quickening as he smiled at her.

“I thought you would like it.” He took a sip of
his wine before speaking further. “I haven’t done this in a long time.”

“A picnic?”

“A date,” he admitted. “But I couldn’t go another
day without telling you what’s on my mind. I know we have something good
together.”

“Are you ready to date again because…” Jasmine
stopped talking when she realized the hurt and sadness in Shane’s eyes.

“I’m ready to devote myself to another person.”

It seemed like she was getting everything she ever
wanted. Placing her glass down on the blanket, she ran her fingers through her
hair. “There is something you need to know…”

He placed his fingers to her lips. “Baby, let’s
just enjoy our peaceful day out here.”

Jasmine felt lost, and her heart was aching. She
daydreamed in the distance looking at the lake below. She thought about the day
she started falling for Shane. She remembered the hiding her binders where she
wrote in perfect cursive her name with his last name ‘Jasmine McBride’ with
hearts all around. She shoved those thoughts of them together away because he
was married and continued to be friends. If it were meant to happen, it would,
right? And now here she was it happening but she couldn’t stop feeling guilty.
She had everything she ever could wanted but at the cost of feeling guilty.

‘Honey, you love him. Be with him
’ a whisper said.

“What?” she asked looking at him.

Shane stopped eating and looked at her
suspiciously. “What? I didn’t say anything.”

“My mind is just elsewhere,” she replied, trying
not to appear flustered.

“Don’t worry, if Farrah and Austin weren’t capable
of handling a newborn, I would thought twice about allowing them to
babysit…plus Momma is at the guesthouse just in case she is needed.”

“Well, McBride, it seems like you thought of
everything.” She smiled. “Even the shrimp wraps, fruit, chips, vegetable
platter with dip, sweet iced tea and red wine.”

Shane brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I
wanted to do something special for you. You have been so gracious about moving
to Texas.” He leaned back with his hands supporting him.

“Thank you, it’s really nice of you, Shane.”
Jasmine's eyes returned to the food on the blanket.

Shane chuckled and grabbed a sandwich. “Take a
bite,” he said, holding a sandwich in front of Jasmine’s mouth. She opened her
mouth and took a small bite.

“
Mmm
, it’s good.” She nodded her head.
“Here, now you try mine.” Jasmine grabbed a sandwich out the container label
‘grilled southwest chicken wrap,’ and fed it to Shane.

The two continued to feed each other, going
through the sandwiches, grapes, strawberries, peaches and Doritos chips.

“I can’t wait until we give Shay a playmate,”
Shane said excitedly.

Jasmine cleared her throat as her iced tea
threatened to travel down the wrong pipe. “What?”

Shane popped another grape in his mouth. “You
haven’t thought about having another baby?”

“We’re not together like that,” she reminded him.
“Not to mention Shay is not even five-months old and you’re already discussing
having more kids.”

“I know but I can’t help but think we make
beautiful babies and it wouldn’t be bad to start another round of baby making
when Shay gets to six months at least.” Shane laid on his back looking up the
clear blue sky. “Think about it…nine months pregnant that mean we will be
welcoming another baby when Shay is over a year old.”

Jasmine giggled when he pulled her down next to
him. “This is quite romantic.” She turned and looked at him. “It’s these simple
moments that we have together that I cherish. The way you love me feels like
something out of a romance novel.”

“Don’t go changing the subject.” Shane trailed his
finger up her thigh. “I’ve been thinking, it would be nice to have another kid
when…”

Jasmine sat up quickly. She never even thought of
having another baby. She remembered the morning sickness she had with Shay. How
could Shane think about another baby when they’re dealing with the sleepless
nights? They weren’t even at a stage where Shay would turn one and two with
those screaming temper tantrums.

“We already have our hands full with Shay, have
you thought about terrible twos,” Jasmine interjected. “And our future has a
question mark by it…We shouldn’t bring anymore children into this world until
we’re solid.”

Shane appeared to be in deep thought. “What do you
want from me?”

For an extended second, her eyes remained steady
and unblinking on his face. A deep vertical line pulled between her perfectly arched
brows, as if someone had slapped her across the face. “What are we? Are we
dating? Or good friends? Just the baby mama?”

Jasmine knew that she was swimming in dangerous
water with Shane. Their arrangement wasn’t clear. Her mother’s voice echoed in
her head from when she was a freshman in college.
‘Baby girl things can’t
end well with hesitance or indecision.’

“God do you want me to put it on a Facebook page
that ‘I’m in a relationship with Jasmine St. Clair?’”

Jasmine smacked Shane across the face. She stared
at him for a millisecond before scrambling to stand up. Picking up a loaf of
bread, she walked down the hill to the lake and began feeding the ducks.

“What do you want, Jasmine? For me to get on my
knees in offer a ring to you!” he yelled from his spot on the blanket.

Turning around her eyes met his. “No! See that’s
where you’re wrong! I wanted a decision about where our relationship is
heading.”

Going back to feeding ducks, Jasmine knew she had
to make a decision regarding her future with Shane. Taking a deep breath, she
flicked the tear from the corner of her eyelid. She took a chance, but she had
to be honest with herself even if the truth hurt. There will be time where she
would have to sever ties and wait for someone who will fully value and commit
to her.

Chapter Eight

The picnic at the lake created a whole new game
changer for them. Shane went back to sleeping in his bedroom alone. And the days
went by and before you knew it two weeks had passed and neither one of them had
addressed the elephant in the room. Every day they ate breakfast, lunch and
dinner together. But it was different it was more like they were roommates.

Sitting in Shane’s office, Jasmine tapped her foot
to the beat of Reba McEntire’s “If I Were A Boy,” as she applied for jobs
online. At the moment she didn’t care if she found a job in her desired career
field in journalism, all she wanted was a good paying job to support Shay and
herself. A few days ago she decided not to move back to Denver, she wanted her
daughter to be close to her father and cousins.

“What are you doing in here?”

Jasmine stopped typing on the keyboard and looked
up at Shane standing there, dressed handsomely in jeans, black button up shirt
and matching cowboy hat. “Hello to you too,” she said, and checked her watch.
He was home earlier than expected.

Shane walked over to the Bose stereo and turned
down the music. “What are you doing in my office?” he asked again.

Leaning back in the brown leather swivel chair,
she folded her arms. “Applying for jobs,” she admitted. “I can’t stay here all
my life…I need to get a job and get out of your hair.”