Southern Spice (Southern Desires Series Book 1) (8 page)

“Of course.”

“Thank you. How about some deodorant and lip balm? I lost all my personal belongings as well in the storm.”

Sissie chuckled. “You got it, hon. I’ll bring you some face cream too, as I know I wouldn’t want to be without mine.

“If it’s not too much trouble, can you ask around and see if anyone else is available to umm . . . to review yesterday’s presentation? It’s so much more convenient for me than setting everything up in town.”
Of course, I’ve never been in town to know that for sure, but it’s close enough to the truth to almost be the truth.

“Oh, I can rustle up them folks faster than you can get bucked off a wild bronco.”

She heard Sissie laughing as the phone disconnected. The woman was interesting, to say the least; never had she meet anyone quite so happy all the time. It was like her positive energy was contagious.
If I knew you better, I would’ve asked for some panties too. But looks like another commando day.

Casey found herself looking forward to everyone coming over again. It reminded her of home. She grew up in a neighborhood where everyone knew each other. No one had a cookout just for the members of their house. It was more like a block party going on. There was music, and everyone brought something to eat and drink. The policy had always been the more the merrier. Why not apply it to the way she worked?
Oh yeah. I know why. Because JT said to keep it business. No personal ties. Don’t get emotionally attached. God, he must think we are heartless robots.

Her knee was feeling better but far from normal. The wise thing to do would be to sit and keep it elevated. Of course, she just invited the town over so she’d best get things prepared.
It would serve Derrick right if I waited for him to return and asked him to rearrange everything for me.

Casey decided it was best to do it herself so the people would feel welcome. Who knew what Derrick would do? Probably put the chairs in the barn instead of the living room. She limped her way through the kitchen and out the side door to where she found chairs yesterday. If her knee felt better, she could take several at a time. Instead, she only took one folding chair and headed back inside.

“What ya doing there, Miss Casey?”

She turned around and saw McLean on his horse not far from where she stood. “Getting things prepared for another presentation today.”

McLean chuckled and then hopped off his horse and tied him to the post. With his tall stature, he climbed the steps two at a time and took the chair she was holding. “Miss Casey, if you don’t mind me saying, you ain’t in any shape to be hauling all this stuff around yourself.”

That was the truth but not very flattering. How she wished she could look in a mirror right now and see what
they
saw.
But then again, maybe that’s only going to make me feel worse.
Did she look as bad as she felt? No, that wasn’t possible; she felt like death but was living and breathing.

McLean looked every bit of the part of Texan cowboy. He obviously didn’t believe in shaving every day like Derrick, but they both were tall, lean, and looked tough enough to take on a rattlesnake and win. Personality wise they were as different as night and day. McLean wasn’t gruff at all. Actually she found him to be easy-going and friendly like her.
God knows he is good-looking, so why am I not attracted to him instead of Derrick? I’ve never been into bad boys.

“I’m sure you have plenty to do around here without me adding anything to your list.”

“I reckon you ain’t been in Texas before, Miss Casey, because we help each other here.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate the help.”

Casey let him take all the chairs inside and set them up while she made another huge jug of lemon iced tea. Even in the air conditioning a bead of sweat trickled down the back of her neck. She wasn’t used to this type of heat. How Derrick and his crew managed it each day was beyond her. She was a northern girl, born and raised, and even the hottest days never felt like this.

“What the hell is going on?” a familiar voice barked at the entrance.

And here we go again.
Slowly she turned and prepared herself for the verbal lashing that was about to come once she delivered the news. “We’re having another meeting today.”

“And who authorized it to happen here?” Derrick took off his hat and hung it on the hook by the door.

Oh, how she wished she could say the state of Texas, but she knew there were no such laws in place. Nope, this was all her doing. Overstepping her boundaries as she had done in the past. But this time, she’d gone further than before. It would’ve been bad enough just inviting them once, but twice without speaking to him first, well now, she was the rude one.
I should feel bad, but I don’t. I expected a tongue lashing last night, but he said nothing outrageous about it. So he couldn’t have been that upset.

Does he even know what FEMA does?
Maybe not.
“You do know why I am here, correct? To help these people put their lives back in order.”

Derrick glared at her, a complete badass look with his hands on his hips. “I know why you think you’re here, but what you say and what actually happens when you leave are two different things.”

“What exactly does that mean?” She was offended that anyone, even someone as small-minded as he was, would accuse her of anything but wanting to help these people.

“It means I know firsthand what your agency represents, and I don’t want to be any part of it. If the others want to believe your lies, then let them, but I don’t want to hear them. Understood?”

What lies?
She was here delivering the same message she had many times over the past few years. It might not be a pleasant one, but it was all fact. She had never misled anyone, intentionally or not. Her heart pounded in anger. This might be his house, but she wasn’t going to be spoken to in such a manner.

“Mr. Nash, I do not know where you get your information, or what gives you the right to accuse me of being a liar, but I assure you I’m here with only the best of intentions for Honeywell and all who live here, including your arrogant ass!” Casey said sharply.

Derrick arched his brow then tipped his head back and laughed. “You come into my home, invite people without even asking my permission, and you think I’m arrogant?”

The look on his face was begging her to challenge his comment, but she didn’t. How could she when he was right? But she wasn’t fighting for herself right now. “Agreed, but at least I’m not an insensitive ass. There are people in this town who have lost everything, and you sit here like you don’t even care. Can’t you look past yourself and see that not everyone has it easy like you do?”

His nostrils flared, and his hands now were clenched into tight fists by his side. His jaw was locked, and she was sure if she had been a man, he would’ve knocked her onto her butt. Her words were sharp and were meant to be. Someone had to wake him up to reality. Life was not all about him. He had all this money and should be using it to help others.

“Let it go, Derrick. She’s only trying to do her job,” McLean said firmly.

She had totally forgotten he was still in the house. Looking over her shoulder, she saw McLean no longer looked as relaxed as he had before. He stood as though ready to defend her. Had she gone too far? Derrick didn’t appear to be so sensitive that he couldn’t take some criticism. Maybe she was wrong.

“McLean, don’t forget who signs your paycheck,” Derrick warned. There was no hint of joking when he spoke. Then he walked up and bent close to whisper into her ear. “If you want to see how much of an ass I can be, keep messing with my life—you might just find out.”

Her heart was pounding from his nearness, and she swallowed any possible response, not trusting her voice.

When he stood upright again, he looked in her eyes. Whatever he saw caused his cold eyes to soften slightly. Then as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, and he brushed past her and went into what looked like an office on the far right. Standing alone again with McLean, she turned red-faced to see him shaking his head.

“Don’t let him scare you, Miss Casey, he’s not as bad as he wants you to believe. If you saw the man he was before, you would understand.”

Before what?

It really didn’t matter. She was only going to be there for another five days and then she would be off to another assignment. “McLean, I’m here for only one thing and trying to understand that man is not it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for whoever Sissie is able to rustle up on such short notice. I want to be ready to answer whatever questions they still have after yesterday’s meeting.”

There wasn’t anything more she could do without her computer and printer. If she had them it would not only make things easier but also save a lot of time. She couldn’t waste time looking at the negative side of things. Thankfully she’d been able to practically memorize the forms by heart. All she needed to do was pull herself together. McLean might think his boss is not all that scary but what she had seen in his eyes had shaken her to the core. She had no idea what had possessed her to speak to him in such a manner. It was like she lost all common sense when he was near her.
What the heck is wrong with me?

Her emotions were all over the place these last few days, and she needed to get them under control.

She went to the washroom and splashed cold water on her face. If her suspicions were correct, Sissie was going to be the first to arrive. Casey wished the cold water could wash away the frustrations from her day.
If only it was that easy.

C
asey knew her job inside and out. People asked questions, and she no longer needed to search for the correct response. There was pride in being able to give someone the right answer instead of leaving them to fend for themselves. JT said to direct them to the website where all the information was laid out for them. But Casey had never found it to be as user-friendly as it could be. And she never understood the concept of directing them to a computer when most of the time they didn’t have a home left, never mind access to the Internet. Some of the policies were asinine.
If I were in charge, a few things would need to change, and this is one of them.

The afternoon went by so quickly, but Derrick didn’t show his face, not once. That shouldn’t surprise her as he’d made it clear people weren’t welcome. But how could he resist with all the laughter echoing through the house? Everyone had such a positive attitude despite many of them losing everything. Why wouldn’t he want to be around them? What could they have possibly done for him to shut them out?

The last few people left, and Sissie turned to her and asked, “Is everything okay?”

And there I go letting my emotions show again. I was so close.
Forcing a smile she replied, “Yes, just trying to recap the day in my head for documentation later.”

Sissie laughed. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a horrible liar?”

My entire life.
Casey tried to change the subject. “Thank you again for getting the word out to folks. This really was much easier. I should have everything wrapped up in another few days and maybe even finish early.”

“Well, we can’t have that. We’ll have to come up with some excuse to keep you around longer. Look how good you have been for Derrick. You’re here for just a few days, and you already have him opening up the ranch to us.” She nudged Casey with her elbow and continued, “I mean the last time any of us tried coming out here he shot a few rounds in the air then threatened to shoot us all for trespassing if we ever came back. We were lucky that Jack and McLean were there to calm him down. But who would’ve thought a tiny northern girl like you could do more than all the tough Texans around here? You’re going to have to give me your secret.”

Casey knew he didn’t like them here, but he actually pulled a rifle on them? If she’d known that before, she never would have invited them now. She was here to help them, not put their lives at risk.
Really, Casey? Can I possibly make this any worse than I already have?

She needed to make sure this was the last time they would meet on his property. How could she deliver that message without letting on that he’d had no part of opening the ranch to them in the first place?
There’s always the truth, but I don’t think that would sit well with my boss.

“Special circumstances. But going forward our meetings will be held in town.”
Because I’ve already pushed my luck.

“Two days is still amazing.” As they stood on the porch, Sissie looked around. “You should’ve seen this place before. The entire town used to come for holiday celebrations. Penny used to decorate the barn and all along the fence to the main gate. She had more lights strung up than there are stars in the sky. It sure was a sight to see.”

Casey looked around and didn’t see any sign of such things now. Who was Penny? An old girlfriend or maybe an ex-wife? She knew it wouldn’t take much to get Sissie spilling all she knew, but what business of hers was it? It didn’t have an effect on how she did her job, and he had already warned her not to cross the line into his personal life.

“I see the jacaranda tree is in bloom,” Sissie said. “Unusual for this time of year, but then again, our weather has been a lot warmer than usual too.”

Casey looked around to see what she was talking about. Then she saw off to the right, up on the hill, was a large tree with beautiful purple flowers. She’d never seen one like that before nor had she heard of a jacaranda. It looked out of place as it was the only bright color she’d noticed on the ranch.

“No matter how pretty it is, it still makes me so sad to look at it.” Sissie’s voice was quiet and for the first time, no hint of joy in it at all. “I’m sure it’s added to Derrick’s already foul mood.”

“Why?” The words slipped out before she could stop them. But she wanted to know. Maybe then she could understand what Derrick’s issue was.

Sissie reached out and touched Casey’s shoulder lightly. “You don’t know?” Casey shook her head. “Oh, my. I really shouldn’t talk about it.”

Now you want to be quiet? Really? You can’t leave me hanging like this now. Come on. Cough up the information, girl
! Even though she could see the sadness in Sissie’s eyes she prodded her to go on. “Sometimes it helps to talk about it.”

Sissie looked hesitant to speak. Then she reached out and grabbed Casey by the hand and pulled her along as they went down the steps and walked toward the jacaranda. Casey thought her knee was going to give out as it was still on the mend, which meant the injury hadn’t been serious, but Sissie didn’t slow her pace any. Stopping her now might mean not getting the answer. So Casey bit her lip and pushed on.
I’m going to pay for this, but I have to know.

As they got closer to the tree, Casey was filled with panic. Two white crosses.
Oh, no.
Part of her wanted to turn back to the house, but she needed to know. Was this the reason Derrick was so . . .
angry? Or was it actually grief? Sadness? Maybe all mixed into one.

Once they arrived at the top of the hill, Casey saw the names. Penelope Anne Nash on one, and Kimberly Grace Nash on the other. The pulling in the pit of her stomach threatened to give way but the question came anyway. “Who are they?”

In a voice that could barely be heard over the wind, Sissie answered. “His wife, Penny, and daughter, Kim.”

Her worst fears were confirmed.
Oh the poor man.
“What happened?”

“No one really knows for sure, but they were all on vacation. A dam broke and Penny and Kim were washed off the road and . . .”

Casey reached out and put an arm around Sissie. The loss of these two affected more than Derrick, and she needed to remember that.

“It has been five years, but Derrick has never been the same. I think he blames himself.”

“Why?”

“Because he wasn’t there. We tried to be there and help him through it, but he wouldn’t let anyone in. He doesn’t even come ’round here no more unless there’s an issue, and he doesn’t ever come into town.”

Survivor’s guilt. I have seen too much of that.
Then she recalled what she had said to him earlier that day. How she accused him of not caring about anyone but himself. That he only liked things and not people. The acid from her stomach churned and for good reason. “Sissie, I need to get back to the house.” She needed to find Derrick and apologize. Sorry wasn’t going to sound like much, but it was where she needed to start.

“Please don’t tell him I told you. He can be—”

“I won’t say a word.” She understood. The brief time she had been there she’d seen something in his eyes that said he wasn’t one to mess with.
But I ignored it and look how I must have hurt him. God, I’m the arrogant ass, not him.

Casey didn’t wait for Sissie as she started to make her way back down the hill. She saw a man on a horse at the bottom looking up at them as he approached.
I might be facing it sooner than I thought.

But as he got closer she realized it was McLean. “You ladies shouldn’t be up here.”

“Sorry,” Casey said softly.

“Sissie, if he finds out you brought her up here, there’ll be hell to pay,” McLean warned her. “Or has your memory vanished in this heat?”

“Don’t you try scaring me, McLean. You know I ain’t afraid of any boys, especially you,” Sissie shot back at him.

“There’s only one you need to be worried about. And you’d be wise not to forget it.” Then he turned to face Casey. “Miss Casey. I can’t tell you what to do, but I’ve known Derrick for a long time. Nothing good can come out of you trying to talk to him about what happened. He just doesn’t open up like that, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Casey nodded as she made her way alone back to the house. She absorbed McLean’s warning, but something within her told her Derrick wouldn’t hurt her, not physically at least. If he was going to he would’ve done so already, seeing how far she had pushed him unknowingly. But with what she now knew, there were other things at risk. It was no longer only her job she needed to be concerned about. Derrick’s feelings took precedence at the moment.

When she re-entered the house, the cool air conditioning snapped her out of the daze she was in. Burying something under the rug and pretending it wasn’t there had never been the way she approached things. Nope. She was more of the take the bull by the horns and hold on for the ride kind of person. All she needed to do was what she did with everyone else who had suffered a loss.
Start the conversation then shut up and listen.

Derrick didn’t trust himself to leave his office while people were there. It was hard enough with just Casey, but if he had to see Sissie for a second time that day he was going to lose it, and the town was going to have a lot more to deal with than recovering from a tornado.

Deep down he knew Casey had gone into defensive mode when he’d questioned her character. Her reaction was nothing compared to what his would’ve been had the tables been turned. What she didn’t know was the struggle he’d faced already to contain his anger these last few days. Feelings he thought he’d buried long ago were now resurfacing at an out of control rate.

He opened up the desk drawer and pulled out the picture frame that used to sit on the desk until it became unbearable. Derrick looked at Penny first with her long blonde hair hanging loosely and blowing in the wind. Kim had been the spitting image of her mother. She’d been tall for her age and had beautiful blue eyes that would have stolen many boys’ hearts.
God knows you stole mine, baby girl.

He ran a finger over her cheek in the picture and closed his eyes. Derrick couldn’t even remember if he had kissed her goodbye when he’d left that day. It was bittersweet, but he didn’t want to forget, not one thing.

The last thing he remembered was Kim wearing her puppy costume from a dance recital she’d just participated in a few days before they’d left on their vacation. She had refused to take it off the evening before he left and said she wanted to be a puppy forever ’cause they were so cute. He had promised her that one day they would get a puppy. But that day would never come. Every dream and promise was ripped away a week later.

His daughter would have turned twelve last month.
I wonder if you would’ve been like your mama, all sweet and only see the good in everyone? Or would you be like me and see people for who they really are and not who they pretend to be? Insincere.

He’d encountered too many insincere people after the accident.
Accident?
It was a word that even now rubbed him the wrong way. That was no accident. It had been neglect and incompetence. Just because no one had been charged with a crime, didn’t mean it hadn’t been one.

Looking closely at the picture one last time before he placed it back in the drawer he said, “I promise you, one day I’ll make them pay. I won’t rest until they do.”

There was a knock on the door, and he hesitated to respond. McLean knew better than disturb him when he was here. The only time he called was if there was something urgent. Derrick had become very good at keeping everyone at a distance. The tactics he used to make that clear were questionable if not illegal, but it was only the end result he cared about. What was the worst that could happen? He could spend the rest of his life in jail. He was in one already, one without bars.
At least in jail, no one will ask me how I am feeling.

The knock came again. Only then did he notice the noise from the
guests
had stopped. Maybe Casey was just trying to let him know the coast was clear if he wanted to leave the four walls he had come to enjoy or at least start to feel comfortable in. He pushed back from the desk and walked over and unlocked the door.

Casey was standing there with an unusual expression. Her eyes glistened as though she was about to cry.
I know they can be pushy, but folk around here don’t normally make people cry.