SovereignsChoice (18 page)

“He’s probably just cold because he needs
to learn how to love again.” Lexy gets a dreamy look in her eyes. “He lost the
only woman he ever cared about when Katherine died and now you’ve reawakened
feelings in him he thought had died with her.”

“Will you please try to sound less like a
trashy romance novel?” I ask in exasperation. “Katherine—was that the name of
the witch he loved? And possibly—”

“Killed. Yup.” Lexy nods, her red hair
bouncing. “I couldn’t get her last name out of anyone—lost in the mists of time
I suppose.”

“I wonder if she’s the one that copy of
Farrow’s
belonged to,” I mutter to myself.

“What?” Lexy asks. “Why would you have a
copy of a beginner spell book here?”

I tell her all about the mysterious book,
the tingling in my fingertips when I touched it, as well as the way I actually
lit two candles by magic. Although I’m not sure how I did it or if I can ever
do it again.

When I’m finished, Lexy looks at me with
wide eyes. “Emma, that’s wonderful.Amazing!”she exlaims. “You finally
did magic!” She leans over to give me a tight, ecstatic hug and then frowns.
“Why in the Goddess’ name didn’t you tell me before?”

“I felt weird discussing it over Aiden’s
private phone line,” I confess, pulling away. “And besides, I kept hoping I’d
be able to do it again so I could report that I’m finally not a dud anymore.
But I’ve tried and tried and so far…” I shrug. “Nothing.”

“If you did it once, you can do it again,”
Lexy says with utter certainty. “What exactly were you doing differently when
you managed the first time?”

“Uh, well…” I’ve already told her so much,
I guess it can’t hurt to tell a little more. “Aiden was touching me. Actually,
we were touching each other. And, well…” I can feel my cheeks getting hot.
“When we were finished, the candles were lit.”

“Sex Magic,” Lexy breathes. “That’s amazing,
Emma. Who knew a vampire would be the one to finally break down the barriers
and let your magic out?”

I frown because her words are similar to
what Aiden said. “What makes you think I have barriers holding it back? With
most duds, they just have no magic at all.”

Lexy shakes her head. “But you’re not a
dud—this
proves
it. Besides, when we were kids, I remember hearing your
mom talking to my mom one night. Your mom said you were going to be the most
powerful witch of your generation—she said she was already seeing signs of your
power leaking out around the edges.”

“But that’s impossible,” I say blankly. “My
mother died when I was only eight—way before I hit puberty. And I don’t
remember ever having any powers back then. I couldn’t have.”

“I dunno.” Lexy shrugs. “I’m just telling
you what I heard. I never said anything about it before because, well, I didn’t
want to hurt your feelings.”

“Thanks,” I say dryly but I know she means
well. And truthfully, knowing I was a massive disappointment to my mother’s expectations
would have been pretty hard to bear growing up.

“You’re welcome.” She gives me a smile.
“And just wait and see, you’re going to have magic yet. All you need to do is
practice while you and Aiden are getting your kink on.”

“Right,” I murmur. “It should be totally
possible to concentrate on working a complicated spell while I’m tied down,
being sexually tortured.”

This, of course, brings on a whole new
barrage of questions that I would rather not answer since the champagne seems
to have worn off. But Lexy—being Lexy—is like a bloodhound on the scent. She
won’t give up until she gets every last kinky detail. We spend the rest of her
visit talking about the ins and outs of being a vampire’s submissive sex slave
and the time just flies.

The next time I glance up at the clock,
it’s almost four forty-five. “Oh my Goddess.” I scramble out of my chair. “You
have to leave. Aiden is going to be here in fifteen minutes.”

Lexy pouts. “I thought you said it was okay
with him for me to come by? Why can’t I stay and meet him?”

“He said it was okay as long as I kept on
the harness,” I say. I’m already on my feet and tugging at her arm, trying to
get her up and out of the house. “But I took it off. He’s already pissed at me
for disobeying him last night. I don’t need him to be even angrier.”

Lexy frowns and crosses her arms. “And what
happens when he gets mad? Does he beat you? Because there are limits, Emma,
even for the Sacrifice Laws.”

“No, it’s that he doesn’tbeat me,”
I say, thinking of last night. “He doesn’t whip me or kiss me or tuck me in or
anything. He just gets all cold and withdrawn.” Just thinking of the look on
Aiden’s face last night makes my chest tight. I really,
really
don’t
want to go through that again.

Lexy looks thoughtful. “Hmm. An emotionally
withholding vampire. Now what you have to do is—”

“What I have to do get you out of here so I
can put that stupid harness back on before he gets home. Which is going to be
in…” I glance at the clock. “Ten minutes. Hurry up, Lexy, move your ass!”

“Well you don’t have to be rude about it,”
she huffs but at least she’s moving now. I shoo her out of the house with
multiple promises of more get-togethers and lunches by the pool. But despite my
attempt to hurry, I still only have five minutes to get back into the harness
and try to look normal by the time she finally drives off.

Feeling like Cinderella at five ’til
midnight, I rush for the bedroom, stripping off my clothes as I go. Why do I
keep doing this to myself? Next time Lexy comes over I’ll set the alarm on my
phone and get rid of her a whole hour before Aiden gets home. That is, if there
is
a next time. If he catches me without the harness on and I let on
that I took it off because I didn’t want to wear it in front of my cousin, he
might ban her from the house.

My thoughts are chaotic and my hands are
trembling as I finally manage to get free of my clothing and start strapping
the harness back on. The loop around my right thigh goes surprisingly well, the
thin leather strap folding into place around my flesh as though it was made for
me. I insert the vibrator—making sure it’s all the way off first—and then go to
work on the second strap.

And this is where I run into trouble. The
strap is stiff and it doesn’t want to fasten. I push and wiggle, trying to get
it threaded through the tiny silver buckle but it won’t budge. A quick glance
at the grandfather clock says it’s one minute until five. I still haven’t heard
the crunch of tires on the shell driveway but Aiden could be here at any
minute.

In desperation, I return my attention to
the stubborn strap. I have managed to feed the thin leather through the silver
buckle but now it won’t come out the other side. Cursing under my breath, I
give a mighty yank…and hear a sharp
pop
.With dread I open my
hand to see that one entire side of the strap has torn off and is lying like a
dead snake in my palm.

I stand there for a minute, just looking at
it.
Oh my Goddess, what have I done? What have I done?
Panic rises in my
throat but I push it back down. Grimly, I examine the damage. Maybe I can tie
the leather straps back together and then—

“Don’t bother. It’s broken.”

The deep, familiar voice from behind me
makes my heart sink. I turn slowly to see Aiden standing there, wearing a disapproving
look on his face.

“Master,” I begin. “I can explain—”

“No explanation is needed,” he says crisply.
“I can see well enough that you’ve disobeyed me.”

Feeling backed into a corner, I try a
counterattack. “How did you even get here? I never heard your car driving in.”

“I saw your cousin driving away as I was
coming up the drive. I stopped the car and walked the last bit of the way.”

“In order to sneak up on me!” I say accusingly.
“You were hoping to catch me doing something wrong.”

“No, I was hoping
not
to.” He
frowns. “I was afraid you’d disobey orders and remove the harness if you had
your cousin over.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” I demand. “It’s one
thing to wear it around you but it’s just plain weird to have it on around
family.”

“It was my order that you wear it without
fail all day, every day,” Aiden says quietly. “You agreed to that, Emma.” He
takes a step toward me, looming over me, looking every inch the intimidating
vampire Master that he is. “I also gave orders that you not touch yourself.”

I feel my cheeks getting hot. “What-what
are you talking about?”

Aiden looks at me angrily. “Don’t lie to
me, Emma. I can stand anything but that. I can tell you’ve allowed yourself a
sexual release.”

Now I’m blushing all over. “How can you possibly
know that?”

He lifts his nose and inhales deeply as
though testing the air. “I can smell it,” he says, his voice dropping to a
menacing purr. “Your pent-up desire, your desperate release. You deliberately
disobeyed my orders and made yourself come.”

I open my mouth to deny it…then remember my
crazy multiple-orgasm fest when I was trying to get the damn harness off.
“Okay,” I say at last. “I did but it wasn’tdeliberate. It was an
accident.”

He raises one very skeptical eyebrow at me.
“You had an orgasm by
accident
? Emma, do you think I’m stupid?”

“No, of course not! But if you’d just let
me explain—”

“Let
me
explain something to
you
.”He grips my chin firmly with his long, cool fingers and holds my eyes with
his own, speaking with a quiet intensity that shuts me up. “I need your sexual
tension just as I need your complete submission. Not just for me—there are
other forces at work, other things at stake than just the two of us and this
petty little game we’re playing.”

“What other things?” I demand. “Why don’t
you just tell me instead of hinting around all the time?
I’m
the one who’s
expected to submit.
I’m
the one who has to wear harnesses and straps and
let you fuck me naked in public. Did it ever occur to you that if there’s a
bigger reason for all this, maybe I’d like to be in on the secret too?”

His face is closed and he drops his hand,
releasing my chin from his punishing grip. “You’ll know everything in the
fullness of time. But not now—not yet.”

“
When?
”I explode, so full of frustration I can’t hold back anymore. “When
are you going to tell me? Or are you just going to keep me in the dark as long
as it suits you? Is that how you treated Katherine?”

His gray eyes flash silver and I know at
once I’ve gone too far. I shrink back away from him but he never lifts a hand
to me. He just stands there looking at me. “Where did you hear that name?” His
voice is cold and quiet but his eyes are terrible to look at.

“It doesn’t matter where I heard it,” I say
but the courage has leaked out of me at the sight of those eyes. It’s not just
anger I see in their silvery depths but pain—somehow I have wounded him. And
though I’m hurt and upset and completely pissed-off, I never wanted that. Never
wanted to hurt him. “You loved her, didn’t you?” I say softly. “Would you have
kept her in the dark if there was something important going on?”

“No.” His voice is bitter and he finally
looks away. “It was
she
who kept
me
in the dark. And then her
secrets killed her.”

“Aiden—” I start to say but he shakes his
head.

“No more. I cannot speak of this.” He turns
to go, his broad shoulders tense under his expensive gray suit jacket.

“Wait!” I exclaim. “What about dinner?
And…everything else?” I’m trying to ask him if we’ll ever get back to our
regular routine. It seemed bizarre to me at first but now it’s the norm and
well, I missit. I miss Aiden. His hands on me, his lips and mouth
exploring my body, the soft, caressing way he calls me
darling
. But now,
even though he’s standing in the same room with me, he seems
remote—unreachable. It’s as though he is standing on a distant mountaintop I
can’t climb.

“Aiden,” I whisper. “Master,
please
…”

“I’ll have Barnes bring a tray to your
room,” he says, not turning around. “Your education is suspended for now. Do as
you please.” Then he stalks out of the room. I hear his footsteps and then the
heavy sound of the front door closing.

And I know he is gone.

I mope around the room the rest of the
evening and finally go to bed early after barely picking at the tray Barnes
brought me. I’m so miserable I can hardly see straight, which is stupid, right?
Anyone would think I had fallen in love with Aiden James and was depressed
because he didn’t love me back. Which is stupid—too stupid for words.

But not too stupid for tears. When I finally
turn out the lights and slide beneath the sheets, I feel them hot and salty on
my cheeks. Angrily, I swipe them away. What’s wrong with me? Why do I care so
much if he’s unhappy with me? If I hurt his feelings? He hurt mine too, damn
it! And he’s clearly keeping secrets—not telling me things I need to know.
There’s a mystery here somewhere and Aiden is trying his damnedest to keep me
from solving it.

I tell myself these things and try to work
up a good fit of righteous indignation but all I can manage is a horrible
headache right behind my eyes. Goddess, there’s no use denying it—I have
feelings for that damn vampire. And it makes me miserable to be fighting with
him.

You more than have feelings—you love
him,
whispers a little voice in my head but I push
it away. I can’t be in love with my vampire Master. After all, our arrangement
may feel like an eternity sometimes but it’s strictly temporary. The Laws of
the Sacrifice state that once a year is up, I’ll be set free. Then Aiden will
choose someone else—another Sacrifice at next year’s Sacrifice Ceremony. And
he’ll probably find one who’s a lot more compliant and eager to be mastered
than I. Someone who’s prettier and slimmer and not a dud and… Goddess, I hate
her already and I don’t even know who she is! But just the idea of anyone else
with Aiden makes me feel crazy.

I don’t know how long I lie awake in the
darkness, tossing and turning, my brain churning in endless circles. Because
Aiden has told me to do as I like, I put on a silky white nightgown I found in
the back of the wardrobe out of spite.
I’m not sleeping naked if I don’t
have to!
I tell myself defiantly.

But the nightgown keeps getting twisted
around my hips and bunching up underneath me. It’s irritating in the extreme
and weeks of sleeping nude, it feels too hot and confining. Finally I pull it
off and drop it over the side of the bed. Then and only then, when I feel the
cool whisper of the sheets against my naked body, do I finally drop off to
sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An uneasy dream twists my thoughts. Someone
is hurting someone I love. Someone who takes care of me, who I need to take
care of in turn. They are coming for her but I won’t let them hurt her! I’ll
fight. I’ll show them what I can do, that I’m not too little or too young to
control the power. I’ll show them…

Bright orange shadows dance against my
closed eyelids, driving the uneasy dream away. Somehow I know that something is
wrong. I open my eyes to see flames flickering around the curtains of one of my
windows. The smell of smoke assaults my nose. Panic leaps inside me like a
living thing—fire! My room’s on fire!

I jump out of bed and run for the door but
the metal knob burns my hand. I jump back with a cry. Black smoke is seeping
under the door and the flaming curtains have fallen onto the bed where I was
lying just a minute ago.

I go to the other window, the one not yet
on fire, but I’m small, my arms are those of a child. There’s no way I can lift
the heavy glass and wood. I push against it anyway, trying with all my might,
not wanting to die in the hell my room has become.

Outside the glass I see a face. A leering,
laughing, swarthy face with short stubby horns on its forehead. He is mouthing
something to me but I can’t hear his words. I know one thing though—if I go
out, I’ll be in as much danger there as I am here in the burning house.

With a little moan, I back away from the
window. I find a dark corner and curl into a ball, my arms wrapped around my
knees. I don’t know what else to do.

“Emma? Emma!” A familiar voice screams my
name. The door burst open and I see my mother standing there. She is coughing
and choking, the smoke filling her lungs but still her first thought is of me.
Seeing me in the corner, she runs to pull me into her arms. “Oh sweetheart!”

“Mamma?” I’m crying now, my hot face
pressed to her neck. “I’m scared.”

“Don’t be,” she tells me. “We’ll get out of
this but you have to be very, very brave. Now tuck your head in like this…”She
tucks my exposed head and hands into my long nightgown and holds me close to
her body like a precious bundle. “I’m going to run through the house, Emma. It’s
on fire but I’m going to use magic to keep us safe—to keep you safe. Do you understand?”

From within the protective covering of my
nightgown, I murmur a muffled, “Yes Mamma.” But I’m not sure how she’s going to
do it. Even as a young witch who hasn’t yet come into her powers, I know that
fire is the easiest element to call…and the most difficult and dangerous to
control. Not only that, it’s drawn to witches—it hungers for us. That’s why our
kind was burned at the stake in the old days—once the flames tasted them, there
wasn’t enough magic in the world to keep from being burned alive. But the sound
of my mother’s voice says she’s going to try.

“Here we go, sweetheart!” I feel the
swaying motion of her running, still clutching me tight to her. The heat is
intense, the flames licking at us like hungry tongues but somehow my mother
keeps them off. I hear her chanting under her breath, feel the magic flowing
out of her like water…like blood.

Even as a child I know this isn’t right.
She’s giving too much, expending too much energy—too much life force. It’s as
though she’s cut a vital artery in her arm and the flow is all that is keeping
us safe from the flames. But how long can she keep it up? And how can she live
if she gives herself away so recklessly?

I hear her voice weakening and the swaying
is more pronounced. She is stumbling now, fighting her way through the burning
house with only one thing in mind—saving me. Getting me out in time before the
blazing roof collapses. I don’t know how I know that’s what she’s thinking but
I do. And then I know something else—she doesn’t think she’s going to make it
herself.

I want to push my head out of my nightgown
and protest. To tell her she has to stay with me—that she can’t leave me. Like
so many free-spirited witches, my mother is a single parent. She’s all I have
in the world. Oh I have other family but none so dear to me as her. None whose
hearts are linked to mine by an unbreakable bond.

Suddenly I hear a loud thumping—like
someone banging on something. I push my head up and out of the confines of my
nightgown and find myself almost suffocating with smoke. My mother has reached
the front door of our modest little house. She is still clutching me to her but
she can’t get the door open. She’s kicking it with her bare foot as she jiggles
the knob, all while still keeping me safe in her arms. I can feel her distress
rising, like a silver mist between us. Please, she’s thinking, throwing her
thoughts out into the night like a cry for help. Just help me save my baby. Just
help me save Emma…

Suddenly the door leaps open, as though
someone has yanked it from the outside. I tumble out of my mother’s arms and
onto the hard wooden porch, bruising both knees. I turn, expecting to see that
she’s come with me, out of the inferno.

Instead I see her still in the house—just
inside the doorway—wreathed in flames.

“Mamma!” I try to go to her but something
or someone holds me back. A strength I cannot fathom is keeping me from getting
to her. “Mamma!” I scream again but she only shakes her head.

“Go, Emma!” she shouts above the roar of
the flames. “I love you but you have to go!”

“Come with me!” I beg, still reaching for
her.

“I can’t.” Her long ebony hair is alight,
the black turned to an orange-and-red-and-gold corona by the flickering, hungry
flames. “I can’t, Emma. The fire, once called, demands a sacrifice. Go!”

I don’t understand her words. I only know
that my mother is burning…burning… I struggle in the strong grip of whoever is
holding me back.

“Keep her safe,” my mother cries, as the
flames consume her. “You are oath bound to protect her!”

“I will,” a deep voice says. And then he is
taking me away, taking me to safety while my mother burns. “Don’t look,” he
tells me. “You don’t want to see.”

“Mamma! Mamma!” I scream and beat against
his back but he pays me no attention. He moves me swiftly away from the burning
house and out into the dark yard. Out there, among the trees, I see a swarthy
face—the man with horns—coming for me. But when he sees my protector, he
scowls.