Spark (Heat #2) (4 page)

I reluctantly step back into the empty building at Tyler's urging. This wouldn't be my first choice for a place to talk about what happened between us, but it's better than nothing. The sooner we come to an agreement about how we'll work together, the better. All I'm looking for is mutual understanding so when Nova reopens there's no residual tension gnawing at us. If that's not possible, I'm going to quit and start looking for a new job.

He turns to look at me. "I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I fucked up this badly."

I try to stifle an unwanted, yet uncontrollable, smile.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

I shrug, knowing it's a rhetorical question. If he actually wanted me to answer it, I would. I'd tell him that he's insanely jealous and territorial. I'd tell him that he let my past with Brendon forge a wedge between us.

"The fire messed me up." He exhales harshly. "I'm still numb.  I keep expecting to wake up from this nightmare, but it's real."

"It is real." I stare up at him. "I know that it's been incredibly hard."

He studies my face. "I can't close my eyes without seeing the flames."

I want to tell him that it's the same for me, but I don't. I do see the flames, but I can chase them away by going for a walk or reading a book. I can escape the thought of them because my life is still intact. Tyler's isn't.

He runs an unsteady hand across his forehead. "I'm trying to keep it together for the employees but I'm hanging on by a thread. Hunter wants to rebuild. He's fronting the cost before insurance kicks in so I jumped on board. It's moving too fast and at the same time not fast enough. I want my restaurant back."

I look into his eyes. "I doubt I can fully understand everything you have to deal with right now."

"The other night was an escape from all of it. I stopped thinking about it when we were together. I felt relaxed for the first time since Nova… since I lost Nova. You helped me that night, Cadence. You let me feel something other than anger and hopelessness."

I tilt my head.

"You're an incredible woman." He swallows hard. "When I'm with you I feel this energy that I can't explain. It's right there between us. I know you feel it too."

I do feel it. It's palpable. I know other people sense it when they're near us. It's not enough though. It can't negate the things he said to me.

"I messed up when you said you didn't want to go to Magari."

"You did," I agree. "You made assumptions that weren't true."

"I know." He shoves his hand through his thick brown hair. "It was wrong. I feel sick for doing that to you but you need to understand what I saw in your face."

I raise my hand to my neck, my fingers resting against my skin. "What did you see in my face?"

"Anxiety," he offers as he pulls on the arm of the T-shirt he's wearing adjusting it on his bicep. "You had the same look on your face that night at Nova when I first asked you about Brendon."

I stare at his arms, at all the tattoos. I don't have any. I've never wanted to display myself in that way to the world. I've always tried to hide behind an apron or in my apartment.

"I made an assumption that you were hesitant because of another guy. I'm sorry about that. I realize now that you were just trying to protect me. You knew that walking into another restaurant so soon after losing Nova would drop me."

I breathe a sigh of relief, grateful for the apology even if the reasoning behind it is a stretch. I never considered that going to another restaurant would be too much for him, but I guess it makes sense.

He doesn't wait for me to respond. "I met my sister for dinner last night. I lasted less than five minutes inside the bistro by her place. The smells, the sounds, all of it was a reminder of Nova. We bailed and went to her place instead."

"It'll get easier," I offer with a sigh.

"Rebuilding Nova is a starting point." His chest expands as he draws in a deep breath. "That doesn't fix what happened between us. I need us back where we were before I lost it the other night."

"I had a life before I met you." I finally jump into the conversation full force. "It didn't involve bedding all the chefs in Manhattan."

He looks at me, his eyes searching. "I was out of line. You have every right to be pissed off at me."

I arch a brow. "You're right. I do."

"I want you all to myself, Cadence." His voice is deep, husky. "I get that you had a life before you met me. It's hard to not think about that."

"I can't erase my past."

"I know," he says quietly. "I can't erase mine either."

I'm tempted to ask about his past, specifically Neela. I want to know how long they were together and if he loved her, but I can't ask him that. If I do it gives him carte blanche to ask for more details about me and Brendon and that's a door that is now permanently closed and nailed shut.

"You really hurt me, Tyler," I whisper. "Some of those things you said are hard to forget."

"I know." He moves closer to me. "Let me show you that I can do better, Cadence. Give me a chance to do that."

"You can't keep dwelling on my relationship with Brendon." I drop my hand to my hip. "You have to accept that it happened and that it's over."

"I can do that." His arms cross over his chest. "I can do whatever it takes to make things right between us."

"Don't let my past ruin this." I stare into his eyes. "What happened the other night can't happen again, Tyler. If it does, this part of our relationship is over."

"I understand." His gaze is fierce as he closes the distance between us. "I'll keep my jealousy in check. I'll show you that I'm a better man than that."

"I believe that you're a better man than that."

"I'll prove to you that I am. You have my word."

I reach up to touch his chin with my hand. "It hurt too much, Tyler. It worries me that you can hurt me that much."

"Don't." He eases me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. "I promise it won't happen again. Let me show you how good I can be for you."

He places the food in front of me. The aroma of garlic instantly assaults me. It's so strong that my eyes start to tear up.

"Chef?" I look at the deep bowl filled with handmade pasta and tomato sauce. "How much garlic did you put in this?"

"Just enough." He points at the linen napkin and fork that are next to the bowl. "What are you waiting for, Cadence? Take a bite."

"Do you plan on kissing me when I leave tonight, Tyler?"

"You're planning on leaving tonight?" He shifts on his feet. "I want to make love to you. Do you want to wait before we do that again?"

My body doesn’t want to wait. My heart needs to. I agreed to meet him at his place for dinner and nothing more. I need to venture back into this with a shielded heart. Tyler has the power to cut straight into me with his words. I have to keep my guard up right now and when he's ramming his perfect cock into me, that's hard. 

"I'm going home after dinner," I say without hesitation. "I don't want to rush back into things too quickly."

"We’re doing this at your pace." He leans down to kiss the top of my head. "I'll only rush you to eat. The food is going to get cold before you take your first bite."

I can only hope that if it gets too cold that he'll discard it and make it again without an entire head of garlic. Tyler is liberal with his seasonings. I noticed that during my first shift at Nova. I had to shadow Darrell and as I watched him prepare a lamb ragout, I was stunned by the amount of fresh herbs he added to the dish. He wasn't shy with the garlic either, but when I tasted the final creation I was blown away by the balance of flavors.

The garlic wasn't overpowering that day though. I can't say the same as I lean down to inhale the scent of this dish.

"I need you to trust me, Cadence." He crouches next to me. "We're going to start with food. Take a bite. I promise you'll be surprised by how good it is."

I rest my hand on his cheek. Earlier, when we were at Nova's new location, I told him that I wanted to go home. He didn't argue the point. He asked me about dinner and after I accepted, with the stipulation that I bring the wine, he hailed a cab for me and kissed me softly on my forehead. He didn’t press me to stay. He quietly apologized again and told me he couldn't wait to see me tonight.

"I think you're a wonderful chef." I tilt my chin toward the bowl. "This has too much garlic though."

He reaches past me to grab the linen napkin. With a quick flick of his wrist, it's open. He drapes it carefully across the white fabric of my skirt. It's a skirt that Sophia made me for. I chose it, and the matching sheer white sleeveless blouse, before I realized that Tyler expected me to eat pasta. I can only hope that the outfit makes it through dinner still looking the way it does now.

I wait as he carefully twirls a ribbon of sauce covered noodle onto the fork. He cradles his hand below it as he guides it toward my mouth. "Open for me."

I shiver at the words and the way he looks at me when he says them. I do as I'm told. I open my mouth and let him feed me.

I close my eyes as soon as the sauce touches my tongue. I breathe in as I chew slowly, savoring each bite. I swallow just as my eyes pop open.

"You're a genius, Chef."

He scoops up the bowl in his palm and shovels a forkful of food into his own mouth. He chews as he winks at me. "I told you to trust me. This is good, right?"

"It's so much better than good." I point at my mouth. "Can I have another bite please?"

His brow darts up before he thoughtfully feeds me again. "I love watching you eat, Cadence. You look almost as beautiful when you're enjoying a meal as when you're enjoying my body."

I lick my bottom lip, capturing the last remnants of the delectable sauce. "Your body is seriously hot."

"Feel free to stay and enjoy it. It's all for you."

I look down to where the light blue dress shirt he's wearing is opened, revealing a hint of his toned chest. It would be easy to fall back into his bed. It would help ease the tension between us but I'd hate myself as soon as I was home alone in bed with just my thoughts.

I know he feels badly for what happened between us the other night. I can tell that he genuinely wants to put it behind us, but his piercing words were like a slap across my face and until I can push them into the recesses of my mind, I need to keep my panties on.

"I can't stay but maybe we can have dinner together again soon?"

"You tell me when and I'll cook ." He leans forward to brush his lips across my cheek. "I'll take every minute with you I can get."

"So you're telling me that Brendon has given up?" Sophia pins the hem of a red dress that she asked me to try on as soon as I woke up. "I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it. I think he finally got the message." I lean forward to look at the skirt of the dress. It's pleated and pretty but the hem is short and Sophia keeps raising it. "Do you expect me to wear this somewhere in particular?"

"I just need this one for my portfolio." She taps my knee. It's become a silent signal for me to inch forward. "You can wear it almost anywhere as long as you don't bend forward."

I laugh. "I'll just where it when I'm here or when I go over to Tyler's place."

"Things are better between you two?" She rears back, her eyes squinting as she surveys the hem. "I think it looks straight."

I don't make a move to look down because I know it will throw the skirt askew and she'll give me shit for it. I've learned how to be the perfect human mannequin for Sophia. I stand still when she's eyeing the hem. If I don't, I'll get yelled at. It's as simple as that.

"Things are good between us," I say quietly. "Tyler wants to make amends for what happened. He feels like a jerk for what he said to me."

She looks up. "What happened between him and that Neely girl?"
"Neela?"

She doesn't pay any mind to the subtle correction. "Why did they break up?"

I shrug. "We haven't talked about her."

We haven't. It's been two days since I had dinner at Tyler's apartment. I'd left after we ate, strong in my resolve not to climb back into his bed. Since then we've talked on the phone twice and shared a few dozen text messages. He's busy, working on the details for the rebuilding of the restaurant.

"What do you know about her?"

If I'm going to answer my best friend honestly, I know a lot about Neela, including her last name. Neela Norman is twenty-six. She's a senior chef at a restaurant in Boston. She's beautiful, just as I expected she'd be. We couldn't be more different physically. She's petite, with black hair and almond shaped blue eyes.

There were dozens of images of her online. Some of her in a chef's jacket, but many of them were taken when she was vacationing in the south of France with an A list actor a couple of months ago. Neela has definitely moved on judging by the way she was clinging to the man in the pictures.

"She works in Boston and she's dating an actor." I glance down at her. "I don't need to know any more than that."

"Dating is good," she says softly. "I'm glad she lives in Boston. The farther Tyler's ex is away from him, the better."

I don't disagree even if I've never viewed Neela as a threat. "She's obviously established there. She's got a great job."

"Let's hope she doesn’t pull a Brendon and decide that she suddenly wants him back." She laughs.

I smile, unable to even bring a chuckle up from my knotted gut. I don't want her to ever come back. There were only two pictures online of her and Tyler together. They were both taken at a restaurant opening here in Manhattan more than a year ago. His arm was draped around her waist, her eyes turned up to meet his. The expression on his face said it all. He loved her when those photographs were taken and judging by the diamond engagement ring that was on her left hand then, she loved him too. 

***

"Isn't that Tyler's tablet?"

Maribel's voice breaks through my daydreams about Tyler. I was thinking about the way he looked the first time we made love.  I look up at her. I hadn't heard her come into Nova's new location. I look around, suddenly aware that the space is filling up with people. "It's his tablet."

"Why do you have it?" She scratches the back of her head. "Chef guards that thing with his life."

I smile softly. "I'm just holding it for him. I'm giving it back to him today."

"He's not here yet?" She assesses the space, letting her gaze circle the room. "I thought he would be here by now."

I did too. We're scheduled to go live in less than thirty minutes with Percy and Pamela.

Tyler called me last night to remind me to get to the location on time.  He was exhausted. I could hear it in his voice. It's not surprising. He's been working alongside Hunter from dawn until dusk every day trying to ready Nova for the grand re-opening.

Their hard work is paying off. The space has been framed and drywall now separates the dining room from the rest of the restaurant. The kitchen is where most of the work has been done.

I could see Tyler's touch in every aspect of the new design. The appliances are all high end, the prep stations relegated to one area. It's not a mirror image of what Nova used to be. This kitchen is crafted to help all of us do our jobs efficiently and comfortably.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon." I wave to Percy, the co-host of the show, when I see him walk through the front door. "Otherwise, we'll have to share the spotlight with each other."

She doesn't even crack a smile at my attempted joke. "I was so nervous last time. He helped me get through it. If Tyler doesn't show up, I'm not doing it."

"He'll be here," I say quietly, hoping I'm right. There's no way in hell I'm going on national television by myself.