Sparked (The Metal Bones Series Book 1) (27 page)

“They released me?” I whispered.

The girl who didn’t get away, suddenly got away. They let her walk away.

“I saw,” he said.

I shuddered. “What do you mean, you saw?”
Did you see everything? The ceremony?

“Vienna, I’m so sorry. I—”

“Shh,” I said, wanting to take away his pain and curled his head into my embrace. “I want you to know it was my fault. I called my parents right before they caught us. They must have tracked us that way. It was my fault, not yours.”

“Where’d you find a phone?”

“Peach,” I said, leaning my head on top of his. “So don’t blame yourself anymore.”

He scooped me up and settled us onto the bed together. I caressed his beautiful tan face and midnight silky black hair and tried to memorize every single one of his features, his nose, his dancing eyes, the strand of hair that never wanted to stay in place, his beautiful scar. My fingers traced over everything, following my eyes’ path.

He edged away from me when my fingers skimmed his white scar.

“It’s beautiful,” I said. “Why do you always cover it?”

“Because I don’t like what it reminds me of,” he said. “I don’t like going back there. And I don’t want to remember.”

“I don’t see that when I look at it. I see victory. I see healing and love. Your crew loves you so much. You should allow the reminder to take you there.”

I pressed kisses along his jaw, at the beginning of the fine white scar and this time, he closed his eyes and let me continue.

“You always find a way to make something seem beautiful, you know that?” His hands fisted in my damp hair as my kisses followed the scar down his neck. “I’m yours, Vienna,” he whispered, “I’ve always been.”

I followed the scar along the ridges of his arm, along the ridges of his hand, and down to his middle finger. I pressed my lips against the tip of his finger, against the end of his scar. “You can let it be a symbol of those who love you and have stood by you.”

He smiled. “They kinda had to.”

“They didn’t kinda have to love you,” I said. “But they did anyways.”

I leaned up and kissed him, soft and sweet, until he couldn’t take it anymore and nudged my head onto his shoulder. He stroked my back and I allowed his warmth to spread through me, relaxing my muscles.

“I’m scared I’ll close my eyes and wake up back in the cell?” I said. Where London still is.

“Even if you do”—he squeezed his arms around me—“you’ll only have to turn your head to see me in the cell, right next to you. I’m not leaving you.”

His skin felt nice and soft and warm and smooth under mine and I couldn’t keep from touching it, tracing my fingers across his chest. “What would happen if they suspected you of trying to help me?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged and my head rode along with the movement. “If they couldn’t take me down when they took you, fully loaded, I don’t know how else they could.”

“I never told them about you or your crew.”

He kissed my head. “And it wouldn’t have mattered even if you did.”

My heart bloomed with love and hope and joy and I smiled against his chest. “How did you find me?”

“I followed the van. Now, no more talking.” He cradled me into him. “We can talk tomorrow. But tonight . . . tonight is ours.”

“Ours,” I whispered, and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 42

Vienna.

Vienna!

She pounded on the concrete gray block walls.
“Vienna!”

“Don’t let them get me,”
she screamed.

Terror blazed in her pale blue eyes. “Vienna,”
she screamed.
“V-i-e-n-n-a!”

“London!” I shrieked, jerking up in the bed. Sweat covered my body. Hair plastered to my face. The soaked sheets twisted around my legs.

“London,” I gasped, “London.”

“Baby . . .” Alec smoothed the hair from my face. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

“I just—I just . . . left her there.” I rocked back and forth, her wild blue eyes shining in my mind. “She’s still there. While I just walked away. And left her.”

“Baby, you were in no position to save anyone.”

“I didn’t even try to save her.” I imagined her crawling out of a hole, wheezing and crying. “I all but got Paula killed.” I clutched my knees to my chest. “And Dean. And now her.”

Alec muttered calming things in my ear.

But I couldn’t stop the explosion of words coming from my lips. “They do something to you. They play mind games with you. Trying to-to change you, trying to—”

“Baby.” He shushed me and wrapped me into his chest. “Nothing is your fault. You told me to stop blaming myself. Now I’m telling you to stop blaming yourself.”

I hiccupped against his chest. “But don’t you see, I could have tried. I should have tried. I could have bargained.”

He laughed, harsh and bitter. “With what? These are not bargaining people, Vienna.” He tilted up my chin, forcing me to look into his dark-green eyes. “There was absolutely nothing, and I mean
nothing
, you could have done.” His thumbs stroked my cheeks. “Nothing, baby. You had no control over anything they did. Do you understand me?”

But London . . .

“Do you understand me? Nothing.”

“It’s not right to leave her there. To leave any of them there.” I buried my nose into his chest. “She looks like me.”

He stroked my hair. “I know, baby. I know.” Alec tugged me up. “Come on, baby. Let’s go for a ride.”

I had my parka zipped all the way up, heater on, and windows down. Cold air blasted on our faces as Alec drove, turning my nose red.

I took my gloves off and ran my fingers across the vents. The clock flashed, two A.M.

“How are Bonnie, Bear, Kyle, and Peach doing?” I asked. “Have they been okay?”

“As well as can be expected.”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“We can talk about it all you want tomorrow. Remember”—he smiled and it dethawed my heart. I didn’t realize how much I loved seeing him happy—“tonight is ours.”

“Tonight is ours,” I repeated and lifted my face to the window. “Any idea where we’re going?”

His warmth extinguished the lingering frost in the car and overpowered the frosted breeze riding in the car. “Anywhere we can get some food into your system.”

“I’m not hungry.” My fingers twitched in my lap.

“You will be.”

We pulled into the drive-through lane and I ordered an oatmeal and salad. My stomach felt better the moment something warm and solid streamed into it. We parked the car, and I kicked my feet up on the dashboard as I ate. We talked and laughed and it almost made me forget about the things that happened and everything I left behind, almost.

But nothing would ever be the same again.

It couldn’t be.

When we reached the top of the motel steps, I looked out to where the government building was, somewhere in the distance, holding my cousin captive, holding so many innocent people captive.

“Staring out at the sky won’t bring them back.” Alec’s voice carried on the wind. And I wished it was me and not his words flying through the wind, to them and to London. “But it will get you sick. Come inside.”

Even if I could fly through the wind, I don’t know if it would carry me all the way anyways.

Alec caught my hand, turning me to his soft glassy eyes and disheveled hair. I ran my fingers through it, so silky, so real, so beautiful.

He tugged my hand away from his hair and steered us back to our room.

Alec clicked the TV on, folded back the sheets, and patted the bed. I shrugged off my parka, climbed in and molded myself into his body. So warm. He draped the covers over us and the guilt at leaving them started to drift away. But not fully.

“Even though you know there was nothing more you could have done”—I nestled against his shoulder—“it still doesn’t make it feel any better.” I pressed my lips together. “Does it?”

His fingers made circles arching down my back and he rested his chin on my head. “You keep trying . . . until it is good enough. Until it
will
be good enough. That’s the only thing that kept me going, baby, was trying to get you back.” 

Full lips caressed my forehead, and I opened my eyes.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Alec said and the sunlight hit just the right spot to make the green sparkle in his eyes.

“Good morning,” I croaked.

“How’d you sleep?”

I scrunched the pillow under my head. “Way better than I should have.”

“Why do you say that?” He brushed strands of hair away from my face.

“Because I left them there—in that place.”

“How many times do I have to tell you?”

I shook my head. “I can’t.” I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. “I can’t let go of knowing I left her there.”

“She’s awake. I heard them.” Kyle’s voice carried through the door. “Can we say hi now?”

Kyle bounded into the room and ran straight for me. He scooped me up in his arms. “You’re back,” he said into my hair. “You’re okay.”

“She’s awake?” Bonnie pounced in the room after him. “And why didn’t anyone tell me?” Bonnie surrounded me in her hug.

“Maybe because she just woke up,” Alec said and tugged me back into his arms. “And no, Kyle, you can’t come in now. She just woke up.”

“You need to be quicker with that, my friend.” Kyle snapped his fingers. “Much quicker.”

“Oh, we’ve missed you so much.” Bonnie’s lip quivered and her voice shook. “I did.”

Oh Bonnie.

“I’m here now,” I said and squeezed her hand. “I’m here.”

My words remind me of Paula, with her almond brown eyes.

Traitor!

That’s the past. It’s over now, Vienna.

“Welcome back,” Peach said and I swallowed the memory to see Peach leaning against the doorway.

“We missed you, kid.” Bear stepped around Peach and entered. “It wasn’t the same around here without you.”

“It really wasn’t,” Bonnie whispered.

“No,” Peach agreed. “It wasn’t.” My pale green eyes held her solid blue ones and she nodded at me, then walked away.

My eyes widened to fully rounded circles.

Shock would be putting it mildly.

What in the world happened while I was away? My jaw felt like it was going to be permanently glued to the floor. My eye even felt like it was ticking. Did Peach just give me her nod of approval?

No. It couldn’t be.

“And we have food for you.” Bonnie said. “We bought a ton.” She smiled so wide, her eyes almost disappeared. It even looked real.

“Bagels. Cereal. Wraps. Burgers. Everything! Come on.” Bonnie grabbed my hand causing Alec’s arm to slip from my waist, and I was towed into the other room. “Pick whatever you like.”

The small table was flooded with food, and my stomach did flip-flops, churning what little was inside over and over. I picked up an apple and let my fingers trail over the smooth green skin.

“Please don’t tell me that’s all you’re eating.” Bonnie put her hands on her hips.

“We went out last night,” Alec said from behind me, “and she ate plenty.”

I nodded.

“What? You tell me this after I buy pounds of food. What are we supposed to do with all this now?”

“I’ll eat it,” I said. Eventually. Hopefully.

“You’re back. You’re here. And that’s all . . .” Bonnie swallowed. “That’s all I ever wanted.” She threw her arms around me and the apple slipped from my hand to the floor. “It was hell here without you,” she whispered in my ear, “absolute hell.”

“They released me,” I said, my body numb and the words empty and distant.

Why?

“I can’t believe it.” She shook her head, her soft curls bounced against my ear. “Alec got his second chance. He got you back.”

I felt everything that Bonnie wasn’t saying.

The pain. The loss. The emptiness.

“You had him”—I stroked her back—“for that wonderful time. You had him, Bonnie. He wouldn’t have wanted this. He wouldn’t. Don’t do that to him. Live the life he would have wanted you to live.”

“I miss him ev-every . . .” She dissolved into tears and shook against me, her fingers tightening around my shoulders. “Every day.”

I pressed my lips together. How was I supposed to comfort someone in this amount of pain? How was I supposed to make it better? Take away her loss? Make it bearable?

“And you should.” I held her to me. “And you should.”

She broke apart in my arms and I held her, sinking us to the floor. Her hot tears trailed down my shirt. I held her as her grief raged through her, as her pain claimed her, as her mind abandoned her, as his memories tore at her heart. As her love for Steve railed against her body, as her body collapsed at the excruciating sorrow, as the void she opened inside herself stayed empty.

I stayed.

I held on to her.

And when we opened our eyes, it was the two of us.

Me. And. Her.

“I want him back,” she whispered.

I rocked her back and forth in our embrace on the carpet.

“I wish I could have had just one more moment . . . just one more.” Her fingers absentmindedly fiddled with my hair. “I would have told him how much I loved him. How much he meant to me. How much he . . .”

“He knows,” I said, “there’s no way he couldn’t know.”

“I love him.”

“I know.”

“I’ll never stop loving him.”

What do I say?

“And you . . .” I closed my eyes. “. . . you never should.”

Her arms reached for something and she held it up in front of me. “Your apple?”

I took it from her, the smooth rubbery skin tight against my fingertips. “Like I’m hungry anymore.”

She laughed and more tears streamed down her face. “Eat it. Or Alec will kill me.”

I rolled my eyes. “I rather doubt that.” I took a bite anyways. The liquid ran down my chin.

“You have no idea how awful it was without you,” Bonnie said. “Everything . . . everything Peach feared would happen, happened.”

I choked and coughed on the piece I had bitten. “W . . . what,” I stuttered and smacked my chest. “What happened?”

“He was uncontrollable, inconsolable. He couldn’t hear us, he couldn’t bear us. He was filled”—she shook—“with an all-consuming loss. He ran after you when they took you, the entire way. From the moment the van tore off he raced after you, all the way from Texas to Virginia.”

My heart galloped in my chest, thundering in my head. “I don’t understand. Alec—”

“He didn’t even answer our phone calls until the next morning after you were taken.” Bonnie stared at the carpet. “Everyone was worried sick. No one knew what happened. We had all been attacked and thought Alec didn’t make it. We thought
you
didn’t make it.” She swallowed. “And he was filthy when we finally found him, caked in mud and snow, blisters all along his feet. He had set up camp beside the building. He was lost in you, Vienna, formulating plan after plan, having all of us run checks on the perimeters, counting guards. He had Peach flying around the whole place, trying to see if she was fast enough to get through the doors. He mutated into a destructive beast every time someone found a flaw in the plan. Peach and him . . .” Bonnie shook her head. “I’m surprised Peach even lived.”

My eyes widened. “What? Why?”

“He almost killed her.”

If I wasn’t already sitting down, I would have dropped. Like dead weight.

“No.” I covered my mouth. “He-he wouldn’t. Alec—”

“Peach started refusing to run checks on the base. She thought Alec was being reckless.” Bonnie’s eyes blurred. “Their fights were the only thing that . . .” Her voice strained. “They were the only thing that brought me out of the darkness.”

How much had I cost them? What had I done to them? 

“Vienna?” Alec opened the connector door. “You guys doing better? I wanted to give you guys—” His voice faltered as he saw Bonnie’s tears. “Bonnie?”

She hiccupped and more tears drifted down her face.

“Alec, I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out of her. “I’m sorry for what I put you through with Steve. I blanked out on you, when everyone needed me. And now, especially now.” She rocked back and forth, her curls along with her. “I blanked out on you again with Vienna.”

“Bonnie.” Alec’s shoulders slumped. “I should never have put you in. I thought it would help—be a distraction—but now,”—he ran his hands through his hair—“I understand. I just . . . I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to help you.”