Special Delivery: Special Delivery, Book 1 (38 page)

The arms came closer around him still, and Mitch’s kiss burrowed deeper into his hair. “That you already have.”

Sam wanted to sob, and part of him thought he should and would have to later, but right now he wanted to be in control, so he fought himself until he could speak again. “I have to go. I have to go back and face what I left. I have to finish school. I have to…” He clenched his fists and released them. “I have to grow up.”

“For the record, you’re more grown up right now, I think, than I am. But I know what you mean. You gotta finish what you started.”

“I don’t want to. But I have to.”

There was a pause, and then Mitch said, “Do you want me to come with you?”

Sam lifted his head and studied his lover.

Mitch meant it, Sam could tell, and it touched him. Mitch really would drive around Iowa instead of cross-country. He would live in Middleton for Sam. Maybe, just maybe, Mitch wouldn’t mind being tied down.

At least for a while.

With great reluctance, Sam shook his head. “I mean—I do want you to come. But you’d try to fix things I need to fix myself.”

“Sunshine, you don’t get points for doing everything on your own. Trust me on this one. You end up lonely.”

“But I need to learn
how
to be on my own. I need to get my own apartment. I need to make sure I have the right job. I need to figure out how to pay for school and not let myself get caught up in my aunt and uncle’s issues. I need to show
myself
I can do this.” Sam felt heavy as he placed his hand on Mitch’s chest. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m being stupid again.”

“You aren’t being stupid,” Mitch said, with heavy regret. “You’re being smart. Smarter, in this case, than me.” He tipped Sam’s chin up and gazed at him with sorrow. “I will miss you, Sam Keller.”

The threatening tears finally won, and Sam let them fall. “
Mitch.
”

“Hush.” Mitch nuzzled Sam’s nose and nipped at it. “And I believe I warned you about using that word.”

Stupid.
Sam half-laughed, half-cried. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I think I found the perfect punishment.”

Mitch kissed him thoroughly, and when Sam wrapped his arms around Mitch’s neck, Mitch pushed them slowly back against the table, knocking the remainder of their picnic and the last of the champagne to the ground. He laid Sam onto the sheet and knelt over him, pausing only briefly to tuck something into his back pocket. Then he smiled at Sam sadly and kissed him again.

They made epic love that night. They started on the table, then moved to the grass. They had an interlude at Old Blue, where they necked on the floor, and finally they ended up on the bed.

“Undress for me,” Mitch whispered, and Sam did, slowly at first, and as Mitch’s eyes darkened, he moved faster, but he fumbled. Mitch reached out to him, drawing him close, and he took over, shedding Sam’s jeans and socks and underwear.

Sam cried out as Mitch kissed his chest, trailing his tongue down his sternum, leaving a moist path across his skin as he drifted toward Sam’s navel and on to his groin. Sam clutched at Mitch’s head as he took Sam into his mouth, but it wasn’t long before Sam pushed Mitch against the bed, straddling him backward over his chest to aim his mouth at Mitch’s belt buckle. He gasped when Mitch sucked him, fumbling with Mitch’s zipper until he’d freed him too, and then he bent, aching, to take Mitch into his mouth.

He kept his eyes open, drinking in the sight of Mitch’s cock, long and pink and ridged with veins he knew so well, and Sam’s chest tightened as he realized this might be the last time he ever looked at it again. He memorized every plane of Mitch’s body, reviewing every part of him with eyes and mouth and hands, his head spinning and soul aching, because he could not imagine being without this man, not for a minute.

How?
A sob mixed with his orgasm as Mitch thrust inside him. How was he supposed to let him go?

When they were both sated, Sam wrapped himself tight around Mitch and held on as if he meant to never let go.

“Wake me in the morning with you,” he whispered into the hair of Mitch’s chest. “Wake me up as soon as you are.”

“I will,” Mitch promised, and he did, as the sun was rising. They drank coffee together, nibbled on leftover steak for breakfast, took showers, kissed a little more on the bed, had sex again, and when there was nothing left to do, they were on the road for the last time. By noon, they were in Omaha, and Sam watched with a strange mixture of emotions as they crossed the Missouri and the sign on the bridge read,
Welcome to Iowa.

By three, they were heading north to Middleton.

Mitch took him all the way into town, past the truck stop where he’d parked on their first date, down the hill into downtown, past the pharmacy and up into the developments. Sam watched it all as if through water, not believing he was back, unable to let himself think about the fact that Mitch was about to go. But at last Mitch admitted he couldn’t go any farther with the rig, and he parked Old Blue in the place Sam had first seen it, on the highway at the bottom of Cherry Hill.

It took Sam an hour to get out of the semi.

They sat on the bed awhile, kissing and embracing, and then, inevitably, they made love one more time. When they were done, Sam reached over to the floor, fished in his pocket and took out his phone and the charger. He handed them to Mitch. “I want you to keep Judy.”

“I can’t keep your cell phone.”

“You use it all the time. You use it more than I ever did. You need one, and really, I don’t. I never did. I just wanted it.” He pressed it into Mitch’s hand. “I like the idea of knowing you have it.”

“But it’s your phone. You pay for the plan.”

Sam shrugged. “I’ll get a pay-as-you-go. It’s all I need.”

Mitch grimaced, and Sam got ready to duke this one out, but all of a sudden Mitch relented. He got up, went to the front of the rig and came back with his own cell. “I’ll take it, but you have to take mine, then, in exchange.”

Sam took it gingerly.
Mitch’s phone.
He was truly ridiculous, but he knew with this he’d never miss Judy.
Why am I leaving him again?
He cleared his throat. “What about your work numbers?”

“I never entered them. They’re all in a book. Nobody calls me, but if they do, you can text them on to me.” He held up the iPhone. “You sure you want to give this up?”

“Three people text me, Mitch, and I’ll see them all in the next twenty-four hours.” His stomach knotted, and he wrapped his arms around his chest.

Mitch sat beside him and rubbed his back. “Why don’t I stay in town for a few days, to make sure you’re settled?”

The idea was so tempting. “Don’t you have to get to Chicago?”

He shrugged. “It’ll only be a fine. It doesn’t matter.” Sam heard the unspoken,
not the way you do.

Even as the yearning filled him, Sam shook his head. “It’ll just be harder.” Sorrow rose up and choked him, and he leaned into the warmth of Mitch’s body.

Mitch held him. “You only have to call me, Sam, and I’ll come. And you have to call me when you know what you want, even if it’s to say goodbye. Obviously it’s not what I want, but this isn’t about me.”

“Why isn’t it?” Sam was starting to get confused on this point. “Why is it only up to me? Why can’t I ask what you want?”

“Because you’re the one who’s twenty-one, Sunshine. You’re the one whose whole life has turned crazy and who doesn’t know where to set it down now. Everything you said to me last night is true. But me, it’s all the same. There’s just you or not you. I’ll wait to see which it is.”

“That doesn’t sound fair.”

Mitch chuckled into his hair. “That, Sunshine, is life.”

They held each other a little longer, swaying softly side to side. They kissed again, so tenderly it nearly broke Sam’s heart. Then, at last, it was time to go.

Mitch helped him down, fussed over his pack and asked him if he had everything. “Your glass box,” he said, starting inside.

Sam stopped him. This part took serious courage. “No. I want you to take it with you.”

Mitch stilled. “You said that reminded you of your mom.”

Sam’s throat was so thick. “I put the rest of her inside. I want you to take her with you, to see the country. Let her ride along and soak it all up. Maybe take her out sometimes and let her see something pretty. She’ll have so much more fun than sitting on a mantle or a dresser.”

Mitch kissed him once more, and when he started to pull away, Sam stopped him, leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “I love you.”

Mitch stilled, gripped him tight and kissed his cheek. “I love you too.”

People in nearby yards and in cars passing by were watching them, people Sam knew. He didn’t care, not when Mitch took him into a fierce embrace, or when he tweaked his ass, or when he pressed their foreheads together as they both fought off tears. He didn’t care what they saw, not anymore. He hoped he never would again.

“Goodbye, Sam.” Mitch stroked his cheek. “Call me soon.”

Sam couldn’t say anything, only screamed silently inside his head as he stood on the hill of his hometown, watching the man he loved drive away.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Coming home was both harder and easier than Sam imagined, and most of what happened after Mitch left surprised the hell out of him.

His aunt and uncle, as he knew they would be, were furious. Delia was, anyway. Norm sat at his computer, as usual. Sam didn’t let Delia go on her tirade. He interrupted her to say he knew she was right, at least in part, and that he intended to move out as soon as he could find a place to live. He also gave notice for his job, giving them the option to fire him now for not showing up for ten days or asking him to work for two weeks to make up for his absence. But he had no choice on the money for school.

“There isn’t anything I can do,” he explained as patiently and as calmly as he could. “They offered me a few scholarships, and I intend to take them, but there’s no way I can get loans from anyone because of the tax thing, because of your income. It’s a dumb rule, but no matter what, they said they can’t bend it. I talked to the bank too, hoping maybe we could work something out, but honestly, that’s a no-go as well. And I know you don’t like this, but I want to go full-time this fall. I want to finish, Delia. I want to move on with my life. I want to see things and do things. I can’t do that if I’m living in your basement, taking so long to get through school I’m gray-haired by the time I get out.” He sighed. “So I don’t know what we do, but I’m open to ideas. I’ve turned everything I can think of inside out.”

Delia sputtered, cycling through her old talking points, and Sam’s heart was heavy, knowing that though he’d done his best, nothing here had changed. And then, suddenly, it was completely different.

Uncle Norm turned away from his computer. “I’ll cut you a loan.”

Delia gasped, but Norm ignored her.

“I’ll find out what the rates are at the bank, and I’ll match them. I won’t collect until you have your first job, and we can work out payments then, but I will collect, so plan accordingly. Write me up a list of what you need for school, and books, and
moderate
living estimates. Then I’ll write it up with my lawyer, and I’ll cut you a check. Oh, and as for apartments, you can have your pick of any of ours.”

“
Norman.
” Delia sat down. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing. But this is the most adult he’s ever been, and if we don’t reward him for that, he’ll never become a man. And he’ll never leave the basement.” He looked at Sam over the top of his glasses. “The other part of the bargain, however, is that you will continue to work in the pharmacy. And if you’re serious about it, I’ll give you more hours as a tech, which is more money and better practice for school.”

“Okay,” Sam said, a little blown away. Delia stared at Norm, mouth gaping, but Sam sensed the audience was over and went to the basement.

He ended up moving in with Emma after all.

She’d hugged him in a flying tackle when he went over to her house to ask her—walking, because his car was still impounded from being left by the side of the road—and she asked him to tell her everything about the trip. He told her as much as he could, but he edited a lot, not because he was embarrassed, but because it was private, and it was still tender. He steered her to talk of the apartment instead, and within three hours they were touring one on the hill to downtown.

By Monday, they’d signed for it, and by the end of the next week, they were moving in.

He worked hard all the rest of the summer until classes started in August, and by then he had quite a bit of money saved, even with rent, and he ended up taking almost a thousand off his estimate for Uncle Norm. He paid his tuition in full, and he went to class full-time, and when Keith Jameson gave him a leer, Sam waved and walked on by. Darin followed him around a while, but eventually he latched on to a slightly overweight first-year student who, by all accounts, not only held out on him until he cleaned up his apartment for real this time, but also got him to turn in enough homework to pass.

Things were looking up for Emma too, as by the end of August she and Straight Steve the Pharmacist were dating.

It turned out his hesitation was because Delia had warned him he wouldn’t be kept on if he dated the techs. When Emma heard this, she nearly quit, but Steve told her not to, promising that if it came to it,
he’d
quit, because pharmacist jobs were thick on the ground even in Iowa, and he could get a job anywhere. They started to date, Delia decided to become blind as far as their relationship was concerned, and the next thing Sam knew Steve was practically living with them. He really was a nice guy, and he was good for Emma. He liked seeing her so happy.