Spencer Cohen Series, Book Two (The Spencer Cohen Series 2)

THE SPENCER COHEN SERIES

BOOK TWO

By

N.R. Walker

Cover Artist: Sara York

Editor: DJ Mack

Proofreaders: Jay Northcote, Kristyn Shanahan.

Spencer Cohen Series © 2016 N.R. Walker

Publisher: BlueHeart Press

All Rights Reserved:

This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments, events or locales is coincidental.

The Licensed Art Material is being used for illustrative purposes only.

All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Warning:

Intended for an 18+ audience only. This book contains material that maybe offensive to some and is intended for a mature, adult audience. It contains graphic language, explicit sexual content, and adult situations.

The author uses Australian English spelling and grammar.

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

DreamWorks: DreamWorks Animation SKG, Inc.

Google: Google, Inc.

iPod: Apple Inc.

Facebook: Facebook, Inc.

Honda: Honda Motor Co., Ltd.

Tylenol: McNeil Consumer Healthcare Division of McNEIL-PPC, Inc.

Advil: Wyeth LLC

A Clockwork Orange
: 1971, Warner Bros.

Blade Runner
: 1982, Warner Bros.

How to Train Your Dragon
: DreamWorks Animation, Paramount Pictures

How to Train Your Dragon 2
: DreamWorks Animation, Paramount Pictures

Shrek
: DreamWorks Animation, DreamWorks Pictures

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
: 1975, EMI Films

When Harry Met Sally
: 1989, Columbia Pictures.

Seven
: 1995, New Line Cinema.

Punk’d
: BET Interactive, LLC

The Standard: Standard International Management, LLC.

Oscars: Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences

Emmys: Academy of Television Arts & Sciences and the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (Television Academy/NATAS)

Ray Charles: The Ray Charles Foundation

Jeff Buckley: Jeff Buckley Music Inc.

Nina Simone: The Estate of Nina Simone

Bill Withers: Still Bill Productions

Miles Davis: Miles Davis Properties, LLC

Percy Sledge: Atlantic Records

Aretha Franklin: Aretha Franklin, Sony Music Entertainment

Led Zeppelin: LED ZEPPELIN

Family Feud: FremantleMedia North America, Inc.

CBS: CBS Broadcasting Inc.

BBC:  British Broadcasting Corporation

Barnes & Noble: Barnes & Noble, Inc.

Hasbro: Hasbro, Inc.

Milton Bradley: Milton Bradley Co., subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc

Xanax: Pharmacia & Upjohn Company

“Hallelujah”: Written by Leonard Cohen, performed by Jeff Buckley. Columbia Records

Moonlight Sonata
: Written by Ludwig Van Beethoven

“The Impossible Dream”: Written by Joe Darion for 1965 Broadway musical
Man of La Mancha

This series is dedicated to every Spencer out there: for those who have lost everything but still have hope, for those too afraid to love again but crave it all the same, for those who have been through hell yet are still strong enough to smile, and for those who wear their scars inked into their skin.

I was nervous. I was also hungover, but my adrenaline was pumping, my heart was pounding, my palms were sweating, but in that totally exciting, this-is-really-happening kind of way. Andrew looked at me and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind that I slept on your couch?”

“No, not at all,” I replied quickly. “I’m glad you did. I’m sorry about last night.” It was about the fifth time I’d apologised. “I don’t normally drink like that.”

“Emilio told me,” he said. “He came up and knocked on the door to see how you were. You were still asleep, so he told me to come down into the shop. He spent the morning trying to tell me not to be mad at you and that you were one of the good guys.”

I looked at the table between us, feeling a little embarrassed that Emilio had gone into bat for me. Andrew had suggested the Moroccan place I’d taken him to before, and without even asking me what I wanted, he ordered what I’d ordered for him once: a full breakfast of pancakes and khobz b'chehma, coffee for him, and green tea for me. It filled me with an unfamiliar warmth to know he knew me that well. “Yeah, he and Daniela are good people.”

“He said he’d only ever seen you like that once before,” Andrew said gently. He kept his hands on the table but slid his foot alongside mine. That simple touch was reassuring, yet such an innocent gesture. My stomach flooded with butterflies. “That it was when your brother turned up? Emilio didn’t say anything more than that.”

I swallowed hard and gave him a nod. Thankfully Zineb came to the table with our drinks. It gave me a moment to gather my thoughts. Normally I would deflect the question, and for one split second, I thought of calling veto. But Andrew was different.
This
was different. So I took a deep breath, and although I spoke to my green tea, Andrew listened intently.

“I have two brothers, Lewis and Archie. I’m the eldest, and we’re all two years apart. My youngest brother, Archie, came to visit last year. It didn’t end well.” I cleared my throat. “I um, I’ve been on my own since I was sixteen. My parents kicked me out.”

“Because you’re gay?”

“Yeah.” I looked up at Andrew then to find a look of shock and anger on his face. I gave him a sad smile. “It’s funny you know, I had the best childhood. It really was. Great neighbourhood, good friends, we rode our bikes, played sport. Mum and Dad both worked, but they drove me and my brothers around after school to a bunch of different sports and stuff. We did things together as a family, went camping, had holidays up the coast. I thought I could tell my mum anything.”

“Oh, Spencer,” Andrew whispered. He slid his hand across the table and gave my hand a squeeze. I grabbed hold of his fingers, not wanting to lose that touch, which surprised even me. I hadn’t realised how much I’d needed the contact.

“As it turned out, it was probably something I should have kept to myself.”

“What happened?”

“Mum went kind of quiet. Dad went off. I’d never seen him so mad,” I answered with a shake of my head. “For two days our house was… well, it wasn’t a very nice place to be. When I got home from school on the second day my mum sat me down and told me I had to go.”

“They what?”

“Yep. My things were already packed. Just some clothes and a few school things out of my room. I couldn’t take anything else. Wasn’t allowed. And my old man just sat there and never said a bloody word.”

Andrew’s jaw bulged. “You were sixteen? What did you do?”

I stayed at my friend’s place for a week or so. But then my dad put an end to that by telling my mate’s parents that maybe I’d corrupt their son, and I couldn’t stay there anymore. Spent a few nights in the park before my aunty heard and took me in.”

Andrew took a deep breath and his nostrils flared. “I am so pissed off for you right now.”

“I survived. Actually, I was kind of lucky.”

“Lucky?”

“That I had my Aunt Marvie. She took me in and loved me like a son. She was the only family I had. Actually, she wasn’t my aunty; she was my dad’s aunty, so technically she was my great-aunt Marvie.”

“Was?”

“She passed away last year,” I said quietly, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “I didn’t even know she was sick. Apparently she had been for a while—she would have known when I’d made plans to travel here, and she was all for me to go. She never told me she was sick. She wouldn’t have wanted me to worry. In fact, she was excited for me when I told her I wanted to travel. She gave me some money and told me to have the time of my life.” I sighed. “I only found out she passed away weeks later when the solicitor contacted me about her will. I’d been here for a few months.”

Andrew paled and a wave of sadness washed over his face. “Oh man. Spencer, I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” I sipped my tea and took a moment to get my thoughts in order. It wasn’t easy to talk about this, but it seemed the last few days had reopened the wounds I’d thought I’d managed to heal. I took a shaky breath. “Anyway, I’d been living with Aunt Marvie for about four years—I could have moved out, but she was kinda old and she liked the company, and to be honest, I loved living with her. Anyway, it was my dad’s fiftieth. It was a big party, black tie, that kind of thing. I mean, I wasn’t surprised that I wasn’t invited. I expected nothing less. But he told Aunt Marvie she wasn’t welcome either, and there was a huge family fight. God, my grandmother cried for a week.” I shrugged. “Nan was torn between her sister and her son. I mean, it was just awful. Apparently Dad blamed me for the whole thing. Said it was all my fault because
if I didn’t choose to be gay
,” I imitated his voice, “
then none of this would have happened
.”

Zineb put our food on the table, and obviously detecting the seriousness of our conversation, she didn’t offer anything else but a kind smile.

“Anyway,” I continued, “he told me that in no uncertain terms they now thought of me as dead.”

Andrew’s mouth fell open, and without taking his eyes off me, he slowly put his fork on the table.

“But what hurt the most was not being told Aunt Marvie died. That was low. I mean, I would’ve gone to her funeral… I don’t even know if she had one.” I blinked back those all-telling tears that Andrew had seen too much of in the last two days. I laughed them off. “Man, you must think I’m a blubbering idiot. I haven’t cried this much in, well, over a year.”

He shook his head and squeezed my hand. “Not at all. My God, Spencer, I can’t believe how horrible this is. And then your brother turned up here?”

I nodded. “I hadn’t seen him in years. He’s four years younger than me, so I guess we weren’t that close. I left home when he was twelve, and only saw him a few times in the six years I spent with Aunt Marvie. Anyway, he was here on an end-of-college trip, or so he said. I had no clue he was even coming until he turned up.” I gave Andrew a sad smile. “It’s funny how hope never really goes away. I thought for a second it could be good, you know? But it, well it wasn’t. He gave me what was basically a cease and desist letter from my dad’s attorney. I was to never make contact with them again. See, I’d called them about Aunt Marvie and well, apparently my father didn’t like that. There’s other legal stuff about the family business as well, but yeah, basically I’m to never contact them again.”

Andrew sat there, staring at me with his jaw slack and a flush across his cheeks I think might have been from anger. He stabbed a pancake with his fork. “If it’s all right with you, I think I’d like to hate your family.”

That made me laugh. “You can take a number. That list is long.”

“They really did that to you?”

I nodded. “My brother didn’t know what was in the letter. Well, he said he didn’t, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t blame him for not wanting anything to do with me. He was pretty young when my parents would have brainwashed him, or whatever they did. And I don’t doubt my father made him give the letter to me just to hurt me. He could have just had his solicitor mail it.”

“Have you spoken to him since?”

“No. The solicitor’s letter was pretty clear. It was basically to cut me out of their money. Aunt Marvie left me a fair chunk of cash when she passed away, so I think my parents just wanted to be sure that didn’t happen again when they die. Aunt Marvie had it written in her will that my father couldn’t contest her final wishes because he was a bitter homophobic bastard,” I said with a laugh.

Andrew smiled at that. “She sounds like she was an amazing lady.”

“She was,” I replied simply. “Thank you for saying that.”

“I’m so sorry you had such an awful time. I can’t even imagine going through that.”

“It’s hard to know you’re alone. Like really alone. Sometimes I think it would have been better if they’d died, you know? Like
really
died, in a car accident or something. I’d have closure that way at least. But to be not-wanted, yeah, that was hard.”

Andrew sat back in his seat and sighed. “I had no idea. Though I knew something had happened. Your eyes flinched when I mentioned family, and then you vetoed my question about your tattoos.”

“And I thought I hid it well.”

Andrew smiled, though it was brief. “And I made you watch
How To Train Your Dragon 2
, and the dad died. God, Spencer I am so sorry.”

“You weren’t to know,” I told him. “And to be honest, it kind of blindsided me. I wasn’t expecting it, and I just got barrelled. I didn’t mean to freak on you like that. If I’m being completely honest, I’d been out of sorts all week. You know, some cute guy I was supposed to be working for was doing my head in. I’d spent years not allowing myself to feel anything, and then this guy from the cover of
Sexiest Geek Alive
knocked me on my arse.”

“Oh,” Andrew mumbled quietly. It took him a second to realise I was talking about him. “
Oh
.”

“I’d told myself years ago that I’d never let anyone get close enough to hurt me again,” I admitted quietly. “I have kept myself at a distance from any kind of relationship. But then there was you.”

Andrew blushed and gave me a shy smile.

I had to say this now, or I never would. “And I have to admit Andrew, it scared the hell outta me. I kept thinking I could see myself with you, and that went against everything I’d spent years telling myself. I never wanted to put myself out there, ya know? But then I realised when I left you there with Eli, that I already had. And I thought you chose him, and I was unwanted all over again. So my head was all over the place, with you and my family. I don’t know if that explains why I lost my shit last night, but that’s all I’ve got.”

He looked right at me. “It more than explains it. And you are not unwanted, just so you know. Quite the opposite. You were on the cover of
Trendy Living in LA
, were you not?”

I smiled at his attempt to make me feel better, and it was a nice change from the heavy topic of conversation. “Come on, dig in. Or it’ll get cold, and then Zineb will yell Arabic at us for not liking her food.” I waited for him to have a few bites. “I promise I won’t lose my shit on you again.”

He chuckled around his mouthful of pancake. “Can I ask you something?”

I wasn’t sure what else there was to say. “Sure.”

“You never wanted me to get back with Eli?”

I put my fork down and sipped my tea. Here it was. All or nothing. “No. I didn’t. When you stayed with him in the bar, I thought it was what you wanted. I mean, it was what we worked at. But I hoped. And hope was something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel for a while, I guess. And you know, that dreaded hope can be a dangerous thing. I mean, you were different. From day one, you weren’t like any other guy I’d worked for.” I huffed out a laugh. It was so ridiculous to say this stuff out loud. “And I tried to keep it all separate, but I couldn’t because you see, I have a stupid heart, and a stupid brain, and then we kissed.”

Andrew smiled the eye-crinkling kind of smile. “And by God, you can kiss,” he said. This time it was me who blushed, which he clearly found amusing, or appealing, or possibly both. “And just so you know, it was what did it for me.”

“Kissing me?”

Andrew nodded, and he cleared his throat. “I thought I was fooling myself, thinking we, you know, you could ever be interested in me. I mean, I thought I wanted Eli back, which I can see now was not what I wanted at all. When he left I was missing something. I wanted
something
, I just didn’t know what it was. But it was never Eli. God, you made me realise he didn’t know the first thing about me. And then you kissed me and…” he flushed a full shade of red up his neck, “…and I thought that can’t be part of the act, right?”

I shook my head slowly. “I wasn’t acting.” I shifted in my seat. “In fact, I don’t think I ever was with you.”

He pushed his empty plate away and bit his lip. “So we’re seeing if this goes somewhere? You know, just so we’re on the same page. It doesn’t have to be anything official. I just want to spend time with you.” He frowned. “I tend to get ahead of myself, so if I’m reading this wrong…”

My chest suddenly felt too small for my heart. I let out a nervous laugh. “You aren’t reading this wrong. I just wanna spend time with you too. And I know it’s only early days, but just so you know, I’m not opposed to
official
.” Then I shrugged. “I’m not overly familiar with it either, but if we’re gonna do this, we may as well do it properly, yeah?”