Spiralling Skywards: Falling (Contradictions #1) (22 page)

Her hand slipped inside her cardigan and rested over her flat stomach.

“I thought that by coming over here, I’d be able to convince him that we need to be together, either here or back in Australia. I really don’t mind which, as long as we’re together, but then last night . . .”

Her bottom lip trembled, her eyes once again filled with tears.

“I saw you, Sarah. I saw that he was holding your hand. I watched him let go when he realised I was there, but I saw and watched his reaction when you left. When you took the other guy’s hand, Will was it?”

I nodded.

“When you took Will’s hand and left, Liam looked devastated, and it broke my heart. I knew then the reason he’d ignored my calls and messages. You. My husband is in love with
you
.”

She didn’t say it angrily or accusingly, but she did say it through tears, which she continuously attempted to dab away on her hanky.

Despite the lack of accusation in her tone, I still felt the need to defend myself.

“I didn’t know.” I shook my head and let out a long breath. “He didn’t tell me he was married until Friday, and he never mentioned the baby until after he’d seen you last night, well he never actually told me, I guessed.” My words came out in a whoosh, tumbling over each other.

I didn’t know.

It wasn’t my fault.

I wasn’t like her.

“Last night?” she questioned. “You saw him last night? After you left your brother’s?”

“Yeah, he came here.”

“I see. Well, there you have it, his feelings for you obviously run very deep.”

Not deep enough for him to be honest with me.

She started to cry again.

“I understand now. I won’t fight you for him, Sarah. I’ve already had a few issues with this pregnancy, and I don’t need any more stress in my life.”

“How far along are you?”

Why the fuck did I ask that?

“Just twelve weeks. We never thought it was possible, we tried for two whole years when we were first married, it tore us apart in the end. Funny that it should happen now after everything we’ve been through.”

Yeah, fucking hilarious.

What was even funnier was that Liam had told me none of this. He’d told me they’d both been unfaithful. He never once mentioned that they’d been trying for a baby. “So you won’t be terminating the pregnancy then? If you and Liam don’t get back together, you’ll still go ahead with everything?”

Her eyes widened and she shook her head.

“No, that’s not even – wow, no. That’s not even something I would consider. Despite the circumstances, I’m really looking forward to this baby.”

I didn’t know him. I didn’t know him at all. He’d lied about so much I could hardly process what she was telling me.

I watched while she constantly rubbed her belly with the palm of her hand as she continued.

“I just need to accept that our marriage is truly over. I just wanted to meet you, Sarah, I hope you understand? If you’re going to be a part of my child’s life, I just thought it only right that I got to meet you first.”

I shook my head while she was still speaking.

“No. We’re done. Liam and I are over. If he doesn’t want to be with you, it has nothing to do with me. We’re not together. We’ve only known each other a month anyway. It was nothing serious, and it’s over now.”

The defensive word vomit spewed from my mouth. While she dabbed at her eyes delicately, I used the sleeve of my hoodie to cuff away my own snot and tears.

“He told me he hadn’t seen you in two years, not until you came to his office the night before he caught his flight to come here. He told me he’d sent you divorce papers, that you’d been served.”

I felt like I was losing control, like I was spiralling and spiralling downwards but instead of the ground coming towards me, it was just more sky. My head spun. I felt sick and I shook.

“Why? Why would he do that? My heart’s broken at his betrayal, but I’ll be honest, I’d still take him back. I love him enough to have him any way I can get him.”

And there it was, exactly the way I’d imagined my mum wanted my dad, was exactly the way Olivia wanted Liam. She’d probably fallen pregnant on purpose, thinking it would win him back, and just like my dad, Liam had walked away. Their child was me. And just like me, their child would grow up with all the insecurities and hang ups that I did and there was absolutely no way I could be a part of that.

I watched as she stood in my kitchen, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

I’d done that. I had caused this woman, this pregnant woman, untold heartbreak.

I needed her to leave. I couldn’t look at her or the devastation that I’d caused. Having her crying in front of me—this woman whose husband I had been sleeping with—was a reminder that I was, in fact, so very much like my mother.

Seven hours of
meetings. Seven fucking hours I spent meeting with prospective clients and explaining the concept behind our new business venture, what our company could offer that others couldn’t, and why they should employ us to recruit and relocate the staff they needed to send to Australia.

I had a black eye, a split lip, and a bruised and swollen jaw. I looked and felt like shit. Luke looked worse. So bad in fact that he’d stayed home and Mel and our new PA, Liz, who we had recently employed had taken notes and done whatever else PAs were supposed to do, assisted me.

Despite the issues going on between them personally, Luke and Mel had so far, kept things strictly business in the office, and it had proved to be a good call on his part to bring her on board.

Her family had owned one of the biggest chains of estate agents across the UK, but had also branched out into overseas acquisitions and property management. Mel had been responsible for that department and knew the industry inside out.

Her family’s business took a hit during the economic downturn which was just beginning to take full effect in the UK that year. Mel happened to be looking for a new job just as we were setting up. We offered her a position and now she would be heading up the team that would hunt for properties to either rent or purchase for the families we would be relocating.

Our long-term plan was to branch out into property development and build and own the houses we set the families up in, but that would be further down the track.

As the representative from a German company that was considering taking us on left the office, I stayed seated at the meeting table and massaged my temples with my fingertips.

“Well, despite the unprofessional look you presented, I think today went pretty well,” Mel said as she walked back in to the room.

“I think so too.” I lied. I was tired, I was in pain, and my head wasn’t in the game. All I could think about was Sarah. I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to be curled up in bed with her. I didn’t care if we didn’t even have sex, I just wanted to feel her warmth, have her body pressed against mine, and be able to breathe her in. I’d been a miserable fucker all day because I was here and not with her. I was even more miserable that she wouldn’t respond to my text messages or answer my calls.

“Can I go?” Liz asked, standing from her spot in the corner of the room where I had forgotten she’d been sitting.

“Of course,” I told her. “Thought you’d already left. Thanks for everything today, sorry it’s been a long one. Take tomorrow off.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thanks, Liam, you’re the best. See ya. Bye, Mel.”

Liz didn’t like Mel, she hadn’t told me as much, but that was the vibe I got. At just twenty-five, she was the youngest member of our team, but again, she knew her stuff and was proving to be a perfect fit for what we were trying to build and establish.

“You’re too soft on her.”

“She was here at six this morning setting up, which means she left home at five, it’s now after seven. I don’t think I’m soft, I think I’m fair.”

Her jaw twitched a few times as she thought about my response and maybe considered her own. To be honest, I didn’t give a fuck what she thought. Liz worked for me, not her, and I had a feeling that Mel would occasionally need to be reminded that she was an employee,
not
the employer.

“Whatever. So you gonna tell me what really happened to your face?” After a moments pause, she added, “I’ve been in a car when the airbag goes off, there’s no way one caused that kind of damage. Who you been fighting with?”

I’d apologised all day to the perspective clients for the way I looked and explained that I’d been involved in a minor car accident over the weekend and the air bags had gone off. It was a bullshit excuse and I’m sure most of them knew it. Oscar Muller, the German we’d had the last meeting with, had even asked me how bad the other guy looked and said that he hoped I’d gotten at least one good shot in. I’d laughed possibly the most insincere laugh of my life.

“None of your business. Do we need to lock anything up here or just leave? I need to get home.”

She moved around the meeting table and sat her arse on it next to where I sat in a chair.

“No, we can just leave. We need to let the main reception know on the way out, and then we’re done.”

“Good, let’s get out of here then.”

I stood to leave, but Mel stepped in front of me. With the sky-high heels she was wearing, we were almost at eyelevel.

“Really? You’re gonna rush off so soon? You don’t wanna stay in town, let me show you the sights of London?”

She reached out and rested her hand on my shoulder. I removed it and stepped back.

“No, the only sight I wanna see is my girlfriend.” I collected my coat from the stand it was hanging on and put it on before I continued. “Let’s get one thing straight, Mel. I’m your boss, I employ you to do a job. You
don’t
question me, not about my personal life and most definitely not about how I deal with other members of the staff. Even more importantly, and I want this to be fucking clear, you don’t flirt with me. Ever.”

She folded her arms across her chest and cocked her hip to the side. Her mouth opened a few times, but she never actually spoke.

“Are we clear?”

“As crystal,” she replied.

“Good. Get your coat, we’re leaving.”

***

I tried Sarah’s number continuously on the train ride home. It’d been switched off, which pissed me off. I didn’t care what she said about not speaking to me, we would talk and we would get this whole mess sorted out.

Mel, who had been quiet on our walk to the station, now rambled on from her seat opposite me. I tuned her out.

When my battery was finally down to its last ten percent, I stopped attempting to call Sarah in case she attempted to call me. Either way I would go to her house straight from the station and talk to her face to face.

“So who is she?” Mel interrupted my thoughts.

“What?”

“Your girlfriend, who is she?”

“Did you not listen to anything I said before we left the office?”

“Oh come on.” Her long legs were crossed and she poked me with the tip of her grey shoe. I looked down at where her foot had made contact with my trousers and then back up at her.

“I’m your fucking boss. You do not poke me with your shoe.”

“It’s almost eight thirty, I’m off the clock.”

“We paid you travel time today, and we paid your travel fare. You are not off the clock.”

Fuck me, she was a pain in my arse. She might be good at her job, but she was a fucking pest. I had no clue how Luke put up with her as a girlfriend.

“You are one—”

I raised my eyebrows, daring her to carry on with whatever insult she was about to throw my way. She huffed, turned her face to the window, and folded her arms.

My phone rang, I nearly hit the luggage rack above my head.

Luke.

Great.

“Speak, arsewipe,” I answered with.

“How’d it go?”

“Pretty good. The Germans, Malaysians, and probably the Scottish companies are mostly in, the rest have gone away to look at figures. They need to calculate what they’d save on man hours by handing things over to us, obviously I’ve told them that they also need to factor in the discount we can get on rental accommodation, saving them even more.”

“Where are you now?”

Ah, so that was the real reason for his call. It was late, he was just checking that I wasn’t with his sister.

“We’re still on the train, about ten minutes from home.”

“We’re?”

“Yeah, Mel’s with me.”

“Is she now? Behaving herself I hope?”

“Nope.”

“Good girl. You coming straight home?”

“Nope.”

“No? Where you going then?”

“To my flat.” I cringed, waiting on his response.

“The one right across from my sister? Like fuck you are. I’ll pick you up at the station.”

“No need. I left my car there this morning.”

“I’ll leave now.”

“Why?”

“I’ll meet you at the flat.”

“Great,” I said with the least enthusiasm possible.

“You better stay the fuck away from her.”

“Or what?”

“Don’t push me, fucker.”

“Have you spoken to her today?”

“No, have you?”

“Nah, her phones off.”

“Yeah, I tried calling. I spoke to Sash, but she hadn’t heard from her either. I might call her now actually. Will said he sent her a text but didn’t get a reply.”

“Why the fuck is he texting her?”

My dull headache turned into a throb and dots danced in front of my eyes.

“Probably the same reason you were trying to call her. I love the way you both totally ignored my request to stay the fuck away from her. Great friends you two turned out to be.”

“If he’s been around there today, I swear, I will kill that fucker.”

“Chill the fuck out, dude. He hasn’t seen her. He asked if they could meet, but she didn’t . . .” He paused. “Ya know what? I don’t know why I’m getting involved. I’ve asked you both to stay away from her, and you’ve both ignored me. You wanna know what’s happening with Will and my sister, ask him and I’ll tell him the same about you.”

“You’re a miserable fucker, d’you know that? You know what your problem is, you need a shag.”

“I got one last night, ask your mum.”

Despite my mum being twelve thousand kilometres away and knowing full well that it was impossible, I hung up on him.

Mel starred at me with her eyebrows raised.

“What?” I snapped.

“Trouble in paradise? I’m intrigued. Who’s got you all twisted up? She must be someone special.”

You ever see the film
Flubber
about the green bouncy stuff? Well I felt a ball of emotion bouncing around that train carriage, no matter which way I dodged and ducked, it got me. Hitting me in the chest over and over again.              

My throat felt constricted and my chest tight as I thought about how special Sarah was. Tears stung the back of my eyes so I turned my head to face the blackness outside of the train window.

“You have no idea,” I finally forced out just as the lights of our stop came into view.