Spirit Bound (14 page)

She couldn’t stop smiling even with Blythe witnessing her out-of-control behavior.

“Just tonight. Just for now. Inside my house where no one else can be affected, Blythe. I called you because you seem to absorb my feelings rather than react to them. I
have
to allow myself this one night of complete happiness.” There was a plea in her voice, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to know she was wholly a woman and she had to share this incredible moment with someone she loved. “Please be happy for me.”

It was amazing to feel fully alive again, a vibrant, desirable woman. Of course she wouldn’t do anything about it, but the sheer relief of knowing she
could
was as stimulating as the best champagne.

Blythe moistened her lips. “It’s impossible not to be happy for you, Judith. I’ve never seen you like this. I just want you to make certain you know all the hidden dangers. You have to see him at the gallery. It’s not like you can totally avoid him.”

Judith took a breath and made her confession in a rush. “I invited him here tomorrow. To ride the tractor with me and have lunch. I told him I’d show him around the farm.”

She felt so guilty. Well guilt was there, but maybe not uppermost. She could close her eyes and hold the image of Tom—
Thomas
, he would always be a Thomas to her—looking as if he might blush and stammer any moment. He was so amazing. He looked tougher than nails and had a reputation as a brilliant businessman, yet with her he’d been almost shy.

She had almost felt sorry for him until that moment when her eyes had met his and there was nothing at all shy about the way he was looking at her. He looked as if it was all he could do to keep from throwing her down on the counter as she’d been imagining. He looked capable of being rough and hot and so needy he could barely wait to get her clothes off.

She knew she looked reserved and cool, but her needs had nothing to do with
reservation
or
cool
. Deep inside was a well of passion—of fire—and somehow, Thomas Vincent had managed to find it. She wanted to weep with joy—with fear. She destroyed people, those closest to her, her family, people she loved. And when she loved, she loved with every fiber of her being.

“You did what?” Blythe asked, shock showing on her face. “
Invited
him here?”

Judith took a deep breath, pressing a hand to her churning stomach. Blythe wasn’t any more stunned at her behavior than she was. The farm was sacred—their sanctuary. All of them had secrets, and now, more than ever, they had to be careful.

“What about Levi?” Blythe asked, her voice more gentle than accusing. “Have you considered that we need to protect him from outsiders? And Lexi? She’s very uncomfortable with strangers around.”

“I don’t plan on taking him anywhere near their homes,” Judith defended. Where was the remorse and guilt she should be feeling? She hugged herself as she crossed to the window and looked down at the carpet of small white star flowers swaying gently in the breeze. Above her, the stars scattered across the sky, the two pinpoints of white creating the effect of being in the middle of a beautiful galaxy.

“Have you thought this through? Is spending time with him outside of the gallery a good idea?”

“No, of course not. I don’t care though, Blythe.” She turned back to look at her chosen sister, willing her to understand. “I want to feel this. I want to be swept off my feet. I want to ache for him and cry for him and feel all twisted up inside. I
need
this.”

Blythe studied her for a long time, and then slowly nodded. “I think you’re right, Judith. It’s been a long time coming and you deserve to be genuinely happy. I just want you to be careful with your heart. Don’t just give it away without thought. You’re an all-or-nothing person. Let’s at least do a little investigation.”

“I did. As soon as Inez gave me his name, I looked him up on the Internet and he truly seems to be a decent guy. He’s got a good reputation in the business world. A few charity events had his picture. There were a couple of articles written about him. No hidden wife. No criminal history, no ugly divorces. He’s just a nice man who works far too much.”

“And wants to come to Sea Haven and buy a failing art gallery.”

Judith shrugged. “We came here to start a different way of life.”

“We have pasts, Judith,” Blythe pointed out. “We aren’t the best examples. I’m just playing the devil’s advocate because you’re really jumping off the cliff and you aren’t even looking for a safety net.”

“Maybe I don’t want one. Just this once I want to let myself feel something.”

“You know you’re a spirit element, Judith. Nothing can change that,” Blythe stated the problem. “Is he reacting to you? Or you to him? Is what you’re feeling genuine?”

“I’m away from him and I’m still feeling it,” Judith said with a small shrug. “It feels genuine. I’m so happy and I actually feel beautiful and so
alive.
”

“And you don’t mind if I call Jonas and ask him to do a little checking up on Thomas Vincent?” Blythe asked.

Judith’s gaze jumped to hers. “You’re testing me, to see if I’m certain of him. I am, Blythe. I’ve steered clear of the bad-boy gene pool and I’m absolutely certain he’s the genuine deal. His aura is difficult for me to read, but that isn’t entirely unusual. Gifted people often have mixed auras.”

“Gifted?” Blythe prompted, one eyebrow shooting up.

Judith found herself blushing for no reason. She’d felt his spirit rising to meet hers. To be physically and intellectually attracted to someone was difficult enough, but to have her spirit reaching to embrace his,
rushing
to absorb and be absorbed—frankly it had never happened to her before, and she felt like a giddy teen with a crush on a rock star.

She nodded. “He’s definitely gifted in some way.”

Blythe shook her head. “That doesn’t worry you even a little bit?”

“I refuse to be worried.” She threw herself onto the bed beside Blythe and caught her hands. “Be happy with me. Let me have this. More than likely tomorrow I’ll realize it was all me and he really was feeling my emotions amplified a million times over.”

“And if that isn’t the case?”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

“I’m calling Jonas.”

Judith shrugged. “I’m fine with that. He isn’t going to find anything.”

“And you’ll have to tell Levi and Rikki,” Blythe cautioned.

“Levi can make himself scarce,” Judith said. “It’s only for a couple of hours. I won’t take Thomas anywhere near their house or Lexi’s.”

Blythe raised her eyebrow. “You don’t really understand Levi, do you, Judith? He isn’t the kind of man to make himself scarce. He’s going to worry about Rikki and you as well. He’ll be around and he’ll be watching, probably with a rifle on your Thomas the entire time.”

Judith sighed. “Life certainly can get complicated fast. I just want to spend a little time with him, maybe feel like this a time or two more, even if it isn’t really reciprocated.” Her dark eyes met Blythe’s. “Wouldn’t you want to feel this way again? You had it once.”

There was a small silence. Blythe turned away from her, pacing across the floor on long legs, her shoulders and back stiff. Shame washed over Judith. She followed her oldest sister across the room and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Blythe. I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I wasn’t trying to attack you. I just meant that feeling again, waking up as a woman is amazing, and I know you felt this way at least once. This is my time. Maybe my only time.”

She studied Blythe’s averted face and made her confession in a little rush. “I was such an innocent when I met Jean-Claude, so silly, mistaking his lifestyle and strength for the real thing. I was so impressed with him and I thought the sun rose and set with him. I didn’t pay attention to what he really was, just with what I thought he was, building a fantasy man in my head that didn’t exist. I didn’t even understand what love was back then.”

Blythe turned her head and Judith could see her face was streaked with tears. “It’s okay, Judith. I always fall apart around this time of year. It really has nothing to do with you.”

“I’m just so embarrassed that I let a man like Jean-Claude into my life when I should have known better. All the warning signs were there, they were, Blythe. I didn’t want to see them. I heard whispers and I ignored them. I saw the look on some people’s faces and alarms would go off in my head, but I didn’t stop. I just kept on with my ridiculous fantasy. And when it all came crumbling down, that precious princess in her golden tower dream, I couldn’t even handle it myself.”

Judith sank back down onto the bed and gripped the intricate footboard. “I made such a mess out of so many people’s lives and got my brother murdered in the process. That should have been me, not him. I guess I don’t deserve to feel this way, do I?”

“Judith!” Blythe swung around. “Don’t you ever say that again. Do you think Rikki doesn’t deserve happiness with Levi?”

“She was innocent. She didn’t start the fires that killed her parents and her fiancé.”

“And you aren’t any more responsible for your brother’s death, or even what happened to any of the others involved.”

Judith gripped the footboard tighter. “Really? Do you really believe that, Blythe? It was my emotions swinging so far out of control that provoked all those people.”

“You had no idea you were a spirit element. You’d never even heard the term before, let alone known what it was or how it worked. You didn’t know anything about psychic gifts or how to contain or use them properly. Of course your emotions were intense. Your brother was tortured and murdered in front of you. Did you think you’d be gentle Judith, smiling sweetly at the men who had committed such an atrocity? That isn’t even reasonable.”

“I guess none of us are very reasonable when it comes to our own lives. I say that very same thing to you, Blythe, yet you still take responsibility for your stepfather and mother’s deaths.” Judith flashed a wan smile. “But of course, for you, that’s different.”

Blythe sent an answering smile back. “Of course. Every time I think we’ve all come so far, this time of year rolls around and throws you—and me—right back into a depression, wallowing in guilt and sorrow.”

“And then I have to meet Thomas Vincent. Poor innocent man, walks into the big mess of our lives. I guess we’re all just holding it together by a thread. Inviting a stranger into our lives even for an afternoon probably isn’t very fair. I didn’t think it through.” She bit down on her lower lip. “Maybe I should I call him.”

Blythe shook her head. “I think we can accommodate Mr. Vincent. Lexi won’t mind. She’s been saying she wanted to take a day off to read up on the temperatures needed in the greenhouse for some exotic plant she wants to grow.”

Judith couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s our Lexi. She doesn’t have enough plants or enough forest to play in, she has to bring the jungle to Sea Haven.”

“I love her so much,” Blythe said. “I ache for her sometimes.”

Judith nodded. “Me too. I think we all do. She’s thriving here though.”

“She hides from the world,” Blythe pointed out.

Judith laid a comforting hand on Blythe’s shoulder. “We’re all hiding from the world, Blythe,” she said gently. “Those gates make us feel safe here and none of us wants to venture too far out of our comfort zone.”

Blythe frowned. “You’re so right, Judith. No wonder I had such a reaction to you bringing a man here, I wanted our safe little world to remain intact. That’s the same reason we were all upset when Rikki found Levi.”

It was Judith’s turn to frown. “Not exactly. We all tend to protect Rikki.”

“We protect ourselves as well as each other. Bring him. We all need to be shaken up a little. It isn’t good for any of us to hide away. Maybe at first we needed a sanctuary, but it isn’t living—not really.”

“I’ll call Lexi right now,” Judith said.

“She’ll be very understanding,” Blythe assured.

“So will Rikki.”

Blythe nodded. “That’s true, but Levi, not so much. We think Jonas is bad, but Levi has a protective streak a mile wide and it’s extended from a wide circle around Rikki to the rest of us. He’ll be watching out for you, Judith.”

“I’m not certain Levi’s way of watching for us is something we want to look too closely at,” Judith admitted.

They exchanged a small smile of understanding.

6

HIGHWAY
1 was beautiful, the ocean lapping at the cliffs on one side, the other with forests spreading up the mountains and ribbons of silvery water cascading over rocks through the variety of trees. Stefan had never really appreciated the beauty of his surroundings as he did in this particular place. He loved the color, vivid greens in various shades and splashes of bright flowers vying for space on the rising mountains. In spite of the bruising across his chest and the thin knife wounds on his arms, he felt surprisingly good. Ivanov wouldn’t be in any shape to follow him and he could have this one day with Judith to himself.

He shook his head at the absolute absurdity of what he was doing. Spending time with Judith Henderson was far more dangerous than chasing Petr Ivanov in the dark of the night but the need was too strong to resist. He’d never for one moment dreamt of meeting a woman like her. Falling in love was a fairy tale. He hadn’t believed in such things, and certainly didn’t believe he was capable of falling under a woman’s spell. He was not a man who put aside who and what he was to indulge himself. For him, this peculiar behavior was just one more sign that he’d been in the business too long.

In the end, all the recriminations in the world didn’t matter. He’d lain awake most of the night and thought about her, all the while rubbing his left palm along his thigh. Strangely, his palm had itched most of the night and this morning there was a strange burning. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the weird problem with his palm had something to do with Judith. Part of him hoped that when he saw Judith again, the terrible longing in him would subside and he would realize the momentary madness was over.