Spirited (6 page)

Being treated as delusional is one of the most frustrating things a young Pagan has to deal with. The inevitable cliché that “You're a teenager, you don't know what you want!” is the reality for many Pagans. Often our families see our involvement in Paganism as a hobby. Spirituality is not and never has been a way of spending your free time. There are no collectables, passwords, or club benefits. Paganism, like any spiritual path, is a way to express oneself through a connection with the divine. Paganism deserves the same treatment and recognition afforded to the other world faiths.

Siblings are another story altogether. Generally it is unpredictable as to how your sibling/s will react. As you are closer in age to your siblings, your relationships with them are, in most cases, informal. Disagreements and arguments can result in hot-tempered slurs, insults, and physical fighting.

If you want your siblings to understand Paganism, then it is important to tone down the Pagan-specific terminology and convey your spirituality through analogy and example. Isobel Bird, a Wiccan author, demonstrates this beautifully in
Circle of Three,
a series focused on three unique teenage girls and their year and a day of Wiccan study. In the twelfth instalment of the series, entitled
Written in the Stars
, Kate, the archetypal seeker struggling with her newfound interest, attempts to explain Wicca to her older brother Kyle after he confronts her about their frosty relationship. Initially Kate falters, afraid that she will not have the competency to convey her feelings and experiences of Wicca verbally. However, Kate is suddenly inspired by a voice in her head to begin with her altar, or rather the statue of Demeter upon it. After the divine inspiration, Kate soon finds the words to help explain Wicca to Kyle, and despite her brother's original response to Kate's interest in the Craft, he learns to accept her for who she is. The scene within the book is a very involved emotional exchange and strikes a nostalgic chord with young Pagans. I highly recommend the series to any Pagan, young or old, as it deals with Pagan spirituality in an authentic, familiar, and vivid way.

If you are ever met with scepticism or disbelief concerning your faith, it's best to keep quiet about your spiritual views until such time that you feel you have achieved a sense of security within yourself to confront your oppressors with maturity and tact.

As youths, we are all at a stage of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual development. We are beginning to learn the ways of the world and to become familiar with the psychological makeup of humanity, our peers in particular. Despite your understanding of the mentalities of the human species, it is safe to say that as a youth you are also struggling with your emotions and discovering the extent to which your feelings affect your entire being. Earlier on, while I was still living at home, I suffered from spontaneous mental breakdowns, emotional hurt, and torrential self-doubt, each connected with my spiritual identity. In saying this, I must make it clear that it was not Paganism that caused these problems but the extended links with external forces and individuals that have suppressed me at various points alongside my magickal progression.

Family values are important to most of us. We all seek to belong, to fit in, and to feel comfortable with our family. For the sake of convenience, it is important that each of us attempt to relate to our family members in an honest, open, and free-flowing environment. By no means is this a push for you to come out of the broom closet; when you are ready, you are ready. You need to honour the pace of your own development; don't rush things. Ultimately, the family issue is one of expressing how you feel, processing and reacting to your family's feelings, and allowing for mutual compromise. At times, this may require a low profile in terms of your publicity. In the end, it is your decision; whether you take on your family's wishes is up to you. Keep in mind that if you wish to be seen as a mature individual, you need to act in a considerate and reasonable manner. Discuss with your family the reasons you feel so strongly about Paganism and allow them the time and space to come to terms with your spirituality. To them, it may indicate the transitions occurring internally as you develop as an individual.

If you feel that Paganism is more of a progression than a radical transformation, make sure you communicate this to your family. Seize the opportunity to talk about your feelings with your family and make sure you articulate! The guidelines suggested in chapter three are applicable in your family life too, and it may help your case to encourage your family members to find out about the truths of Paganism for themselves. Lend them this book and indicate the chapters and sections of most relevance. Afterwards, discuss with your family how they feel about your involvement with Paganism. Ask in earnest that they be completely honest with you and that they attempt an educated and informed response to the reading material. If the issue is of religious abandonment, make it clear that Pagans do not seek converts but do encourage speculation, questioning, and examination within one's own belief system. If you attend any Pagan social gatherings, ask your family to come along to meet your Pagan friends. Pagan social meets are open ground for curious people who have inquiries about our traditions.

Your family may feel that you are obsessed or restricted by your involvement with Paganism and only wish you the freedom of choice that you are entitled to. If this is the case, I suggest you take this in stride, respond in humour, and explain that it was your choice that led you to examine the Pagan traditions.

The experience of family, youth, and Paganism is a unique passage of coming into being. Many young Pagans who encounter the negative response find they grow a great deal during the period in which the family seems fanatical about the matter, to the point where both parties come to an agreement and acceptance occurs. Whatever happens, know that you are loved by your family, cherished by your gods, and enfolded by your spirit.

Magick of the Home

When it comes to family, Magick is a vital energy that can help sustain peace in the home, strengthen ties between family members, and protect them. The rituals below are open to family participation, or you can perform them on your own. If you are not satisfied with how the rituals have been written, adapt them to your own purposes and take it from there.

A Ritual to Banish Negativity from the Home

This ritual can be used to purify your house of any negative energies and to bless it with peace and tranquillity.

You will need:

A large bowl (preferably ceramic)

Rose water

Rain water

Sea water (you can substitute blessed water with sea or rock salt)

Spring water (the bottled stuff is fine)

A white taper candle

Chalice

Matches or a lighter

Four illuminator candles

It's best to perform this ritual at the new moon and in the room you consider to be the heart of your house (where your family spends most of their time). Place the bowl in the centre of your altar and the vessels holding each type of water around it. The white candle should be positioned behind the bowl and the chalice to the right or left of the bowl depending on your writing hand. Before you begin, set out the four lit illuminator candles at the four directions to form the outer ring of your circle. Allow yourself enough space for the ritual to go on without hindrance. You will also need to ensure that every door in your house is wide open. It is permissible for your front and back doors to be closed for privacy and security reasons.

Begin by focusing and centring your awareness. Kneel or sit cross-legged before your altar, and ground and centre. Once you are focussed, join hands with those around you and cast the circle by envisioning a sphere of white light pulsating around you all. Hold the visualisation for several minutes, empowering and sealing the circle with these words:

Serene white light, be bound and blessed

Flow in beauty, put darkness to rest

Seal this space by our intent

Sacred circle, these words are sent!

When you feel that the circle has been cast, light the white candle on the altar and see the flame as a source of peace and serenity. Say:

This flame is a beacon to love, understanding, warmth, and purity

It is the heart of family that beats within us all

May it enfold us in its cloak of peace and concord

May it dispel all darkness that troubles this home.

Each family member present, including yourself, should each say one line. The blessing should go deosil
8
(starting with you) and will finish with the last person in the cycle. If there are more than four, you may add new lines to the blessing to accomodate for the extra people. If you are doing the ritual on your own, recite the entire thing.

After a moment of silence, take the chalice and the vessel of rose water and measure out half a cup of the liquid. Pour this into the bowl, and say:

Water of the rose to court the heart.

Pass the chalice on deosil and instruct the next person to pour half a cup of rain water into the bowl, saying:

Water of the rain to cleanse the soul.

Instruct the next person to pour half a cup of sea water into the bowl, saying:

Water of the sea to heal our wounds.

Instruct the next person to pour half a cup of spring water into the bowl, saying:

Water of the spring to purify.

Each person should now place the index finger of their power hand into the liquid and stir deosil while envisioning white light filling the mixture. See the light increase in intensity the faster your fingers spin. As you stir, chant:

By the rose and by the rain

Banish from this house our pain

By the sea and by the spring

Bless our potion in this ring

Waters of the soul arise

Wash away ill spirits and ties

Bless this place and all within

No longer shall the darkness win!

Repeat the chant as many times as you need until you feel the energy reach its peak. When the climax comes, visualise the water reflecting a concentrated beam of white light upward from the bowl and through the ceiling. Imagine the beam spinning outward (deosil) to saturate the house. Feel yourself in the midst of blinding white light. Bask in the glory of pure energy for a few minutes and then signal for everyone to stand. Pick up the bowl and ask someone else to carry the candle. Before you step outside of your circle, see it extend to surround your entire house. Now walk through your house, flicking the potion in each and every corner while visualising the house encompassed by the sphere of white light. Once you have covered every room of your house, including pantries, storage cupboards, and toilets, head to your front yard and organise everyone into a circle. Hand the bowl to the person next to you (going deosil) and ask that they pour a little of it over your hands. Rub your hands together, allowing the potion to soak into your skin, and recite the following:

Pure by this potion made

Blessed by this spell we've laid

No more shall negativity reign

No more shall darkness feed our pain.

Each person should do the same, passing on the bowl to the person next to them and reciting the chant. Once everyone has been blessed, pour the remainder of the mixture into the garden or specifically on the roots of a particular tree while silently asking its blessing.

The ritual is complete.

A Ritual to Promote Understanding

This ritual is best preceded by the above ritual, which helps to pave the way for new and more peaceful family relationships. This ritual helps to establish a firm foundation of understanding within your family. If you can, get everyone in your immediate family involved.

You will need:

Cauldron or fireproof container

Methylated spirits or rubbing alcohol

Matches

Paper and pen (blue ink)

Six metres of white satin ribbon (or enough to suit the circumference of a circle created by your family)

Six metres of blue satin ribbon (as above)

Dried basil leaves

Considering this ritual uses a cauldron and fire, it's best performed outside in the backyard, preferably at night under the light of the waxing moon (or just straight after the
above
ritual).

Begin by handing a piece of paper and a blue pen to everyone participating and ask them to write down their hidden animosities and anxieties towards the other family members. Ensure that no one else will be reading the papers and that they should each pour out their pent-up emotions onto paper as best they can. Once everyone (including you) has finished writing down their feelings, gather everyone into a circle around the cauldron and pour a considerable amount (but not too much) of either the methylated spirits or rubbing alcohol into the base of the cauldron and throw a lit match carefully into it. Once the fire is going steadily, you can cast the circle as you did before by visualising the sphere of white light. Then, beginning with you, throw the piece of paper into the flames with a handful of basil leaves while chanting:

I pray release will find its way

To this fire on this day