Spirit's Chosen (50 page)

We put out the fires. We rescued the living from the wreckage of their homes. We repaired the fields. We shared food and water and shelter without asking the person eating from our bowl
What is your clan? Are you highborn, lowborn, free or slave?
We began to rebuild the houses and the storage shelters. We buried the dead.

I said my last earthly farewell to my beloved two days after the earthquake. There would be no elaborate ceremonies and no extended period of mourning. The needs of the living took precedence over the peace of the departed. Daimu would have understood that. Ryu supervised the rebuilding of Mori’s tomb, putting four men on the job as well as himself. They salvaged stones from the fallen monument, and though the result was modest, it was a proper resting place that Daimu shared with his uncle’s bones.

Rinji performed the funeral rites. I could not have done it without breaking down. The calamity that had befallen
his people left him deeply altered. All of his hesitancy and self-consciousness were gone. He carried himself with quiet dignity in the presence of the gods and with true humility, not cringing self-abasement, among the Ookami. Even Lady Sato noticed the change and spoke to him with respect, though she looked a little peeved to have lost her sarcasm’s favorite target.

When the ceremony was over, Rinji approached Noboru and me. We were both weeping, taking comfort from one another. The Ookami who attended the interment kept their distance during the burial rites and headed back to the village without speaking to us afterward. I think this was partly out of respect for our grief, partly because they had all become a little afraid of me.

Rinji waited patiently until my sobs subsided and I indicated I was ready to talk. I thanked him for how well he had invoked the gods and even managed to give him an encouraging look as I said: “Your teacher would be very proud of you.”

“I hope that
both
of my teachers feel that way.” He glanced after the departing villagers. “Lady Himiko, it would be a great kindness if you could visit our pottery-maker today. She is beside herself with misery because she wasn’t able to work fast enough and make enough attendants for Master Daimu and his uncle.”

I smiled faintly. “She provided more than enough, and in such a short time. Mori had no one to look after him while he was alive, and Daimu took care of himself when he was on his long pilgrimage. She shouldn’t fret, but I will speak with her anyway.”

“I could do that for you, Big Sister,” Noboru said.

“Thank you, Noboru; that would be good. Why don’t you run ahead and see to it now?” With a nod and a grin, Noboru was on his way. Rinji and I watched him go.

“He’s a fine boy,” Rinji said. “You should be pleased that he’s so eager to set the potter’s mind at ease. It was a miracle that the earthquake spared her firing oven. She’s going to need it.” He sighed. “So many burial vessels for her to make, so many funeral rites for me to perform.”

“Not so many as that.” I wiped away the last of my tears and gazed at the monument. “I will help you bury your kin.”

He looked surprised by my offer. “How can you? Now that Master Daimu has been buried, you and Noboru will leave us soon.”

“We have been gone for so long, will a few more days make much difference? You and I will be able to comfort the dead and the living more quickly if we can work together. I think—I
know
this is what I should do”—I could not take my eyes from Daimu’s resting place—“for his sake. I hear him telling me,
‘Himiko, my people need you.’
” With an effort, I turned away from the monument. “But my mother needs me too. It’s my duty as her daughter to go back, yet if I forsake my duty as a shaman, I will regret it forever. Oh, Rinji, if there only was a way that I could accomplish both!”

“May the gods grant that there is.”

The next day, as I was thinking about preparations for the journey home, Rinji came to tell me that he had sent a messenger to the Matsu clan with word that I would return with Noboru before summer ended. “A message! Such a
simple solution!” he said happily. “I should have thought of it right away.”

“And I,” I said.

“I’m glad you didn’t. This way—helping you even a little—I feel I’m finally able to begin atoning for what I did to you and Daimu.”

“Rinji, I forgave you for that.”

“I wish I could forgive myself.” He sighed again.

Seeking to distract him, I asked, “Who did you send? Someone reliable, I hope. Someone who knows the way to my village?”

He brightened. “I sent Hiroshi. You have to agree, he’s the right man for the job. He’s never traveled to the Matsu lands, but his brother-in-law made the journey many seasons ago, with our old Lord Nago. He told his family so many tales about the trip that Hiroshi swears he’ll be able to find his way there with ease. He’s ready to do everything but sprout wings and fly, to serve you.”

“Does Ryu know you did this?”

“If he doesn’t like it, I’ll take the consequences.”

Hearing him speak so calmly, without a hint of his old timidity, I had to smile and say, “You are very brave, my friend.”

“Brave as a cornered rat. You know how we’re all living, these days. If he does discover what I’ve done, I have nowhere to hide, so I might as well pretend I’m standing up to him out of courage.”

Rinji was trying to make little of his newfound valor, but he was right about one thing: there was no longer any
way for him or me or Noboru or Ryu and his household to avoid one another.

By the greatest luck, the Ookami village shrine did not collapse in the earthquake. Ryu’s family moved into it at once, bringing Rinji, Noboru, and me. Lady Sato was much too pleased to have all of her slaves
and
the shrine servants attending her. When it was their turn to serve on the house-building crews, she took it as a personal attack and an attempt to steal her property.

Everyone in the village took part in the reconstruction efforts, unless they were too old, too young, too sickly, or recovering from the injuries they had sustained during the quake. Some worked on the actual process of raising a house: digging holes, felling trees, shaping lumber, gathering thatch, and everything else. Others saw to it that the laborers were well fed, had enough water to drink while they worked, and that their tools remained in good condition.

I … did nothing. Although I worked with Rinji, caring for the spirits of the dead, it was not a task that took up every moment of my days. Unlike Lady Sato, it did not feel natural for me to be idle in the midst of so much unfinished work. I accepted the fact that I would not be of any use when it came to the heavy labor of home-building, but whenever I tried to take my place in the ranks of the water-carriers, or the cooks, or ax-sharpeners, I was turned away.

“Lady Himiko, you mustn’t do this sort of work. It isn’t fit for you.”

“We have more than enough people helping us already. You should go back to the shrine and ask the gods to bless us with success in erecting this new house.”

“If you are busy working here, who will guide us? Who will decide what we should do next? Who will settle all the problems that have arisen since the great disaster?”

“Our shaman shouldn’t dirty her hands washing dishes.”

“Our leader shouldn’t waste time hauling water from the well.”

It did me no good to tell them that I was not their leader, and that while I was a shaman, I was not
their
shaman anymore. From the earliest moments of my grief for Daimu’s death, the Ookami had left me little time for tears. They implored my forgiveness for having ignored my vision-sent warnings. They swore they would not make that mistake a second time. They begged me to tell them what the future held, and when I explained that I did not control when and what the spirits told me, they refused to believe it.

I reminded them that their chieftain was alive, strong, and capable. He had taken charge of all rescue and restoration efforts, as was his right and duty toward his people. They chose to hear,
Lord Ryu is following
my
direction and obeying
my
commands!

If that were only true! Though the quake had changed Ryu’s heart and opened his eyes, it had not turned him into a lump of beeswax for me to shape in any way I liked. It purged him of his resentment, his haughtiness, and the petty grudges that had once filled his spirit with a
mamushi
’s venom, but it had not driven out his dreams of further conquests. That task remained for me.

On a summer day when heavy rain made it impossible for the wolf clan to do anything but take shelter in their overcrowded houses, old and new, I decided it was time
to settle all of the unresolved matters between me, Ryu, Rinji, and the rest of their clan. While Chizu and the baby napped, and Noboru helped Lady Sato weave ramie fabric for the new clothes all of us needed so urgently, I discreetly asked Ryu and Rinji to come with me.

I led them to the back of the shrine, where I had once again set up the cloth walls of my sleeping quarters, now shared with Noboru. I motioned for them to sit, but before they were properly settled, Ryu blurted out: “Don’t leave us yet, Lady Himiko, please!”

I was taken aback. “What are you saying?”

“I thought you wanted to speak to the two of us because you were going to announce your departure.” When I shook my head, he looked embarrassed by his outburst. “I’m sorry. Of course you are free to leave at any time—you and all your kin. It’s just that … we still need you
and
them.”

“It was good of the Matsu to stay on and work with our people, even after Lord Ryu gave them their liberty,” Rinji said. “I’m surprised they didn’t leave at once.”

“They’re waiting for Noboru and me,” I said. “For some reason, they don’t want to go home without us.”

“It’s a mark of respect,” Ryu said. “They are like the Ookami: they don’t want to tempt the displeasure of the gods after seeing the proof of your powers.”

I lowered my voice. “I did not
cause
the earthquake, Ryu.”

“No, but the gods sent it to punish us for our offenses against you and your kin: the attempted sacrifices, the slavery, the war that took the lives of your father and brothers—”

“Then why did the quake bury at least two Matsu along
with the Ookami? And why are more of my people suffering from wounds and broken bones?” I shook my head. “The disaster did not come as a punishment. It came because … it came. Such things happen. I do not believe that the gods release the dragons of this world against us as penalties for our wrongdoing. If that were so, would there be a single person left alive? Your people are not suffering
because
of how they treated me and mine. The Ookami are as precious to the spirits as the Matsu, or any other clan. The gods see none of the differences between us, the differences that we created ourselves.”

Ryu looked solemn. “You are right, Lady Himiko.”

“Lord Ryu, Master Rinji, we must help the people see the truth as well. The Ookami treat me with
too
much deference. They see me as their leader
and
their shaman.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Rinji attempted a jest, but Ryu was not laughing.

“It is,” I insisted. “The people should be guided by those who can lead them best, not those who terrify them most. Otherwise they will face a future forever torn by war.” I turned my hand over and contemplated the long scar across my palm, relic of the shattered dragon stone’s sharp touch. I had given up trying to understand how a wound received in a vision could leave a scar in the waking world. Instead I decided to concentrate on the lessons it might teach me, and that I might teach to others.

“Lord Ryu …” I dropped my voice so low that it was almost lost in the sound of the rain. “Lord Ryu, you are not happy with the way your clan has flocked to me.” He tried to protest, but I raised my scarred hand and silenced him.
“I do not blame you.
You
are their chieftain, always striving to shield them from hunger and hardship. How have they repaid your care?” He did not need to reply. His look of bitter disappointment spoke for him. “Yet you still want me to stay?”

“We must rebuild,” he said. “We have lost too much of our stored food, too many of our rice fields have been ruined, and if we cannot repair and replant them soon, we risk losing too much of the growing season. If you give the word, the people will work better and more swiftly to satisfy you than to obey me. I will not see my clan starve, Lady Himiko.”

I lowered my eyelids. “Is that why you are planning to send warriors against the boar clan soon?” I asked.

“How did you—?”

I lifted my gaze and saw how deeply I had unnerved him. “Your people force me to be idle, and idle ears hear rumors. Is this one true?”

“People in this clan talk too much,” he said sullenly. “I wasn’t going to
war
against the Inoshishi. Why would I? They’re already our subjects. I only wanted to make a show of our strength when I tell them they must raise the level of their tribute and send it earlier. I have to begin making up for the stored supplies we lost in the earthquake.”

“You must not do this,” I said. “Unless he’s a fool, the boar clan’s chieftain will wonder why you’re making such demands. How can you prevent him from dispatching spies over the mountain? When he finds out how badly the Ookami have been weakened by this disaster, he won’t send you tribute: he’ll send swords. Other clans will do the same.
You no longer have the strength to defeat them all, no matter how well you fight.”

He saw the terrible truth in my words. “Then what
can
I do, Lady Himiko?” he asked in desperation. “I have met with my counselors and taken stock of our supplies. Until the harvest comes, we will be facing very lean times. Many of our livestock died or ran away during the earthquake. The fish ponds cracked and drained before we could salvage them. There’s only so much we can gather from the forest, and because we need so many men to rebuild the houses, we can’t amass a decent-sized hunting party.”

“The men you planned to send to the boar clan—?”