Splintered (13 page)

“Come on now. Kathy’s my only sister. She’s excited about getting married in three weeks. Is it too much to ask for you to be a bridesmaid? Give her a break. She wants to spend more time with you, get to know you better.”

Emma thought “excited” was definitely an understatement. When Kathy had asked Emma to be her bridesmaid, the woman was over the top talking about all the details of her upcoming nuptials. To Emma, it reeked of desperation.

How could all that enthusiasm be genuine?

“She’d better not put me in some pink frou-frou dress.”

“Oh, stop it. Her colors are navy blue and silver, not pink. Anyway, think about how good you’ll look walking down the aisle on my arm. Me in my penguin suit and you in your frou-frou
blue
dress.”

Emma stepped into the elevator as the doors opened. “I can’t see wasting good money on a dress I’ll only wear once. It’s ridiculous.”

“Emma, try . . .”

What a shame, the line went dead.

“You made it!” Kathy clapped her hands in delight.

“I hope I didn’t keep you too long,” Emma said somewhat disingenuously.

Kathy waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. The clerk spent the extra time re-measuring me. I tell you, the seamstress says if I lose any more weight, I’m on my own. She refuses to make any more major alterations to my gown.”

Emma had to admit Kathy looked good. She hadn’t seen her in four months, but the woman had held true to her word that she’d lose weight before her wedding day. Her once-plump figure had transformed into a curvy hourglass shape.

“How much weight have you lost?”

“Sixty pounds. Can you believe it?”

“That’s great.”

“Look at you though. You’ve probably never had to worry about your weight.”

Emma caught her reflection in the mirror. Though her black, pixie-styled hair was a mess, she knew she looked good for thirty-nine. Weight had never been an issue for her, and she’d always had a lean five-foot-six frame. She could eat whatever she wanted but rarely remembered to. Most days she lived off energy drinks.

“Let me show you the bridesmaid dress.” Kathy took Emma’s arm and led her back to the changing room. A navy dress hung on the door. “Go try it on.” Kathy sat down on a couch situated near a bank of three angled, full-length mirrors. The space was large, clearly designed to cater to brides who wanted to show off their gowns to family members.

Emma grabbed the dress and stepped inside the changing room.

“So how’s work going?” Kathy called out to Emma. They were the only two customers in the bridal shop.

“Busy, as always. Sorry I missed the other fittings. I wouldn’t have left you hanging if I could have helped it.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know your job’s important. Ben’s always telling me how you’re working late. How are things going between the two of you, anyway?”

Emma stopped unzipping the dress. “Great. Why? Has he said something to you?”

“Oh, no. Of course not. I guess it’s just sisterly interest. You know, wondering how serious you guys are. All this matrimonial stuff makes me wonder when you two are going to tie the knot.” Kathy laughed.

Emma thought her remark sounded forced, as if Kathy was intentionally trying to keep a lighthearted tone. The question of marriage had come up between Ben and Emma a few times. So far, she’d been able to keep him at bay, but she didn’t know how long she could keep it up. He’d never been married and was itching to get her inside a church. Emma had already travelled down the aisle once before and wasn’t ready for a return trip.

“I can’t believe three weeks from now I’m going to be Mrs. Kathy Jenks. I only hope Andrew and I have as good of a marriage as my mother and father. Next June they celebrate their fortieth anniversary.”

Must be nice when marriage vows actually last a lifetime.

With two and a half years under her belt to reflect on her broken marriage, Emma had finally come to understand she’d only accepted her first husband’s proposal because she’d been afraid to lose him. Her gut had told her Mark wasn’t the one, but her heart had appealed. She’d felt it would be better to be with him than be alone.

If he hadn’t walked out, we’d probably still be married.

Emma had promised herself she’d work on her issues, would learn to be comfortable by herself. She hadn’t been looking for love when Ben Jacobs walked into her life, had even fought the feelings. Eventually though, she had fallen hard for him. Not long after, they moved in together. But Emma felt it important to put the brakes on the fast-moving train before a ring showed up on her finger. She didn’t want to repeat past mistakes.

“How’s the dress look?” Kathy asked.

Emma hastily pulled up the sleeves and reached around the back to fiddle with the zipper. Walking out of the dressing room, still thinking about the not-so-subtle marriage hints Ben had been dropping, Emma heard Kathy inhale sharply.

“What?” Emma looked around to see what had caused Kathy’s reaction.

“You look phenomenal.”

Emma turned to gaze at her reflection in the mirror. The skintight dress hugged her in all the right places. Navy chiffon flowed down the back in two long strips attached at each shoulder.

“This is a beautiful dress, Kathy. It really is.”

“Don’t sound so shocked. Bridesmaids shouldn’t be forced to buy a dress they’ll never wear again. I wanted to pick out something elegant but fashionable—a dress to wear at any upscale event. Of course, we’ll have to get yours hemmed.”

Emma looked down. The dress was meant to fall just over the top of her shoes, but the extra fabric gathered on the floor, encircling her.

“I’m glad you agreed to be my bridesmaid, Emma. I never had a sister. And I know your job doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room for get-togethers, so maybe we can use this time to have some fun and . . . grow closer.”

Emma saw the wistful look in Kathy’s eyes. She decided to cut her some slack, to unwind and enjoy the moment. Maybe absorb some of Kathy’s contagious happiness. After all, one day she
might
become her sister-in-law.

Emma nodded, smiling at Kathy’s reflection over her shoulder in the mirror. “That sounds nice.”

Kathy snapped her fingers. “I know. Let’s have a glass of champagne while the seamstress pins your dress. Then we can talk about the bachelorette party.”

Lily dropped Maddy off at school Friday morning. She watched as her daughter broke into a light jog on her way inside, darting around slower students then finally slipping in a side door. Uncomfortable silence had hung between them in the car like a heavy blanket, making Lily want to jump out and run away herself. She’d never seen Maddy in such a hurry to get to class. Lily couldn’t blame her.

During the drive, Lily had thought of opening lines. How she should place her hand lovingly on top of her daughter’s and say, “You have every right to be upset with me.” Yet every word Lily practiced in her head sounded like an empty platitude, more insincere bullshit. How could a mother express a lifetime of regret in a twenty-minute car ride?

Lily knew she had screwed up again. She’d lost her temper last night when all she had wanted to do was talk to Maddy. The conversation had started out fine. She knew she’d gotten through when Maddy rolled over to face her. Maddy had finally started opening up, but somewhere along the way a switch had flipped. Lily couldn’t figure out what wrong thing she’d said to make Maddy lash out.

That morning, Lily had been surprised to be awakened by the sounds of Maddy making herself breakfast. Then her daughter had asked for a ride to school. With the guilt of the previous night still weighing her down, Lily had agreed, though inwardly groaned at the thought of getting up so early. Yet, losing sleep would be a justified penance for what she’d said about Tom wanting nothing to do with his daughter.

As Lily stopped at a red light, she remembered one of the books she’d received at her baby shower,
What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
At the time, it was considered
the
bible on the subject of pregnancy. She wondered bitterly why there wasn’t a party thrown for mothers when their children turned into teenagers.

Now’s the time when I really need advice. Maybe a book to explain how to raise a defiant daughter, one who’s furious at the world because her father dumped her and ran out on his family. Or what about a book that discusses waking up one day to find your entire life turned upside down. Abandoned by a husband and friends; forced into a new job, a new home; alone with a teenager who’s acting out, unable to fix her or myself. Where’s the book containing those answers?

Lily knew if she didn’t fix the problems plaguing her family soon, the situation would become broken beyond repair. She had watched enough daytime talk shows to know fifteen was old enough to find drugs, or even worse, to find the bad boy with drugs. Next in line would be an unwanted pregnancy or Maddy running off with a boy.

If only there was a way to fix her like when she was a baby.

Lily didn’t know which was worse, then or now. She remembered every detail of that terrible day when her daughter was rushed from the doctor’s office to the local ER. The staff had decided Maddy would receive the best care in the NICU at All Children’s Hospital in St. Petersburg. Once there, she was quickly diagnosed with SVT. In simple terms, a fast heartbeat. At one point during the day, Lily saw the monitor record Maddy’s heart rate at over three hundred beats a minute—much faster than a normal baby’s rate of 160. Maddy had been in tachycardia for so long her organs had enlarged to twice their normal size.

Lily felt like she’d been kicked in the gut, and knew her daughter’s worsening health was her fault. If she’d just trusted her motherly instincts and taken Maddy to the ER when she first felt the nudge, the doctors would have caught the condition before her health had deteriorated so far. If Lily had waited even a few more hours, her daughter would have likely died.

Over a stretch of two weeks, doctors had worked at finding the right combination of medications to control Maddy’s SVT. Those fifteen days when she’d sat by her newborn’s bedside had been the longest of Lily’s life. Maddy looked so tiny with an IV tube coming out of her head—her skull had been the only place nurses could find a vein big enough to tap. To save her sanity, Lily had remained emotionally shut down. How could she not when she watched a nurse roll a heart defibrillator into the room on the off chance it might be needed to restart her daughter’s heart?

Lily had readied herself to lose Maddy. She thought if she could just put enough emotional distance between the two of them that if Maddy died, Lily just might make it through somehow. But Maddy fought her way back. She stayed on medication for eighteen months until the doctor weaned her off it, saying Maddy’s condition would either self-correct and go away or come back sometime after puberty started. The SVT had never returned, but Lily hadn’t stopped waiting for something to take Maddy away.

She thought again about taking Maddy to see a psychologist, but asking for help seemed like admitting defeat. Like Lily didn’t have her house in order, couldn’t deal with the pressures of raising a child by herself.

What kind of person would the doctor think I was? What kind of mother? A failure, that’s what.

Lily couldn’t deal with one more person labeling her a failure. She vowed to figure out a way to turn the situation around on her own.

Maddy may have given in and agreed to go to school that morning, but there was no way she was going to ride the bus. The day was going to be tough enough without having to sit through thirty extra minutes of torture. She could picture the scene as clearly as if she were walking up the steps of the bus: the kids shooting her hateful glances, moving toward the aisle in their seats to block her from sitting down. The old fart that drove the bus wouldn’t hear the foul words slung at her—he could barely even hear the honking horns whenever he swerved into neighboring lanes. He’d never notice the legs shooting out to trip her or the smacks to the head as she faced forward, counting the minutes until the bus made its final stop at school.

Maddy knew how vicious kids could be, had witnessed it rain down on other students who’d popped up on their radar for far lesser offenses. The girls were definitely more ruthless than the boys. She’d once watched Sabrina and a couple of her friends hold down a girl and chop the back of her hair off as a punishment for spreading rumors. They’d threatened to do worse if the girl ratted them out. It was a threat Maddy knew Sabrina would follow up on without a moment’s hesitation.

That had been part of the awe surrounding Sabrina. Maddy knew she wouldn’t hesitate to charge into battle for those lucky enough to be on her good side. Sabrina was fiercely protective and loyal, with a no-man-left-behind kind of code. Yet make the mistake of tripping into her crosshairs and there was no telling what the repercussions might be. Maddy could only hope the kids at school hadn’t heard the news of her deception. If she could just reach Sabrina first, explain the situation, maybe the girl wouldn’t feel so betrayed. Maddy would’ve ridden the bus just to plead her case with her at the bus stop that morning, but Sabrina had stopped riding once the story of the attempted abduction broke. A friend’s parent had been giving her a ride.

So Maddy had asked her mom to drive her to school. That way she could arrive before Sabrina and be sure to catch her. But after standing vigil at the side door for over twenty minutes she’d chewed her nails down to the quick—and Sabrina still hadn’t shown up.

Maddy looked down at her watch. She couldn’t wait any longer. The first bell would ring in seven minutes. She gave one last quick glance out the door. No luck. Maddy turned and headed toward her locker.

I’ll have to haul ass to get to my first class on time. I can’t afford another detention.

She wrinkled her nose at the noxious smell filling the hallway.

Fabulous, the toilet in the boys’ bathroom backed up again.