Splintered Memory (8 page)

***

Claire wished that she could go back in time and not tell Charlie about her pregnancy. She could’ve dealt with the situation on her own she said to herself. There was no reason that she always had to be so dependent on Charlie she thought angrily to herself. If she hadn’t relied on her then Charlie wouldn’t have been in Bath. If she hadn’t been in Bath then the accident couldn’t have happened. If the accident hadn’t happened then Charlie wouldn’t be in the hospital right now she told herself.

She started to cry. It was all her fault, and what was making her feel worse was the thought of the impact that her actions had obviously been having on Matt and Charlie’s relationship.

Claire believed without a doubt that she knew Charlie better than anyone. Yet she got the distinct impression, thinking about things now, that Charlie hadn’t recently been all that honest with her. She also got the sense that she’d been keeping things from Matt, and she wondered whether he’d known that Charlie had been coming to see her as frequently as she had over the past few weeks. Or for that matter, if he’d known that she’d been away from Birmingham at all.

Charlie was the most honest person that she knew
. It wasn’t like her to keep secrets, especially not from Matt. Claire knew, embarrassingly, that Charlie told him everything and vice versa. They just didn’t keep secrets from one another. So if Charlie had started to, then Claire could only assume that their relationship was in a bad way.

She wondered distractedly how much she was to blame for that, and if this had been the impetus behind Charlie’s seemingly sudden decision to want to start a family.

Mr
and Mrs Young arrived, along with Matt’s parents, a couple of hours after he’d called them. He hugged his mum tightly, and then Charlie’s mum hugged him.

“She’s still in surgery
,” he said to Charlie’s dad – Harry.

“How is she
?” Harry asked him.

“
Not great,” he said knowing that he shouldn’t downplay things and that he should tell them exactly what Oak had told him. Yet he didn’t want to worry them, and he knew that telling them that Charlie had been taken into surgery because she was bleeding internally would do just that.

Diane
, Charlie’s mum, began to weep. Matt looked at her, and he saw through misted eyes that his mum was comforting her.

“How are you Matthew?” H
is father asked him.

He went to answer but found that he was unable to speak. So instead
he just looked at his father and shook his head. His father gripped his shoulder, and his mum took his hand in hers.

“Matt
,” James said from behind him. “Why don’t you and your family wait at your house? You’re minutes from the hospital, and Charlie could be in surgery for hours.”

Matt nodded and said to his and Charlie’s parents; “
if you want to wait at the house that’s fine, and I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything, but I’m going to wait here for her. I want to be here for her when she comes round,” Matt said sounding braver and calmer than he felt.

“I’ll take the bags back
and park the car, and I’m sure that your mother and Diane could do with a drink,” his dad said; “but I assume Harry’ll want to wait here with you, and I’ll head back in a little while to wait with you as well.”

Harry shook Matt’s dad’s hand and sat down. Matt hugged his mum again, and then Diane hugged him once more, and he knew that for him – and for Harry too, it was now just a matter of waiting.

He sat down on the uncomfortable plastic seats, and he leant forwards resting his forearms on his thighs by his knees. He glanced at Harry and saw fear in his face. Matt felt terrible. Harry had given him his daughter, and he’d promised to protect her and keep her safe on the day that they’d married. Now she was here, in the hospital that he worked in, fighting for her life.

***

After Charlie had broken up with Rich, Matt hadn’t known how to be around her. He’d seen her in just her underwear, and now every time he saw her that was the image that came straight into his head. Rich also wasn’t speaking to him, and life suddenly seemed pretty lonely.

With no best friend
for company, and no Charlie to talk and laugh with, he’d started to spend all of his time cooped up in his room studying for his upcoming GCSE’s. He wanted to be a doctor, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to do that unless he got excellent exam results.

He knew that medicine wasn’t an easy option, and the careers advisor at school had already told him that university places were difficult to get.
He’d been warned that if he didn’t get good grades, then he wouldn’t get into a good university. If he didn’t go to a good university, then he wouldn’t get a good placement in which to do his residency.

As he began to despair
about his future, he heard a knock on his bedroom door. Yet whilst he was thankful for the interruption into his thoughts about his doomed future, he did wonder why either one of his parents were disturbing him. They knew that it was only two days before his first two exams, and they knew they were the two most important subjects for any wannabe doctor. He had chemistry in the morning followed by biology in the afternoon.

“
You have a visitor,” his mum said from outside his bedroom.

“I don’t care
,” he said gruffly. “I’m studying. Tell whoever it is to come back in six weeks when all my exams are over,” he added testily. But he felt instantly guilty when he heard a familiar voice.

“
That’s okay Mrs Grayson,” Charlie said; “I’ll just go.”

“Charlie
,” Matt said grabbing his bedroom door and pulling it open. His mum didn’t stop to watch the exchange, but merely turned her back and walked away leaving them to it.

Charlie stood
in his doorway looking sheepish, but after a few seconds she smiled and said; “hi.”

“Hi
,” he said.

“How’s the revision g
oing?” She asked.

He hadn’t answered, and all he’d been able to think about was kissing her.
She was here. She’d come to see him, and that had to mean something he kept telling himself. So without any further thought he’d just grabbed her face and kissed her. Unfortunately he knew that he’d made a mess of their first kiss. He’d not only banged his nose against hers, but he’d also hit his teeth against hers. So he was stunned, but also relieved when she’d started to kiss him back.

For the n
ext two years they’d been inseparable. They’d existed in a perpetual state of intimacy, and according to their friends they’d been painful to be around. Their parents had frowned on their relationship, Charlie’s more so than his – with Harry labelling him a distraction, and they’d each tried to blame the other parent’s child for the effect on theirs at school at a crucial time in their lives. Yet he and Charlie hadn’t cared, well he certainly hadn’t. He’d gotten everything that he’d ever wished for since the age of seven.

***

“Matt,” Oak said.

Matt
stood up, instantly pulled out of his own thoughts, and he saw Harry get to his feet as well.

Oak and Harry shook hands
, and Oak said matter of factly; “I’ve got news, but it’s not all good I’m afraid.”

M
att normally admired Oak’s straight talking approach, but right now he felt sick to his stomach again as he tried to anticipate what Oak was going to say next.

“The surgery went
well. They had to remove Charlie’s spleen,” Oak said; “but there were no further complications, and the neurosurgeon managed to stop the bleed in her brain.”

“That’s good, that all sounds good
,” Harry said sounding excited and relieved and looking from Oak to Matt and back to Oak again. He was clearly confused as to why this wasn’t all good news.

“She
hasn’t regained consciousness has she?” Matt asked before slumping back down onto the hard plastic chairs before he got the answer, and then once again leaning forwards to rest his forearms on his thighs and putting his face back into his hands.

“No
,” Oak said; “she hasn’t, and she’s still not breathing on her own either.”

“Oh god
,” Harry said. He too sat back down.

Matt
put his hand on Harry’s shoulder, and then he stood up again and said; “I want to see her.”

Oak nodded and Nurse Willis came into view
. It was obvious that she’d already been asked to come and escort Matt to Charlie’s room.

“I’m so sorry Matthew
,” she said.

“Call me Matt
,” he said in a deadened voice as he forced a lacklustre smile onto his face. He’d been saying this same thing to her continually since his first day at the hospital.

**
*

Everyone had said that they were too young to have the level of intensity that was evident in their relationship
, and the continual nay saying had made Matt nervous when he’d been getting ready to move to Birmingham to start university. Yet within the first couple of months he hadn’t known why he’d doubted himself, or why he’d doubted what he and Charlie had together.

Charlie
had come to visit him every weekend without fail, and she’d become friends with all of his uni friends in no time. She’d even gotten to know the girls that had lived in the flat above him in his halls of residence, and when she’d come to visit him and he’d been studying for exams she’d gone out with them to give him some peace and quiet.

He
’d known in that first year as their relationship had grown stronger, and had survived all the tests of distance, alcohol, teenage jealousy, and everything else, that he’d wanted to marry her. He just hadn’t been able to imagine his life without her in it.

In the summer break after his first year at uni, he’d gone to see Charlie’s father and he’d asked his permission to marry his daughter. Harry hadn’t been impressed, and whilst he had appreciated the traditional gesture he’d told Matt that his daughter was just too young.

When Matt had insisted, and had offered to accept any terms and conditions that Harry set, he’d caved in. He’d given his permission for Matt to marry his daughter, but he had had one condition. He’d told Matt that he had to wait until Charlie was twenty one before he asked her.

In the lead up to Charlie’s twenty first birthday, Matt had felt like he was sixteen again. He had been nervous and unsure of himself around her once more, and she’d had no idea why.

He’d also spent the three years leading up to her twenty first birthday saving up all the money that he’d earned from summer jobs to buy her an engagement ring. Although it had still only been with the help of his dad and Harry – who’d both made contributions to his savings, that he’d been able to afford to buy her a ring that he’d thought that she’d like.

Matt had
planned a romantic night for her birthday, and he’d been getting increasingly nervous throughout the day. He’d checked on the ring a dozen times. He’d tried to kill time, and he’d even gotten his mum to iron three different shirts for him, but he’d still been unable to settle. So he’d finally decided to jump in the shower hoping that this would clear his head.

He’d
turned the shower on, but no sooner had he got in than he heard a loud squeal from his bedroom. He grabbed a towel and dashed into his room, but he stopped dead in his doorway. Charlie was stood by his chest of drawers holding the ring box open in her hands. She was also surrounded by clean laundry, and he assumed that his mum must have given it to her to bring upstairs with her. He guessed that she’d dropped it though when she’d opened his drawers to put his things away for him, and had seen the ring box that he’d been hiding in his sock drawer.

She glanced at him apologetically
, and he felt his heart sink thinking that she was going to say no, but then she ran towards him and his arms instinctively wrapped around her. Her lips found his, and he could feel the intensity in her kiss. Yet he slowly pulled back from it, and from her.

“Is that a yes
?” He asked nervously.

“Yes,
” she said smiling and kissing him again; “it’s definitely a yes.”

***

It had been six days since Charlie had come out of surgery, and Matt was sat at her bedside. He’d been by her side almost continuously since he’d been shown to her room, and he was still refusing to listen to any talk of her never regaining consciousness or what state she might be in if she did. He had refused to talk about options, and he had refused to go home without her.

Harry had tried to step in on a
few occasions to make him see reason, and to ask what he should do as Charlie’s father, but Matt had finally lost his temper on day four. He had yelled that he had no understanding of the situation or the medicine, and that his opinion didn’t matter anyway. Legally speaking, as her husband he made her medical decisions whilst she couldn’t.

Harry had tried to talk to Oak about Matt’s behaviour, but Oak had said that whilst Matt was being unreasonable he was correct in saying that Charlie’s medical decisions were his to make.