Splitsville.com (3 page)

When you are so mad at your man that you can’t decide whether you want to kiss him or you don’t want to kiss him and it usually leads to great make up sex is what I’ve dubbed “the I love you, no wait, I hate you.” This can be a very stratifying experience.

Meat eater is definitely a Hard Kiss. I don’t know what he thinks he’s teaching me by his nastiness, but I find he’s totally not my type. Still, he paid his money and it’s all for the dogs, right?

“Don’t waste your money, man,” the meat eater says to the next guy in line.

His words sting a little. I try to get a better attitude, and look at my next victim. He’s pretty cute and I decide I can chalk this up to research and really test out my kissing list first hand. It’ll be great if I can say to a dumpee, “He’s dumping you because your kisses are slobbery. I know. I’ve researched it.”

Yum! I smile, thinking my next victim will taste as rich and dreamy like Dove chocolate. The closer he gets, the tastier he looks. His gazes lingers for a moment too long, making me look away. I can’t stare for fear of drowning in his deep dark eyes or seeing an aura that can ruin it for me.

“What exactly do I get for my money?” The tall, handsome man with perfect cheekbones puts his hand on mine, the five dollar bill attached to his palm.

I jerk my hand at the lightning bolt that zips through my body and his aura jumps out completely surrounding him.

His mouth flinches up in the corners to a full smile, like he’s well aware of the emotion he’s giving me.

“Duh,” I sputter, doing anything to get my mind out of the gutter because he’s completely blue. “Can’t you read?” I point my finger up to the sign among the balloons.

I close my eyes to see if, when I reopen them his aura will change.

Damn! Still blue.

He steps back and tilts his head up. “Kissing booth, five dollars.” I hear his words cross those lips and suddenly
I’m
willing to pay to kiss
him
.

“Okay,” he states blankly, replacing the five with a ten spot.

I close my eyes. I hold my hands up to my chest in fear he’ll be able to feel my powerfully pounding heart. I want this to be over. Secretly I wonder what he thinks of a girl who’d offer herself up in this capacity. 

All my coherent thinking flies out the window as I lean in with a not so much pucker lips and kiss him. I freeze, unsure what to do next. My lips linger against his and he kisses me back.

The tip of my nose tingles as I smell his scent. It falls over me and leaves a trail as he pulls away.

For my research, I decide that he definitely used The Pehhhck method. I rock back on my heels with my lips rubbing together as though I’m trying to absorb every fiber of his kiss into my soul.

“Come on, buddy,” the next guy in line yells. “Move it or get a room!”

Oh crap! My eyes open and I find him staring at me. This is not a normal kiss, for a kissing booth, that is.

“Thanks,” I say, but I really want him to say something. “The animals appreciate it.” I blush realizing how stupid I sound.

He holds up his fingers. “I paid for two.”

I blush. I look beyond him. “He paid for two,” I confirm to the waiting line behind him and we lean in toward each other.

Three

There has to be a relationship between pheromones and kissing. Time has passed and my mood from this morning is drastically different from what it is now.

I admit, I didn’t want to work in the kissing booth, but it’s been fun. I’ve mainly only had a peck here and a hand shake there. More importantly everyone wants to give money for the animals. Even the girlfriends of the guys kissing me don’t seem to don’t mind since it’s all going to a good cause.

Don’t misunderstand me, I do get some nasty stares.

“It’s for a good cause,” I holler at the lady who tips her nose up at my booth.

“Ah, the good ole’ kissing booth.” The suave neatly coiffed blonde-haired hunk, is walking next to the booth with his mutt and another guy whose baseball cap is pulled down over his eyes.

I walk around the booth, and since it’s five minutes until quitting time and no one’s in line, I figure it’s time to shut down the lip business. “Hey, buddy.” I point to the fluffy dog. “What’s his name?”

I look back and forth at the two, and notice the one with the cap doesn’t look my way.

“Tramp.” The blonde guy bends down next to me as we stroke his dog. “Or at least that’s what his papers say.” He pulls the adoption papers out of his pocket.

“Oh good.” I’m a little uncomfortable being close to this guy. I don’t know what the vibe is, but I know it’s not good. He stares at me in a creepy way. I stand up and take a step back, every break-up I’ve done racing through my mind. Do I recognize his guy? Is that what the vibe is? Is he a disgruntled dumpee? Has he tracked me down?

“How’s business?” He refers to the booth behind me.

I take a couple steps back to put some distance between us. “It was fine.”

The light radiating between the two men is not good. I’ve only sensed this type of aura once before. No, no please. I steady myself against the booth and close my eyes.

When I was a teenager, a little boy went missing. I dreamed of him in a scary basement. When I woke, Aunt Matilda wrote down all the details and took it to the police. Afterward the police found him in that same basement. From then on the police called upon Aunt Matilda to help them with crimes their department had problems solving. Only,
I
was the one helping them, they just didn’t know it.

When they put the boy’s kidnapper in a line up, Aunt Matilda had to go in and tell them if he was in the vision—totally unusable in a court of law, but helpful anyway. Even though the police objected, she took me. She didn’t want them to know I was the one who had the vision. But she was determined that all the bad guys got put behind bars since the love of her life turned out to be a thief who got away with it. She was a big believer in paying it forward even if it meant bringing me to the police station. I’ll never forget the moment I laid eyes on that man. His aura popped up –
magenta
.

“Was?” The perfect blonde specimen looks at his watch, and then peers at me. “You have a few minutes left.” He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a five. I blink, hoping the auras will go back to their normal colors. But when I open my eyes, they’re still the same. These guys’ auras aren’t pure magenta, but a combination of yellow and violet. I’m having a hard time reading them, but I know they’re not good.

I gather my belongings. “I’m sorry. The booth is closed.” I turn around relieved to see Erin walking towards me. I point at her. “See. She’s coming to collect the money.”

He steps back and hands me the money. “Keep it. It’s for charity.”

“Uh, hi.” Erin’s eyes dart nervously between me and the guy. “Uh, I’ve been looking all over for you.” She continues with a faint grin. Oh no. I’ve seen that look before. Is this another loser in her notched up bedpost? Her smile fades slightly.

My head is pounding, the auras of all the men at the kissing both colliding like bumper cars in my mind. I need my house, where there are no kaleidoscopic auras. Or maybe dinner.

“I’ve been right here, all day.” I hurry to grab my purse. Definitely dinner, I decide because I can’t wait to tell Erin about this guy’s aura. But when I turn back around, Erin and evil eyes are in their own lip lock. Her crystal aura is now completely matching his violet one.

My heart drops to my feet. Oh. My. God. Erin. . .and. . .this guy? No wonder she’s acting all nervous. She better not use Splitsville.com again. One of these days I hope she’ll find the right guy.

The time I told Erin about my little “gift” zips into my pounding head. She hadn’t taken it well. “You mean you’re a freak?” she asked. This was not the reaction I’d hoped for. Her words still burn. 

“No,” I spat out. “I have a gift.” 

Her eyebrows had angled into a V and she peered at me like I really was a freak. “So you’re saying you can see an aura around me right now?”

I nodded. “Yes, Erin, I can see your crystal aura.” I jammed my hands on my hips. “I don’t get why you’re angry.”

“I don’t believe you.”

I hadn’t wanted to, but I gave her proof by telling her about the time her high school boyfriend cheated on her.

She gawked at me. “Great, so you’re going to know what I’m thinking or feeling before I do,” she said after she got over the shock of her cheating ex. She’d been absolutely right. Erin has very few secrets from me.

Her reaction then hadn’t been welcome. She’d thought I was a freak and started calling me her “freak friend” as a joke, but it had hurt and I don’t want to relive that now by telling her that her boyfriend is a Romeo. By the way she is acting, she definitely won’t want to hear anything I have to say.

Erin pulls away. “I see you met Kent,” she says hesitantly. He, on the other hand, looks like he’s holding a prize trophy. Erin is obviously his Heisman.

I look at Kent then back to Erin and ask, “So is this
your
Kent?” I’d hope the last break up would’ve made her come to her senses. But with his aura, I don’t think she has. I peak around them to see his friend continuing to walk away from us.

Interesting. I watch Kent’s aura fade from magenta to yellow to violet. He’s not crystal like Erin. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I make a mental stickie to ask Matilda what it means.

“Yes, uh, we met.” He smiles like the cat with a feather in his mouth. Somehow he seems to know I won’t tell her how creepy he is. “She was petting my little boy.”

The lines between Erin’s brows squeeze in tension and she points towards Kent’s friend. “Was that…”

Kent interrupts, “Timmerman, yeah. He’ll catch up with us later. He’s got to go somewhere.” We all look.

“I like Tramp,” I say to break the tension. I bend down to rub the bushy eyebrows out of his face. I want to make sure his aura is okay even though his rough, shaggy fur is indicative to Irish Wolfhounds. “He seems like a nice dog.” I smile when his aura tells me he’s happy to be out of the kennel.

Erin fidgets with the strap on her purse. “Isn’t he great?” I wonder who she’s referring to, Kent or Tramp? “Kent adopted him today,” she adds. Like she’s a sales person and her client is her boyfriend. Only I’m not buying. Kent may have Erin fooled, but his aura tells me the truth about him.

“Yeah, great.” I pat Tramp on the head and want to shake the shit out of Erin. Her boyfriend is a snake, and all her fidgeting makes me wonder if she doesn’t think so, too.

“I’m talking about Kent.” She shrugs and wraps her arms tightly around his waist. He bends down to kiss her. She casts her eyes on me looking for my approval—another look I’ve seen one too many times. “We have to get going.”

Erin’s hands grasp Kent’s and she pulls him towards the parking lot.

“Wait!” I put my hands up. One payoff to my volunteering is her taking me to dinner. “I thought we’re going to eat.” I can sit through a dinner with Kent, I think. I need food!

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to getting to know you,” he says with a wink. “I’d like to see if everything Erin tells me is true. How wonderful you really are.”

What the heck was that wink about? My distaste for this guy is growing at a steady rate, but my hunger pains are faster.

Erin begins to fumble. “I…I thought you might be tired and…” she says to me. 

I rub my temples. “I am, but I’m hungry.”

She knows what it means when my thumbs massage my temples. “You should probably go home.”

“I’m hungry,” I say again. She’s not getting off the hook that easy. I need to spend a little more time with Kent to figure out what his game is. But suddenly Erin lunges and grabs the arm of a guy walking by. I stare. The arm of the cute guy who paid for two kisses. The one with the unbelievable blue aura.

“Hey Erin!” he says. “Great job today.” The guy gestures around the park. “I think we beat last year.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks. Um, Bradley, this is Olivia.” She continues to hold his arm and nods towards me. “The Olivia I was telling you about.”

I guess she didn’t tell him anything good, because he looks as perplexed as I feel. She’s never mentioned Bradley to me or described him. I would’ve remembered that.

“Umm…” Bradley seems a little flustered. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you talking about...”

“Olivia, this is Bradley,” she blurts, interrupting him.

“Yeah,” I say. “We’ve already been intimate.” All the color flushes from my cheeks and I smile knowing my aura is reflecting my bashful feelings. “It was
memorable
.”

He laughs. “Yes it was.” He flashes a crooked grin. “That’s why I paid for two kisses.” He holds up two fingers.

“Great.” Erin steps between us. “I knew you two would hit it off.” She puts her finger on her cheek. “I have a great idea. You two should go to dinner!”

My eyebrows cross. “What?” Erin completely catches me off guard. I have never seen her like this. I’m not used to her pushing me away. “But I thought…”

I hope it’s not too late. Has she fallen hook, line and sinker for this guy?

“You two will have a great time.” She hooks her arm through Kent’s arm and hurries towards the parking lot.

“But…” I throw my hands up in the air. I definitely don’t want to be a third wheel, but I do want dinner. I watch Erin walk away and resist the urge to yell, “Be smart! Don’t do this again. Why are you treating me this way?” But I don’t. Maybe my instincts are off today from all the kissing. Or maybe my instincts are on high alert due to Dabi’s murder. Maybe Kent needs another chance. Maybe.

“Well,” Bradley gestures towards the parking lot and continues, “I’m game if you are?”

I’ve studied every man in my life trying to find the one with the true blue aura until I’ve become blue in the face. Men with blue auras live from their hearts. They are the ones to hold on to and not let go: the nurturers, the caretakers. No wonder he’s at the SPCA event—totally a blue thing to do.

I shake my head. “Oh no, don’t worry, I’m not going to hold you to it. Obviously Erin didn’t want me to go with them.”

He shrugs and then he crams his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. He jerks his head flipping his floppy brown hair to the side and exposing his dark eyes. “I really would like to grab a bite to eat with you. Or are your lips too sore?” He laughs like it’s the funniest joke, but the thing is, my lips really
are
sore.

“Funny.” I laugh, wishing I had Erin’s sexy chuckle. “All that kissing did make me hungry. I wonder how many calories I burned today.”

“Too many, I bet. Let’s see if we can put some of those calories back.” He nods his head towards the parking lot again.

Maybe if you feed me chocolate cake. Without a word, I follow him to the lot. I love the way his pants drag the top of his feet, only his toenails exposed from his flip flops. His mop-top shaggy hair is begging me to run my hands through it, or maybe it’s the other way around.

“Want to ride with me?” Bradley asks. I follow his toned tan bicep down to his finger, which is pointing to a tan convertible Mini Cooper. No wonder he’s already golden. Why is he not taken? Hmm?

I hesitate, but only for a second. “Sure.”

He smiles, opening my door. “I guess we should introduce ourselves since we’ve already been to first base.”

Handsome, great kisser, awesome car. . .and witty.

“Are you a serial killer?” I question, half joking, half serious. The good old girl in me knows I should never get in a car with a stranger, but I don’t feel like he’s a stranger. Especially since we’ve locked lips.

“No. I just want to buy you dinner.” He shuts the door and walks around the car. “I usually don’t get to first base until a few dates in, but we can do this a little backwards.”

I can’t believe I’m in a car with a stranger. Well, practically a stranger. I put my head down and silently pray that I make it home alive. I admit, it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but somehow it feels right. I sneak a peek at him. His aura doesn’t tell me otherwise. Still blue. Even the throbbing in my head has subsided.

“How about Pete’s?” Bradley is referring to the only pizza joint in town.

And on a Saturday night I know it will be packed. That’s okay. I’d love for everyone in town to see me with this tall glass of water.

“Pete’s is great.” I look out the window. He might stop the car, open the door, and kick me out if he sees the excitement in my face.

Pete’s Pizzaria is on the other side of town. Even though my stomach is grumbling, I have a secret wish that we get stopped by all red lights through town. Being in the car next to a blue aura is a dream come true and I’m not ready to wake up.

“How do you know Erin again?” Bradley zooms under the yellow light right before it turned to red.

I adjust myself so I’m not completely staring at him. “We’ve been friends for a long time.”

A few minutes later, and some fast driving, we pull into the parking lot of Pete’s Pizzaria and park in the front.

“I hope you like pizza.” He turns the engine off and we get out.

Of course I do, what red-blooded woman doesn’t? “Sure, it’s fine.” I play cool. I avoid looking at all the people and seeing all the auras. Panic creeps through me, but I bury it. “Why did you come to the kissing booth?” I ask while we stand in line for a table. It’s a valid question for a hot dude.