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“I do understand. That was a big reason why I didn’t want them published. I tried to take a stand
because
I believe that entertainment journalism can be ethical. Someone just pulled the trigger before I could stop them.” She waited a moment before continuing. “Are they all right?”

Nate shrugged. “I haven’t heard from either of them. Daniel filmed another action sequence today, so I don’t think he’s heard about it yet.” His eyes once again turned to her. “I hate that you’re in the middle of this.”

“Me, too.” Lily took a deep breath before posing her next question. “So where does this leave us?”

“I wish I knew,” he whispered.

Tears filled Lily’s eyes again. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you over this.”

“Me either, but . . . maybe we should take a break.”

A chill ran down Lily’s spine. “What?” she breathed out.

“I think we should take a break,” he repeated, his words stronger this time, but still holding an edge of uncertainty.

A flare of anger, intense but quickly extinguished, coursed through her. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I think I am.”

Lily’s tears spilled over. “You’re leaving me?”

“I don’t
want
to leave you,” he said, crouching in front of where she sat curled in her chair. He placed a hand on her cheek, his thumb tracing the track of her tears. “But this isn’t the first time your job has come between us, Lily, and I just . . . I need time to deal with all the extra work this has created before I can even begin to think about what it might mean for you and me.”

His words hit her with the force of a wrecking ball. She’d hoped that he would see reason, but now she knew he was resolved.

“You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”

Nate shook his head and stood, hesitating a moment before walking slowly toward the door. She followed, not even trying to slow her tears. Nate reached for the doorknob but stopped and turned to face Lily, who stood behind him with her arms wrapped around herself. He leaned in and kissed her lips one last time.

He pressed his forehead against hers, making her shudder. “Bye, Lily. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”

She wanted to scream that he was making a mistake, but the finality of his words made her feel numb with shock. Eyes closed, she nodded, suppressing her sobs.

He kissed her forehead before leaving and closing the door.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Outside Lily’s apartment, Nate sat in his Mercedes, his head against the steering wheel as he struggled just to breathe. When he finally made it home that night, he stayed awake, unable to sleep. His mind kept turning over the events of the previous day. Part of him felt betrayed, but another part of him ached to be comforted by the woman he still loved—and to comfort her in return. It pained him to see her hurting, but he knew that if he went back to her, he wouldn’t be strong enough to leave again.

When his phone rang the next morning, Nate was tired, grumpy, and not at all looking forward to talking to the person calling.

“Hello, Daniel,” he said, his voice still thick with emotion and exhaustion.

“Were you going to tell me about this?”

Daniel’s blunt tone caused Nate to bark out a sardonic laugh. “Yeah. I planned on calling you when I got to the office.”

“Well, what happened?” Daniel asked impatiently.

Nate took a deep breath before beginning. “The studio sent the photos to FilmInsanity.com, giving them the exclusive. They went up on the site at some point yesterday morning.”

“Great.” Nate didn’t miss the sarcasm in his tone. “Lily wasn’t the one who posted them, was she?”

Even half-asleep, Nate caught Daniel’s hesitance to lay the blame at Lily’s feet. “She says she didn’t.”

“And you don’t believe her?”

Nate sighed. “Do you?”

“I don’t have a reason
not
to believe her.”

“How can you be so calm about this?”

Daniel laughed bitterly. “It’s not the first time it’s happened, and I’m certain it won’t be the last. And if FilmInsanity.com hadn’t posted them, someone else would have. These things tend to go away faster if I—and you, too—don’t make a big deal about them. You know that. Besides, I’m not the one who has to answer all the questions.”

Nate could practically see Daniel’s smirk and rolled his eyes. “Thanks a lot, man.”

“That’s why I pay you the big bucks—damage control.”

Nate sighed. “Speaking of, I have to call the studio about this. Lily said someone there sent the photos to her, and I want to know who it was.”

“Did you get a name from her?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Nate cleared his throat before answering. “Well, we got into a fight, and I told her I wanted to take a break. From the two of us.”

Daniel’s exasperated sigh came across the phone lines loud and clear. “You broke up with her?”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Nate said.

“I get where you’re coming from, believe me, but . . . you’re an idiot.”

Nate felt the same anger he’d felt the day before. “How can you say that? She could have given us some warning. She should have called the moment the studio contacted her.”

“Look, Nate, I’m not saying that I’m fine with this. I’m pretty pissed off about it, actually. It sucks that someone I consider a friend is involved in this mess, and of course I wish those photos hadn’t been posted. But Lily didn’t take them.”

Nate frowned. “No, but—”

“I’m not going to argue with you here, man. You need to take some time to cool off. And then you need to think long and hard about whether or not you’re willing to lose her over this.”

“Fine,” Nate agreed, only to avoid argument. “In the meantime, I’ll keep issuing the
no comments
.”

“Good. And let me know what you find out when you call the studio.”

The next few days blurred together.

Nate tried to focus on going through the motions—work, eat, sleep, repeat. He acted as though nothing happened, and those who didn’t know him probably saw very little change. They didn’t notice that his normally straight tie sat just a little crooked, or that his hair seemed more uncooperative than usual. He rarely looked anyone in the eyes, which suited him fine because he didn’t want anyone commenting on the dark circles under them.

Lily fared no better. Makeup did little to camouflage her red, swollen eyes in the days after Nate left her. She ran through everything black in her closet, dressing to match her mood. She even tied her hair back with a black elastic at the nape of her neck. She didn’t care that the combination made her skin appear paler than normal.

At the office, Olivia had noticed that something was different that very first morning.

“Everything okay?” she had asked.

Lily had simply shaken her head. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she mumbled.

She’d retreated to her office, ignoring Olivia’s attempted apology, and closed the door. She hoped her coworkers would simply leave her alone. All she wanted was to do her work and go home, back to the comfort of her bed.

A few days later, she attended a screening of an upcoming horror movie and wrote a couple of pieces about the film. The subject matter did little to distract her. With her phone set on silent, she checked it frequently, hoping to hear something—anything—from Nate. She tried not to be disappointed each time her notifications remained empty.

After she finished her last story, she did a quick check of her e-mail. One new message sat in her in-box, and her stomach immediately filled with knots. With a heavy sigh, she opened it.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: photos

Lily,

I’m not even going to pretend I’m okay with what happened with the photos. It pisses me off that your site not only published leaked pictures, but also led the charge, so to speak.

All right. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s move on.

Nate said you told him you didn’t post the pictures yourself. I want you to know that I believe you. I’m frustrated, but I’ll tell you the same thing I told Nate—you’ve never given me a reason not to trust you. I’m doing my best to remember that, since whoever put the photos on your site clearly doesn’t realize how things like that affect my life.

So tell me what happened. Nate mentioned that you fought and he said you two should take a break? I told him that he’s an idiot (yes, that’s a direct quote) because as mad as I am about those photos going out, it’s not worth the two of you breaking up. I guess he feels like you’ve betrayed his trust—for reasons that aren’t your fault—and can’t see beyond that right now.

Give him time, though. I don’t like this any more than he does, but I’m absolutely certain it won’t be the last time something like this happens, and you two need to find a way to work around it.

DB

Lily reread Daniel’s e-mail three times. She never expected Daniel, of all people, to reach out to her. She assumed he would take Nate’s side. By the time she hit the reply button, something akin to hope had bloomed in her heart. It was very faint—a pinpoint of light at the end of a very long, very dark tunnel—but it was there.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE: photos

Daniel,

Thank you. For believing me. For sticking up for me with Nate. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you never wanted to speak to me again after talking to him.

And I cannot apologize enough. I’m truly, profoundly sorry this happened the way it did. I didn’t want the photos of the two of you to be published. The studio sent them—you probably know that they sometimes purchase set photos taken by paps to control the flow of information—and gave us the exclusive until the next day.

I talked it over with the other senior writer at my office, and we agreed to wait until the next morning. When I got to work, I suggested posting the photos with the exception of the shots of you and Sam. But it was too late; they were already up on the site. I don’t know who published them, but I do know that the New York staff received the photos as well. My guess is that someone working late there put them on the site.

At this point, though, does it even matter who clicked the “Publish” button? Nate feels betrayed.

Yes, he did say that he wanted to take a break from the two of us, and I’m being respectful and giving him the space he requested. I haven’t heard from him, and I haven’t tried to contact him. Is he all right?

I love him, Daniel, and I don’t want to lose him over this. I just don’t know if that’s up to me.

Lily

PS: Getting to know you has given me a lot of reason to reevaluate our policies here. Typically, we don’t question whether or not to post information when it comes from an official source. But perhaps we should.

His reply waited for her the next morning.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE: photos

Lily,

Thank you for your apologies and explanation. I appreciate you taking my privacy into account. As I said to Nate, this wasn’t the first time, and we all know it won’t be the last. It’s something that will always be there. We just have to find a way to not let it affect us personally. I’ve had much more practice at that than you and Nate. Don’t worry, I’m happy to give you both pointers whenever you ask.

He’s as okay as I imagine you are. He’s hurting but functioning. Be patient, and I think things will work out between the two of you.

In the meantime, take care of yourself.

DB

The corners of Lily’s lips twitched at the thought of Daniel playing couple’s counselor. It was the first pseudo-smile to grace her face in days.

Maybe things
will
be okay
, she thought, allowing herself a small measure of optimism.