Squire's Quest (31 page)

Great God, what have I done?

As soon as the thought came, he banished it.
I'll not regret this day,
he
promised her silently.
Neither will you, if I have anything to do about it.

Bescherer's Saloon and Restaurant, where Abner had found work, had let them have an
alcove off the dining room for their dinner. Most of the 'skinners chose to head for the bar, where
Merlin had arranged for a keg to be broached. Abner, the whole Simpson family, Mrs.
Trueblood, Murphy and Jeb all sat down with them for dinner. Everyone was in a merry mood.
Laughter rang all around as they found their chairs.

Cal was chewing on her lip again, he noticed when they were seated side by side. He
reached for her hand, and found it clenched tightly on her lap. "What's wrong?" he whispered, as
he leaned close.

"Nothing," she whispered back. "I just... This is..." She shook her head. "It's too much.
Everything happened so fast."

"Too much excitement," he decided. "Do you want to leave now?"

"Oh, no. That wouldn't be fitting. We have to stay. We're the hosts."

"You're sure?" He'd much rather get on their way back to the cabin. It was already
midafternoon. By the time they got there it might be time for bed.

She turned to him with a smile, but it was only on her mouth, not in her eyes. "I'll be
fine. And you promised me champagne."

"I did. It ought to be coming along any time now."

Sure enough, a waiter came in bearing a napkin-wrapped bottle. Behind him was
another, carrying a bucket with snow packed around a second bottle. The first man made a
ceremony of opening his bottle, and when the cork came free with a loud
POP
,
everyone cheered.

Murphy stood when the glasses were all filled. "Folks, I've never been a best man
before, nor am I likely to be one ever again, given the life I lead, but this time it was an honor.
Let's all wish Mr. and Mrs. Merlin Lachlan a long and happy life together." He held his glass
aloft until everyone had followed suit. "You treat her right, Merlin, or I'll tan your hide."

Merlin noticed everyone but Abner and Mrs. Trueblood sipping cautiously at first.
Abner's nephews both made faces and set their glasses down, and their mother quickly slid them
toward the center of the table. He stood in turn. "Folks, we thank you for your friendship and
your help." Everyone drank again, including Cal, who was wide-eyed at her first taste.

She looked up at him. "It's delicious. And it tickles."

Laughter rippled around the table. Merlin waited them out. "I believe Cal is in danger,
even now, so I'm asking for you all to keep your eyes peeled and your ears open. If you hear of
anyone asking about her, or just asking about women new to town, or bakers, or anything else
that might be about her, tell me. We'll be moving on as soon as Murphy can find someone to take
over my job, but until then I want to be sure she's safe. I know I can count on you all."

He raised his glass to them. "A man's wealth is measured by the friends he has. I'm rich.
No,
we're
rich." After he'd drained his glass, he sat down and leaned toward Cal. "I've
heard tossing the glass into the fireplace makes a toast a binding vow. 'Spose we ought to do
that?"

"You're crazy. These fancy glasses must've cost a fortune."

He had to chuckle. "My frugal wife. We'll never go hungry as long as you watch my
purse."

His wife. That was starting to sound better all the time. And pretty soon she'd be truly
his wife. He could hardly wait.

Callie had a pretty good idea of what happened between a man and a woman. At least
she knew what went where, and the man's thing had to be swollen and hard when he stuck it in.
She'd been told, more than once, that men in rut were like buffalo in stampede, impossible to
stop and caring little for what the woman wanted. From what her ma had said, and the warnings
Mrs. Flynn had given her, she couldn't think of a single reason for a woman to marry besides
wanting babies.

And protection. She'd like babies someday, but right now she'd settle for the
protection.

Merlin was silent as he drove them to the cabin in the buggy Murphy had rented. So was
she, for she couldn't for the life of her think of anything to say. If she opened her mouth she was
going to blurt out how scared she was.

Maybe I should have let him do it when he first said something. Then I wouldn't
have had time to think on it.
She stole a peek at him from the corner of her eye. His jaw was
set and a muscle near his temple twitched now and then.
I'll bet he's grinding his
teeth.

Pa ground his teeth when he was mad. She started feeling sick.
Merlin promised
he'd never take a hand to me
.
Will he remember?

A light shone from the cabin window and smoke drifted from the chimney. "Somebody's
there," she said, and was scared again.

"I asked Tom Ainsworth to see to it. He doesn't drink, so he didn't mind missing the
party with the other teamsters." The buggy took the corner smartly. "Do you mind coming to the
barn with me?"

"No, of course not. I can help you brush the horses down."

"I'd be obliged."

My, we are being polite.
In a way she was relieved to have something to do.
When they got into the cabin, they'd be alone. She was his wife. His to do with as he wished.
Merlin had never given her any reason to distrust him, but still...

Once the horses were stabled, brushed and fed, and the milking done, there was nothing
more to keep them from the cabin. "Cal, I want you to wait here. I'll be right back."

Before she could protest, he'd picked up the milk bucket and headed for the cabin. He
was inside for several minutes before he came back. "Come."

She gave him her hand. They walked together, not quite side by side, along the narrow
cleared path. Her green skirts brushed snow on either side, but it was frozen hard now and didn't
stick to the velvet. Just short of the steps he stopped.

"Wait." He opened the door, let it swing inwards.

And then he picked her up.

"Merlin! What are you doing?"

He swung her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her. "Carrying my bride across
the threshold. It's a tradition. Kick the door closed, will you?"

She did, and heard the latch fall into place. "Aren't you going to bar it?"

"In a minute." His arms tightened and he nudged her chin up. His tongue prodded her
closed lips. When she gasped, he explored, his tongue tip probing behind her teeth, tangling with
hers. In and out it went, the motion sending shivers of excitement through her.

After a long while, he drew back, leaving her trembling. "Um, let's take care of the door.
And take our coats off. And maybe have some more champagne."

She looked beyond him to the table. On it sat a bucket holding a champagne bottle. Two
of the fragile glasses sat beside it, along with a napkin-covered tray.

His hands clasped her shoulders. "I'll take your coat, milady wife." His voice was deeper
than usual, almost gravelly. When her arms were free, he planted a quick kiss on her neck, just
behind her ear.

Shivers scrabbled up and down her spine and along both arms, even though the cabin
was warmer than they usually kept it. Or felt that way, anyhow.

His coat joined hers on the pegs beside the door. Once again she admired how he looked
in his black suit, every bit as elegant as any of the gentlemen who'd come into Lambert House
for dinner. Except they hadn't had a tail of waving blond hair hanging behind.

I'm sure glad he didn't have it cut off.

Instead of coming back to her, he went to the table and opened the champagne. She
loved how it popped when the cork came out. At her first taste, she'd wondered why anyone
would drink such sour stuff, but then the taste had changed as she swallowed, leaving her mouth
with a fruity, tangy memory. She'd only had two glasses at the party despite wanting more, for
Merlin had warned her its effects could sneak up on her before she knew it.

"Do you want me drunk now?" Her voice held a note of suspicion, one she'd have given
anything to have kept back when his smile faded.

Holding a full glass out to her, he said, "I want to toast our marriage again. One sip is
enough, if that's all you want. But it wouldn't hurt either one of us to relax a bit. This has been an
exciting day."

He raised his glass and waited for her to do likewise. "Calista Lachlan, I made a promise
to love and honor you, to live with you and cherish you, to be faithful to you, for all the days of
my life. I also pledge to protect you from danger to the best of my ability. I mean every word,
wife of mine."

She looked at him over the rim of her glass. He'd said he'd love her, but he'd never said
he
loved
her.
I can deal with that,
she decided,
for he's a good man, and I
love him enough for both of us.
"And I pledge to love, honor, cherish and obey you, to be
faithful to you, forsaking all others. I will, Merlin. I
will
forsake all others."

They both drank, looking deeply into each other's eyes. This vow was the important one,
the one that made them truly married.

He grinned then, that mischievous expression she loved so well, and flung his
champagne glass into the fireplace, where it shattered. Looking at her, he raised his
eyebrow.

Much as she wanted to keep the lovely glass, she drew back her arm and threw her glass
after his. Hadn't he said doing it made their vows unbreakable?

* * * *

Once the food Tom had set out was eaten, there was nothing else to do. It was time. He
sat looking into the fire while Cal cleared the table, knowing what he did the next few hours
could shape the rest of their lives.

Merlin remembered his first time. He'd been scared, eager, fumbling, and hot off the
mark. Before he'd done more than get a look at the naked breasts of the woman he'd bought, he'd
gone off like a rocket.

She'd laughed.

Mortified, he'd turned to go, but she quickly stifled her laughter. "How old are
you?"

"Seventeen." At her raised eyebrow, he amended, "Next week."

"Never done it before, have you?"

"Uh-uh." His ears were burning and his throat tight like he was wearing a stiff
collar.

"Everybody's got a first time. Relax." She pulled her wrapper around her and went to the
dresser. "You want wine or whiskey?"

"Uh, wine, please."

She served him a sour, cheap wine and got him talking. After a while his embarrassment
faded. When she finally said, "Want to try again?" he let her take the lead. She coaxed him
along, and when he finally reached his satisfaction, she'd patted him on the back. "You need
practice, but we all do, at first. Just remember there are two people in the bed, and you'll be
fine."

Tonight there would be two people in the bed, and one of them would be as
inexperienced as he had been that night in Chicago. He silently vowed to make sure Cal's first
experience was less harrowing than his was.

She'd stopped fussing about and was sitting in her chair. It was time.

He pulled the canvas curtain back, opening the bed to the rest of the cabin. "Maybe you
could move over here."

Her face went stiff and she started chewing her lip.

"Cal, I'm your husband, but until we..."
Oh hell, what's the right words?
He
thought back to all his reading and finally found them.

"Until we consummate our marriage, it won't be legal."

Her eyes went big and round. "Really?"

"Really." With a forced chuckle, he said, "And I'll not sleep a wink."

"Oh, Merlin, of course I'll--"

"Sweetheart, I didn't mean that as blackmail. I want you. I want to make love to you, and
never mind it will make our marriage official. I've wanted you ever since I saw you outside the
back door of the hotel."

Holding out his hand, he beckoned. "Won't you come to me? Won't you let me show
you what goes on between a man and a woman?"

For the longest time he wondered if she would just sit there all night long. At last,
though, she stood and came slowly toward him. When she stopped in front of him, he pulled her
closer, to stand between his knees.

"I'm no expert at this sort of thing," he said after a moment's silence. "Oh, I'm no virgin,
but I haven't lived high and wide either. This thing, when a man and a woman share their bodies
with each other, it seems to me it's more than scratching an itch." He felt his ears go red when he
said that, so he went on quickly. "I won't deny I tried it that way, but after a time or two, I knew
it wasn't right for me. I've shared a few beds, but mostly they've belonged to women I cared
for."

Her mouth opened, then closed.

"You're wondering why I'm not still there, aren't you?"

A nod was his only answer.

"There were reasons, most of them good ones. A couple were mistakes, but mostly we
went our separate ways by choice. And once she died."

As if she'd heard his sorrow, she touched his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too." Felice had been twenty years older, but she'd not mothered him. Soon
after she first took him to her bed, she'd told him she was carrying another man's child, that she
was quitting the business.

Never again did she take his coin, but she'd invited him to stay with her through winter.
"I've a mind to teach you how to pleasure a woman,
mon petite chou
. After the babe is
born, I'll be retiring, for I've always wanted a child of my own, but until then, I have no wish to
sleep alone."

The babe had been stillborn, and two days later Felice had died.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"You looked so sad. Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I was just thinking of an old friend. Never mind." He pulled her to him and framed
her face with his two hands. "Cal, I haven't whispered sweet words to you, nor pledged you
everlasting love. The thing is, I'm not sure what love might be, but I have strong feelings for you.
Will you settle for that?"