• People are always going to be attracted to you because of the possibilities you see in them and in what they can create with others.
Become better at describing these possibilities
—more vivid in your descriptions, more detailed in your explanations of why and how two people will complement each other so well—and you will grow to be extraordinarily effective at getting people to act on your ideas.
• When you are researching a subject, find the ultimate article, book, or paper; read the bibliography, identify the most frequently quoted sources, and then
reach out to these sources and get to know them
.
• Obviously everyone within your network does not have the same level of influence—some are higher leverage than others.
Identify the highest-leverage people in your web
and discipline yourself to have a meaningful conversation with them each month.
• Always act on the assumption that people—even very accomplished, famous people—want to connect with you.
If you’ve been impressed by a product, find out the inventor and call him or her. If you’ve enjoyed a book, reach out to the author
. Of course, they may not respond immediately, but with each e-mail or note from you, you are inching them toward the threshold when they will. And even if your “reach-outs” are never returned, rest assured that the person is reading them and appreciating them and that, if nothing else, your interest will encourage them to create more.
What to Watch Out For
• The difference between a name-dropper and a network builder is follow-up. What’s powerful about you isn’t who is in your network,
it’s your ability to link up seemingly unconnected people within your network to make something happen
. People will get excited when you tell them you know someone who can help them; they will be disappointed when you don’t make the call. Their disappointment will start to tarnish your reputation.
• When you connect people, do it well—this means
be detailed and specific
. When you introduce people to one another, paint a vivid picture of the strengths or experiences of each person, why you think each person complements the other, and what you think might be possible if they worked together. People are busy and it’s hard to get their attention. Nothing succeeds in grabbing attention quite as well as detail.
• Ask permission before you connect people
. Each of us is protective of our time. If you are careless or haphazard in linking up people, they may come to see you as a danger to their time, and wall themselves off from you and your ideas.
• Don’t become a “forwarder
.
”
Never send out a mass e-mail in the hopes that someone, somewhere within your network, will benefit from it. This is the laziest form of network building. It reveals that you see us as an undifferentiated mass of people. This will annoy us.
• Try not to be disappointed if people don’t call you back
. Some people need a lot of nudging before they will respond to your invitations. So long as each “reach-out” is done with detail—“Here’s exactly what I was thinking . . .”—each nudge will come across as respectful and will move them just a little bit closer to responding.
• When you are identifying high-leverage people within your network, remember that sometimes the most important person in an organization—be it a company, a community group, or a “movement”—is the number two. The number one might be the original idea guy, the visionary, the rallying point. But
the second person to join the “movement” is actually the person whose connections run deeper into the organization
. This is the person you need to know if you want to make things happen.
How to Win As a Leader
Connector
: Your strength is your ability to see the best in us. We sense that if we stick with you, you will make us a vital part of something significant. And so we are drawn to you.
• Tell us how important it is to you for our company to be a “friend in the community.” We all want to know that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves—a community of people and businesses who rely on one another. You help us see these connections.
• Show us the practical things we can do to connect with our community. Challenge us to think of new ways to reach out to our neighbors. Join local charities. Shred our newspapers and ask us to give them to the SPCA. Tell us to take our old towels to the local firehouse. Can we give our old equipment to Habitat for Humanity? Can we sponsor or participate in a local sporting event for charity?
• You are at your best in a crisis. We know we’ll never be left in a lurch because you know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who can get the job done. At staff meetings tell us the stories of how we handled it “when the storm blew out the electricity for twelve hours.” These stories will inspire us and give us the confidence that we can cope with any situation or emergency.
• You’re always thinking about the people, ideas, and technologies you could combine to create something new. We love this because it gives us security. We know there are fresh experiences and projects waiting in the wings. Strengthen our security by telling us regularly about the connections you’ve made.
• In your desire to find the perfect mix of people to get the job done, you break down barriers between people and departments. This will scare some people. Know this, and then learn how to show them what can be gained.
• Keep your connections fresh and new. Include novel and unexpected minds in some of your mixes. We like to know we might be next.
• You’re a masterful delegator. Just make sure we witness you rolling up your sleeves too. We need to know that you’re as willing and able to commit yourself to the job as we are.
How to Win As a Manager
Connector
: Your strength is building surprisingly talented teams. I know I can count on you to do your due diligence when cherry-picking new teammates.
• Your natural reaction is to look outside the company to the people we are trying to serve—the client. Remind me of this mission. This seems obvious, but sometimes the details of my own position distract me.
• At staff meetings or during one-on-ones, describe for me in detail what the client’s life is like. Tell me about their concerns, their agendas, their budgets. I may have never sat on their side of the table before. You can help me see the world through their eyes.
• I like seeing you out with our clients virtually all the time. The way you engage directly with their lives, the way you sort out their problems, the way you speak their “language,” all of this reinforces the ultimate purpose of my job.
• You take the time to discover the unique talents required for a vacant spot—you’re in no hurry to “just fill it.” Thank you for never settling, but instead, for always looking for the right and best person. We need you to remind us that this is how great teams are built—one good person at a time.
• You have such a wide network of people, you always know someone who’s been successful at what I’m currently tackling. Whenever I am stuck on something, use your network to give me ideas for how to get unstuck.
• You trust me with key projects. You have faith in my ability to solve problems. I love this freedom. I also need to know that you are there as support. Now and then, check in on my progress.
• Be careful in your comparisons. You can tend to evaluate me against my teammates or other people you’ve worked with. I need to know that you see me for my own particular abilities.
How to Win in Sales
Connector
: Your strength is your active network of relationships. Your need to reach out and stay current with your network will help those you have selected feel valued and appreciated.
• As your potential client I like it when you come around and visit me. You’ve always got something going on, some news to share about what your company is doing or what is going on in our industry. Your network offers me access to valuable resources I would not be able to find on my own.
• You seem to me to have a wide network. I’d love to meet some of the other people in your network. Can you put on a lunch or a dinner, some event where we can all get to know one another? Organize meetings, retreats, off-sites, learning seminars, symposia. We want to belong. We want to feel part of a smart group who can learn from one another. You can be our host and our bond, tying us together and to you.
• Always take the time to ensure that the people you introduce me to can really help me. As this happens more and more, I will see you as more and more credible.
• Your referrals will always be one of your powerful sales weapons. Sort through your network and organize it into different layers or levels of “referral.” Some you will use for first-time buyers. Others you will call upon only when you want to cast a vision of a full-blooded, multiyear partnership.
• Personalize all your interactions with me. If you’re pushing out a mass mail-out campaign, make sure to cross out the “Dear Ms. So-and-so” and handwrite my first name in. Scribble a few lines in the margin about how you’re looking forward to seeing me on the twenty-first. Show me that I’m not just one
of
a million, I’m one
in
a million.
How to Win in Client Service
Connector
: Your strength is your resourcefulness. You always have some person or some idea that can help solve my situation.
• You leave no stone unturned. I can tell you’re working as hard as possible to find solutions for me, your client. Tell me the steps you’re taking. I need to follow your line of thinking.
• You really listen to my needs. You are loyal to your brand, but what I like about you is that you don’t hesitate to introduce an alternate brand or product if you think it will serve my needs better. I appreciate this because it reassures me that you care more about my satisfaction than filling a quota.
• I like it that you deal with my problems head-on. I sense that you are a resourceful person who will be able to nip my problem in the bud, or who will know the person to call to help me solve it.
• You are effective at offering additional services that you know will truly boost my experience. Be very clear on the benefits and potential drawbacks of these add-ons. The better you get at this, the more I will feel that it is a legitimate enhancement rather than an up-sell.
• You think of me as a person first, a client second. You never forget my name and always make a point of recalling a fact from a previous conversation. This connection reassures me that you have my best interests in mind, because you have paid attention to me. Develop a system—a place to capture names, details, specifics about me and other customers—to hone this talent.
• Make me feel like an insider. When possible, invite me behind the curtain and let me see some of your inner workings. I may not always take you up on the offer but that you trust me this much does not go unnoticed. It will be reciprocated in my repeat business.