Star Hunters (7 page)

“If I knew.…” A narrow, dark hand lifted and fell, a quick expression of her frustration. “I'm only an approximation of what I was.” Another swift pass of her hand wiped this away. “We wish to make sure that the damage we do to you is minimized.”

“Damage?” Aleytys frowned and shook her head. “I don't understand. We are friends. Aren't we?” She swallowed. “We've talked a lot the past few years.”

“Ween you needed us.” The golden-eyed sorceress did not soften her grim expression.

“There were times when I'd have gone crazy without someone to talk to, someone I didn't have to.…”

“Didn't have to pretend courtesy and calm with, didn't have to protect yourself from when you couldn't endure the sight and feel of yourself.”

“You helped me.”

“You turned us off and on like your vid set.”

“No, it wasn't like that.…”

“We were your crutch. You didn't need to go out and exert yourself or expose your weaknesses and your ugliness to people who might reject or ridicule you. You didn't need to let yourself be vulnerable. We were there. As you said, we were always there.” Harskari sighed and relaxed. Her image wavered, then she smiled.

Aleytys felt a warmth flow through her body as she responded to the smile. She started to sit up, thinking the scolding had ended.

Harskari sighed again. “I like you, Aleytys. If we'd met another way, we might really have been friends.” The amber eyes moved to meet purple and black. “Perhaps that's true for all of us. Nevertheless, we have seriously damaged you in spite of our good will. Remember what you shouted at Grey that last time you quarreled?”

I don't need you, I don't need anybody
. The memory hung between them for a moment, then Aleytys said, “I was angry, I didn't really mean it.”

“Even if you didn't mean it, you wanted it to be true. You're terrified of depending on anyone you can't control. And we've pampered that terror.” Harskari looked rueful. “We enjoyed too much our talks with you. We enjoyed too much experiencing life again through you. We encouraged you to depend on us.”

“There was so much I had no way of knowing, so many situations I simply couldn't cope with.”

“Exactly. So much you couldn't cope with.” Harskari's amber eyes sparkled with annoyance. “On Jaydugar you took your first steps from the womb of your childhood. You survived many difficulties on your own. Then.…” She sighed, her eyes went dull. “Then we came. After a while it was easier for you to lean on us, to let us pick up after you like overindulgent parents. Instead of continuing to mature, you retreated to the safety of your childhood where there was always someone to protect you from the consequences of your errors and stupidities.”

Aleytys twisted her head back and forth against the couch cushions. “No,” she whispered. “It wasn't you. My mother said.…”

“Ah!” Once again the amber eyes were flashing. “We've heard that excuse a thousand times. Forget it. You weren't raised in your mother's culture. And you've disproved what she said a dozen times. Think, Aleytys! Remember your past! Cold and loveless, hah! Only when you had us to spend your affection on! Take responsibility for yourself, Aleytys. You're the sum of what you think and feel. Your mother, nonsense! You never even knew her. Think of Vajd. He raised you. He holds more of you than your mother ever will. Learn who you are, Aleytys. Open your eyes. Don't let others set your limits.” Harskari grew calmer. She glanced once again at the others. A sadness flowed between them. One by one they nodded.

“Head's concern kicked us out of our complacency,” Harskari went on. “We chewed the situation to shreds but finally came to a painful decision. We must break this dependency of yours, force you to stand on your own feet. Pick up the threads of your life where we broke them, Aleytys. We will not speak to you again. We will not come to your call. In short, daughter, you're on your own. Farewell.” The word trailed off as her image melted away.

Aleytys clutched at the couch, drenched with sweat in her sudden panic. “Shadith,” she called urgently. “Don't leave me. Not all alone. I need you.”

“Farewell, Lee.” The purple eyes closed and she was gone.

“Swardheld, teacher.…”

The Weaponmaster looked tired. “Freyka, I've got very fond of you.” He grinned like a hungry bear. “Been times …” He shook his head. “Never mind. Good faring, little one. You can handle anything you set your mind to.” The black eyes closed and he was gone with the others.

Aleytys dug her hands into the cushions and twisted them, sobbing and afraid. The comforting sense of presence that had eased her for so long was gone. She was alone.

“Lee, what.…” Grey's voice.

She brushed hastily at her eyes and sat up. “I didn't hear you come in.”

“You were too busy talking to them.” He turned away, bitter.

She felt a flare of anger burning, ready to burst at him. “Be glad, then. It's the last time.” Her low voice was full of pain.

Without a word he was across the room and beside her on the couch. He pulled her against his chest and held her until her shaking stopped. “Want to talk about it?” he murmured, his breath blowing warm across her hair.

She shook her head, her face still buried in the tunic of his shipsuit. “Not yet.”

He stroked her hair, then settled her back against the cushions and slid away himself to the far end of the couch where he could watch her. “What did you learn from the Ranger?”

Chapter VI

The hares came on endlessly, creeping through the night. Some were laboring now and would soon die, unnoticed cells dropping from the body of the vast beast. The herd across the river plunged in, swimming and drowning indifferently, moving around the city to settle on the north side. The other herd narrowed and lengthened as the great valley narrowed. Beyond Kiwanji a series of escarpments sealed off the plain and beyond them the mountains rose in pale blue waves. The leaders began to curve about Kiwanji to meet the other hares.

They crouched wearily, licking at bleeding paws and ragged fur, then closed their bulging brown eyes and slept for the first time during the long march. Behind them, still coming on, the great herd crept along, stirring up vast clouds of red dust.

Manoreh glulped at the hot cha but it did nothing to warm the stony chill from his body. He set the mug down on the arm of his chair and relaxed. Across the long common room Faiseh stood looking out a window.

Manoreh slid his fingers up and down the hot glaze on the mug. “See any hares on the coast last time you were there?”

Faiseh turned, looking mischievous. “You come roaring in here like a sand rat's got his teeth sunk in a tender spot. Then you don't say a word for a double handful of minutes. Now you come out with this.” He shook his head. “No, couz, I haven't seen any hares on the coast. Nothing much for them there anyway. Lot of rock, no water. Only water's on the islands. 'Less the hares swim, the island settlements are safe enough.” He chuckled. “Given they don't kill each other off.”

“That bad?”

“Like nothing you ever saw, couz.” He moved to a chair and sat down, lifting his feet to rest them on the other end of the same table. “You going to tell me why you asked?”

“I saw one line of hares after another coming out of the mountains.”

“Hunh! So you think Haribu could be in the mountains. Where'd you see them?”

“Going down foothills near the Chumquivir.”

“So.” Faiseh slapped both hands down on his thighs. “Meme Kalamah, first bit of luck since those walks started.” Then he scowled. “We got to get out and go after him. If we have to crawl over the testre Dallan.”

Manoreh drained his cup. “He has to let me out to swallow the ghost.”

“How you doing?”

“Could be better, couz.” He massaged his arm. “Feeling is going. Mmh. Pick up mounts at Kobe's Holding?”

“Why not here?”

“Groundcar. We've got to get through the hares fast.”

“You should have left hours ago.”

“I know. I meant to.”

“But got sidetracked.” Faiseh looked down at his broad, blunt hands. “Dallan can be a bastard. He don't like admitting the ghost thing can be done.”

“When I hit the guardian of our morals for the groundcar, I'm going to be walking stone.” Manoreh grinned tiredly. “He'll come through, bet you.”

“Hunh. No chance. Last time I tried betting you I walked away with my skin and lucky to keep it. What about the Hunters?”

“No.” Manoreh began pacing up and down the narrow room. “Sending a woman!”

Faiseh shrugged. “That one's worth having with us. Eat Haribu and spit out the bones.”

“I don't want her along.”

“Never thought splitting off a ghost rotted the brain. At best we can't leave before morning. Want to guess how many hares will be out there then? Got a feeling we'll need the Hunters, her for sure, to get us through. You got any better ideas?”

Manoreh flung out his hands. “All right, couz, they come. Satisfied?”

“Happier than I was. I don't fancy trying to sneak up on Haribu with a couple of darters and a lot of hope.”

“Fool.”

“Start practicing, couz. You got to get it right, got to look like you're about to freeze solid, or Dallan will miss the point. He's not too bright, the dear little man.”

Manoreh grinned. He began walking again, his movements getting stiffer and more unnatural. When Faiseh pronounced him convincing enough to be sure Dallan would notice something was wrong, Manoreh grinned at his friend then stalked stiff-legged out of the room.

Chapter VII

The predawn morning was cool and quiet. In the flickering light from the single torch, the groundcar was a featureless shadow humming quietly beside the dark guardtower. Aleytys rubbed her hands along her arms, a little chilly but enjoying the crispness of the air. She felt apprehensive and elated at the same time, anticipating the beginning of her first Hunt. She glanced at Faiseh who was shifting uneasily from foot to foot, mustache twitching, watching the silent line of small individual houses where the teachers and apprentices lived.

“What's keeping us here?” Grey sounded impatient. Aleytys smiled to herself. He was as jumpy as she was, wanting to begin, resenting the need to hang around waiting uselessly.

“Manoreh,” the Watuk Ranger said crisply. His eyes lifted to the sky, paling very slightly along the line of roofs. “I'll go see what's holding him up.” Without waiting for an answer he trotted off toward a house on the far end of the line. Its shape was a dark smudge in the deep shadow beside the taller stable.

Aleytys watched the chunky little man fade into the shadow and felt another chill that had nothing to do with the bite of the air. She walked briskly back and forth beside the groundcar with Grey watching quietly, saying nothing, standing deliberately still. He kept his back to the green glow strengthening gradually above the roofs. Aleytys smiled tentatively at him. “Grey.…”

“Get the back door open.” Faiseh was coming back, supporting his taller friend. Manoreh was moving with considerable difficulty. The stiffness he'd counterfeited before was becoming real. Faiseh muscled him along toward the ground-car. “Move,” he grunted.

As Aleytys set her hand on the latch, a slender figure came through the narrow crack in the gate and moved quickly, gracefully to the group by the car. A watuk woman with shimmering silver highlights gleaming along her cheekbones and a long elegance of bone and a grace of movement that enchanted Aleytys and at the same time made her feel once more a lump of mud. The woman wore a long rectangle of patterned material wound around her body and tied in a roll knot over her breasts. “I'm going with you,” she said quietly. Aleytys felt the intense emotion behind the smooth face, but the woman spoke without emphasis and stood gently relaxed as she confronted them. “We both are.” A small boy came shyly around her and stood looking up at Manoreh.

Faiseh chewed at his mustache. Manoreh scowled. “No,” he said harshly. “You'll be safe here.”

“Safe!” She lost a little of her calm. Her dark eyes narrowed. “Your son
FEELS
, Manoreh. I wanted to tell you that the past months. You weren't there, were you? You want Kobe giving him to the Fa-men? He will when he finds out. You know how he feels about the wildings. How long will it be before everyone knows, locked up together like we are? I can't take a breath that's not shared by a dozen others. Already Gerd and Minimi are watching him. You didn't bother to ask about him yesterday, did you? You had time enough at Kobe's Holding to say a word to me. But I wasn't important enough for you to bother about, was I, when you had a world to save?”

Manoreh brushed his hand across his eyes. “Kitosime,” he began.

With a degree of difficulty Aleytys found hard to understand, Kitosime thrust up a hand, the first urgent near-awkward gesture she'd made. It stopped him. “Kitosime,” she said. “Your wife. Or have you forgotten that too?”

“The hares.” He looked desperately tired. “Too dangerous. I can't stay with you, Kitosime. I can't.”

“When did you ever?” She picked up Hodarzu who was clinging, sleepy and silent, to her leg. “I want my son to live,” she said quietly. “Kiwanji is a death trap for him now. Do what you have to, Manoreh. But get us out of here first.” She rubbed her hand gently up and down her son's back and he murmured sleepily. “You owe us that at least, Manoreh. Get us out of here and leave us at Kobe's Holding.”

Manoreh closed his eyes. Through the link Aleytys felt anguish and uncertainty, a fading ghost of the watuk blindrage. Without stopping to think she left the car and put her hand on the watuk's arm, the healer in her responding automatically and irresistibly to his need. She closed her eyes and tapped into the power river, letting the black water pour strength into him. It wouldn't stay long, seemed to wash off. When she'd done as much as she could, fighting against a resistance that negated much of what she tried, she opened her eyes and saw him looking down at her, startled and repelled. Hastily she stepped away.