Starbleached (11 page)

“Jesus, Bryan.” She whispered. “Jesus Christ.”

“I will take the bullet out. I just need to catch my
breath.” He coughed, weakly, and the blood on his lips increased.

“What the hell happened to you?” She whispered, brushing the
smooth, cold flesh on his chest. What precious little there was of it. The only
heat in him was around the wound.

“I don’t…” cough, “I don’t remember.”

“You’re…” she trailed off, the word catching in her throat.

“Starving?” His lips quirked sardonically. He started to
laugh…and then convulsed, hissing. The human traces in his face vanished and
her own pulse quickened. She backed up and stayed out of arm’s reach until
Bryan relaxed. He didn’t seem to notice. “The alternative is unacceptable. But
in the morning I will…return to the village.”

And feed, she filled in. “What about all those trips you
were making? Weren’t you…” her gorge rose in disgust.

“No,” he whispered.

“Bryan…why are you doing this? Why kidnap me? Why…the
village…We would have taken you in, done whatever we could to...”

“Who are ‘we?’” White eyes fixed hers, cold and intense,
frightened and full of pain that had nothing to do with starvation. “Who are
you? I don’t remember.” Eyes closed, a shiver wracked his body. “I only know
that I—” cough, “--should.” The blue-black blood now coated his lips. His eyes
darted down to his hands, which he turned palms up and rested on his knees. “I
killed four people before I remembered that might be wrong.”

He looked so lost. Sick and…oh, god, dying. Her choice was
made before she realized she even had a choice. Because he was there. He was
right there in front of her, and she wasn’t going to fail again. “Bryan,” she
said, her voice a little harder. Her own slender fingers found the buttons on
her shirt. “What…do you need to…” swallow. It felt like all the pressure in the
world was caught behind her throat. She could barely find the buttons, she was
shaking so hard “…to feed?”

“No.” The wild panic in his eyes matched hers. “I will take
care of my…needs tomorrow.”

“I don’t think you have tomorrow. Hell, if you were anyone
else I’d have you on a bed next to Galina. Strapped down, if I had to.”

“For what?” laughter, and then another low hiss of pain.

“Malnutrition. You’re skin and bones. Also, you have a
bleeding hole in your gut that may have punctured a lung.”

“My biology—”

“Is obviously susceptible to shock. You’re pegging off every
warning signal I have.” Her voice quavered, but the hands removing her blouse
were steady. “And I’m not going to watch you die if there’s something I can do
about it.”

“Why?” his eyes searched her face. “You’re terrified of
this. It isn’t necessary.”

“Because I lost you once already. Twice while I’m watching
is too much to take.”

His entire attitude shifted. He hissed again, low and long.
Probably what an Overseer did when it was told something it did not want to
hear. She reached to examine the wound, and he caught both her wrists,
preventing her from touching him properly. She felt the mouths on his hands
grip her skin eagerly, the light prickle of hungry nematocyst teeth.

“It’s completely voluntary.” He whispered. “I won’t if I
don’t want to. And I will not. Ever. Not to you.” He let her go.

She picked up a vial of enzyme and an applicator. The needle
slid into her skin, and the chemical burn was like a bee sting. “Why not me, if
you don’t remember?”

 “Your face is my first memory. You are in every shadow.
What little I remember of…before…is you. And my universe is…brighter…when you
are here.”

“Bryan—”

“It feels good, do you understand? To be full of…life. Not
wanting. Not hungry. It’s unforgivable. Especially with you.”

He was getting scary again. She needed to do this and get it
over with. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You never found me.” He whispered.

She picked up his hand, swallowed, and pressed his grip
against her chest. The organ on his palm was hot, intense.

“I will.” It was an oath. “I will find you. I do whatever it
takes. I owe you.” She whispered. Alien eyes focused on hers, heavy with pain.
“And I love you.” Tears flowed down her cheeks. “Please.”

He straightened, moving so that her back was supported by
the low bench, his weight heavy against her body. The nematocysts prickled
against her skin. “It will hurt. You cannot imagine how much it will hurt.”

“Just do it and get it over with.” She whispered.

He closed his eyes, turning his terrible face away. And she
discovered something she hadn’t known before. Overseers wept. She touched the
tears, the strange, soft skin on his cheeks glossy. It was like touching the
chrome sides of a long lost room, if that metal were made alive. Before she
could check the impulse, she leaned forward, heart pounding, pressing his awful
hand deeper into her chest, and kissed him on the cheek.

He made a low keening sound, something no human could make,
something that would break any heart in two.

And then it felt as if her chest exploded.

*****

Then:

Laughter and light spilled around them, the soft thickness
of the grass cradled them, and Adrienne smiled. Okay, so the light was canned,
the grass was the perfect, genetically engineered stuff that never needed
cutting, and there were no clouds or blue sky (or real sun) over their head.
Still, one of Bryan’s picnics was worth it. How he always found the
one
abandoned
place on the concourse…

“One day,” she said, tracing circles on his shirt front.
“I’m going to take you home. To New York. We’ll visit the space needles, I’ll
take you to Central Park.”

“Don’t you have to pay to get in there?” He asked, tracing
circles on her neckline. He really did have this thing for writing on her. Like
he was marking territory or something.

“I’ve got the admission fee. Just think. Real grass. Real
sunshine. Ants!” She laughed.

“Birds. Bird shit. Vagrants. Unpredictability.” He set the
pen down and kissed her, longer and longer, his tongue exploring her distant
galaxies. She reciprocated, invading his sacred territories. Fingers found
nebulas and star clusters and sweat ran down her skin. He pushed back from her,
brushing her hair out of her eyes.

“What?”

 “Screw my brother. Screw Holton. Screw this goddamned war.
I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you.”

“I had you at hello?”

“Much sooner.” Then he laughed, bending gently over her. His
hair tickled her body. “God.” He pushed it back out of his eyes. “We’re so
cheesy, aren’t we?”

“I like cheese.” She smiled wickedly and licked his
shoulder. “Cheddar.” Kissed him, long and sweet on the mouth. “Brie.”

Things only got better from there.

*****

Now:

When Adry raised her head, she was alone. An Overseer
version of an IV was hooked into her arm, pillow tucked under her head and the
shawl gently laid over her shoulders. Galina and Bryan were gone.

Panic, sheer and stark. Standing, her head spinning, she
looked for some sign, some clue to where the others had gone. Galina shouldn’t
be moving at all, and Bryan…oh, God. Her knees buckled as memory hit like a
meteor.

The memories are there. They just can’t access them.
Paige’s
words an eternity ago. He knew who she was. He knew who
he
was. But he
didn’t know the details. That he had resources, friends, a place to go…it must
be hell inside his head. And if she were in his shoes, she’d be running as fast
as a starship could take her.  She braced herself on the central console. He’d 
been sitting here for all this time, her hating him with every fiber of her
being…
and he could read her mind.
Oh, Jesus. Oh dear God in heaven, what
he must think!

“No, no, no. Back on bed, back on bed.” Galina appeared in
the doorway, as if she’d just come from the lavatory. “He told me you are not
to stand.”

“I’m fine.” She put a hand to her chest and felt violated
skin burn. She expected some horror of raw meat where he’d fed. Instead there
was a deep rash, tiny punctures where her life had been…removed…she turned
hastily and vomited into the nearest container. There wasn’t much to bring up.
Galina held her head until the retching was done. “I guess you’re used to
seeing this,” she said weakly.

“Stubborn.” The old woman was angry. “Stubborn men, stubborn
women. He is most stubborn of all. All things need to live. I understand this,
so I agree to trade. Water and bandages and life for us, life for him as well.
But—fool!--he has not taken what he has traded for in weeks.” Sharp blue eyes
turned sly. “You know him. When you saw him without his mask, you put your life
up for his taking, same as we put ours.”

Adry didn’t answer. “Why do your people do it? It can’t just
be for antibiotics and a water purification system.”

Galina sat, her arm in a sling. “Russia claimed four planets
for theirs, but did not have people willing to go. You are American. Young
country. Is not heavy for you to leave. But my mother’s grandmother was born in
Orenburg, was baptized in church where six generations of family were buried.
We are told to go, we go. But Russia is in our blood, still.

“Those that stay think nothing of those that leave. They
tell us go, and they do not give us clean water. They do not give us medicine.
We have food and drink and vodka, but no wealth. The Overseers come, they take
half our village. We lose people. The military come, they take our medicine. We
lose more people. We are for whoever wants us, but no one does. We die. Then
this one come, and promise us safety, and we do not believe. But what do we do,
except lose more people, more medicine? More of what makes us who we are? We
trade.  He gives us clean water.  He brings us new seeds. He tells us when the
others come, so we can hide. We have balance. We can live with this.” She was
silent. “You called him by a human name. I hear, when I am sick.”

“Bryan.” She wiped tears from her face. “His name is Bryan
Landry. The Overseers have a process that can make one of us into one of them.”

“So he was man. Human. Your man?”

She nodded.

“What kind of man? Good?”

“He developed the enzyme that he’s been giving your village.
He was…is the best man I know.” She swallowed. “He’s alive. We all thought he’d
died. I hate that he’s had to go through this but…” She smiled. It felt
bizarre. Alien, after so many days of sorrow. “He’s
alive.”

“Hope is good, but hard to keep. Is freeing to have it back
when you had none for so long.”

Adrienne smiled. And then a throat cleared itself. Both of
them turned. The bulk of Bryan’s alien body filled the doorway. He walked
silently to his console, and the women shared a brief look.
Hope is good,
but hard to keep.

Let that look stand for all she couldn’t say.

*****

Now:

Three days of work, labor and medicine. The water began to
clear, as did the illness in the village. But in that time, Bryan stayed away.
She wanted to talk to him, ask questions, but when she returned to the compound
he wasn’t anywhere she had access to. As if he couldn’t stand her presence
without her hate burning against him.

On the fourth day, she woke to find Galina and Bryan talking
in hushed voices. “What’s going on?”

“The man that shot Galina has returned,” Bryan said. “He is
not hurt. And he has friends. One of them is a man from your transport.” Four
eyes met Adry’s two.

Oh, bloody hell.
It didn’t take a lot of work for
Adry to string the mess together. Harris had come for her. Shawn would have had
to tie him down to keep him off the team. And no way Shawn would leave her in
the cold. Not if it meant picking up Mich and taking out an Overseer in the
bargain.

An Overseer who is Bryan.
He looked a little better,
though it was hard to tell with that heavy coat of his. “That man is Michel.
He’s your brother. Do you remember that?”

White eyes dropped down, confused. Her own heart ached for
him. “No,” he answered. And she had the weird feeling it was the concept of
brother
he was having trouble with, not the concept of Michel. After all, this was
the idiot that shot him. “He’s been circling around the village for a while.
Since before I brought you here. I have not known why.”

“He wants to kill you.” She said.

“He’s welcome to try. And succeed, if he can.”

“Bryan—”

“But he won’t take you. You will go to your people. I will
be gone when they arrive.”

“You can come with us.” She said, quickly, before her brain
could override her altruism. “They’ll be so glad to have you back. We can deal with
everything else. Bryan—”

“Would the man you remember be happy with this life? I am
not. I do not think I would be under any circumstances. You cannot save me.” He
focused on her. “There is nothing for you to save.”

“Bullshit,” She said, hands at her sides. A thousand things
slammed through her mind, a thousand words unsaid, questions unanswered. They
never made it past her lips.

An explosion rocked the outpost. Galina sat hard on the
floor. Adry fell forward, caught by a pair of strong arms and frightening
hands. For the first time, the palm-teeth did not sting her skin.
I guess
that’s a symptom of being hungry,
she thought. She winced as a secondary
explosion rumbled…and then the lights went out.

“That was primary power for the outpost. The first burst…”
Bryan trailed off.

“It was SF ordinance. Mich must have brought them here.” She
could see it, too, the tactics Shawn would use. Blast through a wall, take out
the power, grab Adry and the enzyme, blow the computer systems, kill the
monster…