Starfall: A Starstruck Novel (18 page)

Standing on the bed, I reach up and take it off its little hook so I can hold it, look more closely at it. And, for the first time since waking up in that Irish/Martian hospital, a ghost of memory niggles at the edge of my brain—then disappears. There’s
something
important about this crystal.

Shoving my irritation at my parents aside, I head downstairs, the crystal in my hand. Mom’s in the kitchen, making dinner. I walk up to her and hold out the crystal.

“Where did I get this? And when?”

She turns and looks, and I swear her face goes a shade paler. I definitely don’t imagine the flash of fear in her eyes. Fear? But she covers it quickly.

“That? It…I believe it was a birthday present, from one of your school friends. For your sixteenth birthday, I mean. You had a party, here at the house, with nearly all of your friends. That must be where it came from.”

Before she can go back to browning meat, I ask, “Which friend? Who gave it to me?”

Mom hesitates just a hair too long before saying, “I’m afraid I really don’t remember, Rigel. Possibly one of the girls. Most of the cheerleaders came to your party, as I recall, as well as the football team. Nearly all of them brought gifts.”

But this was the only one I hung right over my bed. That must mean it was important to me—then, anyway.
 

“You’re sure you don’t remember?” I press, mostly to see if she’ll lie again. But she turns back to the stove so I can’t watch her face.

“I’ll think about it. Maybe it will come to me.”

“Or I could ask around at school.”
 

Her shoulders twitch, but she doesn’t look at me again. “Yes, I suppose you could. Someone there may remember who brought it.”

Irked all over again, I go back upstairs, still carrying the crystal. Might as well get started reading
The Crucible
for English Lit. But the whole time I’m reading, my eyes keep straying to the crystal on my desk—a dreamcatcher? Is that what they call these things?—and wondering.

*
   
*
   
*

Next day I take the bus, since it seems lame to have Dad drive me again. Supposedly I took Drivers Ed last year, but never actually got my license. So the bus it is.

When I get to school, I’m surprised to see the Sovereign getting off the bus ahead of mine, along with her friends Bri and Deb, and Molly O’Gara. I figured the Sovereign would be driven, maybe in a limo or something, but now realize that’s dumb. No one at school—except the other
Echtrans
—know who she really is. Still, the bus?

Bri sees me and waves, then the others do too. The Sovereign smiles and looks like she might come over to me, but then she turns away and goes into the school with the other girls. Half a second later, Trina comes up behind me, from the direction of the parking lot, and grabs my arm.

“Silly, why didn’t you say you needed a ride to school? I totally can drive you, you know.”

I shrug. Even if she wasn’t really my girlfriend last year, I don’t need to make enemies. Especially when she’s trying so hard to be helpful. “I don’t mind the bus. I figure doing things the way I did last year might help me, you know, remember stuff.”

She pouts a little, but more in a sexy than pissed-off way. “I guess that makes sense. I’d just like to spend a little time alone with you, Rigel.”

“Yeah, we’ll, um, have to do that sometime.” I stick to the safer topic of schoolwork until I head to Pre-Cal and she heads to whatever her first class is.
 

Remembering that weird tingly thing I got from the Sovereign’s
brath
yesterday, I wonder if it’ll be less noticeable, now I know to expect it. But even as I think that, I feel it. I glance behind me, but don’t see her. The tingling keeps getting stronger and when I walk into the classroom she’s already there, watching the door.

For me?

She takes a couple steps in my direction and I tense up, determined to play it way cooler than yesterday. Her friend Deb says something to her and she stops to answer, then turns back my way and smiles…at Molly, who just walked in the door behind me. That’s who she was watching for. Duh.

“How was your first day, yesterday?” Molly stops to ask me. “Did it get easier once you started re-learning names and everything?”

I appreciate how not-awkward she acts about the whole memory thing when most other people seem weirded out by it. “A little easier, yeah. It’s going to take a while before people who were friends before
feel
like friends, though. Y’know?”

“Of course. We all must seem like strangers right now. If Sean or I can help, let us know, okay? Or M. She wants to help, too.”
 

She glances over at the Sovereign and I look too, just in time to see her look away. Like she doesn’t really want anything to do with me, much less “help” me. And why should she? Even if we were friends or…whatever…at the very start of last year, she’s got way more important things to deal with now. Sovereign things.

Which suddenly makes me wonder why she’s even
going
to high school, considering all the responsibilities she must have. Kind of strange, now I think about it. If I work up my nerve to talk to her again, maybe I’ll ask.

My second day at Jewel High—that I can remember, anyway—is a lot like the first. I’m definitely no less attuned to the Sovereign’s vibe. Maybe more. In our classes together I sometimes think she’s sneaking glances at me, but I’m never quite sure.
 

Trina, on the other hand, is clingier than ever. Like she’s trying hard to convince me we have all this history that the guys pretty much told me we don’t. At lunch, I finally tell her—gently—to back off.

“Look, you’ve been great, helping me adjust and all, Trina. And I really want to stay friends. But until I start remembering, at least a little, I can’t see trying to be in any kind of actual relationship. With anybody. If that’s okay?”

Her blue eyes narrow between those long black lashes, and for a second I think she’s going to tell me off. But then her glance flicks to the others at the table—football players and a few cheerleaders—and she flashes a smile.
 

“Oh, Rigel, of
course
I understand! No matter how much I’d like us to get back to how we used to be with each other, I’d
never
push you faster than you’re comfortable with. I definitely don’t want to make things even
more
confusing for you than they already are. If ever I do or say
anything
that makes you the least bit uncomfortable, you just tell me. Okay?”

“Okay,” I say, even though I know—and she must, too—how awkward that would be, which means I probably never will. “Thanks for understanding, Trina.”
 

She wraps both hands around my upper arm and dimples up at me. “I totally, totally do, Rigel. Don’t you worry.”

Stifling a sigh, I just smile stiffly back and turn to talk football with the guys.
 

In Weight Training, I pair up with Sean again, this time for squats, since I’ve thought of a bunch more questions to ask him.

“So,” I mutter, once we’re separate from the other guys, “did you check with whoever you needed to check with? Can you tell me more…stuff now?”

“I, uh…” He turns away from me to pull a weight off the rack. “There’s stuff I probably shouldn’t, but if you’ve got questions, I’ll try to answer them.”

Fair enough, though there are probably a million questions I don’t even
know
to ask.

“Okay. You said yesterday I only went to Mars for a few weeks. Is that where I got hurt?”

Sean takes a while to clip the weights onto the bar before answering. “You, uh, actually went as M’s Bodyguard—got special training and everything. And yeah, that’s where you lost your memory.”

“So I got injured protecting her?” That sounds
way
cooler than a car accident. “Did I, like, throw myself in front of a projectile or something?”

He positions the bar across his shoulders and squats. “Not…exactly. But a lot of people do consider you a hero.”

I think about that as he does a few reps. “Can’t you just tell me everything that happened? In order?”

Standing up again, he gives his head a little shake. “Even if I could, it’d take way too long.”

“But—”

David Jaworski, one of the receivers on the football team, pauses on his way to the medicine balls. “It’s so weird to see you guys acting like buddies without M or Molly running interference. Guess you worked everything out in Ireland, huh?”

Like I’d remember? I shrug and wait for him to move off before saying, “So Matt was right? We really didn’t get along? Why?”

Again with the grimace I can tell isn’t from the weights. “What you said yesterday. M. But it was more my fault than yours.” He finishes his set and we switch places before he continues. “When I first got here, I was kind of…possessive. She didn’t like it. And you didn’t like it. Especially since neither of you knew about the whole Consort thing yet.”

“But once that was all explained? I still wasn’t cool with it?” For years, my dad drummed into me how important it was to get Faxon out and the Sovereign back in. To get everything on Mars back to normal. It was the whole reason we were looking for the lost Princess. I should have been totally onboard with anything that would help.

“Well, it was kind of a shock, I guess, especially for M, since she was raised here, never knowing about, well, anything. Took a while for her to come around to the idea. She met you first, so you were…better friends with her than I was. And I kind of, well, took it out on you. More than I should have. Sorry, man.”

I shrug, then start my squats. “Not like I remember, anyway. But she finally came around, right? The guys said you two were definitely a thing last spring. So why’d you break up?” I add in a rush.

“Yeah, she finally realized how important it was politically, and all. But she’s…not really ready for that kind of commitment yet, I guess.”

“She is just sixteen. Considering how long our, uh, people live, maybe she figures there’ll be plenty of time later?”
 

Though I mean that to be comforting, Sean winces a little. “Yeah. Hope so. So, any other school-type stuff you had questions about?”

He obviously wants to drop the subject of him and the Sovereign so I start asking about last year’s basketball season.
 

When I get to last period, Ms. Raymond assigns one of the new girls to work with Abigail on story planning and layout, another with Becky for reporting and editing, and the other with Jeremy on photography.
 

Then she hands me the log-in info for the newspaper website and sends me to the computer in the corner along with the Sovereign. Who I’ve
got
to start thinking of as M, disrespectful as it seems. Otherwise I’ll screw up and call her “Excellency” or something, like I almost did when I first met her, which would be totally uncool.

She sits down next to me at the monitor. “So, um, how are you managing so far?” If it wasn’t so crazy, I’d think she’s almost as nervous to talk to me as I am to her.

“Okay, I guess. It’ll probably get easier as the year goes on. Maybe I’ll even start remembering stuff.”
 

She presses her lips together for a second—I totally should
not
be looking at her lips!—before saying, “I hope so. How far back did they…I mean, what’s the last thing you do remember? From before?”

I type in the URL for the school blog so it’ll at least look like we’re working—and also to give me time to think. Which is surprisingly hard with her extra-strong
brath
right next to me, making all my nerves jangle. Does she know what an unsettling effect she has on people?

“Last summer. We were getting ready to move from Indianapolis to Jewel.”

“Do you remember…why?” She’s staring at the computer, though her cheeks are pinker than before.
 

I quickly look at the computer myself. “Um, yeah. We were hoping to find…you.” I say it super quietly, knowing she’ll have no trouble hearing me.

She lets out a little breath. “Which you obviously did.”

“Yeah. Is it true you had no clue who you were before that?”
 

“I didn’t even know people like us existed, so how could I?”

I shake my head. “That had to be pretty weird for you, huh? The whole thing must have sounded totally insane. Who finally told you?”

Now she looks at me, those incredibly green eyes boring right into mine, making my heart race. “You did, Rigel.”

“Oh.” I don’t know what else to say. There’s something in her expression that makes me jumpy. Gives me an inkling why Sean was jealous last year. “You probably thought I was nuts, huh?”

She snorts a tiny laugh. “Well, let’s just say I took some convincing, but between you and your parents, you managed it.”

“So after that we were…friends? That’s what Molly said.” I’m not sure why I don’t mention Sean, too.

“We were. Close friends.” Again with that intense, questioning look in her eyes.

Swallowing, I glance away. “Um, that’s good to know. So, I guess we should get to work cleaning up this website, huh?”

To my relief, she takes the cue and turns back to the computer, making occasional suggestions which I quickly implement. For the rest of the period we don’t discuss anything personal and as much as I need to find stuff out, I’m glad.

Because I’m way too attracted to this girl and she’s
absolutely
off limits. For all kinds of reasons. Totally apart from everything to do with her being the Sovereign, she’s also Sean’s ex and he’s clearly not over her.
 

And even if he was, the two of them still have this whole Sovereign-Consort thing looming in their future, a joint destiny I can never be a part of. No matter how much else I might have forgotten, I can’t afford to forget that.

That evening, I try to get more out of my parents, especially about M and Sean. And M and me.

“Of course you were friends, Rigel,” Mom finally admits at dinner. “You were the very first
Echtran
she ever met, and she was the first
Echtran
girl your own age that you’d ever met. It was natural you would spend time with each other.”