Starkissed (27 page)

“I like them, too. I’ve thanked them for allowing me here. Please let them know how grateful I am.”

Nura’s eyes twinkled. “They know. Sometimes I think they hold the knowledge of the universe. Come, Leith, let’s walk.”

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156

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Leith fell into step beside her friend, and Nura hooked her arm around Leith’s.

“You’ve had quite an adventure,” Nura observed.

“More than enough for one lifetime.” Leith related an abbreviated version of the story.

“Stranded on a planet with a Zi!” Nura led them to a bench beneath a huge Arc.

“Well, you were always pestering me to get out and see more of the universe.”

“Artilians do not pester,” Nura denied sternly, then laughed. “I miss those days at the university. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I must be grateful for the year I was allowed. Now, tell me about your Zi.”

Your
Zi… Suddenly, Leith blinked back tears that burned to escape. “He— He isn’t
my
Zi. We were both in the wrong place at the wrong time—”

“Leith, my friend. You cannot hide your feelings from me. You know that. Now, tell me about
your
Zi.”

“His name is J’Qhir and he is the Warrior, chosen by his people to serve and protect.

And…” Leith blinked back more tears. “I love him.”

The words sounded strange when spoken aloud to someone else.

“How does J’Qhir feel about you?”

“I don’t know!” she cried out. The large Arc over them shuddered. “I’m sorry. I’m distressing the Arcs. Should we go somewhere else? I don’t want to hurt them.”

“You won’t. They thrive on distress. They absorb it and in doing so give you relief.

You can’t hurt them, Leith. Don’t worry so.”

Leith shook her head. “There were so many people—the media, tourists, gawkers.”

“I wish you had called ahead from the ship and asked for me. A distress call from a crippled ship is different. They would have had to let me know. I could have made arrangements for your arrival to be more private.”

“I wish I’d thought of it. I didn’t realize that most of the messages I deployed had been intercepted and half the galaxy would be waiting for us.”

“The Officials had no choice but to let them in. Media rights, you know. It’s in the Treaty, but Artilia never realized what that could mean. Nothing like this has ever happened on Artilia before.”

“When Drew told me it was an Artilian ship that reached us and towed us in, I told him it would be a problem for your planet and your people wouldn’t like it.”

“They don’t,” Nura confirmed. “But I’m glad we’ll be exposed to more off-worlders.

We allow tourists to visit the Arcs, but under controlled circumstances. There is no way to completely control this situation. I think it will do us good.”

Leith grinned. “Radical as ever. What does everyone else think?”

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Nura shrugged. “Some agree, some don’t. So no changes are made. As always. Now, you effectively managed to change the subject, but I’m changing it back. Finish telling me about J’Qhir.”

“Nothing more to tell.”

“Leith,” she said sternly then sighed. “Oh, very well. Have it your own way.”

Leith looked at her helplessly. “I don’t know how he feels. What happened on Paradise seems to have nothing to do with reality. And the reality is he is going back to Zi and I am going back to Earth.”

“Have you talked to him?” Nura asked.

“I haven’t had a moment alone with him since Drew and the others arrived on Paradise. Because of Rohm’dh, I had to treat him distantly. I left it up to J’Qhir how he wanted to handle it in front of another Zi. He never said or did anything to indicate that we were anything other than cordial acquaintances.”

“Do you realize he may have taken his cue from you? Perhaps he thought you wanted it that way.”

“I thought about it, but I didn’t have any other choice. We had never taken the time to explore ‘what if’. What if we’re rescued? What happens between us then? It had to be J’Qhir’s move, if we acted like lovers. It wasn’t my place to bring attention to something he might not want known at the time.”

“I understand, but J’Qhir is Zi and may not.”

Nura, as always, had a way of reaching the heart of the matter, and Leith knew her friend was right. J’Qhir wasn’t human, and she shouldn’t expect him to react as a human would. His entire thought process was so different than her own.

Still, she stubbornly clung to the notion that if he truly loved her, he would instinctively know what needed to be done. He had told her that her instincts were good.

Weren’t his a thousand times better? She refused to believe he didn’t know he should come to her and tell her what he meant to do.

“Well, you’d think he would have taken a few moments to find out.” Leith frowned.

“He left the guesthouse before I knew about it. He never tried to get in touch with me. It was the reason I kept trying to reach you, to find out where he had been moved. It’s too late now. Only a few hours until the conference.”

“I could arrange for you two to be alone—”

“No!” Leith vehemently cut her off. “J’Qhir has made his choice and I have to live with it.”

“Very well,” Nura conceded. “Will you stay here a while after the conference is over? You may use the guesthouse as long as you like. When this spectacle is over and www.samhainpublishing.com

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everything has returned to normal, Artilia is a tranquil place. I would so enjoy spending time with you again.”

“I’d like to, but I need to get back to Earth. Dad is ill and although he’s recovering, I would like to see him and Mom. I’ve been away too long.”

“Of course. Perhaps later, you’ll come visit me. Promise that you will.”

“I promise,” Leith said and meant it, but she knew it would be a long time before she ever wanted to travel in space again.

A server appeared with a tray of tea and delicacies. Leith sipped the hot tea and chose a pink confection. The sweet, creamy morsel melted in her mouth, blending perfectly with a sip of the unsweetened tea. She waited a moment but neither caused the nausea to return. Suddenly, she missed the taste of cone nuts and fresh water and set aside the slender cup.

“Is it not to your liking? I can have something else brought.”

“No, it’s wonderful.”

“To be perfectly honest,” Nura’s voice lowered conspiratorially, “I have Terran cocoa and chocolate chip cookies. I have them smuggled in every so often from that little cafe near the university.”

Leith laughed. “Keep your stash. When I’m back home, I’ll have Terran food again.”

“Now, what are you going to do about J’Qhir?”

Leith sighed. She should have known Nura wouldn’t allow the subject to be dropped.

“Nothing. As I said, J’Qhir has made his choice. If he wishes to continue the relationship, then it’s up to him to him to come to me.”

“Leith, you’re giving him every reason in the galaxy
not
to come to you.”

“Exactly. If he does, then I’ll know he truly wants me, that he doesn’t come to me out of his over-blown sense of duty or honor or whatever the hell it is the Zi feel.” Leith regained her composure and said more softly, “I won’t let him see me as an obligation, and that’s exactly what he’ll do if I go to him now.”

Nura nodded. “I see your point. But what if he doesn’t, Leith? What if he doesn’t think
you
care?”

“If he cares, then he will come to me and ask me if I care. His duty should allow him that much.”

“I don’t know,” Nura said softly. “He is, after all, male.”

”””

Later, Leith walked with her friend through the garden to the waiting aircar.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you like,” Nura offered. “Meditating with the Arcs can help.”

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“They’ve helped enormously as it is. I do feel better, calmer. I need to return to the guesthouse and get ready for the conference.”

“I wish you’d change your mind about staying afterwards. And I wish I could ask you to stay with me, but I live in my parents’ home. They find humans emotionally unstable.”

Leith smiled. “I really need to get home and see my parents. The guesthouse is very comfortable. I wouldn’t want to cause you any more trouble than I already have.”

“No trouble, Leith. You are my friend. Artilians, too, know the meaning of obligation. On Earth, you took me in and helped me more than you’ll ever know.

Whatever I can do while you’re here will never begin to repay what I owe.”

“Nonsense. You’ve done more for me than I can ever repay. But we are friends, and friends don’t keep score.”

“You’re right.”

“Will you be at the conference tonight?”

“And miss meeting your Zi? Never! Besides,” she added with a laugh, “I am Chief Servitor of Security. I have to be there. You know, the Zi Tri-Council of Elders is in Katasa~ri. They arrived from their ship this afternoon.”

Leith felt a chill skip down her spine. J’Qhir would never do anything to go against the Council.

“You were always so careful in the giving of your emotions,” Nura said. “As if the other person had to prove him or herself worthy.”

“What?” Bewildered, Leith puzzled over her friend’s words. “Why would you think that? I always felt lucky you chose me to be your friend.”

“And I would have done anything to be your friend. You have no idea you’re so hard to reach? No matter. I am sorry that you’re having difficulty with the male to whom you finally gave your heart.”

Leith nodded in agreement, but the implications of Nura’s observation made her blink. They said their farewells, and Leith got in the open aircar. As it carried her from Nura’s family’s estate and through the streets of Katasa~ri at a leisurely pace, she pondered what Nura had said.

Had she really seemed so unreachable? Could Khris and even Steve have been right—to a degree? In the end, was her testing of J’Qhir and his motives merely a way to keep him at a distance and protect her own heart?

Until that moment, she had come to the decision not to attend the conference. If J’Qhir didn’t want her, there was no need to torture herself by being near him but unable to be with him. On the other hand, it would be her last chance to see him. Perhaps he www.samhainpublishing.com

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hadn’t had an opportunity to contact her because of the Council’s arrival. She’d give him the benefit of doubt and confront him with her presence, reminding him of what they’d shared.

She stared up into the lavender sky and sighed. Either way, she’d find out tonight.

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“Leith!”

Everyone called her name except the one she wanted to hear.

As she turned to greet Drew, one of her sandals caught against the floor and nearly sent her sprawling. Drew threw an arm around her shoulders to steady her, and Leith smiled at him gratefully.

“These shoes are catching on everything. Maybe I ought to go barefoot like the Biian monks,” she whispered as several of the robed and hooded Biians passed by.

“Sorry I’m late. I lost track of the time checking on the Rover. The repairs are almost finished.” He looked around at the crowded Hall. “This has turned into a big event.”

“I don’t understand how so many arrived so quickly. It’s only been a few days and half the galaxy is here.”

Drew nodded toward a group headed toward them, and his arm tightened around her.

“Media reporters, headed our way.”

Leith leaned her head close to his. “What could they possibly want with us?”

“Not us. You. Haven’t you listened to any of the reports on LinkNet? You’re a hero.”

“Me? Oh, no—”

“You opened communications with a people that has always been incommunicado.

That’s news.”

“But I didn’t do anything. I just told the story that J’Qhir told me. Please make them go away, Drew.”

“I can’t. Besides, you spent six weeks on a planet alone with a Zi. No, not just any Zi, but the Warrior of Zi. They want to know what that was like.”

“No! Drew, please, I can’t. Get me away.
Now!
”

“I’ll do what I can. There are enough people here to hide behind.” Drew steered her past a group of dignitaries. The reporters trailed close behind, and Leith felt as if she were being chased by the horde of flyers all over again. Except these creatures carried cams instead of stingers and were far more dangerous.

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Past the dignitaries, around the refreshment tables, Leith came face-to-face with—

“Leith…”

Finally, she heard her name spoken the way she longed to hear. She wanted to fling herself into his arms. He would make them all go away. He would protect her with his life…

As was his duty.

Did she dare show the least bit of intimacy with the Council of Elders and a horde of reporters surrounding them, watching their every move? She could not chance hurting him in any way.

“Commander,” she murmured and nodded slightly. Then embarrassment burned her face. She wished she could sink into the polished stone floor under her feet. Why had she reverted to
Commander
? She should have called him Warrior. She couldn’t look him in the eyes. She couldn’t bear to see what she had done to him by using the word that had no meaning for him.

“Msss McClure,” he rasped, each syllable precision cut.

The frenzied horde clamored for a picture of them together.

When she finally raised her head to see if he wanted to comply, she saw nothing in his exotic amber eyes. The black slits were narrow, but he only casually gazed at her.

There was nothing in his eyes or on his face to indicate she held any special meaning for him whatsoever.

She’d done it all wrong. In trying to protect him, she’d given him the impression that she wanted this cold formality between them. She had fouled it up beyond all repair.