Starr Fated (54 page)

I paced up and
down taking deep breaths trying to calm myself. Perhaps there was a
simple, logical explanation for this…yeah, that’d be that he was
fucking her as well as me.
Grow up, you silly little girl. This
is the real world, not some twee, schmaltzy Disney story about a
Prince finding his one true love with a Happy Ever After ending.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
Once a manwhore, always a
manwhore.
Liam wanted to have his cake and eat it. Naïve
inexperienced girl for the novelty factor on the one hand,
experienced fuck buddy on the other. Best of both worlds.

It wasn’t long
before Liam was at my door. I let him in without saying a word, and
he followed me through to the living area.

“I asked you
to wait, Seraphina,” he frowned.

“Well, perhaps
I have better things to do than stand around waiting while you get
rid of your previous assignation.”

“It wasn't
like that. You were early.”

“Oh I'm so
sorry for curtailing the fond farewell with your
friend
. How
rude of me,” I replied sarcastically. I stood there with my arms
folded across my chest, trying to hold it together, but in serious
danger of losing it big time because of the incredible jealousy
sweeping through me and the pain at the thought of Liam’s
betrayal.

“I can see how
things maybe looked, but Kimberley…” Liam started trying to make
his excuses, but when he started using the bitch’s name, I really
lost it.

“
Kimberley
, is it? Well things must have got pretty fucking
cosy between you and
Kimberley
, seeing as you’ve got her
lipstick all over your face,” I interrupted him. “
Kimberley
looked very flushed and satisfied as if you’d just fucked her
brains out actually,” I spat at him.

Liam looked
shocked. He tried to wipe his cheek with his hand, but that just
smudged the lipstick and made it look even worse.

“Seraphina, if
you’d just calm down and listen for a minute…”

“Calm down and
listen to the lies you’re going to spin me? No thanks. I’m not
stupid and I know what I saw. I warned you that if I got even the
slightest hint that you were back to your old ways, that would be
it between us. I won’t be messed around, Liam. We’re finished.”

“No, we are
not
finished. You’re being irrational and childish because
you won’t let me explain that this is all perfectly innocent
….”

“Perfectly
innocent? I saw the way
Kimberley
was looking at you, the
way she was rubbing those big tits of hers up against you. She’s
the type you’ve always gone for isn’t she? So I can imagine she’d
pretty much be your perfect woman. Are you denying there’s ever
been anything between you?”

“No, I'm not
saying that…”

“I knew it!
Kimberley’s one of your playmates, isn’t she?”

“She was, but
she’s not anymore.”

“Okay, so what
was she doing in your apartment?”

“As I was
trying to tell you, she’d gone out for a run when a man started
following her and made her feel unsafe. That’s why she looked
flushed, she’d been running, not for any other reason. She came in
here to ask for my help.”

“She just
happened to be jogging past your apartment when this happened,
wearing the skimpiest of skimpy outfits, with a full face of makeup
including that slutty red lipstick, and you just happened to be
there to welcome her with open arms?”

“What was I
supposed to do, Seraphina? I could hardly turn her away could I?
She asked for my assistance and I felt obliged to help her as I
would anyone under similar circumstances.” Liam stood there with
his arms folded defensively as he scowled at me.

“I bet you
did. So what happened to this mysterious threatening man? Did you
go after him?”

“No, by the
time Kim explained what had happened, he’d gone.”

“How
convenient for
Kim
. I'm sorry Liam, but it sounds like a
complete pack of lies and I’m not buying any of it. I wish you’d
had the guts to tell me straight out that you were bored and ready
to move on, but I’ll do it for you. I want you to leave. We. Are.
Through.” I started marching towards the door to open it for
him.

“No, we
fucking well aren’t, because I've done nothing wrong. If we were
over I would tell you to your face, but we are
not
. You’re
jumping to the wrong conclusion without listening to the
facts.
We are not over and you will hear me out whether you
want to or not.” Liam grabbed me by the arms and held me firm as he
practically yelled in my face.

“Yes,
Kimberley was my fuck buddy, and maybe she still wants to be, so
tonight possibly was a ploy to get back with me, but it doesn’t
matter because I am
not
interested. That’s what I made clear
to her when I took her down to her taxi. I told her that I’ve
changed and I don't want that kind of lifestyle anymore.”

“But you
didn't tell her about me. You didn't introduce me as your
girlfriend when you had the chance.”

“You were the
one who suggested we keep things under the radar. I only agreed
because of Jamie.”

Liam took hold
of my chin and forced me to look at him, his deep blue eyes boring
into me.

“We agreed
that we’d be monogamous. I’m not a liar. I wouldn’t cheat on you,
Seraphina. How many times do I have to tell you?”

Part of me
wanted to believe him so badly, while the other suspicious part of
me refused to be convinced. It could still all be lies. Of course
he would deny it all, wouldn’t he?

“How would you
feel if the roles were reversed? If you saw a really hot guy
leaving my apartment kissing me and thanking me?”

“I’d want to
fucking kill him, of course. But it would be him I didn't trust,
not you. I would at least give you the benefit of the doubt and
give you the opportunity to explain things rationally to me.”

Liam’s words
hit home. Perhaps my fiery temper had made me fly off the deep end
and I was being unfair. When he saw me hesitate in my wrath for a
second, he bent down and softly kissed me on the lips.

“When are you
going to start trusting me, Seraphina? When are you going to start
believing that what we share is different from anything else I’ve
ever experienced, and that I wouldn’t do anything to risk ruining
it?”

He released
the grip he had on my arms to pull me into his embrace. Feeling his
arms slide around me, inhaling his wonderful smell, resting my head
against his broad chest all persuaded me to believe him. I really
wanted everything he said to be true, because it felt so right to
be with him like this.

“Okay, perhaps
I overreacted just a smidgeon,” I finally mumbled into his chest as
I let myself relax against him. “But you have to promise me that
you won’t see this Kimberley again.”

“I hadn’t
planned on seeing her today, and I certainly have no plans
whatsoever to see her in the future,” he assured me, as he kissed
the top of my head. “You’re the only one I’m interested in seeing.
No one else.”

“I don't
understand why,” I murmured. “Kimberley is really stunning. I can
totally see why you’d want to be with her, and you two looked so
good together. I guess that’s why I flipped.”

“I used to
think Kimberley was attractive, but not anymore. There’s nothing
natural about her appearance whatsoever. Not like you . You are a
natural beauty. You don't need to wear layers of makeup or bleach
your hair to look good. You look just as beautiful when you wake up
first thing in the morning as you do at any other time of the day.
But it isn’t just about your looks, Seraphina. Kimberley is a nice
enough girl, but I never had any kind of a connection with her the
way I do with you. I want to be with you every chance I get, every
spare moment. I've never wanted that with anyone before. Only
you.”

As Liam kissed
me again, I pushed to the back of my mind the little niggling
doubts that still festered there. I let him make love to me,
swamped and overwhelmed by the intensity of the feelings he always
stirred in me.

Only Liam.
Because he is The One.

~*~

I struggled to
stick to my plan to maintain a healthy distance between us, to keep
myself as a separate entity who would be able to carry on with my
life when the day came that Liam got bored of me and was ready to
move on. But I tried my best, because seeing him with Kimberley
like that had been a real wake up call, whatever he’d said to
convince me that we should carry on seeing each other for now.

I insisted
that we only spent Friday and Saturday nights together, usually
spending one night in his apartment and the other in mine. The rest
of the time, although we usually saw each other after work when he
was around, I tried to insist that we returned to our own
apartments and made our separate ways to work. Sometimes though, I
just couldn’t help myself and my resolve weakened. Liam would text
some suggestions about what we could be doing, and somehow I’d find
myself at his door, or inviting him down to mine. That’s what had
happened the Sunday before I started at Starr Capital, when he’d
been meeting Jamie for lunch. I’d said I wouldn’t see him again
that day, but somehow after we’d exchanged a few texts, I found
myself unable to resist seeing him again once Jamie had left, and
of course we’d ended up in bed together – again. It scared me how
out of control I felt, because this was not like me at all.

Work was my
salvation.

I absolutely
loved my job at Starr Capital, and it provided a welcome relief
from my obsessive thoughts of Liam, because I could throw myself
into concentrating on my designs rather than him. Of course, I
still had to get through the challenge of my daily meeting with
him.

Naturally Liam
was very different in the office to how he was with me at the
weekends. Outside of work, he looked every inch the bad boy rather
than the serious business man as we explored the local area
together, laughing and joking together as we held hands, him
scruffily unshaven and in his casual jeans and T shirt. I found
myself unable to take my eyes off him, drinking in the sight of his
great body, his intense blue eyes, and his relaxed, smiling face.
He looked so much younger when he was like this, than when he
reverted back to his office persona.

But I also
found office Liam, the man I had to deal with at work, incredibly
sexy because of the powerful aura that emanated from him. He was
always the ultra smart, highly efficient and well groomed big boss,
with his impeccably sharp suits, and perfectly coordinated shirts
and ties.

Everyone at
work was totally in awe of Liam, and always referred to him as ‘The
Boss’. I loved the fact that I knew another side of him, a very
different side that few people would even suspect existed, but I
tried to ignore the uneasiness I felt about how effortlessly he
seemed to be able to switch off towards me. Did that mean he was
also a very good actor when it was just us? Certainly by the way he
acted towards me at the office in front of everyone, no one would
have had the slightest inkling that there was anything going on
between us. I had to hand it to him, no one did cold, commanding
and intimidating quite like Liam.

“Don't let him
get you down, Sera. I don't know why The Boss is still insisting
that he personally needs to check your designs daily, when he can
see for himself that your work is outstanding,” my co-worker Tom
sympathised with me.

Although I
hadn't had much to do with Tom when I'd been the intern, once I got
to know him a bit better, I found him to be a really nice guy. Of
course, he was nothing like Liam. Tom wasn’t much taller than me,
and his curly brown hair hung over his shirt collar. He wore
glasses, but they couldn’t mask his soft brown eyes. Tom was the
very proud father of a new baby boy that he and his wife Alice had
named Noah. Every day he showed me new pictures of the baby on his
phone, which I duly admired.

I’d been
worried about how we would get on working together, but it turned
out that we made a really great team. Technically, Tom was amazing.
He knew every little detail of all the latest programs and updates
and the best way to effortlessly achieve a really professional look
for the designs I spent my time coming up with. To me, it seemed as
if I had the easy part of the deal, but Tom didn't see it like that
at all.

“I can't tell
you what a relief it is for me not to have to try and come up with
all the new ideas. That side of things has never been my forte and
has been really stressing me out since Rob left. He was always the
one to come up with the ideas, then he’d hand it over to me to work
on the technical side. Simon was a useless Creative Director, a
proper pain in the arse who spent all his time faffing about but
getting nothing done. So I'm really glad, if somewhat surprised,
that The Boss had the good sense to snap you up. By the way, your
designs that you came up with for Starr Capital were a dream to
work on.”

“Thanks Tom. I
was somewhat surprised to be offered a job here. And don't worry
about The Boss being hard on me. I don't blame him for keeping a
close eye on me – he’s taken quite a gamble, seeing as I haven’t
even officially graduated yet.”

I was trying
to deflect any suspicion about my daily meetings with Liam. Truth
was, behind that locked door while his PA was out at lunch, our
meetings were scorching hot and filthy dirty. They were the
highlight of my working day. I needed to take my lunch break
immediately afterwards to regain my cool façade before I returned
to work. But at least I’d had a fix of my Liam obsession to keep me
going for the rest of the day.

It all began
on the first Monday as I was getting ready for work. I had a text
from him.