Starseed (12 page)

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Authors: Liz Gruder

BOOK: Starseed
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“I know, I know! But I was born in Louisiana! I’ve lived here my whole life. Do you honestly believe that I’m an alien?”

“Don’t get pissed,” Melissa said, patting Kaila’s knee. “We’re only trying to figure this out.” She changed the subject. “Jordyn really likes you.”

“You think?”

“Psssh,” Pia waved her hand. “It’s obvious.”

“Well then, they can’t be all bad, can they?” Kaila asked.

Part of her wanted to dive deeper, to open to explore,
to know
. But another part was afraid. Deep down, the crux, the root of this was terrifying. This she knew instinctively.

“We didn’t say they were all bad,” Pia said. “The one named Antonia I was talking to seemed real nice.”

“Toby is cool,” Melissa said. “I really like him.”

“He likes you too,” Pia said.

“Well, could it be that what’s happening to you guys is not related to them?” Kaila asked.

“Sure,” Pia said. “But I bet they would know who—or what—is.”

“Kaila,” Melissa said. “You ever listen to that radio show on in the middle of the night: Coast to Coast
AM
?”

Kaila shook her head.

“Well, listen to it. It’s on
AM
radio. Me and Pia listen to it. We have problems sleeping. But on that show, they talk about this. People make fun of this alien stuff. But it’s real.” Melissa lowered her chin. “I’ve tried to lie to myself about what was happening . . . but something is making me . . . um . . .
know.

“I think this is happening to a lot of people,” Pia said. “Who don’t realize it. That’s the scariest part.”

“Worse than that,” Melissa said. “You can’t talk about it. If you do, you’re crazy.”

“That’s because anything dealing with
UFO
s is in the closet,” Pia said. “It’s like being gay in the 1700s. You have to hide your true self or be persecuted. Except this is persecution of beliefs and wanting to know the truth. It really sucks!”

“The best thing I ever heard on Coast to Coast radio was this guy who saw a
UFO
,” Melissa said. “He was a physicist. After that, his philosophy was to treat everything he heard or read as if it were true instead of immediately dismissing it. He said it opened his mind to lots of things.”

“Cool. Freedom of thought,” Pia said.

“If this is true,” Kaila said, “why do you think that they want people to have no memory of being taken?”

“That’s the question,” Pia answered. “But if you think about it, it can’t be good. There’s a reason they don’t want to make themselves known and they make everything secret. If they were our space brothers and loved us, we wouldn’t feel like this.”

“There’s something weird happening in the whole world,” Melissa said. “It’s like everyone is waking up, or realizing stuff they never did before.”

“Yeah,” Kaila said. “I’ve always felt different from my family. Always knew and heard things they couldn’t. I have a secret too.” She folded her hands.

“Well?” Pia prodded.

“I really like Jordyn. A lot.” There. She’d said it.

“That’s no secret!” Pia laughed.

But the things he’d allowed her to have memory of were secret. Kaila intuitively knew that she wasn’t supposed to talk about what she’d seen. The freezing of time. The implantation of screen memories of a skinned knee over what really happened. Making Mrs. Bourg and her students unconscious. She wanted to tell them, but if she did, they might think she was an alien and not like her anymore. Plus, she sensed that
they
did not want her to talk.

“Let’s keep our pact,” Kaila said. “And you have my promise I’m going to get to the bottom of this.”

“Thanks,” Melissa said, looking at Kaila gratefully with her lazy eye.

“One thing,” Pia said. “Your mom and grandma might be on to something. The aliens seem real interested in you. If I were you, I’d keep wearing that stuff on your head.”

Melissa added, “You never know who you can trust.” She blew on her bangs falling in her face. “And, um, do you think you could get some of that black stuff for our heads?”

“Um.” Kaila considered. Her mother kept the Velostat hidden and only brought it out when she needed to cut fresh sheets. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Just a little bit is all we need . . . for night time,” Pia said. “That’s when they come for us.”

Kaila sensed that the weekend would get stranger. Her mother, Lee, was teaching a yoga class in the parlor, a room that once housed a huge dining table covered with china and silver. Now the room was bare with mirrored walls and a wood floor, the crystal chandelier the only hint of the room’s former elegance.

Seven people did downward dog on mats with Lee leading the class in front. Her mother wore a blue baseball cap with a navy scarf tied over it to keep it fixed to her head. Dreamy New Age sitar music lulled in the background.

“Draw your navel in toward your spine. Breathe,” Lee instructed. “Reach up to heaven, inhale and forward fold,” she said, bending over, touching her mat. The class followed suit.

Kaila looked at her dogs Lucy and Woofy, and put her finger to her lips. She quietly unrolled her sticky mat at the rear of the class. The dogs sat obediently next to her, pink tongues out, pleased to accompany her. Kaila bent, barefooted in her jeans shorts, placing her palms to the mat, inhaling deep, conscious breaths. She wore a headband on her wig to keep it secure.

Though she often rolled her eyes with her mother’s infatuation with yoga, she did the classes because they made her feel better. Something about stretching and the deep breathing made her calm. She pushed her palms forward on the mat until she looked like an inverted “V.” She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, enjoying the sensation of being upside down.

My whole world is upside down.

Stop thinking, she ordered. She had to stay centered like her mother and Mrs. Bourg had said. Yes, Mrs. Bourg had said to stay centered and in the present and not worry, hadn’t she? When was that?

As Kaila stood to begin a sun salutation, she was surprised to see Priscilla Snowden standing in the doorway. Priscilla’s long blonde hair was in a ponytail. She wore black yoga pants and a sky-blue yoga top. She smiled at Kaila, unfolded her turquoise mat, and began doing sun salutations, her body limber and pliant.

This is surreal
, Kaila thought. But she smiled back at Priscilla, pleased she had come. How did she know her mother taught yoga classes here at home?

She observed Priscilla performing the yoga poses expertly and fluidly. Though Priscilla didn’t look at her and practiced with her eyes closed, Kaila could feel her like a glowing sun. She felt her warmth, steadiness, and tranquility.

Kaila closed her eyes and continued the asanas, doing inversions, twists, and later, shoulder stand, all the while conscious of Priscilla. Her muscles relaxed and grew fluid, feeling like she floated in a warm bath.

“Now it is time for Savasana,” Lee said. “Corpse pose and meditation. Please lay on your backs, palms up.”

Everyone lay on their backs, their eyes closed. This was the real reason Kaila had come. She wanted to meditate, to clear her mind.

There were many tricks: tell all thoughts to go, chase the wild horses out of the barn, imagine the space in between words in a sentence. It was something she practiced when her mind ran crazy with thoughts that made her feel bad.

“Relax your cheeks, your jaw,” Lee guided. “Feel the floor like warm sand that you are sinking into. The sun shines above, warm and golden. Breathe.”

Kaila allowed herself to relax. All thoughts scattered and she eased into a peaceful place, like sinking to the bottom of a warm and soothing pond. She floated serenely.

Then she heard Priscilla in her mind.

You are awakening.

Kaila opened her eyes and glanced at Priscilla, who was lying still, eyes closed.

Kaila closed her eyes again.

Yes, you hear me,
Priscilla said.
Don’t be afraid.

Kaila inhaled and concentrated on the space around her heart and then up to the space between her eyes.

What you are doing is good,
Priscilla said.
It is good to clear the mind
.

How do I know this is real?
Kaila asked in her mind.

You know it’s real.

But how are you doing this when I am wearing the wig?

We are in meditation, and you are now receptive.

What are you?
Kaila asked, knowing she wasn’t communing with something all human.

I’m here to help,
Priscilla replied.
Help is always available if you call upon it.

Way outside her mind, Kaila heard her mother instructing the class. “Wiggle your fingers, your toes. Gently come back to the room.”

Wait!
Kaila called in her mind.

Remember, Kaila, you are much more powerful than you know,
Priscilla said.

Someone else had said that to her recently, too.

Her mother instructed, “When you are ready, roll on your side.”

Kaila rolled on her side and faced Priscilla, who looked serenely at Kaila. She reminded Kaila of that good witch Glinda in
The Wizard of Oz
. But she, herself, was barefoot, no ruby red slippers, and she lay on her side on a yoga mat at home. She wasn’t trying to get home; she
was
home. So where was she trying so desperately to go?

Priscilla smiled. They sat up, sitting cross-legged on their mats.

“Your yoga practice is complete,” her mother said.

Kaila loved the look in her mom’s and everyone’s faces after mediation—serene and still, as if having just rested in the sun and had been told they were loved.

“Namaste. The light in me recognizes the light in you.” Her hands at her heart, Lee nodded to all.

As they rolled their yoga mats, Priscilla said, “I feel so much better after yoga. Do you?”

“Sure,” Kaila replied. “But what really made you come today?”

“I like you,” Priscilla said, touching her left hand.

Kaila drew back her hand.

“It’s okay,” Priscilla comforted.

Kaila felt daunted by Priscilla’s incredible beauty and humbled by her light.

“I want to be here for you,” Priscilla said, her voice melodic.

Kaila was baffled.

“I come to you physically to tell you and show you that you can call on me with your mind anytime you like.”

Kaila said, “Let’s go to the kitchen and talk.”

“I can’t stay long.” Priscilla touched her forehead, closed her eyes. She looked faint.

“No, please, stay.”

“I can’t,” Priscilla said, suddenly looking exhausted. Her face went white.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Priscilla sighed. “I can never stay long. Too much of an energy drain.”

Her mother tapped Kaila’s shoulder. “How was the sleepover?”

“It was great.” Kaila turned. Priscilla was gone. “Excuse me, Mom.”

As she ran out the parlor, Kaila heard a lady ask her mother what was the deal with the crop circle, ha ha.

“A prank,” her mother said.

Kaila could envision her mother clutching her cap, but by this time Kaila was down the hall and into the kitchen.

She burst outside, counted the cars in front of the house. Seven cars. There had been seven people in class before Priscilla arrived. Now, no trace of Priscilla. Impossible that she could have run down the quarter-mile clamshell driveway from the house to the street this fast.

Priscilla had disappeared. As if into thin air.

Chapter 7

T
hat Saturday afternoon Kaila’s mother mowed the lawn on the riding mower, eradicating all signs of the Venus crop circle. Yet Kaila was becoming alert that signs, obvious and subtle, ran rampant. Though her mother might cut down the crop circle and encase their minds in black plastic, they lived in a land of high strangeness that couldn’t be perennially denied.

But for now, they clutched at normalcy: Nan cooked a chicken and sausage jambalaya for lunch. Paw Paw dozed in his recliner. After lunch, Mike, Lee, and Kaila attended to the horses.

The Guidry family housed five Arabians in the barn. Black as the night sky, Nan had named them aptly: Orion, Lyra, Perseus, Pegasus, and Mira. Nan and Paw Paw had been proud horse people, once showing their Arabians, but those days had passed.

Paw Paw had grown feeble with the chemotherapy, and Nan complained of a bad hip. Kaila remembered when she was little and Pegasus gave birth to Perseus. She’d loved the filly the moment she was born, jet black with a white diamond on her forehead.

Let’s go!
Kaila heard Perseus telepathically as she trudged into the barn over the hay.

I’m coming. Hold on,
Kaila said in her mind, leading her out of her stall.

What about us?
Mira and Lyra called.

We’ll take you in a bit,
Kaila said.

After saddling Perseus, Kaila nudged the mare, now eleven, into a full gallop across the fields. Mike rode Orion beside her, and Lee rode Pegasus behind.

The Guidrys didn’t believe in using crops. If you raised and treated a horse right, they were an extension of your own body and you could guide them with a nudge of your thighs and heels.

Thank you,
Perseus said with her mind, her mane riffling in the wind.
This feels so good! You’ve not been paying enough attention to me,
Perseus pouted as her hooves clopped over the field.

I’m sorry,
Kaila said, gripping the reins.
School gets in the way.

School?
Perseus snorted.
It’s that boy!

Kaila leaned over Perseus’s neck. “How do you know about him?” she called aloud.

He came to visit me.

“What?” Kaila reined in to a trot. Why would Jordyn come to commune with her horse?

What did he say?

Perseus shook her head.
Can’t say.

“Whoa!” Kaila jerked to a stop and dismounted. She walked to face Perseus. “Young lady,” she said aloud. “You tell me what he said. Right now.”

Perseus shook her head.
He made me promise,
she moped. Perseus fluttered her eyelashes over her large dark eyes.
But . . . maybe he’s coming tonight.
She stamped her hoof.
I didn’t say that!

Kaila stared straight at Perseus, waiting until the horse looked her in the eye. “No secrets. Understand?”

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