Starting Over (24 page)

“Me neither.
You want me to make you some warm milk?” He grinned when she stuck
her tongue out, gagging. “I know you hate the stuff, but I’ve read
pregnant women sometimes crave all kinds of things they hated
before.”

Her eyes
drifted to the nightstand, and she spotted
What to Expect When
Your Wife’s Expecting.
“I can’t believe you’re reading
that.”

He knew he
could easily make a joke about it, but he wanted her to know how
seriously he was taking her pregnancy. “I want to be involved every
step of the way.” He held out his hand, and he was relieved when
she walked toward the bed. She sat down on the other side to face
him. “I know I wasn’t a very eager participant when you were trying
to get pregnant…” His lips twitched when she raised an eyebrow.
“I’m not saying I didn’t have fun practicing, but I wasn’t as
engaged as I should have been. I don’t want to make that mistake
now.”

With a long,
lingering glance, she said, “You really have changed. You’re not
the same man I left a few months ago. You’re not even the same man
I fell in love with all those years ago.”

Alex held his
breath and waited for her to continue. The man whose life revolved
around Bolton Industries seemed like a distant memory, but he
needed her to reach that conclusion on her own. He needed her to be
ready to take a chance on him without feeling pressured. He loved
her so damn much his chest ached just thinking about the way his
bed felt without her in it every night.

“You’re the man
now that I always wanted you to be,” she whispered. “I knew it
wasn’t fair or realistic to think I could change you, but when I
thought about the kind of life we could have together, I just
couldn’t help myself. Sometimes I wanted to grab you and shake you
and just beg you to see how good it could be, if only you were
willing to meet me halfway.”

He reached for
her hand, tugging her down beside him. She curled into his side,
and his breath hitched as he felt the warmth of her body through
the thin fabric of her long, black nightgown. “I’m here now.” He
brushed his lips across her hair. “For as long as you want me.”

“You said
earlier”—her hand rested on his chest, over his heart—“that you may
want to sell your half of the inn someday. Why would you say
that?”

Alex hated to
even think about that, but as long as it was a possibility, he knew
he had to. “There may come a time when you start dating again.” He
paused, praying she would protest, but she said nothing. “You may
meet someone else… fall in love.”

“If I did meet
someone else, you’d sell your share of the inn?” she asked,
trailing circles over his bare chest. “Why?”

“I’d rather die
than stand by and watch you fall in love with someone else.” His
voice broke, and he cleared it, trying to rein in his emotions.
“Not that you don’t have the right to move on, obviously you do,
but—”

“What if I
don’t want to?” She looked up at him as a smile teased her
lips.

“What does that
mean?” He heard his heart pounding and he knew it must be thudding
under her hand, but he didn’t care. He felt as though
everything
was riding on the next words out of her
mouth.

“It means that
I still love you, Alex, that I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Hope battled
with fear inside his head as he remembered her telling him that
when she told him she wanted to divorce him too. Just because she
loved him didn’t mean she wanted to spend her life with him. “I
love you too.” He hoped she couldn’t hear the uncertainty in his
voice. He wasn’t trying to pressure her, but he knew he would lose
it if she didn’t tell him where he stood soon.

“But…?” She
pulled away, leaning her weight on one elbow as she looked him in
the eye.

He’d left the
curtains open, and the exterior security lights cast a soft glow
over the room, illuminating her delicate features. He wondered if
their daughter would look like Eve. Part of him hoped so, but his
over-protective, fatherly instincts, already developing inside him,
feared the long line of guys ready to steal daddy’s little girl. He
would never be ready for that.

“Alex? What are
you thinking?”

He gently
caressed her stomach, smiling when her gaze drifted to his hand.
“I’m thinking about our baby girl, wondering whether she’ll look
like her gorgeous mama.”

Eve covered his
hand with hers, stilling the motion. “I want her to have the best
of both of us. Your courage, determination, and fearlessness…”

“Your
compassion and intelligence…” He leaned in, inhaling the subtle
scent of her shampoo. He heard the hitch in her breathing, as
though she feared and anticipated his next move. “I’ve missed you
so much.” He brushed his lips across her cheek, barely skimming the
soft skin. “I’ve missed sharing a bed with you.”

Slipping her
leg between his, she said, “I’ve missed sharing a bed with you
too.”

“You have?” he
asked, trying to tamp down his surprise. He’d believed he was the
only one still aching for the physical connection they used to
share.

“Of course I
have.” Eve ran a hand over his stubble. “That was the one place I
always felt connected.” She buried her head in the crook of his
neck. “In bed.”

“Is that why
you came to me tonight?” he asked, barely able to get the words out
past the lump lodged in his throat. That was it. The moment of
truth. “Or was there another reason?”

“I want to
start over,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I want to
forget everything that’s happened the last little while and
just…”

He eased her
back on the bed, positioning his upper body over hers. “Just what,
Eve? Don’t be afraid to say it. You have to know I want you back,
that it killed me to lose you in the first place.”

“I made a
mistake.” A tear slid down her cheek as her hand glided over his
shoulder and down his back. “I should never have divorced you.” She
closed her eyes as a sob escaped her. “God, what was I
thinking?”

“It’s okay,
baby,” he said, desperate to ease her anguish. “You were right to
divorce me.”

“What?”

He kissed her
softly, gently, knowing if he gave into his hunger for her, he
would never be able to say the things she needed to hear before he
made love to her again. “Sweetheart, losing you was the hardest
thing I’ve ever had to go through.”

“Even harder
than losing your company?”

He couldn’t
pretend losing his father’s company hadn’t hurt, but that pain
eventually subsided, giving way to a sense of freedom he’d never
experienced. The pain of losing Eve would never have subsided. She
would have remained with him until the day he died, a phantom in
his memory, reminding him what it felt like to share his life with
the woman of his dreams. “Losing Bolton doesn’t compare to losing
you. Nothing could ever compare to that.”

“I love you,”
she whispered in his ear. “So much.” She drew him into her
arms.

Closing his
eyes with a smile of satisfaction, he let her hold him for a
minute, knowing that’s what she needed. “I love you too.” Drawing
back, he kissed her the way he’d been dying to kiss her since the
night their daughter was conceived. That night had marked their end
as he tried desperately to hold on. Tonight was about trusting that
nothing and no one could ever touch the love they shared.

“We shouldn’t
do this tonight,” he said, easing the strap over her shoulder. When
his hand found her fuller breast, he promised himself he wouldn’t
take it too far. He just needed to touch her to convince himself it
wasn’t a dream. “Not after your scare earlier.”

Biting her lip
as he tweaked her nipple, she tipped her head back and closed her
eyes. “What if I told you the doctor gave us the green light to
make love tonight? I called the hospital while I was lying in bed,
tossing and turning.” She met his smile with her own. “Dr.
Jefferson was still there. She was just getting out of the delivery
room, and I managed to catch her before she left.”

Alex wanted to
make love to her more than ever, but he’d never do anything to
endanger their daughter. “Are you sure it’s okay? I mean, if it’s
not—”

Eve cut him off
with a kiss. She moaned into his mouth while her tongue tangled
with his, grinding her hips against his as she gripped his
shoulders. When they finally broke apart, breathless, she said,
“Make love to me. Please.”

He lifted her
nightgown over her head and tossed it on the floor. Standing, he
slid his pajama bottoms off and watched her eyes hungrily devour
his arousal. “You keep looking at me like that, and this is gonna
be over before it starts.”

She giggled as
she reached for him. “That’s never been a problem for you.”

Alex was
gratified to know that’s one area he hadn’t failed her. Climbing
into bed beside her, he knew it wouldn’t be the frenzied mating
they’d enjoyed so many times. That night was about worshipping her,
showing her how much she meant to him and how he intended to never
take her for granted again.

He positioned
his body above hers, supporting his weight as his lips moved slowly
down her body, leaving a moist trail across every inch of soft
flesh. She arched into his mouth when his tongue circled her
nipple, and he feared he wouldn’t be able to hold off. But that
night wasn’t about him and his needs; it was about thanking the
most generous woman he’d ever known for giving him back his
life.

“I love the way
you make me feel,” she whispered, threading her hands through his
hair and holding his head between her breasts. She sighed
contentedly as he licked one breast and then the other. “God, I’ve
missed this.”

“Not as much as
I have,” he said, his voice husky as he moved further down her
body. When he reached her stomach, he dropped tender kisses over
the soft mound forming, eager for the day when her tiny bump would
be evident to the rest of the world.

She held her
breath as his lips brushed back and forth over her stomach, paying
homage to the little miracle they’d created. “I’ve imagined you
doing that so many times.” Her voice was choked with tears. “But I
didn’t think it would ever really happen.”

“Every day
until you bring our beautiful daughter into the world, I’m going to
do this.”

“Promise?”

“Count on it.”
He moved lower, kissing the tender skin on the inside of her thighs
as he felt her legs tremble. Avoiding the spot he knew she needed
him most, he continued to kiss a moist path up and down her legs,
over the swell of her lips, before he finally eased her legs apart
with his shoulders.

“Alex, I…”

He knew no
words could express how much she wanted him, how much she needed
him. He knew because he felt the same way. Only actions could
convey the depth of what they felt. Loving her with his mouth had
always been one of his favorite ways to please her, and that night
was no exception. He watched her come apart in his arms. He
continued to stroke her with his tongue long after the last tremors
subsided, until she was practically begging for mercy. He’d been
hungering for a taste of her for so long, he felt like a man living
without water. He’d been given a taste of the life force he’d been
fantasizing about, knowing he couldn’t endure life without it.
That’s how Alex felt without Eve—as if he wouldn’t survive without
her.

She reached for
him, trying to coax him up. “Please. I need you… now.”

Alex kissed her
deeply, knowing he would never take that simple act for granted
again. He gave thanks for what felt like the hundredth time that he
had the right to do it. His shaft found her entrance without his
guidance, almost as though his body knew exactly where he belonged.
He watched her closely for any signs of discomfort as he eased
inside of her with excruciating care. “Tell me if it hurts, promise
me.”

Wrapping her
legs around his hips, she whispered in his ear, “It feels
incredible. I love this.”

Reining in his
body while his emotions set off explosions like fireworks wasn’t
easy.
Love. Gratitude. Appreciation. Devotion.
His world
began and ended with the gorgeous woman in his arms and the tiny
baby she carried. He knew they would always have his heart in the
palm of their hands. “Marry me again,” he whispered as his body
guided them toward ecstas
y.
“Please, say you’ll marry me.”
He hadn’t intended to propose like that, but his heart told him it
was the perfect time. The soul-deep connection they’d always shared
was physical again too.

“I thought
you’d never ask.”

Those few words
were all it took to send him over the edge. Thankfully, she was
right there with him, and he knew she always would be.

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