Starting Over (A Motorcycle Club BDSM Dark Romance)

Starting Over

by
Olivia Kobblestone

#

Copyright 201
4 Olivia Kobblestone

All Rights Reserved

Starting Over

Book design by
Olivia Kobblestone

Trigger warning: This book contains some hard to handle issues, like BDSM, prior abuse, and responses to that abuse.

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For my husband, who always supports me. Even when the going gets tough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you for letting me pursue my dreams!

She wants pleasure mixed with pain. Not just pain.

Tessa lived for Damon, but he lived to hurt her. Finally done with that cycle of heartbreak and abuse, she leaves him, committing her life to a new town.

No men. No pain. No hurt.

Until she has no choice but to work with a man who is nothing but smoking hot anger, the secret leader of a motorcycle club. Ryker.

Ryker is not looking for a woman, he just wants a secretary. But when he sees Tessa it lights a fire in him that he can’t deny.

Can she handle his darkness? The dirtiest, naughtiest, deepest parts of his personality?

“There you are, I was looking everywhere for you, where did you come in a-,” Jenny stopped mid sentence, her mouth agape as she stared at Tessa’s face.

She completely forgot that she didn’t put on any makeup, the flight had been exciting and terrifying all at the same time, and all she wanted to do was get the hell out of there.  Get the hell away from him.

She did it. She took the plunge and got the hell away from the vicious bastard once known as her boyfriend. The rich, entitled, self-serving prick.

Besides, her face looked nothing as bad as all the areas she hid on herself. She tugged on her shirt, just to be safe.

As quick as the look came on her face, it went away, and a sweet smile replaced it. It was sincere, and it helped Tessa feel at ease. Jenny always had that
effect
.

“I am so glad you’re here! How are you feeling?”

“A little tired, a little hungry.” Hungry was right. She only had fifty dollars to her name, it was all that she could save for her lunches, and from scrounging around the house. Taking the jewelry would have meant that she could hock it, and get enough for at least a month of rent, but it risked his anger, and his attention.

She hoped if she got far enough away, if she took as little as possible, he wouldn’t come after her. But with all his money, well, all his father’s money, he could easily find her.

Especially if she pawned jewelry he put a watch out on. No. It was better this way.

“That’s not a big deal, we can get you fed. So, I wasn’t lying when I said I had some good leads on a job, and a place. When we talked last week.”

It had been her first admission of what he was doing. On how he was doing it. The pain, the anguish. She had to tell someone, so she bought a little disposable phone and texted Jenny. After months of MyFace conversations, she finally let it all out. She was a better person than what she was getting.

And she knew it.

She was just too afraid to let him go. To let all of it go.

“Oh?”

“My boss is looking for a new secretary for the auto shop she owns, the old one got left to go and get married to some billionaire or something, I don’t know. Some hot rich guy. So they need a new one, and they also have an empty apartment. I told them about you…”

“What about me?” she interrupted, the hair on the back of her neck standing on edge. She didn’t want anyone to know, that was something Jenny promised.

She promised.

“Just that you were a friend and that you were in need of a place to stay and a job. That it was a bit of an emergency, because you were coming out of a bad breakup, which is mostly true. I told her we went to school together, and that you were even more organized than me. Don’t worry, she didn’t ask questions. Cynthia isn’t like that. She just said my reference was good enough. So you can start as early as next Monday!”

“Not earlier?”

“I mean, sure, if you want…”

“How about tomorrow?” she asked. Tessa wanted to put this far, far behind her.

“I guess, but are you sure you don’t need time to rest, or heal?” Jenny was being gentle, but the implication was clear. She looked like an abuse victim, and it was off putting.

Hell, she was an abuse victim. She
shuddered
inwardly as she thought it.

“What? No. I need to get to work as soon as possible. Do you think you can help me, you know, cover it?”

“Oh honey, a little makeup will go a long way, and if there is one thing I have a lot of, it is makeup. Let me handle that, I just want to make sure you are okay. That you can handle difficult situations…”

“Why, is this job difficult?”

“No, but the man you are going to be working for… he can be. A bit of a cranky ass. Hot, but totally sour.” Jenny gave her the rundown of her new job, exactly what she would be doing, and who she would be working for while the two of them walked through the airport, down towards the exit. “I mean, he runs a garage filled with knuckle head bikers. Hell. I’ve even heard some of them are in… a gang.

“So, I wouldn’t be working for your boss?” she asked a little confused. She honestly thought they would be in an office together. “And what do you mean? A gang?”

“No, well, yes, but not directly. You would be out at the bull riding facility. We have an office out there. The guy you are working for, Ryker, the cranky asshole, he would be your supervisor. As for gangs, well… I guess they go by a motorcycle club. Ryker isn’t part of it, at least that is what he says, he seems too mean and surly to actually hide if he was. Plus, I don’t think that Cynthia would let anyone actively work for her as a boss, you know, if they were involved in anything illegal. ”

“Does he go through secretaries easily?” she asked. She didn’t want to get hired just to get fired. And the whole motorcycle guys thing, it kind of irked her. But asshole could come in every shape and size, and with any bank account.

The man who she was running from had proved that. He didn’t even look the type.

“Not recently. He had Lucy for close to five years, but honestly, I hear she is the exception.” Jenny stopped talking when she realized that she was scaring Tessa. She amended, “Look, it won’t be that bad. I just want to prepare you, because it isn’t going to be a sunshine and roses gig, but it is what is open, and it is guaranteed income. A good one too. The man is a real bear, but he is fair. Just, gruff. Let me know if you want something else, we can try, but this was the best I could do.”

“No, this sounds good. Good pay, solid job. I can handle it.”

She could handle anything.

***

“You sure you don’t need more time? I bet Ryker can survive a few more days without anyone to help him. God knows he deserves it.” Jenny chuckled as she fussed about Tessa’s clothing. They were far too upscale to be working in a glorified barn, but when she took a bag of clothing with her, all she had was the designer clothes Damon bought for her. Even the jeans cost more than she would earn in a week.

“Yes, Jenny. I’m going to be fine,” she half hissed, their sister-like bond back in place, nagging at each other.

It felt good.

“Oh, alright. If you are sure. You look great, I mean, casual enough, but really freaking great, be careful though, those men hit on anything with legs. Especially cute legs.”

“Maybe you have that luck,” she acknowledged, Jenny’s body was perfect, especially compared to Tessa’s. She was a big boned girl, with a  good deal of curve. A flaw Damon was forever pointing out.

“You’d be so damn pretty if you just fucking lost weight, Tessa. It’s a shame, really. Good thing I want you anyways.”

She shuddered at the words echoing in her head. She touched her eye, the makeup Jenny brought was so professional, she couldn’t see any trace of trauma. It sure as hell beat staying indoors until it healed.

“Whatever, your body is slammin’. Now go on, before I turn this car around and take you home.”

Tessa stood just in time to get a slap on her ass as she pulled herself out of the car. She giggled and turned to swipe at her friends arm.

It was like they were in college all over again.

She walked up to the office building and stood there, just staring at the cracked doorway.

Jenny took off in her car, probably anxious to get to her own job. Big breaths. She could do this. She knew she could. So why was it so damn hard?

“What in the hell you standing’ there for?”

The bark caused her to jump, her body leaping into the air as soon as the gruff voice came down on her.

“Sorry, I-I, I’m the new assistant,” she spat out finally, walking into the doorway.

“I know right well who you are, but that don’t mean you get to stand in my doorway, blockin’ it up.” He was handsomer, younger, than she thought he would be. The man Jenny described was old and curmudgeony, and that was not Ryker at all. He was in great physical shape, if just a little haggard around the edges. Grey coming in at his temples. Maybe he was fifteen years older than her 23, or so, but he looked good.

Really damn good.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“To be late, or to come in here and take a job that could have gone to someone more deserving? Look this shit is serious. Working in a shop means you need to be aware and around all the time.”

“Excuse me?”

“ Just last fucking week I had to lift a damn bike off a kid who wasn’t careful. We need someone here to call 911”. Look, I’m trying you out as a favor to Cynthia, I made a promise, but I don’t like someone who I didn’t interview coming into my building, and acting like a damn blonde. You know your way around files? You know anything about secretarial duties?”

She did, in fact she worked as a secretary all through college part-time at a small family run legal firm. And she was good at it.

Tessa nodded, “Yes sir, I have experience.”

“Good, Lucy’s been gone for month and a half and I can’t get a damn secretary that knows what the hell she is going. I need someone who does. So get your ass in here and get to work. I’ve got invoices com in’ out of my ears to deal with, and so many papers are lost that Cynthia is going to skin me alive. Shit, plus I’ve got my own shit to run outside of this damn
business
.” He relented, putting his coffee down. “Not to mention I have to deal with all these shit heads who don’t know their ass from their damn elbow. Fucking prospects.”

Prospects?

“You ever tried trainin’ total idiots ones who have nothing more than a slip of paper from a high school vetch? It is like they’re actively
trying
’ to get hurt. I don’t got the damn time to deal with all this shit. Now I have the bullshit of being told who my assistant is going to be, no offense. I need to get the hell out of here.”  He ruffled his thick shoulder length hair and walked over to the door.

Ryker grabbed his hat from the hook on the wall and put it on his head. “I’ll be out in the shop, got an important bike I’m meant tone working on. Do you think you could handle the invoices on my desk? And take any calls that might come in. If it’s Cynthia, tell her to go fuck herself, politely, and if it ain’t, don’t be polite. I like her.”

He was gone, leaving her all alone in the middle of the office with piles and piles of papers, and no idea how to organize them.

Yeah, this wasn’t a recipe for disaster. She blew out a breath and got to work, the only way this was going to fix it was if  she had a magic wand, and that wasn’t
going
to happen. Instead she dug in deep and looked through the entire filing system. It was mostly intact. Knowing that, she got to work quickly, trying to organize and sort just about everything she could.

It helped to have a job. It helped not to think about Damon, about all the things he did to her, and most importantly, it helped to be thousands of miles from him. To a place where he couldn’t touch her.

Hours must have gone by, just her, files, and her desire to forget him, before Ryker came back in, slamming the door.

“What the hell?” His voice echoed out. She shot up from being bent down, the open drawer above her catching her head with a loud bang.

“Dammit, ow.” She held her head and pulled it out, standing while fingering her soon to be goose egg gingerly.

“Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting it to be so… clean… in here.” Was that sheepishness she detected?

“I reorganized everything, then I went ahead and cleaned the office, it was a stye.”

Ryker crossed the room and grabbed her, checking her head over. It felt a little intrusive, but sweet. He was seriously concerned. “It looks like you’ll have a bit of a lump, but nothing serious. You okay?”

“Yeah, I should have been more careful. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and this is nothing.” It really as nothing to her, but she tried to brush it off, smiling.

“Sorry about that, I’ve been working for weeks without a damn assistant. It can get a little… overwhelming.” He pulled off his hat and set it on the desk, a smile crossing his lips for the first time since they met.

She could see the lines in his smile, but otherwise he was the perfect specimen of a man. Her heart couldn’t help but race, just a little. Even if she didn’t want it to.

“I think you might just survive here. Why don’t you go on home, you did a lot of work.” Suddenly that smile vanished, replace with  But make sure you are on time, or early tomorrow. I won’t abide by lateness, ain’t got time to sit around and wait for you to get your ass in to work, you understand?”

Damn, the gruff came out in him quick. It shook her, but part of it made her feel comfortable. Accepted. He wasn’t being mean to be mean, he was being fair. And he clearly cared.

If this was what Jenny referred to as hard to handle, she could definitely deal with it. Even after everything that happened.

“Yes, I will make sure to be on time.”

“How are you getting here?” he asked, suddenly.

“Jenny is dropping me off and picking me up.” She looked down at her watch, Jenny wouldn’t be here for another hour and a half.

“Damn, that girl is late to her own job most of the time, Cynthia is really lax about that, because, well, she is too soft with her, but it won’t work here. You have a car?”