State of Decay (Omnibus (Parts 1-4)) (17 page)

I
don’t remember much of
what happened next. My mind decided once again to click in and out of reality, saving me some of the details that I couldn’t handle. I remember falling to my knees next to Jude and thinking that he couldn’t possibly survive with so much blood pooling everywhere. I remember sitting there while people seemed to move in slow motion around me. I remember someone slapping me and snapping out of my misery enough to help them apply pressure to his wound and load him into the back of the semi, so the young woman soldier, who was also a medic, could take care of him as we left. I joined Tex in the front of the truck, wanting to be useful, wanting to keep my mind off of the fact that Jude could be dead by the time we stopped somewhere safely. Tex never questioned me, he just handed me and automatic rifle and let me take out my misery on the zombies from my window. Three soldiers drove the tank and I recall the explosions and non-stop rapid fire of the machine gun wiping out swaths of zombies.

We cut a path of utter and total destruction through Charlotte, zombies fell before us en masse and blood and carnage rained down in sheets all around us. The tank unloaded every single bullet, every single weapon it possessed by the time we got out of the city. The only thing we had to worry about was following slowly behind the tank and avoiding the larger piles of bodies and abandoned vehicles.  It was all relatively easy, but slow enough to make the ache of worry in my chest grow with every passing minute. What felt like an eternity later, but was more like two hours of non-stop driving, we pulled into the parking lot of the Toys-R-Us that Jude and I had stopped at a few days before.

“We’ll stop here for the night, ditch the semi for something a bit smaller, and then head back to your base in the morning,” Tex said in the silence of the cab of the truck. I smiled, but didn’t face him. He sighed. “You love him.” It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer. “He’ll be alright,” he said gently. I nodded and exited the cab after I saw the final zombie in the area meet its end by a soldier I’d yet to meet. My hand was shaking uncontrollably when I reached out to unlatch the back of the semi. Several people exited the semi as I climbed up into the back.

“How is he?” I asked the young woman with huge blue eyes who looked up at me as I approached. Her mouth thinned into a line and she glanced back down at Jude’s ashen face.

“He’s alright for now. The bleeding has stopped and there is an exit wound on his back, so no bullet to dig out. It looks like he was lucky and the bullet missed his heart.” Yeah, lucky. “The sooner we get him antibiotics and clean bandages though, the better,” she said. I nodded and scooted aside as two guys came over to help move Jude inside the toy shop. I felt entirely and completely helpless.

“Let’s set up shop inside,” I said softly before jumping out of the back of the semi. The soldiers inside were all already making preparations to hunker down for the night. Kiddie blankets and pillows were found to form makeshift sleeping areas and shelves were being moved to block the front, glass windows and doors for extra security. It felt …
weird
not having any specific job to do.

“Tex, what do you need me to do?” I asked once he headed my direction. He searched my face and sighed. I raised a brow. Surely he wasn’t going to give me a hard time.

“To be honest, Melody, I don’t need your help. I have a group of guys who are already on their way back to a few places we passed to scout for supplies for the night and the Captain and I are taking the semi to exchange it for better vehicles for our group.” My mouth popped open to argue, but Tex cut me off. “You’re physically and emotionally drained, sweetheart. You need your arm looked at. You need to rest … and you need to be here for Jude in case he wakes up,” he said softly. I nodded and took a deep breath. He was right.

“Okay,” I answered in a whisper. Tex took charge of all the evening’s preparations and I went over and allowed the female medic to clean and dress my wound. When she was all done, I walked over to where Jude was asleep on a kiddie mat and covered with a SpongeBob fleece blanket. I knelt down and ran my hand across his forehead and whispered a small prayer against his cheek as I placed a kiss there. I snuggled close by his side, careful
not to jostle him. I shoved a stuffed animal under my head and … promptly fell into a restless sleep
.

W
e drove in silence most
of the way. Two soldiers thinking about everything we’d just been through—everyone we’d lost and everything we would still face in the coming days. So much death and destruction. So much fucking insanity. I really didn’t know how much more any man could be expected to take before he lost his mind and humanity completely. And then there was Melody Carter. My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter and I clenched my jaw harder. What was it about her that drew me to her? Sure, she was beautiful. She was also tough and smart, but most of all she stirred up feelings inside of me that I never thought I’d feel again. Not since … Alison. But, Melody was falling in love with Jude. It was plain for anyone with two eyes to see. I was surprised I hadn’t noticed it before. I knew that they
said
they were an item back in Charlotte, but I’d held out hope that it had all been an act. I don’t think Melody had even known that she was in love with Jude. Not until she thought she was going to lose him.

“We should check over there,” Captain Parsons said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded and pulled the semi into the parking lot of a Walmart Supercenter. I’m always surprised by the sight of an absolutely deserted shopping center, especially when the only signs of life come from those who aren’t even living. How messed up is that? If it weren’t for the zombies shuffling around in between abandoned vehicles and overturned shopping carts, the entire area would have been as silent as a tomb. I don’t know which will eventually drive me over that super fine line of insanity … the absolute silence and void of life in the world or the fact that I sometimes appreciate the sounds of the undead. Even some sort of noise is better than …
nothingness
.

“Okay, let’s do this quickly and get out of here. The other team should be getting supplies, so all we need to get are the vehicles.” Captain Parsons didn’t reply. “Captain?” He was staring out his window at the several zombies that were already making their way slowly toward us in the fading daylight.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, don’t you Tex?” His voice seemed far away and reflective. He turned his head and met my stare. His eyes were an eerie shade of blue, a shade so light that they seemed to look straight through you and straight to your soul. He looked tired and like he’d aged five years over the last several months. “No one blamed you for bringing Germain back to the base.” I sighed and ran a hand over my eyes. I was so tired. “Any one of us would have done the exact same thing and taken her back to the base with us. We’d all lost someone. Every single one of us have something to prove. Someone we wish we would have been there for that first day.” His eyes searched mine. I nodded quickly in understanding. I knew no one blamed me, I even knew that any of the other soldiers would have done the same thing, but that didn’t mean I still didn’t blame myself. Soldiers died. People suffered. All because I wanted to make up for my past shortcomings.

“Ready?” he asked after a moment.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I answered with a smile.

The first several zombies were easily dispatched with knives driven into their temples. We immediately found a large SUV that was easy to hotwire and had half a tank of gas, so we left it running and circled the parking lot together, looking for another SUV or van that would hold six or more people. I soon spotted the perfect vehicle. An RV sat all by its lonesome at the back of the parking lot. I whistled to the Captain and pointed at the vehicle as I began moving toward it. Two zombies were between me and the RV. The first one I took down without even halting my stride. It was so swollen and slow that I was surprised it didn’t self-combust into a pile of slushy zombie guts. It hadn’t stood a chance. The second one brought me up short. It had been a woman, probably in her late twenties, and wearing jeans and a black tee shirt when she turned. I blinked once, at first feeling unsure of why I even hesitated.

The closer she got the more I noticed how much of a resemblance the zombie had to Alison. Her hair was the same length, her build was the same and this zombie even had on the same type of dressy, decorative scarf that Alison had always worn. I stood there, transfixed, as the zombie came closer and closer, dragging one leg behind her as if it had been damaged. I didn’t move or breathe, I just stood there watching her, hearing the gurgling in her throat and the snapping of her teeth as she got within a couple of feet of me. Captain Parsons yelled out and let out a string of curses. I heard him running in my direction and yet I stood rooted to that spot, unable to move.

It seemed so long ago that Alison had died, so long ago that I had put her and her parents down in their home. And yet, it seemed like yesterday. I had always been responsible for others, always taking care of family, civilians, and soldiers. I’d failed so many times. I didn’t want to fail anymore. I just wanted the loneliness and failure to end.

The female zombie reached out and made a break for me, realizing an easy meal was within her grasp. Her hand reached my shoulder and … a shot caught her in the temple. The zombie’s head jerked to the side and her body fell to the ground pulling me forward. I stumbled over the corpse, but caught and righted myself before I landed on top of the undead woman. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel the extra blood pumping at each of my temples, could hear the blood as is rushed through my veins and past my ear drums. Time stood still as the realization of what I just almost let happen came up to choke me. I stumbled again just as Captain Parsons reached me. His hands grasped me roughly about the shoulders and he jerked me until I turned to face him.

“Are you bitten?” he gasped out. I shook my head and swallowed.

“No,” I said roughly.

“Good.” His fist caught me right in the jaw and I went flying to the ground like I’d been punched by a much younger and much larger man. I dragged myself off of the asphalt, spit out some blood, and wiggled my jaw. Not
broken, but sure felt like hell. “Pick up your knife, soldier,” he barked. “Let’s get the RV so we can get back to group. Right now,” he ordered.

“Yes, Sir!” I grabbed my knife and did as my commanding officer told me.

We pulled up to the toy store a few hours later with both vehicles and a few supplies we’d found in the trunks of cars around the Walmart parking lot. Much easier and less risky than entering the store. I’d done a lot of thinking on the way back by myself. I’d come to some conclusions and had made a decision that I knew I had to make. One that I knew some people probably wouldn’t understand. I would break it to the group later though—after they were all safely deposited at the base. I got out of the RV and headed to the door of the toy store behind the Captain.

“Sir, about what happened …” I began. The Captain stopped and turned to face me, his eyes sharp and discerning.

“I’ve already forgotten about what happened,” he said. “Just don’t let it happen again, soldier.” I breathed in a deep, grateful, sigh and nodded my head.

“It won’t, Sir,” I answered truthfully. He watched me a moment longer before opening the door and going inside. I followed him in and found a spot I could crash for a few hours. The next day I’d be depositing everyone safely at the base and then be headed on my own separate way. I didn’t really have a plan or even know where I would be headed, but I knew I had to go. Everyone would just have to understand.