Stay

Stay

By S. Mulholland

Published by S. Mulholland

Copyright 2013 S. Mulholland

             
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

             
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

Editing Services provided by Jennifer Nunez

Cover Art by
Stephanie at Once Upon a Time Covers

Dedication

To my husband, for saving me.

And to
all those that have had a Jason Roberts in their lives—we never forget them do we?

Prologue

             
I get off the bus with butterflies in my stomach because I know what’s about to come.

             
It’s the same thing every day.

             
I grab onto the straps of my backpack until my knuckles turn white to try and stop myself from getting angry at what’s about to go down in this hell hole I’m supposed to call my home.

             
I turn up Disturbed’s ‘Down with the Sickness’ on my iPod to prepare myself for battle. The song’s really not my everyday cup of tea—but I have found that it gives me the boost necessary to deal with what I’m about to endure.

             
I take a deep breath before looking up at the building that’s supposed to be my “home”.

             
I don’t look at it for long. I’m just prolonging the inevitable.

“Here we go…” I mutter before opening the front door to the building.

              I get up the stairs to our apartment and hesitate for a second before I open the door with trembling hands.
FUCK! Never let her break you, Alex!

             
I enter the foyer and look around but it doesn’t seem like she’s home.

             
A big sigh of relief escapes my lips as I set my backpack down on the round wooden table.

             
I start to take my coat off when I feel my hair being pulled back violently.
Shit! So much for relief. Here we go!

             
My earphones fall out but I can still hear the music blasting through the speakers that are now on the floor.

“Why are you fucking late,
Alexandra?” My mother growls in my ear as my head is tilted back.

             
I hate it when she calls me by my full first name. She always says it with so much venom that it makes me despise my own name. That’s why now, I introduce myself to everyone as Alex.

             
Elizabeth doesn’t seem to get it, though. One day, I swear I’ll be out of this shitty place.

             
I don’t wince at the pain from having my hair pulled back because I know that will just egg her on more.

“The bus took a different route toda
y,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Are you fucking giving me lip,
Alexandra? I sure hope not, because you know what happens when you give me lip.”

“No, M
other, I’m not. Just stating the facts.”

“
Shut your fucking lazy ass up. I work too damn hard and too damn much to get any fucking lip from you, you understand?” She yells as she starts dragging me past the living room and into my bedroom.

             
I push away from her death grip and stand up tall close to her face.

“I understand,
Mother
, you’re the only one allowed to give anyone
lip,
” I spit out.

Those words leave my mouth, o
nly because I always have to act brave otherwise the beatings are worse if I don’t fight back. But my body always shakes uncontrollably as I do.

“What did you say,
Bitch?” She yells angrily into my face.

             
I stare directly at her with no amount of emotion on my face as I decide not to answer that question because I know she heard me.

             
I stand there waiting for it to begin or end, I don’t know at this point because my heart is about to pop out of my chest as it always does whenever she wants to fight me for no reason.

“So you’re
not going to answer me, huh?” She asks with a menacing smirk on her face.

             
I just continue to stare her down with the balls she thinks I have in order to be able to stand up to her.

             
The reality of it is, I don’t want to do this every
single
day because I have to mentally check out and become someone else to deal with the life I’ve been dealt this far. That person that I have to become is
a lot
like the person I have vowed never to become—my
mother
. 

             
She makes a move for my hair again but I step back which makes her even angrier, so she launches herself at me to hold me down on my bed until she has my hair in her grasp—again.
Shit!

             
She drags me towards the end of the bed as I try to make a grab for her hands but it’s impossible.

             
My mother is a petite brown haired woman but she works for a meat packing company that allows her to be strong as all hell…literally.

             
I try to walk with my head tilted back to take some of the pain away when she yells, “Get on your fucking knees, Alexandra. Now!”

             
I do as she says because I know where this is going to go regardless of me fighting back or not.

             
Still holding my hair she comes around to face me. “Exactly, Alexandra, don’t forget who runs this bitch. I do. Not you. I make the money, I make the living. You are only here to cook, clean, and do all that other shit I don’t want to do. Don’t you ever forget that. The only reason why I have you is because your asshole of a father has decided he has better things to do than to raise a stupid dumbass like you. Just my luck, right?” She seethes.

             
I don’t respond because I know what she says is true.

             
My father has never wanted me, not that my mother ever has either, but at least she had the decency to pretend like she did to keep up pretenses with her friends and family. Just
my
luck, I guess.

             
She makes a move for her belt and starts undoing it.

             
I try to shake my head but she holds it still.

             
“Don’t fucking move or this is going to be worse, Alexandra. I’m going to show you who runs shit, and it certainly is not you.”

I lo
ok at her and start to get mad as hell at the way she treats me for no apparent reason. “Okay, Elizabeth, show me what you got,” I challenge.

Her eyes get wide with shock and maybe a little admiration.

That doesn’t stop me from continuing, “It’s the same every day. You think I don’t know how it goes? For some reason you have to prove that you’re the one with power right now…and I say
right now
, ELIZABETH because soon enough I’ll be gone and you’ll be here all ALONE with no one to use as your punching bag and for that I pity you. You may have me now, but not for long and then what? What are you going to do with all that anger you have inside your black heart, huh!?”

That little glimpse of admiration that flashed through her eyes is no longer there when
the first blow from the belt hits me right on my back.

“Fuck you. You worthless piece of shit! I’ll be glad when you’re gone. I won’t have to look at your fucking stupid ass face that reminds me of your shitfuck of a father every day. Good riddance, if you ask me,” she yells, letting go of my hair.

             
I try to stand up to block the blows but she continues to fling that belt directly on my back and that buckle keeps hitting every bone in my spine instead of my skin.

             
I try not to wince at the pain emanating from each blow by reminding myself that I’m used to this and it shouldn’t be a shock to my body anymore.

             
She keeps going until she finally pisses me off to the limit when she continues putting me down, “You’ll be here forever, anyway, you’re a piece of shit that won’t get into college. You’ll be here for me to use as a fucking punching bag whenever the fuck I want, Bitch! Remember that!”

             
Through the pain, I look up at her between blows and grab the hand that’s holding the belt to make her stop.

             
She glares at me as I stand up ignoring the welts already forming on my back.

             
I grip her wrist as hard as I can while I seethe, “NO, ELIZABETH! That’s where you’re wrong, I’m not a piece of shit and I have gotten into college. So you see,
Mother,
I’m out, very, very soon. I’m about to be a senior and at most all the time I have left with you is a year. Go ahead and do whatever you want to me now because you’ll never have me again. You can try to break me like you always have, but that’s not going to happen because
Mother,
I AM better than you will ever be and I don’t belong in this hellhole with you. You can rot here all on your own,” I finish with a smile.

             
She pushes me back with her free hand and swings at me catching the right side of my face.

             
I mistakenly let go of her wrist to rub my face.

             
She takes this opportunity to hit me again with the belt and this time the buckle gets me right in the rib cage so I fall to my knees, holding onto my side.

             
She punches me in the face and I finally hit the ground.

             
I turn to look at her smiling back at me as if to say “I always win” and she does, but not for long.

             
Her face turns to stone as I smile back at her.

             
She starts kicking me repeatedly, so I hunch over to cover my stomach but my efforts are pointless.

             
I lay there taking every kick she has to offer.

             
As I start to black out I tell myself that I will never be a victim. I will always fight back.

             
I deserve better than this. I deserve to be happy.

             
One day, I know I’ll know what it’s like to love and be loved.

             
I try to smile again as I think about getting out of here and finally being able to know what happy is before finally succumbing to obscurity.