Stay (17 page)

Julian leans his head back on the couch and looks straight ahead. “Do you know that I haven’t touched you tonight because I can’t focus on anything else when I’m touching you? Do you know I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your lips and your tongue and your beautiful body since Saturday? I had to will my body to stay still and not pick you up and hold you when I saw you at lunch today. I didn’t even trust myself to shake your hand. I’m aching to be close to you, to be inside of you. This physical connection between us could consum
e me.”

Okay, that’s one of the most erotic things a man has ever said to me. My stomach flutters, and I feel a simmering heat rising up slowly through my body. I want to tell him I feel the exact same way and that I want nothing more than for him to touch me, but I sense he’s trying to make a
point.

“I’m not really sure what it is, Alexa, but something about you makes me feel like I’ve known you forever, and I know you know this thing that’s happening between us isn’t just physical. And I think that’s what’s freaking you out, and to be honest, it’s freaking me out a little too. It’s very intense, and I’m okay admitting to you that I’m a bit overwhelmed by it all. I just wish you would have stayed and talked to me about it. About how you were fee
ling.”

As I sit there and listen to Julian give me his take on what’s happening between us, I’m in awe of his ability to be so honest and put himself out there. I draw on his strength and try to recipr
ocate.

“I’m sorry I left the way I did, Julian. I regretted it the minute I told you I wanted to leave. But I couldn’t talk about what I was feeling then, and I’m not sure I can now either. Again, that’s why I sent you that song. But you need to know it was an incredible night for me, and it was wrong of me to ruin it for both o
f us.”

He’s looking at me now, and instead of averting my eyes, I keep looking at him and continue. I’m doing pretty well here. “I have a very hard time letting people get close to me, Julian, and the walls I’ve built around my heart are very high and very strong. You have to decide if you want to deal with that because I’m not sure I can let yo
u in.”

He answers immediately. “I have no choice but to deal, Alexa. I saw that this week, when I was away from you. You need to decide if you really want me to get in, because I will. I have to. I want you in my
life.”

Julian didn’t lie when he said he had no problem expressing his feelings, and I’m so moved by his words. I just told this amazing man I had some serious trust issues, and he responded by telling me I needed to get ready because he was going to change all of that. I’m not even sure what to say, so I don’t say anything. Instead I lean over and place my lips softly on his. The kiss that follows is tender, sensual, and all lips. At first Julian keeps his hands at his side, but it quickly becomes too much, and he pulls me in close by putting his hands on the side of my face. I open my eyes and see that his are closed. His brow is furrowed as if he’s concentrating really hard on something. His breathing starts to get heavier as he slips his tongue inside my mouth. He licks the inside of my mouth and gently sucks on my tongue. I feel my core tighten, and the warm sensation that he elicits from my body takes flight and spreads its wings. I return his kiss in the same manner. It’s a passionate, deep, searching kiss and one that feels like it’s asking a question. Julian wants to know if I want him. This time I feel like I can read his
mind.

I pull back from him just a bit so he can see my eyes. I nod softly and stand up. I reach down for his hand. He threads his fingers through mine and stands up. I take the lead and walk toward my bedroom. He shuts and locks the door behind us and leads me to my bed. It was done very subtly, but it’s obvious to both of us that he’s in charge now. He just needed me to say it was
okay.

Julian slowly pulls my shirt over my head, drops in on the floor, and runs his hands down my back. He unhooks my bra on the next pass. He runs his tongue along my collarbone and shoulders as he slips the straps off. My bra falls to the floor, and Julian embraces me tightly. I pull away a bit and reach down to grab the hem of his shirt. I’m dying to feel his skin against mine. He lets me try to pull it over his head and laughs softly when I can’t reach. He does it for me and drops his shirt on the floor next to mine. He pulls me close and smashes my breasts to his chest. His skin is warm and soft. I reach up and wrap my arms around his
neck.

“This is the first time you’ve been barefoot around me, Alexa. You aren’t so tall, are you?” It’s funny, and I giggle back. Each time we’ve made out while standing up, I’ve been in four-inch heels or higher. The height difference between my 5'5” frame and his 6'1” frame is very noticeabl
e now.

“Well at least I can add this to my list of reasons why I need to wear such high h
eels.”

He just laughs and kisses my neck. He lowers his hands and gets busy working on the drawstring of my shorts. Once he gets it untied, he grabs the waistband and pulls them slowly down. I help him undress me and step out of them. I’m naked now except for a black, satin G-string. Julian slowly looks me up and down, and instead of feeling exposed, I feel appreciated. There is nothing better than having such a beautiful man look at my body the way Julian does. He leaves my panties on and runs his hands over my bare ass. He cups my cheeks and squeezes as he pulls me into him. He groans into my mouth as he begins to kiss me again. His hands make contact with my aching nipples, and he rolls them in his fingers and pinches them gently. He breaks his mouth away from mine and places it on one of my breasts. He nibbles and licks at my nipple, and with every touch a jolt of arousal shoots through my body. I feel myself getting wetter, and I know for sure it will not take much for me to o
rgasm.

While he’s enjoying my tits, I get started undressing him. I don’t do it slowly. I don’t have the same level of control Julian does, and I want him badly. I tug at his button, lower the zipper, and yank his shorts down in a fluid motion. He looks up at me and sees the determination and lust in my
eyes.

“Mmm … that’s sexy, Alexa. Can’t wait anymore, can you? I know how you feel. I’ve been dying to touch you all
day.”

And he isn’t kidding. He has a massive erection, and it’s right there in front of me. Julian isn’t wearing underwear again, and I decide this is another thing I really appreciate about him. It gives me easy access to his hot, hard body. I reach around and grab his bare ass and pull him tightly to me. He has started kissing me again, and when his erect penis makes contact with my body, he groans louder and catches my lower lip between his teeth. It’s just this side of painful, and an involuntary “ouch” come
s out.

“
Lo siento, corazón
. That’s your fault for grabbing my ass and pulling my dick into you.” He licks my lower lip and then kisses it g
ently.

He pulls my panties off and finishes undressing me. We climb onto my queen-size bed, and Julian quickly gets me underneath him. One of my arms is above my head, and he nestles himself against me. This position allows him to lean his chest into me. He props himself up on one side and starts running his fingers up and down my body lazily. His fingertips slowly circle my nipples. He runs his hand underneath my breasts and caresses each one firmly. It tickles me and arouses me, and I arch my body up involuntarily, asking for more. I run my fingers through his thick hair and tug on it in response to the sparks shooting throughout my
body.

“
Te gusta
, Lexie? I love the way your body responds to me. It’s like you were made for me to t
ouch.”

Hell yes, I like that! “Yes. Please don’t stop.” I know I don’t have to ask. I know Julian will make sure I’m taken care of in every way. I see him shake his head before I close my eyes and let the feeling of bliss ripple throu
gh me.

He continues his slow, delicious tactile assault on my upper body, and I start to squirm beneath his hands. The best part is that he hasn’t even really gotten started yet. Because this isn’t our first time together, I know what to expect and what I want. I can’t wait for his mouth to be between my legs. I hunger for his hard penis to be inside me. But what he’s doing feels so good that I don’t want him to stop that either. He hooks his leg around the leg of mine closest to him and pulls back, gently causing my legs to spread wider. He lowers his fingers and starts caressing the inside of my thighs. Up and down, up and down. He just stares at me while doing this, watching me with lust in his eyes, and I start to tremble beneath his touch. I’m feeling so needy. I want to come so bad. I reach down with my free hand and attempt to direct his fingers to my wet, pulsating with anticipation, sex. If he just touches my clit, I’ll come. He intercepts my hand before I make any progress and brings it up over my head like the other. He lets out a little ch
uckle.

“Not this time, Alexa. I don’t need your help with this. I know what I’m doing, and I promise it will be worth the wait, baby. I’m going to give you what you need.” He presses his hand into mine, leaving me unable to really move or touch him. “Can I let go? Can I trust you to let me do my job here?” His voice is teasing, but I sense Julian’s serious about being the one in co
ntrol.

I nod my head. “Yes, you can trust me to lay here and let you pleasure me. Sorry for interrupting. You may continue now.” I’m a smart woman. I quickly realize that the longer his hand is holding my hand down, the longer it’s away from my overheated body. “But I’d appreciate it very much if you would hurry up and get to the point.” Julian flashes me a wicked smile and goes back to stroking my inner thighs gently and slowly. Good God, I’m dying
here.

Not only is Julian taking his sweet time making me come, but I’m in a position where I can’t really touch him. I feel his hard-on against my leg, and I really want to stroke it like he’s stroking me. “You do know the sooner I come, the sooner I can touch you too, r
ight?”

“Alexa, you’re shameless. Are you trying to brib
e me?”

“Is it working? Because, if not, I can provide more details on what I plan on doing to
you.”

“Are you that desperate, Alexa? You really can’t wait any lo
nger?”

I shake my head no, and I’m being serious. I need him to make me come before I ex
plode.

Julian’s problem, if you can really call it a problem, is that he’s a patient, slow, unselfish lover. And in any normal situation that might be okay. But with me, it’s not.
My
problem is that the second he touches me, my body ignites with desire, and I just need him to be inside of me. The full body contact that comes from him being deep inside of me is the only thing that completely soothes the ache I feel. I know what he means when he says the physical connection between us could consume him. It’s consuming me right now. I’m starting to wonder how I ever survived without his
touch.

I guess Julian decides to take pity on me because the next thing I feel is his hot tongue on my hypersensitive clit. He moves so quickly that I don’t even have enough time to brace myself for the onslaught of his skilled mouth. He begins feasting on me as he runs his tongue up and down my wet sex. The gentleness with which he was touching me before is gone. I asked for it, and he’s giving it me. My clit is so sensitive I find myself flinching every time his tongue presses down on it. It only takes a few minutes before the orgasm I’ve been longing for rips through me like a freshly lit fuse. It’s hot and burning and leaves a scorched path in its wake. He keeps flicking his tongue over my clit after I come, and I’m forced to push him away and beg him to stop. I can’t take an
ymore.

“Now you want me to stop? You need to make up your mind, Alexa.” He’s teasing, but he stops. He knows he just rocked my world. He moves out from between my shaking thighs and rolls over on his back. I immediately see an opportunity appear before me, and I take a page from Julian’s book and move quickly to straddle him. He looks up at me, startled and with a burning heat in his eyes. He runs his hands through my hair, and I quickly remember the conversation we had the second night we talked when he told me that he wanted to feel my hair floating across his chest as I was straddling him and making my way down his body. I’m happy to oblige. But first I need to address the protection
issue.

“Do you have any condoms? Because I don’t.” And I’m sure of that. I did have some here but threw them away a few months ago after I convinced myself I would never be having sex again. Wow, I really was a mess. I know neither Marissa nor Shannon use them e
ither.

“In my wallet. In my shorts.” He’s breathing hard, and I feel his dick twitching steadily against my sex. I know if I just moved up a little, Julian would easily slide right in. After that orgasm, I’m wet and ready for his long shaft. I think he knows it too and lays very still, waiting to see what I’m going to do. I can tell by his expression, if I let him, he would gladly forgo the condom. But, as much as I want him inside of me,
al la natural
, I just can’t do it. I roll off of him and walk to the other side of the bed to grab his wallet out of his shorts. He watches me as I move across the
room.

“Don’t move.” I issue the order to Julian playfully as I pull his wallet out. He nods his assent that I can get the condoms out of his wallet myself. “I don’t need your help with this. I know what I’m doing, and I promise it will be worth the wait. I’m going to give you what you need.” I repeat the words he said to me just before he unleashed his tongue
on me.

I’m rewarded with a big laugh. “I don’t doubt that for a second, Alexa. Just hurry the hell up because now I’m the one who can’t wait any
more.”