Stay With Me, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 5) (12 page)

Risa poked her head around the doorframe. “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect. Would you mind if I put drop cloths on the floor? That’s the only thing I’d be worried about.”

Risa grinned and gestured for Jessa to follow her. She stepped into the short hallway and followed Risa to the end where Marley was in another office. This one was a replica of the other office and its entire floor was covered in drop cloths. She looked to Risa whose grin morphed into a laugh.

“I have some extra drop clothes here if you need them,” Risa offered once she stopped laughing. “I use this space for painting signs.” She gestured to the ones arranged on a table.

Marley turned, holding a sign up. “They look great! Gage is going to be so excited.”

“Glad they turned out how you wanted. Let me help you load them up,” Risa replied, striding to the table and carefully stacking the signs.

That evening, Jessa stood by the windows in her room and looked out over the mountains. She was about to go downstairs for another shift in the restaurant. She’d come to count on the work and enjoyed bantering with Harry, Delia and the customers, along with seeing a rotating collection of Gage and Marley’s social circle. Her mind spun to thoughts of Eli. Most of her morning had kept her so busy, she managed to function without her entire body tingling at the memory of last night. Yet, here in her room, alone in the quiet, heat flashed through her and liquid need built inside. The way she felt with him was beyond anything she’d ever felt with a man. She felt as if she was standing on the edge of a precipice, or she might have already tumbled over, but she didn’t recognize the feeling. Everything with him was just plain…amazing. She wished she knew what to do about it.

E
li checked
the mooring lines and turned to look out over the bay one last time. It was late evening with the sun hovering low over the mountains, its orb shimmering and painting the sky with streaks of gold and orange. The day had been beyond busy. They had a boat full of six today. Eli was coming to wonder how he’d managed these charters without Ryan’s help. He’d been indispensable today between helping generally with anything and everything and spending a good hour assisting a customer with a badly tangled line and broken reel. They kept extra equipment on the boat for situations like that, but the man had insisted he only wanted to fish with his own equipment. Ryan’s patience was greater than Eli’s, so he’d happily turned the job over to him. Cliff and Ryan had left a few minutes earlier to ferry the customers over to the Fish Factory to get their daily catch flash frozen and overnighted to wherever they wanted it to go. Eli would pick Ryan up after he grabbed a pizza for the boys.

He took a breath, savoring the briny scent of the ocean. At the sound of the water surface breaking, he glanced to the side to find a seal looking at him curiously. Seals frequented the harbor docks for sunning and seeking out fish scraps. The seal’s dark round eyes stared at him for a long moment before the seal curled and dipped back under the water, undulating along the surface. Eli turned to walk up the dock, grinning when he realized the seal was following and watching him.

Jessa had been flitting in his thoughts all day. Any moment he wasn’t entirely preoccupied with whatever he was doing, he thought of her—her flashing silver eyes, the feel of her soft curves under his touch, the way it felt to sink inside of her, and the incandescent buzz of joy he felt being close to her. Joy wasn’t a familiar feeling to him. His childhood had offered little of it, and his choice to keep his emotional distance as an adult had somewhat boxed the opportunity for that kind of joy out of his life. Oh, he experienced joy when he was on the ocean or in the wilderness, but that was a different kind of joy. This thing he felt with Jessa—it made him feel out of control, which he didn’t particularly like. Except it felt so good to be with her. It almost hurt to think of not experiencing more of her. So while he was most definitely stumbling along in uncharted territory for him, he wasn’t about to stop.

When he reached his truck, he impulsively pulled his phone out and texted her. He was taking Ryan shopping tomorrow and for some inexplicable reason, he wanted her to go with them.

Hey, would you be up for a shopping trip for Ryan tomorrow?

He didn’t wait for her reply because she’d mentioned she was working in the restaurant tonight. He slipped his phone back in his pocket and headed over to pick up the promised pizza for Ryan and Cliff.

Later that night, Eli leaned into the couch cushions and sighed. Ryan had just gone up to bed after devouring most of the pizza. Eli figured Ryan would be asleep the second his head hit the pillow. He’d looked as exhausted as Eli felt. Long days on the water did that. Eli heard a faint buzz. He knew it must be his phone, but he figured he’d ignore it. Then, he realized Jessa might be replying to his text earlier. What little energy he had left propelled him off the couch to search for his phone. He found it on the counter by the refrigerator. Sure enough, Jessa’s name blinked on the screen. He swiped the screen to read her message.

Shopping for Ryan? Sounds interesting. I’d love to go! Where do we meet?

Eli quickly typed his reply.

How about I pick you up at the lodge around 10am?

Her answer was quick.

Perfect! I’ll meet you out front. Gotta go…busy here tonight. 😊

Eli found himself standing alone in the kitchen smiling at his phone. When he snapped into awareness, he experienced a moment of foolishness. He was feeling goofily pleased that Jessa had agreed to go shopping with him. For good measure, his mind repeated it.
Shopping
. The thing was he hadn’t the slightest idea of everything he needed to make sure Ryan had. Thus far, Ryan was making do with the surplus of Eli’s t-shirts. Because Ryan was much lankier than Eli, he was wearing the jeans he’d arrived in and a few pairs of pants Eli had in stock at the store. Given that he was fishing or outside almost daily, Ryan was running through clothes much too rapidly for it to be practical to continue this pattern. Eli had determined they’d drive to Kenai and stock up on whatever Ryan needed. From Eli’s experience in childhood, he doubted Ryan had many choices before. Eli considered himself lucky since he’d moved to Diamond Creek. Between his retail store, fishing charters and guided hunting, he made damn good money. Up to now, he had no one but himself to spend it on. He was strangely excited to spend it on Ryan, although he hadn’t the faintest idea where to start. He hoped Jessa could help.

Dude, it’s great she can help, but that’s not why you invited her. Face it, you’ll take any chance you can get to see her.
Eli shook his head to himself and shrugged. He knew perfectly well all he wanted was to see Jessa. The feeling was strange and disconcerting, but he was damned if he could make it go away.

* * *

E
arly the next morning
, Eli stood in the kitchen and waited for the coffee pot to beep. He planned to do a few hours of paperwork this morning, mostly plowing his way through invoices and payments for the month. Ryan would sleep until Eli woke him. He’d come to learn Ryan could wake early, but only if prompted, unlike Eli who was up early no matter what. The coffee maker finally beeped, and he quickly poured a cup before sitting down at the kitchen table. A solid hour later, his phone buzzed. Without glancing at the screen, he answered, figuring it was Cliff who was opening the store today.

“Eli?”

His mother’s voice came softly through the phone. He took a breath, fighting the tightness welling in his throat. He’d expected her to call any day now. He’d left her a message after his meeting with Garrett and explained his plans. He’d asked her to call as soon as she could, but he was guessing she’d hoped it would all go away. That’s how his mother approached life—with passive hope. Her passivity hadn’t led to anything good over the years. He figured her call this morning came after she was served the guardianship petition Garrett had filed.

“Hey Mom. What’s up?”

He heard her shaky breath before she spoke and shoved his sadness away. He had to put Ryan’s needs before his mother’s.

“Eli, I didn’t think you’d really go through with this. A man stopped by yesterday at work to serve the court papers. Ryan needs to be here. With me. How could you…?”

Eli cut her off. “Mom, you know exactly what it means for Ryan to stay with you. Four more years of Dad’s garbage. If you want a chance to have a relationship with Ryan, a real one, I’d suggest you let him stay with me, or he’s going to do just what I did and leave as soon as he can. Hell, he already did!”

His mother’s breath drew in sharply. He waited. He didn’t like what he had to say, but it was what it was.

“Eli, I’m sorry. More sorry than you know about how your father was when you were growing up, but he’s doing better now. He’s not drinking as much, he’s trying to find work. Don’t punish Ryan for the way your father was when you were here.”

All of these flimsy arguments were what Eli expected from his mother, so he was no longer surprised and no longer hopeful something would be different. He’d also had Garrett hire an investigator in Juneau just to cover his bases. He didn’t want to make assumptions about his father if he was wrong.

“Mom, I had my lawyer here hire an investigator. In less than an hour, he confirmed Dad hasn’t worked in over ten years, and his arrest record for petty bullshit has almost doubled since I moved away. He was arrested just last week for assault after another bar fight. All this guy did was a preliminary online search and this is what came up. I don’t even want to know what I’d find if I asked him to dig deeper. You can wish Dad would change as long as you want, but I won’t stand by and let him put Ryan through the hell he put me through. Ryan’s here with me, he’s safe and I’ll take care of him. You can either stand in the way, or accept it.”

There was a long silence. Eli eventually heard a soft sob and closed his eyes to keep ahold of himself. He hated, absolutely hated, that he had to do what he was doing. He hated that he knew it would hurt his mother, but he wasn’t going to sit by and force Ryan to return there.

“Okay, okay. I understand. I really do. I just wish it could be different,” his mother said, so softly Eli could barely hear her. That old guilt tightened like a knot in his chest. He could picture her worn, pained expression—the one he’d seen time and again after his father lashed out at him or her. But he couldn’t let that stop him from protecting Ryan.

“Mom, if you want help getting out of there, I’ll help you. All you have to do is ask.”

Years ago before he moved away, he’d thrown himself into trying to get his mother to leave his father behind. Although she’d somehow tolerated Eli forcing his father out of the home with the threat of reporting him, she’d managed it because she knew Eli was paying his way. He knew she couldn’t stomach just up and leaving his father behind. She’d been a victim so long, she didn’t know anything else, and she felt responsible for taking care of the very man who’d made her life a living hell. Eli meant it when he said he’d help if she asked, but he wouldn’t try to force his help on her again. It had taken him years to accept the reality that he couldn’t rescue her if she didn’t want to be rescued.

“I know you’ll help if I ask. Is Ryan awake?” she asked, abruptly shifting gears.

“Not yet. I can have him give you a call when he is.”

“That would be nice. Just tell him I love him, okay?”

“Of course, Mom.”

“Can I call to check in every week?”

Eli gritted his teeth. He knew she thought she had to ask permission because she’d spent most of her adult life connected to a man who she
always
had to be careful around. She couldn’t make any assumptions. It didn’t change the fact that Eli hated how her habit of constantly asking for permission applied to everyone. He’d never question her desire to call and check on her son, but she wouldn’t trust that, so he had to reassure her.

“You don’t have to ask, Mom. Call every day if you like.”

“Okay.” There was another long pause. Eli could feel his mother gathering herself. “I’m not sure how your father feels about this guardianship thing, so I don’t know what he’ll do. I’ll try to explain and maybe that will help.”

“Doesn’t matter to me how he feels. He doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning, so he can waste his time if he wants.”

“I know, I know. I’ll go now. Tell Ryan to call me at work, okay?”

“You got it.” Eli swallowed against the tightness in his throat and started to pull the phone away from his ear before he stopped. “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“It may not seem like it, but I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t care about you.”

He waited, his throat tight and an old familiar worry knotting in his chest.

“I know, Eli. I know it might be hard to believe sometimes, but I love you and Ryan more than I can say.”

Eli managed to say goodbye and listened to the line go quiet in his ear. He slowly set his phone down on the table, his breath coming out in a slow sigh. He didn’t doubt his mother loved him and Ryan, but to this day he didn’t think she understood how much damage his father had inflicted on him. In his years away, he’d come to terms with understanding that due to the emotional wringer his father had put her through over years and the constant threat of violence, she’d been shredded—emotionally and psychologically. Even if he didn’t blame her, he couldn’t stand by and allow Ryan to get hurt.

* * *

J
essa stood
in front of the bathroom mirror, fiddling with her hair. The brown locks were lightened with streaks of blonde throughout. At times, she added bright streaks of color here and there for the fun of it. With Eli about to arrive to pick her up, she was inexplicably obsessed with looking just right. Her hair tended to be a tousled mess most of the time. It still was, but she was pointlessly trying to straighten the locks. With a sigh, she grabbed her hairbrush and ran it through quickly before fluffing her hair with her fingers. To make matters worse, she wanted to look good, and Ryan would be with them all day. So, she somehow wanted to look good and as if she wasn’t trying…at all.