Steady Beat (9 page)

Pepper continued to sing, the anguished words of love lost, of dreams and hopes destroyed filling the room. The band had rehearsed here every time they were in New York, but never once had the lyrics to “Whispers in the Night”—a song Noah always suspected Nick had written for his one true love—resonated so potently. Pepper’s voice rose above the silence of the space, rich and dynamic. She attacked the notes with haunting power, drawing on the depths of her chest in the song’s darkest moments, soaring with clarity and silken intonation on the lighter.

“Jesus,” he breathed.

His cock pulsed. His balls rose up. He stared at Pepper, his gut tight.

Tight. His chest, his stomach, his groin. Tight and straining for the woman singing.

“I don’t believe I’m saying this after the way I behaved,” Samuel muttered at his side, “but she’s…”

Noah shot his friend a quick look, smiling at the shocked awe in Samuel’s voice. “That she is, mate. Want ice cream on that humble pie?”

Samuel didn’t answer.

Nor did anyone speak again until Pepper finished the song.

The last chorus left her, soft and raw and so ripe with grief and heartache and longing a lump filled Noah’s voice. He stared at her, mesmerized.

She was life and love and everything he wanted, and she’d come to him.

He was never going to let her go.

“And I want to beg but I can’t find the words,”
she sang, eyes closed,

“And I want to cry but I can’t find the tears

And all that’s left is the shadow of your heart and the ghost of your smile

And the whispers in the night.”

The last line rung out, raw with broken dreams. She held the moment, commanding the silence with the memory of her voice.

And then Jax roared with wild approval, slapping Noah on the back. Congratulating him on his find.

“Fuck, mate.” Levi shook his head, shaking Noah’s hand. “She made even
me
tremble.”

Noah couldn’t find his voice. Didn’t give a rat’s arse. There were no words. There was only one thing he wanted. One thing.

Pepper opened her eyes and looked at him from her place under the light. Pride and triumph shone in their blue depths. Pride, triumph and a question.

“Hell yeah,” Noah groaned, smiling at her.

He ran.

She met him halfway, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, her legs around his hips, her lips capturing his.

She kissed him. He kissed her in return. Their tongues melded, stroking against the other, their moans uninhibited. He stumbled backward, holding her tight to his body, knowing he’d never wanted another woman like he wanted her. When his heel tripped over god knows what and he landed on his arse, he didn’t stop kissing her. Just laughed into her mouth, loving the way she giggled in return.

He didn’t stop kissing her when Samuel told them to get a room. Didn’t even lift his head when Jax threatened to upload footage onto Twitter.

He didn’t care about any of that. Just kissing the woman who’d approached him in a bar and changed everything.

Everything.

It wasn’t until something hard nudged him in the shoulder—twice—he forced himself to tear his lips from hers.

Samuel stood over them both, the glare back on his face. “We need to talk.”

“Oh God,” Pepper burst out, her face igniting with red heat as she scrambled off Noah. “I didn’t mean to—”

He grabbed at her, halting her retreat. He didn’t want her going anywhere. He sure as hell didn’t want to talk with Samuel. “Fuck off, Strings. You can tell me you were wrong later.”

Samuel snorted. “Two words, Holden. Fleetwood. Mac.”

Noah let out a growl. He held onto Pepper tighter, even as she wriggled completely off his legs. Cool emptiness washed over him at her body’s absence. His chest ached. His cock…holy shit, his cock had never been harder. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Fleetwood Mac,” Pepper’s soft voice—so recently transporting them all to another level of sublime existence—sounded at his left. He swung his head to study her, glad to find her on her knees at his hip. She’d stayed close to him. He liked that.

What he didn’t like was the torment pulling at her eyebrows. “Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham.”

“Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham?” he echoed. Why did he have no clue what the hell was going on?

Jax let out a wry snort. “I think what Strings is trying to say, Drummer Boy—in the most obscure way possible—is he’s worried about you and Pepper being in a sexual relationship.”

Noah frowned at his fellow band members before returning his attention to Samuel. “So what you’re saying is Pepper and I can’t…get it on because of the supposed issues between Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham back in the seventies?”

Pepper rose to her feet. “I’m just going to…” She pointed vaguely toward the exit, her cheeks pink. “For a bit.”

Noah wanted to kiss away her blush. Before he finished climbing to his feet to stop her, she hurried away.

Swinging back to Samuel, he glared at the lead guitarist. “What the fuck is your problem? You just heard her sing and you’re still giving her grief? Jesus, Sam, will you—”

“Pepper has the most incredible voice I’ve ever heard,” Samuel cut him off, his expression serious. “I just don’t want to see what might be the most amazing thing to happen to us be messed up because you can’t keep it in your pants.”

“Screw you, Gibson,” Noah snarled.

“He’s got a point,” Levi commented.

“Yeah, easy for you to say, Levistan,” Noah shot back. “You’re living your happy-ever-after. I’ve just found mine and now Strings is telling me I can’t—”

“Just found it?” Samuel scowled. “You only just met her and you’re calling her your happy-ever-after?”

“He
was
holding her hand forever,” Jax pointed out with a grin.

Noah fixed Samuel with a flat stare. “I told you last night, she makes me feel calm. Focused.”

Beside Noah, Levi let out a slow whistle. “Fuck, Noah. Really? Then ignore Sam. Seriously.” He turned to Samuel. “We all know what Noah’s head is like. We also know how fucked up Heather left him. That woman never made Noah feel anything but an agitated mess. If Pepper Kerrigan makes him feel centred,
nothing
else matters. Nothing.” He clapped a hand on Noah’s shoulder. “Go get her, mate, that’s what I say. And if you and she pull a Stevie Nicks slash Lindsey Buckingham, we can always find a new drummer, right?”

The flippant joke—so rare from Levi—tore a laugh from Noah’s chest. His heart slammed hard. He didn’t know what he was more buzzed about—Levi vocalizing Noah’s attention issues with compassionate calm, Pepper blowing them all away with her singing, or that he was about to show her just how fucking amazing she was with his lips, tongue, hands and anything else on his body he could.

Turning to Samuel, he studied his best friend. “You gotta give me your blessing, mate. I need to know you’re not going to make life hell.”

Samuel huffed out a ragged sigh. “Go for it.” He held up a finger when Noah began to smile. “But if she breaks your heart, I don’t care how good she is at singing, nor how many Grammys we win because of her. She’s gone. Understand?”

“Watch it, Strings,” Jax muttered, tossing Noah a smirk over the scowling guitarist’s shoulder. “Your caring side is showing.”

The corners of Samuel’s mouth twitched. “Shut it, Liberace.” He gave Noah a steady look. “I’m happy for you, Noah,” he said, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “I’m just…”

Noah chuckled. “Cautious. I get it. Wouldn’t want you any other way. Now can we tell Pepper she was amazing so I can bloody well get on with kissing her again?”

Samuel let out a dry snort. “Yeah.” Looking behind Noah, he shouted, “Oi, Ms. Kerrigan? Can you come back in here please?”

As Pepper’s footfalls filled the silence, Samuel nodded at Noah. “She’s all yours, Holden,” he murmured. “C’mon guys.”

Noah turned to watch Pepper walk toward him. She cast Samuel, Jax and Levi a curious smile as they walked past her, heading in the opposite direction. She even ducked her head and brushed her hair over her ear as Jax told her she had the sexiest voice he’d ever heard.

Noah couldn’t tear his gaze from her.

Couldn’t wait until she was in his arms again.

She drew closer and stopped but a foot away.

It wasn’t until a loud bang echoed around the cavernous room he forced his stare from her face.

“I think they’ve gone,” she said, her breath uneven, choppy.

He grinned. “Good. Now I can finally do this.” He closed the distance between them, reaching for her.

And frowned when she scampered back a step, shaking her head.

“No,” she said, her gaze holding his. “I can’t. Samuel’s right. Whatever this thing is between us, it needs to slow down.”

Noah’s chest squeezed tight. “Why?”

A soft hiccup of a laugh fell from her. “Three reasons. One, I don’t know if I can handle women throwing themselves at you all the time. Two, as far as I know you’re still in a relationship with the swimsuit model.”

The pressure on Noah’s chest grew heavier. A prickling heat crawled over his scalp. “I’m too old for groupies, babe. I’m not interested in the crap that comes with them. And Heather left me three months ago. Took our dog and went off with our dog walker. Told me she’d had a gutful of my…inability to stay focused on anything but music.”

Pepper chewed on her bottom lip, her palms cupping her elbows. “Okay.”

He smiled, not sure what
okay
meant. “So this
thing
between us doesn’t have to worry about groupies
or
Heather because she’s gone.”

“So I’m your rebound girl?”

Noah paused. Was she? He’d never had one of those before. Didn’t know what a rebound girl felt like. When Heather had left him he’d thought his heart had been torn out. The trouble was his heart was beating pretty bloody fast for Pepper now. Would it do that if she was just a rebound fling? He didn’t know. He also didn’t know if he wanted to put himself and his frenzied heart out there so soon after Heather’s betrayal, but every time he looked at Pepper he felt at peace. He’d never felt that way with Heather. Nor had he ever wanted her the way he wanted Pepper. Was it just a sexual thing? He didn’t know that either, but something in his gut told him it wasn’t. And he had no bloody clue if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“I’m assuming by your silence that I am?” The disappointment in Pepper’s voice punched at Noah’s chest.

He shook his head. “No. You’re not. I’m not sure what you are, but you’re not my rebound girl. Now, reason three?”

Pepper let out a choppy breath, her gaze darting around the space behind him. Was she looking for reason number three up there? Or digesting what he’d just told her?

He hadn’t thought about Heather since he’d kissed Pepper in the bar. There was a significance to that he’d ponder later. Maybe. Now, he just wanted to know why Pepper was putting up barriers.

She returned his attention to his face, torment flickering in her brilliant blue eyes. “I don’t want to be the groupie that sings.”

Noah frowned. “The what?”

She sighed again, not looking at him. “I don’t want to join the band as your lover. If I work out—and you and the other guys haven’t had a conversation about that at all, so it’s still a really big
if
—maybe you and I could…” Her cheeks grew pink and she shook her head. “No. If I’m in the band, I’m in it as just a singer. Nothing else. It has to be that way. It’s better that way.”

“Better that way? For who? Bloody hell, I could almost come right now just looking at you, and you’re telling me we’re not allowed to even touch? Bullshit on that.” Noah dragged his hands through his hair. “And did you hear the way the guys reacted to your voice? Holy crap, babe, none of us have heard a voice like yours. I can’t wait to perform with you. To hear your voice with our music. I—”

“Need to think about what’s best for the band,” she cut him off.

“Screw the band. I want to make love to you, Pepper. Now. And if the band is getting in the road of that happening, they can find another drummer.”

“So I can be labeled the new Yoko Ono?” A tormented frown pulled at Pepper’s eyebrows. “Don’t be silly. You’ve known me for less than twenty-four hours.”

“So?”

“You need to be rational.”

Noah scowled, hating the connotation behind the word. Like what he was feeling for her wasn’t real. “I need to be inside you. Don’t deny that’s what you want either.”

Pepper let out a wobbly sigh. “I
do
want it. I can’t believe I’m saying it aloud, but I do. But I can’t…not yet…maybe one day…”

Noah leapt on the vague timeframe. “When?”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “Oh God, this was easier when all I wanted to do was be the band’s singer. Now I want…”

Noah’s chest tightened. “Me?”

She closed her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“You can have me. All of me. Right here, right now.”

Pepper opened her eyes and looked at him. “Damn it, why couldn’t I have met you differently?” A dry snort escaped her and she shook her head. “How ironic is that?” she muttered, sliding her glare around the room. “I was the one that instigated the meeting and now I’m complaining about it? Argh!”