Stealing Grace (14 page)

Once she was done setting out the plates that Pam had instructed her to, she turned to see Howard staring at her. More than that, his eyes were perusing her up and down. She soon realized Alex wasn’t in the room anymore. He must’ve gotten up to use the bathroom. She quickly turned to walk back to the kitchen but Howard stopped her.

“Hold on. Maybe Alex and I need to do a little swap-a-roo. I think you’d be more fitting with me. That little china doll in there is too breakable. What do you say?” He was still looking at her body, not her face.

She felt sick and dirty, didn’t know what to say. She knew Pam had heard him. He wasn’t exactly trying to be quiet about it.

“I’m fine where I am, thank you.”

Just as she turned she saw Alex coming out of the bathroom. Had he heard? He would be furious. He said nothing and his face was straight so he must not have.

She reached across the bar to retrieve the serving dishes Pam had filled to be placed on the table and starting taking them outside to the patio, straightening the knifes. Pam was handing her serving spoons now and taking her apron off. Elena waited to be seated, standing tightly to the side.

Pam sat in the chair closer to the kitchen door and Howard sat next to her. Elena reached for the chair next to Pam and realized Alex had brought her sweater out for her.

The roast was wonderful, very tender and seasoned perfectly. Howard, however didn’t think so or maybe just wanted to embarrass her, as he apologized to Alex for the roast being too salty and tough.

Alex, however, was always the gentleman.

“Seems fine to me, Howie, in fact I haven’t had a roast like this in years.” Alex smiled slightly at Pam.

She saw what he was doing but didn’t understand why he would be nice to her. She gave a little smile and looked back down at her plate.

“So your woman can’t cook either then.” Howard laughed hard. “This is what is wrong with the world today. No one is taught their place or the tools to do their job anymore!”

“Elena is a great cook, Howie. Now, tell me about the Lively Project downtown. It’s gonna be across from the mill right?” Alex changed the subject subtly and ‘Howie’ didn’t seem to notice.

The conversation wasn’t interesting. Pam didn’t speak a word, but Elena hadn’t expected her to and didn’t speak herself. Howard went on and on about this Lively Project and how great it was gonna be for the community. Elena never grasped what kind of project it actually was.

Elena felt someone caressing her knee underneath the table. Glancing at Alex, like it would be anyone else, she bit her lip and smiled, then quickly looked away trying to be inconspicuous. But she saw Pam glaring a hole through her with mouth open in horrified awe.

Elena instantly knew why she was so shocked. She made a mental note to explain later.

* * *

Not soon enough for Elena, Howard instructed for Pam to start clearing the table already. They gathered all the dishes, carried them through the door and passed them over the bar to the kitchen.

When Elena turned to grab the last glass, she noticed Howard’s eyes on her again, looking her up and down slow and meticulously. She pretended to not see and walked through the door to the bar but could still hear. Alex slapped Howard on the arm and said his name loudly. Howard shrugged and laughed.

“You had your pick. Keep your eyes on your own wife.” Alex sounded calm but she couldn’t see his face for the cabinets to be sure.

“I think I made a bad choice. She’s not anything like I thought she would be.”

“Will you be quiet, she’ll hear you.”

“Who cares! You gone soft, Smithe? I hope she does hear me. I’m not happy! She’s so...so...annoying, with her crying all day and waiting for me to tell her what to do like some...puppy!”

“Maybe that’s why she isn’t what you thought. I know it’s the way, to treat them like that but...maybe if you didn’t, she would be different to you. Ever think about that?”

Howard snorted in disgust.

“Bah! I’m sure she’ll loosen up soon enough. If not, I’ve got something for that.”

Elena could no longer listen or see as Pam turned on the dishwasher and they stood in the kitchen. They couldn’t hear them over the roar and assumed they couldn’t be heard either. Pam was still looking a little strangely at Elena. She decided their evening was about up and it was time to give her uniform advice, praying it would help somehow.

“Pam,” she began.

She didn’t tell her everything, she feared it might leak out and people would start to wonder about her and Alex’s relationship. She’d have to be more careful next time, but she told her how Alex was nice to her if she just did what she was supposed to do.

“Just try your best to be a good wife,” she explained the same as she had the rest of the girls she’d met over the past few weeks, and got the same doe eyed response.

And now it was time to leave. They hugged each other, Pam not wanting to let go, not wanting Elena to leave. Elena knew this part would not get easier; leaving the girls to fend for themselves, not knowing what would happen to them. Elena could see the tears forming in Pam’s eyes.

“Don’t let him see you cry. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Be strong, I’ll see you soon.”

Elena let go and walked to the door where Alex was holding it open for her. She didn’t know if she should thank them for the evening or not. She voted against it and walked silently to the truck trying to avoid the barking dog at her feet.
That dog wasn’t here before. Was it?

Alex climbed in and shut the door. Once the dome light faded he grabbed Elena around the waist and pulled her to the middle next to him.

“Let’s take a drive, want to?” Alex asked.

She nodded and he reversed down the driveway and into the highway, heading the opposite way of home.
Home
.
What a strange existence she was living…

Chapter 6

They sat on the tailgate and looked out at the lake. The moon was full and bright, illuminating the lake with threads of glowing yellow and white. Surprisingly there were no bugs out tonight, must’ve been the chill. She was not cold though, Alex’s sweater wrapped tight around her shoulders and his arm over top of that.

She was leaning into his chest, enjoying the outing but not sure why he would risk someone seeing them like this. Most wives take years to warm up to the husbands enough for open displays of affection.

“Elena,” his voice cut through the cool air, “I...you wanna take a walk with me?”

“Sure,” she said as he helped her down from the tailgate, not letting go.

He was still holding her waist with one arm, his forehead pressed to hers, eyes closed. She could feel his breath on her face. He paused for a few moments there.

Then she was being gently pulled away to a path.
What a sweet place.
She could hear ducks in the pond and they were surrounded by the chirping of the crickets. He was holding her hand as they walked rubbing shoulders.

She was completely unaware that something was bothering him, until he stopped, stepped back from her and tried to speak again, but no avail. He opened his mouth and closed it again, looking uncertain.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.

He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her. She took it and opened the blue envelope. It was a bus ticket.

“What’s this?” she said, turning the ticket over in her hands.

“I can’t do this anymore. I won’t hold you like a prisoner. Elena...I love you. I know that’s crazy after just a couple months but it’s true. I love you and that’s why I’ve got to let you go. I’ll drive you into the city and you can catch a bus from there. They won’t come look for you. I’ll tell them something. I’ll figure something out.” He was serious.

He was dead serious.

“What?! I can’t. I won’t. Why? What did I do?” Elena was so flustered and she could never get her words out like this.

“Elena, you didn’t do anything, that’s just it. I thought you were going to be some indifferent women who hated my guts and it would take all my power to try to keep you from escaping every day, but your so...so understanding and amazing. I used to lie awake on the couch, listening to you cry at night, muffled into the pillow, you thinking I couldn’t hear you. I would go in after you’d stop crying and watch you sleep, tossing and turning, your pillow soaking wet.” Elena knew what he was talking about. Those first few weeks she had cried uncontrollably every night. She looked down, knowing her face would only add to his guilt. “I wanted to comfort you somehow, send you away then but I was selfish. You don’t deserve this. I may not be able to escape this but, you can. You deserve a real life with a real husband. I can’t protect like I need to here. I had to be crazy for even thinking this was ok.”

“No, Alex. No!” She waited then she stepped toward him.

She wasn’t sure what to say. She should just take the ticket and hop in the truck.
No. You love him. Look what he is willing to do for you. He said himself they don’t take well to betrayal. Just tell him!
She grabbed his face with her palms.

“Alex, I love you.” His mouth opened slightly in shock. “I’ve wanted to tell you that for days. If you noticed, I haven’t cried in a long time. I’m not going anywhere. You have treated me better than anyone...my whole life, even my own family. You are not crazy. You saved me.” The tears came and she couldn’t stop them. He cast his eyes down. “I could be like Pam right now; scared every second. Is that what you wanted for me? If it wasn’t for you, I..” He looked up from the ground, her pulling his face up with her hands forcing him to look her in her eyes. “Alex, I have nowhere to go. I have nobody but you. You are a good man and I’m not leaving. Now you know, I have a choice and I’m making it. I choose to stay with you.” She stuck the bus ticket back into his shirt pocket.

He caressed her forearms, their foreheads leaned against each other, her hands still holding his face. He wiped a tear from her chin and brushed her lips with his thumb.

He kissed her, over and over. He didn’t try to argue. He wouldn’t fight. He wanted her to stay, but at what cost? He would worry about that another day. For tonight, they were content in each other arms and nothing else mattered.

* * *

Alex drove slowly on the ride home. She sat in the middle again, pressed up against his side in the cold truck. Alex’s arm was around her shoulder, her hand on his thigh.

Elena was so tired, having been emotionally drained, but she refused to fall asleep. Alex was quiet. She didn’t know what that meant. She was worried that he wouldn’t let it go. That he would find another day and another way for her to leave.

She couldn’t leave him, not now. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her measly existence. She imagined what the future would be like. Could they just live in the community forever together? Have kids? How would that work? Could they ever leave? She could continue to encourage the other wives. She felt some resolve to that.

When they arrived at the house, she had nearly passed out, not realizing it. Alex pulled her from the truck and lifted her in his arms. She didn’t fight him. It had been a long day and they have been out late at the lake. She never realized how muscular his arms were until they were engulfing her, holding all her weight.

She could smell his cologne. She breathed it deep. His brown hair was shaggy and short, just long enough to fall across his forehead. She looked up into his blue eyes as he laid her on the bed, then he pulled off her sandals and she crawled up the comforter to her pillow.

* * *

Alex had taken a shower and was drying off in the light from the window. He probably thought she was asleep by now. She was looking at him and realized she hadn’t seen his whole body before, on display. He was pretty perfect. His six foot three inch frame was toned and tan, from yard work, she thought.

He was taking his time, deep in thought. She saw a large curved scar on his shoulder that she hadn’t noticed before.
How had I not noticed that?

He threw the towel over the chair in the corner of the room and climbed into bed. He was startled to see her eyes open and looking at him, a little smile teasing the side of her lips. He chuckled, lay down and began making circles in the small of her back with his fingers, eyes closed, perfectly happy.

Elena couldn’t go to sleep now. She was trying, but not after seeing him, smelling him, feeling his breath on her neck. She decided it was her turn. He was so good at it all, natural. He was always gentle and patient with her.

She leaned over him and started kissing his neck, at the collar then moving up his jaw. She worked her way up to his lips then slowly placed herself over him, letting all her weight fall on him.

His hands went everywhere; her hair, her cheeks, her waist and back. She wasn’t quite sure what to do next. She nipped his earlobe and then kissed a trail back down his neck to his chest. His let several little noises out so she was on the right track.

* * *

Alex liked watching her sleep. She opened her eyes in the morning to see him looking at her, running his hand up and down her arm and side. She smiled at him, covering her mouth with the sheet.
Morning breath.

“Breakfast?” she managed to muffle.

“What was that about last night?” he asked, ignoring her obvious attempt to escape it.

“What? I tried,” she responded timidly, biting her lip.

“Try? That was more than trying, honey. I didn’t know a human being could be that sexy,” he said low.

“Shut up! Don’t make fun of me,” she said playfully.

“I’m not. You really don’t know how incredible you are, do you? I couldn’t believe my eyes. What am I gonna do with you? There’s no wonder Howard couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.”

She shook her head. Not believing a word of it. He was just trying to make her feel better about being silly, although, he had seemed to enjoy it.