Steel and Sorrow (46 page)

With Tobin and the army away, Lucia had all but stopped talking about the warleader and contented herself with living life. She and his wife, Hielle, spent a great deal of time together that allowed him to see his family more. Lucia had become so much a part of his family that he no longer felt like her bodyguard. He would never say as much to anyone out of fear of what others would think, but he loved her as a sister.

At times, those feelings also caused him an increased amount of grief when he spotted Lucia staring out into the night or going through Kaz’s old things. Even after all this time, she still held out hope that her husband would return to her one day. He tried to dissuade her thoughts once and swore never to do it again after he saw how much his words had pained her.

He wished he could ease her mind, but short of telling her the truth, he could think of no way to do so.

“Are you almost ready?” Hielle called out from behind their door.

Jober shook away his thoughts. “Nearly.”

“Well, hurry up. Lucia is waiting.”

“I’ll be right there.”

* * *

“Thank you again for coming with me. I know I had told you that I’d give you the day off, but I heard about this new shipment of fabric that arrived from Nubinya and I had to have it,” said Lucia. A brightness shined in her voice that lifted Jober’s spirits.

Jober carried an arm full of fabric rolls as they entered the palace. “It’s no trouble at all.”

She smiled and whispered. “Don’t tell Hielle, but I’m planning to make her a new gown.”

Jober’s eyes widened. “But it’s so expensive and you’ve already given us so much . . . .”

“There’s no such thing as giving too much to those you care about.”

They turned a corner and Jober slammed into a wall that staggered him. The wall stared at him with an incredulous look. Tobin’s eyes looked full of venom.

“Tobin! I heard you had returned last night, but didn’t expect to see you today.” Lucia threw her arms around the warrior’s thick neck and Jober watched Tobin’s anger melt away. Tobin seemed to forget about Jober as he pulled Lucia in tight and closed his eyes.

Anger gripped Jober and he took a step forward, ready to rip Lucia away, when she started laughing.

“Tobin, not so hard. I didn’t think you’d miss me so.”

They separated.

Tobin sighed. “It’s just good to see you. The last few months have been trying.”

The admission surprised Jober.

Lucia rested a hand on Tobin’s arm. “I heard rumors. I don’t presume to understand anything, but I’m sorry about everything, especially Odala.”

Tobin’s face darkened and he wrenched his arm away. Jober tensed.

Tobin scowled. “I bet you are. If I recall, you never did like her. I can imagine how happy you must be now.”

“No. I didn’t mean . . .” started Lucia.

Tobin brushed by her and pushed Jober out of his way and into a wall.

“No one ever means to do anything,” Tobin muttered under his breath.

Jober and Lucia stood in the hallway for a moment as Lucia watched Tobin disappear around a corner. She sighed and shook her head.

“Are you alright?” asked Jober.

“I’m not the one to be worried about. Come, let’s get this back to my room.”

* * *

“You’ve been talking to my Kifzo.”

Nareash had barely opened the door when Tobin’s first words hit him. The warrior stood with his back against the window, hands clasped behind his back in a pose that reminded Nareash of the father Tobin had sought approval from for so long. He closed the door.

“So you’ve been spying on me. When did that start?”

“When you gave me a reason to,” Tobin turned around. “Talking to my Kifzo. It has to do with these goals of yours, doesn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“You aren’t from the Red Mountain Clan, are you?”

“No. I’m not,” said Nareash, tired of the lies.

“Where are you from?” The steady calmness in Tobin’s voice unsettled Nareash.

“Does it matter?”

“Probably not. What’s one more lie atop the hundreds of others you’ve uttered.”

“When did you figure it out?” asked Nareash, feeling surprisingly guilty.

Tobin shrugged and turned back to the window. “I think I always suspected something wasn’t right about your story, but I was too blind by the friendship I thought we had. Your reaction to this whole campaign, conquering the Red Mountain Clan, and even killing Charu, the man you claimed was your enemy, confirmed my assumptions. Your mind has been elsewhere for too long.” He paused. “So what do you need with my army?”

“I need them to help me conquer the land of my birth. It’s far from Hesh.”

“Is that why you really needed your ships? To transport them.”

“Yes.”

Tobin chuckled. “Was our friendship anything other than a matter of convenience for you? Or was it all lies?”

“Much of what I said was true. I’ve tried to look out for your best interests when I could.”

“As long as they didn’t conflict with yours, you mean?”

Nareash said nothing.

“And if I told you that you couldn’t have my men? Would our friendship mean anything to you then?”

Nareash’s voice darkened. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve killed friends who stood in my way. But I don’t want it to come to that. Besides, why would you care? I don’t plan on taking your entire army. You’ll still have several thousand here and Walor is commanding the main body in the Red Mountain Clan territory. All of Hesh is basically yours.” He paused. “I still want to help you before I leave.”

“Why should I trust you to look at my mind after your admission?”

“What are your other options?”

Tobin blew out a deep breath. “I have none. The list of people I can rely on seems to dwindle every day.” His eyes looked at Nareash and quickly turned away. “If I can’t rely on even myself then I have no chance to hold onto what I have. I need to know what’s going on with me.” He moved from the window and sat in a nearby chair. “I’m ready.”

Nareash walked over and stood behind Tobin. He placed his hands on the warrior’s head. Since Nareash’s time with the scepter, he had used mind control sparingly, only pushing someone in the direction he needed them to go. He had used the method several times on Bazraki to make him appear more incompetent to Tobin and those around him. However, Nareash had never used mind control on Tobin.

I never needed to.

Nareash cleared his thoughts and slowly began examining Tobin’s brain, looking for signs of damage. He finished once and repeated the process, reaching the same conclusion. He ran through everything one more time, recalling every detail from the texts he read about the mind in the dark corners of Estul Island’s library.

Tobin’s brain worked as it should.

What does that mean? Maybe something happened to Tobin in his youth that changed him into the man I knew when I met him. That would explain why he couldn’t recall certain memories.

When Soyjid began toying with his mind, he must have removed the block holding the tendencies of his youth at bay.

Soyjid inadvertently fixed him! The lack of mercy, the brutality of enforcing his rule, the lust for blood and war, a desire to inflict punishment. That is who he really is. One Above, Tobin is his father’s son.

Nareash frowned.

“Is it that bad?” asked Tobin.

“Hmm?” Nareash stared dumbly at the wall, thinking on the implications of his discovery.

“You haven’t said a word or moved in some time. It must be worse than you thought?”

What do I say? Tell him the truth when he wants to believe he’s someone better than who he is now.

Perhaps that’s it. He’s acting this way because he thinks he should. I could try to reinstitute the block, but if I failed, it could make things worse.

Nareash showed one last act of kindness to the man he had once called his friend. He lied. “No. It wasn’t bad at all.”

“Wasn’t?”

“Yes, I already fixed it.”

Tobin wheeled around. “You did? But I didn’t feel a thing.”

Nareash shrugged. “I’m not a clumsy boy like Soyjid. You shouldn’t have any more visions haunting your dreams.”

Tobin’s shoulders sunk in relaxation. He let out a long deep breath. “Thank you.”

He looks more like his old self already.

Chapter 32

A cool breeze blew across the water and swept along the docks, carrying a light mist that sprayed Nareash’s face. He closed his eyes and took in a long slow breath.

This is it.

He looked back through the gate, which led into Juanoq.

After accomplishing his goals, he would send home any Kifzo wishing to return to Hesh. But, he would never set foot on the foreign land again. He had more important things to trouble himself with than revisiting a part of his life he intended to never happen.

First Thurum and Cadonia, then forge an alliance with the Ghal nation.

Once he strengthened the infrastructure of his lands, he would do the one thing that no one had even considered since the Quoron Empire fell centuries before—reenter the lands of the old empire and bring it under the rule of one man again.

Even if I can’t find the scepter, no one will be able to stop me.

Nareash knew that Amcaro’s death meant his chance of finding the scepter again had only improved.

If Aurnon the First couldn’t destroy it, then what could Elyse have done to it?

He turned his back to Juanoq.

Tobin had said his farewell to Nareash the night before. Despite being thankful for healing his mind, he became bitter once again after Nareash told him he intended on taking the Kifzo with him to Thurum. A flash of Tobin’s new anger came into his eyes, but he relented if for nothing else out of debt, thinking the High Mage had healed him.

Tobin’s attitude and his absence among the curious group of onlookers crowding the docks made Nareash’s decision never to return much easier.

Nareash walked over to a group of captains arguing among themselves on the docks. “What’s wrong?”

Faces turned sour looks on him that spoke of how little they wanted to embark on a trip into the unknown. Nareash saw they had crowded around a map, one of the copies Mizak made for each ship.

One of the captains spoke. “We were just discussing the risks.”

“What about them?”

“We don’t like them. We’re traveling to a place that none of us has ever seen and may not exist for all we know. And we’re following a route that hasn’t been mapped in hundreds of years. Who knows what could have changed.” He pointed to the section of the ocean that showed the area affected by an abnormal amount of storm activity and reefs. “We may not survive this journey.”

“All trips have risks. You have orders from Tobin to comply with my command.”

“These risks are too much. I’m not going anywhere until we speak with our warleader in person and voice our concerns.” The captain rolled up his copy of the map and held it out to Nareash.

Nareash narrowed his eyes on the parchment, but did not accept it.
I don’t have time for this.
“And you speak the concerns of everyone?” he asked, meeting each man’s stare.

“I do.”

Nareash snatched the map from the captain with one hand and clasped his arm with the other. The captain began to writhe in pain as smoke leaked from his orifices. A foul smell filled the air as the captain voided his bowels. Men heaved, as even the wind could not sweep away the stench of burning hair and searing human flesh. Nareash let go of the captain and he fell to the dock.

He wiped his hand on one of the men standing next to him who flinched at the touch. He cleared his throat. “Does he still speak for everyone?”

Silently the group shook their head. One man had the nerve to ask the question they all wanted to know. “What did you do to him?”

“Heated his blood and boiled him from the inside out,” said Nareash in a nonchalant manner. He turned to a nearby captain. “See that this man’s first mate receives the map. Let him know that he’s been promoted.”

The man nodded.

“I’ll be in my quarters if anyone needs me.”

The group cleared a path for him.

* * *

A cool gust of wind swirled around Tobin as he stood on the roof of the palace. He wore nothing above the waist, choosing to feel every sensation of the air while trying to clear his mind. He watched his ships and the best of his army sail out to sea. It was never said, but he knew that he’d never see Nachun again and likely most of those leaving with the shaman.

Tobin turned away as the last white sail crawled across the horizon and disappeared in the bright sunlight. He climbed down from the roof and went to his room where he finished dressing into his light armor of boiled leather.

Tobin left the palace a short while later and made his way through the city, a guard in tow. Everywhere he went people cheered and shouted his name, thrilled that he had brought success and pride to the Heshan clan that had always been looked down upon before Bazraki began his conquest. Yet, all he could think about were the horrible atrocities he had committed. Nachun may have healed his mind, but he could not take away his memories.

Would they still cheer my name if they knew the things I had done?

He knew the answer.

Of course they would. They cheered for Kaz and they cheered for Father too. They only care that I win.

He paid little attention to them during the rest of his walk to the army’s training ground.

Tobin made an appearance and watched over the training exercises led by others he put in charge of the younger warriors. He should have been pleased with their progress and the changes he had instituted since taking over for Kaz, but his mind was still elsewhere.

Can I still be the person I want to be?

* * *

A week at sea in relatively calm waters had eased the worries of many. However, the sun failed to reveal itself on the eighth morning. Dark rainclouds rolled in from the east. Lightning flashed against a horizon as black as midnight, foretelling that the storm would not pass quickly.