Steel My Heart (Motorcycle Club Romance) (Sons of Steel Motorcycle Club Book 1) (17 page)

Chapter 31

Emmy

I wasn't going to get angry.  I wasn't going to make a scene in the middle of a diner, no matter how badly I wanted to shriek and rage at J.  No, I wasn't going to lose my cool, because if I let down my guard for one second then the tears would start to flow and never stop.

I said I wanted to lie down, the lie springing to my lips to convince me of its truth.  Really I didn't want to look at him anymore.  Because if I had to look in his face, I would start to believe the truth of what he was saying.  That running away was not the answer.  That I couldn't just disappear into a new life with him.  That he wasn't my savior, no matter how much I now knew I loved him.

I loved him and that was fucking terrifying.  When I loved someone, bad things happened.  If I could just get back to the room and pull the covers over my head.  If I could just hide in a ball for a while, blanking out the world and pushing the truth of his words from my head, then maybe I could emerge unscathed.

And I could forget that I loved him more than he apparently loved me.

It was hard not to cling to him on the ride back to the Carriage Inn.  My body wanted to be close to him.  My body responded treacherously to the heat that rose from his back and the smell of his riding leathers.  The rumble of the bike soothed me, and the noise drowned out the clanging thoughts in my head that swirled around, delighting in telling me how stupid I was to fall in love so quickly. 

I felt myself carried away into blankness, the familiar retreat I had found when I was little. 

Here in the private space in my head, the stinging shouts of my parents could not touch me.  The constant terror of Robert didn't bother me.  I could float along as weightless as a feather in the breeze. I closed my eyes as the wind rushed in the space between J. and me, and didn't open them until the bike slowed to turn into the parking lot.

I felt, rather than heard J.'s shout.

I opened my eyes and peered at the parked cars like I was seeing them underwater.  The rolling flashes of red and blue confused me, as did the shouts and commands to stop and get on the ground.  J. threw his hands up in the air and was dragged from the bike before he could put down the kickstand.  I felt myself falling with the bike, my feet wedged unmoving on the passenger pegs. 

Before I landed I was caught up in a pair of strong arms.  I reached out for J. wondering how he had caught me when he was lying face down in the parking lot.  A cop had his knee wedged into J.'s back, and I saw J. grimace in pain when his arms were wrenched back into the handcuffs.  I opened my mouth to shout, but my scream was muffled by a huge hand that smelled terrifyingly familiar.

But it wasn't until I heard his voice in my ear that I knew all was lost.  A soothing voice, murmuring assurances that turned my blood to ice.  "It's all over, Emilia.  I'm here.  I've got you."

Robert held me close to him, cradled in his arms like the hero of the movie and no one noticed how tightly he had to hold me to keep me down.

"Why?" I whispered, watching in horror as the police cruiser sped out of the parking lot.  Though it was dark I could still see J.'s head silhouetted in the back seat.  It was bowed and broken, hanging heavily over his chest in a way that broke my heart open wider than anything I had ever seen.

"It's okay officer." Robert's voice was all patrician jocularity.  The officer handed him a blanket that he wrapped around my shoulders.  It felt like a leaden weight holding me down.  "She's just in shock from her ordeal."

The cruiser disappeared around a bend.  J. was gone, taken from me in a flash of red and blue. 

"When she's feeling better, Mr. Whitestone, I'm going to need her to come down to the precinct to give a statement."  The officer's voice was warning.  I could tell Robert didn't like what he was hearing by the way he squeezed my arm tighter.  "We can only hold him for so long until charges are pressed."

"My fiancée has just been through a horrible ordeal," Robert snapped.  I listened dully to the story he spun.  "Kidnapped and held by a dangerous felon who should never have been released from prison in the first place?  I hold the police force responsible for what has happened here.  I know my father is horrified too."

As the words echoed nonsensically through my head, the officer stood by for a moment, looking as if he wanted to say something.  But then he just walked away.  "Statement in twenty-four hours," he called over his shoulder, leaving me alone in Robert's arms.

"Let's go home now, Emilia," he murmured, smoothing my hair back from my forehead. 

His face was cut in half by the stark shadows of streetlights.  Half dark and half light.  His one visible eye glittered at me and I saw triumph in his gaze.  He smoothed my hair again, and my stomach lurched.  I swallowed hard to keep the bile down.  "How did you find me?"

He grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet.  "You're stupider than I ever imagined," he hissed, keeping his voice low for the benefit of the still lingering police officers.  "Enough of this.  Get in the car."

"No."

"Emilia," his voice was a warning.  "Get in the car."  His fingers dug painfully into my skin, bringing tears to my eyes.

"Everything okay, Mr. Whitestone?" A female officer came towards us, her boots crunching on the gravel.  She bent and picked up the blanket from where it lay in a heap on the ground.  "Here, Emilia," she said, handing it to me.  "You're probably in shock.  Best to keep warm."

Her voice was kind.  Robert's smile stretched wide, and he stroked my arm fondly.  The darkness hid the marks where his nails had pierced my skin. 

"You're a lucky woman," she continued, looking at Robert.  "He wouldn't give up on finding you.  Night and day he was searching.  Luckily we had that breakthrough."

"Breakthrough?" The word fell out of my lips but I didn't recognize my own voice.

"The letter mailed by the accused.  He was stupid enough to send it from his hideout."

"He mailed a letter?"

"He made you write it, didn't he Emilia?  Saying you had left?  But I knew you would never leave me.  And Officer Wilkens said that lowlife had been hanging around for a week now.  Stalking you."  Robert's voice was stern, prompting me on the proper script to recite.

The letter.  My breakup letter.  J. had sent it out for me in the club's mail.  And it had brought Robert right to their doorstep.

"You're a very lucky woman," the officer repeated.  I shivered at the fawning note in her voice.

"Let's go home, Emilia."  Robert tugged on my arm, dragging me to the car he rarely ever drove.  The officer watched us, and her eyes softened at the fierce display of the protective fiancé rescuing his helpless bride-to-be from the clutches of a ruthless biker.  As he pushed me into the passenger seat, I realized it was all over.  There was no use fighting.

He had won.

Chapter 32

Emmy

"..stupid fat whore, did you get enough of that nigger's cock or have you turned into a complete slut?  I knew you were a dumb bitch, but this kind of stupidity is a new level, even for someone like you...."

Robert's insults washed over me, and every nasty word echoed a thousand times in the hollow space inside of me.  He alternated between flinging insults at me and then swearing at the other drivers on the highway.  His rage was as dangerous and capricious as a tornado.

"...fucking jackass, press the gas pedal and then the car will go..."

The drive back to Philadelphia was plagued by traffic.  I don't know why Robert found this surprising.  Probably because he so rarely drove himself.  If the driver got stuck in a traffic jam, Robert could just lean back and close his eyes, or maybe answer some emails on his endlessly pinging Blackberry. To actually have to sit and stare at the brake lights of the car in front of him was an experience he wasn't used too.

And it was making him even angrier than he already was.  "...who the fuck you think you are, anyway.  Piece of trailer trash from Pennsyltucky.  You're nothing without me and you know it....” Spittle flew from his mouth and the vein at his temple throbbed an angry warning.

I was in serious trouble.

I wedged myself against the passenger door.  But I was not out of his arms' reach.  Try as I might, I could not shrink myself down to nothing.  I could only hope that the traffic would clear soon so he would have to pay attention to the road again.

"...moving up the wedding date so you'll never pull a stunt like this again."

I looked at my ring finger.  He hadn't noticed it was gone yet.  The bare space on my hand gave me the tiniest shred of pride.  He didn't own me anymore.

"...need sleep and then we have to get back up here.  You will tell them he kidnapped you from our apartment.  Wilkens will corroborate.  I already have a lawyer. If you don't cooperate, so help me god Emilia...."

I thought of J. alone in a cell, with no one behind him and the whole weight of the Whitestone fortune against him. They wanted him out of the way.  Robert wanted me back in his clutches and would stop at nothing to get it.

"...violent felon like that away for good.  Get him off the streets and back behind bars where an animal like that belongs...."

I looked at my finger again.  In all his plotting, Robert had overlooked one tiny detail.  His plan centered on one assumption.  That I wouldn't fight back.

I clenched my fists and the ghost of pain in my knuckles felt like strength.

If I wasn't going to fight for myself, then I would fight for J.

"You're lying."

Robert turned to me in shock. I had never contradicted him before. His mouth hung open wide for a moment before he snapped it shut into an evil smile.

"I'm afraid not, Emilia. Your secret lover spent six years in the slammer for armed robbery and assault. He's a lowlife animal." Robert chuckled. "Only you could be so blindingly stupid."

My shock quickly diminished and I made my decision.  J.'s past meant nothing compared to the man he was now.  Robert meant to hurt me with this new information but there was nothing left to hurt. For him to hurt me, I needed to have feelings for him. I needed to care what he thought.  He assumed I still did.

And that was his second mistake.

We turned into the garage below his building in silence. Robert seemed satisfied by my lack of reply. He took my speechlessness for fear. He thought he had me cowed.

My heart thumped wildly as he opened the passenger door. He wouldn't do anything in the parking garage. There were cameras here. He wouldn't hurt me until we were safely back in the penthouse.

Each step I took brought me closer to the door.

He crossed the lobby so quickly I had to trot to keep up. His fingers were sunk deep in my flesh.  It was happening fast. Too fast.

"Welcome back Miss Hawthorne! Glad to see you are well!"

"She is, Officer Wilkens, and we have you to thank for it." Robert paused in front of the desk, holding me close. "We owe you a huge debt of gratitude, don't we Emilia?"

Officer Wilkens raised his eyebrows at me expectantly. My stomach churned in fear.  He had been spying on me, for how long I didn't know.  Because of him, J. was sitting in a jail cell, falsely accused. The rage that had been simmering inside of me reached a boiling point.

When I didn't answer right away, Robert stepped back. "Emilia," he prompted, gesturing towards the expectant Wilkens.

"No."

Officer Wilkens only looked at me quizzically.  But I heard the sharp sound of Robert's shock.  And that was what I was looking for.

"Fuck you, you evil piece of shit."  The words tumbled from my mouth as I spoke my truth.  "You've hurt me for the last fucking time.  Do you hear me?"

Robert quickly recovered from his shock and chuckled mildly.  "Emilia, you're talking nonsense.  We need to get you to bed."

"I said no!" I flung my arm back, out of his grasp.

"Emilia!" He lunged forward.

That was the chance I needed. With my feet planted firmly, I twisted back with my hips, then let my fist fly through the air with the full force of my strength. I didn't stop when my fist crashed into Robert's jaw. I punched through his face in a mighty arc, snapping his head to the side and sending him reeling backwards to land on the floor.

"We're through.  Don't ever come near me again!"

I was out of the door before he could recover. I never looked back as I sprinted away from him as fast as my legs could carry me.

Chapter 33

Emmy

The dorms for the U of Arts were only a few blocks away.  I hoped beyond hope that Sammie was still where I remembered her.  Where our room used to be.  I hoped she hadn't moved out and gone home.  It was hard to believe that our lunch was only a week ago.

I burst into the lobby of the dorm and jammed my fingers into the call button. The aging system squawked to life and I heard a tinny but familiar voice.  "Who the fuck...?"

"Sammie, It's Emmy."

"Emmy?"  I heard fumbling staticky sounds that masked her next outburst.  "...doing here?"

"I need help, Sam."

"Of course." I heard the relief in her voice and knew she knew exactly what had happened.  She held the buzzer down so long I was in the lobby before it stopped.

It was surreal bursting into my old room.  She was still on the same side, the walls still decorated with her artwork and the huge, signed Tegan and Sara poster that was her pride and joy.  But my side was different.  Of course she had a new roommate, why would I think it was different?  The world had gone on without me while I rotted in the penthouse. 

"You left him," she stated flatly when I stepped into the room.  Her face was deadly serious.

I inhaled deeply, trying to calm my pounding heart.  "I did."

She crushed me to her chest, but there was no triumph in her eyes.  My best friend knew me too well.  "What do you need?"

"I don't have much time.  He's trying to get me back, Sammie.  And he's using the police to help him."

She stepped back from me and pressed her bright-red lips together in a thin line.  "Tell me what I need to know."

"I met another man, Sammie.  And he's wonderful."  Tears flooded my eyes.  I tried to hide the hitch in my voice.  "We were up that bed and breakfast outside of New Hope, the one you and I stayed at over Christmas break last year, remember?  So I wouldn't have to go home to my family?"

She nodded, the tears filling her eyes at the memory. 

"But Robert tracked me down.  He was using the lobby guard to spy on me, Sammie.  The guard is going to say that J. was stalking me and kidnapped me from the penthouse."

"...the fuck?"

"Robert's money," I spat.  "He can do anything because his last name is Whitestone."

Her eyes flashed.  "No he fucking can't."

"He can," my voice was rising higher.  "He can unless I fight back.  J. is in jail right now, up there in Bucks County.  They're holding him for my statement.  Robert was going to make me say I was kidnapped.  If he gets to him before I do, I don't know what he will do.  The lobby guard is an ex-cop, they'll believe him over J.  I need to get up there and free him, get him out of there, before Robert presses false charges."

"Do you need a ride?"  She was already grabbing her keys. 

I thought for a minute.  She was in my corner.  I had someone to fight for me, but I needed someone for J. too.  "I do.  But not up there right away."

"Where to then?"  She had her purse on her shoulder. 

I looked at my best friend, the one I had neglected for months, as she stood in our old dorm room with her hand poised on the doorknob, ready to ride off into the night to help me.  The tears that had been threatening now finally spilled over and I dissolved into helpless sobs.

Sammie grabbed me again and I sank into her gratefully.  My tears flooded the back of her bright purple sweatshirt as she stroked my hair and murmured into my ear.  "Emmy, Emmy, Emmy," she whispered, rocking me in a rhythm with her words.  "I'm so glad you're back Emmy.  Everything is going to be all right."

I took a breath.  "Okay," I answered, hoping the lie would make me believe myself.  Believe her.

"So where to?" she prompted, handing me a tissue.

I dabbed at my eyes and exhaled again.  "I need to go talk to a biker gang."