Step F*#k: Part Three (A Stepbrother series Book 3) (4 page)

Mom and Jess and Zack are laughing about something, and Zack is trying to teach Jessica how to cast a fishing line, which is pretty much the same as trying to teach a seagull how to pedal and steer a bicycle. I lift the bottom of my bathing suit an inch to check my tan line. My skin smells sweet like coconut from the suntan lotion I’ve slathered on, but I’m still getting a tan. I lay there on my back under the hot sun and I let myself pretend that Jai actually did come with us, and he is lying down next to me, slipping his hand into my bathing suit, whispering how sexy I am, how much he wants to fuck me.
 

When we get back to the house and the prospect of seeing him seems very likely, I know that I can’t let him know that I was thinking about him. Because if I do, it’s never going to stop. It’s just going to be this endless cycle of us fucking, then saying we’ll stop, then fucking some more.
 

He’s going to be your stepbrother
, I tell myself.
You’re going to be family
.
 

Mom and Jess linger down by the lake with Zack, but I go up to the house. The skin of my face feels tight and hot, even though I’m not in the sun anymore. I probably have a rather splendid sunburn. I go into the kitchen to get some ice water. Perhaps I should take a shower, swiftly followed by a nap. I really don’t feel like going to the spa.
 

“Here you are.”

Jai’s voice startles me enough that I jump, and a little tsunami of water sloshes over the side of the glass and onto the counter. “Jesus! Is it really necessary for you to be
sneaking up
on people like that?”
“I’m sorry—that really wasn’t my intention. Looks like you got some sun. How was your boat outing?”
“Sunny.”

He smiles. “I love when you’re cheeky with me.”

“I’m not trying to be cheeky.”
 

“I got you something,” he says, handing me a gorgeously wrapped package, shiny silver paper with a bright purple satin ribbon, the package itself about the length of a shoe box but narrower by half. “I myself had a rather relaxing afternoon and ended up just poking into a few shops, and when I saw this, I couldn’t
not
get it for you.” He’s trying not to smile, or not to smile any wider than he already is.
 

“Thank you,” I say, trying not to sound too suspicious. It’s got a bit of heft to it, whatever it is, and I slowly pull the ribbon off, then remove the wrapping. One half of the box is clear plastic, the other cardboard. It takes me a second to register just what it is. It’s a sausage. He got me food. But then I look at it more closely. It’s three quarters of a sausage connected to a white plastic base, about two or three inches long. The box’s label reads:
The Naughty Gourmet. Sausage Vibe for the Serious Food Fetishizer
.
 

“What the hell!” I say, and throw the box at him. It bounces off his chest but he manages to catch it before it falls to the ground.
 

“Like I said, I saw this and couldn’t help but think of you,” he says. “You know, after that enlightening breakfast chat the other morning. It’s quite realistic looking, wouldn’t you say? Think it smells like a sausage, too?”
“You’re disgusting. I don’t have a food fetish.”

“I know, but, if I remember correctly, you do like vibrators, do you not? Isn’t that something you told me when we first met?”
“I’m honestly trying to forget that the two of us ever met.”

“Did you happen to bring that vibrator with you?”
“That’s none of your business.”

“Well, I figured you didn’t. And, if you’re really serious about us not hooking up anymore, then . . . I’m prepared to respect that, I really am. I might not agree with it, but I’ll respect it. But despite us not having sex—”

“Will you keep your voice down?” I hiss. “Anyone could hear you.”

“They’re all outside. Aren’t you ladies all getting ready to go to the spa soon? Maybe you could bring this.”
 

“Just stop talking to me. I don’t want your presents. I don’t want anything from you, okay? Well, the only thing I want from you is for you to leave me alone—”

“Can’t do that, I’m afraid. It would be a huge letdown to our parents, since their main goal for this whole experience is for us to get
closer
as a family.”

“I think the whole thing is moronic. I get it—wanting to make this nice little blended family, but guess what? It’s not like we’re little kids. We’re adults. Once this wedding is over, we’re all going to go back to our separate lives. Maybe we’ll get together during the holidays at the most. So this whole idea of having this enforced family time seems stupid.” I fold my arms across my chest.
 

Jai regards me, the look on his face softening to one of tenderness, reminding me yet again that he really is one of the most handsome human beings I’ve ever seen. “Is that what this is all about?” he says. “You don’t want to really let yourself get involved because you think we’re all just going to fly back to our other lives once this is over?”
I can’t tell if he’s mocking me or not.
Is
that what this is about? No, not really, I decide after a moment. What this is really about is the man who is about to be my stepbrother just bought me a vibrator in the shape of a sausage.
 

“I’m done with this conversation,” I say. Right then, my mother comes inside, and Jai smoothly slides the hand holding the vibrator behind his back.
 

“Oh, Emma, here you are,” Mom says. She looks at Jai. “Oh, I’m glad you’re in here, too. Your dad’s looking for you. He’s actually going to take the boat back out—one of your old neighbors just showed up and he’s got a cooler of beer. Josh Tucker, I think?”
Jai smiles. “Ah, Josh. Yeah, he lives on the other side of the lake. He’s good company. If he’s going out on the boat, I suppose I can join them for a little bit.” He looks at me and grins. “Have a smashing time at the spa. I almost wish I was going.”

“You’re more than welcome to,” Mom says.
 

“No, no. Maybe next time. I was just telling Emma that I hope she enjoys herself and comes back nice and relaxed. She seems a bit tense, doesn’t she?”
“You know, she does.”
 

My shoulders inch closer to my ears. I grit my teeth and try to force them down.
 

Jai makes a graceful exit, again wishing us a luxurious spa experience, and then he’s gone, thankfully taking that awful vibrator with him.
 

Mom steps right up to me, brushes something from the sleeve of my t-shirt. “Even he can see that you’re stressed,” she murmurs. “I know there’s a lot going on, sweetie, but I really wanted this to be a good time for everyone. I don’t want this to be a stressful wedding. Are you ready to go? I think a mani pedi and a massage, and maybe a nice mud wrap are just what you need.”

I can feel a headache coming on, and the idea of a stranger touching my hands, my feet, pushing down my cuticles, rubbing lotions on me and then encasing me in mud is about the last thing I want to do.
 

“Mom,” I say. “I’m just going to go lie down. I’m getting a headache. I think I got too much sun today.”

“Oh, sweetie.” She touches my forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”

“I didn’t say a fever. I’m not sick; I’m just . . . You’re right. There is a lot going on, and I know you want everything to be peaceful and harmonious, and I appreciate that, I really do. And I
am
having a good time, but I think I just need to have a little quiet time right now, maybe take a nap. If I take a nap, I’ll probably wake up feeling a lot better.”

“Are you sure? We could reschedule the spa.”

“I doubt it. I think places like those want at least twenty-four hours notice. Why don’t you and Jess go and then maybe we can go another time, if I feel up for it.”

I can see her vacillating between guilt tripping me into going and letting me just stay here. She sighs.
 

“All right, then. You stay here. Get some rest. Everyone else will be out, so the house will be nice and quiet. You’ll be able to have a little alone time. And of course we’ll go back to the spa, if you want to go.”
 

“Thanks, Mom.”

I hurry up to my bedroom before she has a chance to change her mind or before I run into Jai again. I go over to the window, which overlooks the backyard. In the distance, I can see Zack down by the dock, with a couple of his buddies. Jai’s there, too. He turns, looking back toward the house, and I jump back, even though I highly doubt he’ll be able to see me.
 

I go and lie down. I do feel tired, but sleep doesn’t seem like a possibility at the moment. I reach to the bedside table and get my phone. I call Megan.

“Hey!” she says. “How’s it going?”

“It’s all right. I’m in bed right now.”

“With Jai?”
“No! Not with Jai. I should be out with my mom and my sister at the spa, but I’m in bed. I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed, I think.”

“Because of the wedding?” Her tone is sympathetic.

“Yes. And no.”
 

“It’s because of Jai, isn’t. Have you guys . . . have you hooked up anymore?”
I pause. Consider lying. Megan would be able to hear that in an instant, though, so instead I tell her the truth.
 

“I just don’t know what to do,” I say. “And, get this: he bought me a sausage vibrator.”

“Excuse me?”
“He bought me a vibrator, and it looks like a sausage. I shit you not.”

She bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, that’s fucking hilarious. Take a picture of it and send it to me. Have you used it yet?”

“No! Are you kidding me? I’m not going to use it. I’m not even remotely turned on by that sort of thing. And I can’t take a picture of it, because I gave it back to him.”

“Aw, really? Why? You should get it back. I’m sure he’ll give it back to you.”

“I’m
not
going to use that. I don’t have some weird food fetish.”
 

“Yeah, but it’s not like it’s a
real
sausage. A vibrator’s a vibrator, right? So long as it gets you off, who cares what it looks like.”

“And do you apply that same logic to the men you date?”
“No. Well, sometimes, depending on how many drinks I’ve had. Emma, if he bought you a vibrator, you should use it. I assume you left yours here?”
“Yes. I still haven’t gotten new batteries for it.”

She giggles. “That’s pretty funny, if you think about it. Honestly, that’s the kind of man you want to hang onto—I don’t know many guys who would go and buy a
sausage
vibrator.”

“I know plenty.”

“I don’t mean gay ones. You should use it.”

“I’m going to take a nap after I get off the phone with you.”

“What better segue into sleep than an orgasm.”

“Yes, yes, I know that’s like your life philosophy, but not everyone shares that view.”

Megan clears her throat. “Listen, Emma. This is what you’re going to do. You’re going to get off the phone with me and take that nap. As you drift off to sleep, you’re going to tell yourself that you need to stop feeling guilty about having amazing sex with one of the most gorgeous men to grace the face of the planet. Repeat it over and over, like a mantra if you need to. If the sex you’re having is really as good as you’re making it sound—and I actually bet it’s probably even better—then that is not something to be taken for granted. This is coming from someone who has a lot of experience with this sort of thing, so, please, just trust me. Think of it like your reward for all the bullshit you had to put up with when you were with Tom.”

Tom
. He seems like a long and distant memory, the months that I spent wanting him back, wishing that things had worked out differently, those seem like someone else’s experiences, someone else’s emotions.
 

“So you’re telling me,” I say, “that you would be totally fine sleeping with your stepbrother?”
“I’m telling you that incredible sex with a beautiful man is not something that comes along all the time.”

“But it’s not like he’s the
only
good-looking guy there is out there. Surely there are others. Guys who wouldn’t be my stepbrother.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Megan says. “I didn’t realize you had a surplus of gorgeous men who wanted to sleep with you. If that’s the case, care to share? I’m going through a serious dry spell here.”

“The only thing I have to share is this vibrator, which, did I mention? Looks like a fucking sausage.”

Megan sighs. “I wouldn’t talk shit about it until you’ve tried it,” she says. “And you know what? If you really don’t want it, then, hell yes I’ll take it off your hands. I don’t care what it looks like.”

 
“I’d be totally fine giving it to you, except I no longer have it. Who knows what he’s going to do with it? I doubt those things are returnable.”

“He’s probably going to give it to some other chick,” Megan says. “That’s another thing, Emma. You’re kind of playing a dangerous game here. If you keep denying him, he’s going to lose interest and find someone else. It’s not going to be that difficult for someone like him. And I know you might
think
that’s what you want, but have you actually,
really
thought about it?”
“What? Him not trying to get into my pants every time we’re in the same room together?”

“No—what it’s going to be like to see him with another girl. Are you going to be able to handle that? It’s not like once the wedding is over you’re never going to see him again. Yeah, he might be going back to London and you might not see him as often, but what about holidays? Family vacations?”

“I think this is the first and last family vacation we all take. And do you hear what you’re saying?
He’s going back to London
. I’m not going to London. So even if I were to just keep sleeping with him and not care that we’re going to be stepsiblings—even if that wasn’t a factor at all—he lives thousands of miles away! I’m not going to relocate, and I highly doubt he is. So it’s just better this way.”

“But maybe you could. You don’t even want to be an architect. You could go to London. Travel internationally. Get lots of life experience. Go to all those world famous museums, focus on your own art.”