Stepbrother Broken (The Hawthorne Brothers Book 2) (13 page)

I
bring my wine glass to my lips, taking a huge swig as time speeds back up to
the present. My heart pounds wildly in my ears, obscuring the banter that flies
in the air between the three brothers. I watch, paralyzed, as Luke gages my
reaction. His expression goes from shocked, to curious, to something
approaching happy surprise. Holy shit
…
is he going to tell all of our siblings
that we know each other? He can
’
t. They
can
’
t
know. I can practically feel the panic light up my
body like a neon sign, and it
’
s not lost on Luke either. I watch
as he realizes that I
’
m not going to acknowledge him.
Watch as disappointment, then indifference take hold of his features. He tears
his eyes away from me, playing it cool as ever. Unless he isn
’
t playing at all
—
maybe he couldn
’
t care less about finding me here. Me, the daughter of
the woman who
’
s been living with his Dad, and
…
And
…

I
watch as if from outside my own body as Luke shoots me a casual smile and
strides right past me toward the house.
Clutching onto my wine glass like a life preserver, I hurry to avert my eyes,
totally at a loss. What
’
s the proper etiquette for the
moment you figure out that the guy you want to bone is related to your Mom
’
s fuck buddy?

Dear
god. I
’
m going to need a refill before I
even
begin
to deal with this one.

Chapter Six

Well,
it
’
s official
, I think to myself as I sink even
further down into my seat at the kitchen table,
I can now say in all truth
that I know what hell looks like.

I
barely hear a word of the conversation buzzing in the air as the Porter and
Hawthorne families tuck into their dinners. Unable to even think about touching
my own food, I sip my wine in shell-shocked silence. How can this be happening?
How can it be possible that Luke freaking Hawthorne is sitting across from me
at
“
family dinner
”
, looking calm and collected as ever? Is he not the
least bit freaked out to see me here? Does he care at all that our relationship
has just gotten ten times weirder, perhaps even impossible, given our parents
’
history? How am I the only one who
’
s freaking out about this whole goddamn side show?

“
So nice to have everyone here at
last,
”
my Mom trills, looking around at
the seven less-than-enthusiastic faces around the table.
“
Have all you kids gotten to know each other by now?
”

I
can feel Luke
’
s eyes boring into me from across
the table. He
’
s waiting for me to explain how it
is we know each other. Waiting to see if I
’
ve changed my mind. If I could swan
dive into my wine glass right now, I would.

“
More or less,
”
Cash replies to my mom.

“
Glad you kids are all acquainted,
”
John says curtly.

“
Your dad is a man of few words,
”
Mom smiles at John,
“
Are
all you boys strong silent types as well?
”

“
I don
’
t know if I
’
d
put it that way,
”
Luke puts in, his voice
impossibly even.
“
We all have more than our fair
share of differences.
”

“
Sounds like my girls, too,
”
Mom says,
“
Annabel takes after me, with her
photography and all. Maddie
’
s our little working girl over in
Seattle. And Sophia
’
s studying drama and dance at
Sheridan University.
”

“
Yeah, I know,
”
Luke replies, his green eyes gleaming with grim
determination as they swing back to my face.

I
send a huge gulp of wine gushing down the wrong pipe, and double over as a
coughing fit overtakes me. So much for playing it cool. What the hell does Luke
think he
’
s doing? He can
’
t possibly think that sharing our backstory is a good
idea, here? Our families
’
small talk is drowned out by
the frantic thundering of my heart. I glance desperately up at Luke the second
I stop choking, looking at him directly for the first time since he sprung up
out of that lake like some kind of water god. Maybe I can master ESP in the
next two minutes and beg him not to say another word? But there
’
s no need for ESP with him. He can read people like
open books. It helps that the look I
’
m giving him clearly reads,
“
NO. PLEASE. DON
’
T.
”
in
gigantic bold print.

“
So, you and Sophie are at the same
school?
”
Maddie says to Luke, dragging my
mind back to the present,
“
I
’
m sure undergrads and graduate students don
’
t see much of each other, though.
”

“
Oh, I think Sophie and I have seen
each other around school once or twice,
”
Luke replies, his strong
square jaw pulsing with the tension of words unsaid. Finally, my icy panic has
a second to thaw. Maybe he
’
s not going to blow our spot just
yet
…

“
Sophie, you didn
’
t tell me you knew Luke!
”
Mom gasps, turning to me with a rapturous smile.

“
Well, I didn
’
t exactly know we were family friends,
”
I snap before I can stop myself,
“
Or that I
’
d be seeing him
—
them
—
here, did I? Besides, I don't know
him. We just go to the same school. With thousands of other people. It
’
s not the same thing.
”

A
crease appears between Luke
’
s perfectly sculpted brows as I
blush furiously. He
’
s gone from frustrated to downright
pissed. I don
’
t know why I
’
m lying about how we know each other, I
’
m purely in survival mode, here.

“
I guess Sheridan is a much bigger
school than the one me and John met in,
”
Mom goes on, totally
oblivious to the drama unfolding between me and Luke.
“
Little Flathead County High was not exactly a hopping
place. What did we have, a hundred kids per class?
”

“
We still had our fun though, didn
’
t we?
”
John
says, grinning suggestively at Mom.

“
We sure did,
”
Mom smiles back, looking for the world like a blushing
schoolgirl. What the hell is this, now?

“
So, what, you two dated in high
school or something?
”
Annabel asks, finally putting
voice to the subject that all us adult children have been skirting around.

“
Or something
…”
John mutters.

“
Actually,
”
Mom says breathlessly,
“
John
and I were engaged.
”

My
stomach turns over as I whip around to face my mother
—
and I
’
m not the only person at the table
looking suddenly nauseated. My sisters, Luke, Cash, and their youngest brother
Finn are all staring at our parents with rapt, uneasy focus.

“
Well, that
’
s a conversation we haven
’
t had,
”
Maddie says curtly, glaring
at our mother.

“
You were engaged?
”
I splutter,
“
What
…
When?!
”

“
All through senior year of high
school,
”
Mom tells us, sighing
nostalgically.

“
But I couldn
’
t keep this one pinned down in Podunk, Montana,
”
John adds, none-too-amiably.

“
My scholarship to art school came
through, and I couldn
’
t pass it up,
”
Mom shrugs,
“
Besides, we were so young
…”

“
Isn
’
t art school where you met Dad?
”
Anna asks our mother.

“
It is,
”
Mom allows. A shadow crosses over her face as Dad
comes up for the first time since we
’
ve been here.

“
So if that scholarship hadn
’
t come through, you would have
stayed here and married John
…”
Anna goes on, a dreamy look
in her eye. I wish to god that she would stop with these hypotheticals before I
puke all over the table.

“
That was the plan,
”
John says, sneaking a warm glance at our mother.

“
So if you think about it,
”
Anna goes on,
“
John is sort of, like, our
almost-dad.
”

There
it is. The exact thing I was trying not to think this whole time. Even if we
had no knowledge of our parents
’
past, Luke and I have still
shared this baffling connection the whole time we
’
ve
known each other
—
when I was crushing on him during
his lectures, when we shared that steamy hookup in the bathroom of the bar,
when we stayed up all last night texting each other the dirtiest things we
could think of
…
Our entire relationship is
suspect, now. And there
’
s nothing we can do about it.

“
Almost-dad,
”
Mom laughs,
“
What a thing to say, Anna! You
’
ve always been the inventive one.
”

“
She
’
s got a point though,
”
John
says with a shrug,
“
There
’
s no way of knowing what might have been, if only
…”

“
No real need to wonder about what
might have been though, is there?
”
Maddie snaps, her face
reddening,
“
Seeing as we had a dad, and all. A
great dad.
”

“
Maddie,
”
I say softly, trying to reach her through her
simmering rage. 

“
Had a dad?
”
asks Finn, the youngest Hawthorne brother.

“
Yeah. Had. He died,
”
Maddie all but spits,
“
But
I guess someone forgot to relay that information, too.
”

I
fix my gaze on the table, blinking back sudden tears. I can feel Luke
’
s green eyes hard on my face, but I don
’
t dare meet them. The empathy I know I
’
d find there would put me right over the edge. And I
won
’
t give anyone here the satisfaction
of making me cry.

“
Excuse me,
”
Maddie mutters,
“
I just
…
I don
’
t seem to have much of an appetite.
”

She
leaps up from the table in a huff, effectively ending this bizarro family
dinner. As the group begins to disperse, all I can think of is getting Luke
alone. Not for our previously planned liaison, but to regroup and figure out
what the hell we
’
re going to do now. I finally raise
my eyes to his over the table as our families scatter with a look that clearly
says,
We need to talk.

Luke
jerks his head subtly toward the patio door, and I nod my assent. Amid the
chaos of the broken-up dinner party, we slip away to reconvene in a less public
arena.

Dewy
blades of grass cling to my bare ankles as I hurry across the wide backyard of
the Hawthorne lake house, trailing Luke down to the dock. My head swims with
new gleaned information and, to be perfectly honest, a bit more wine than may
have been wise. But hey, something tells me that this is a conversation I
’
ll be happy to be a bit buzzed for.

Luke
’
s broad, built figure stands out against the inky
lake, imposing and flawless as ever. It
’
s still bizarre to see him in
shorts and a tee shirt, rather than slacks and a button down. I actually find
myself wishing we could be back in that lecture hall together. Economic theory
may have bored me to tears, but at least our dynamic was clear cut then. But
now? The status of our relationship couldn
’
t be any murkier.

“
Well,
”
Luke
remarks gruffly, looking up as I approach the end of the dock,
“
Fancy meeting you here.
”
It
’
s the first full sentence he
’
s spoken to me since he nearly gave me a heart attack
climbing out of that lake.