Stepbrother Undefeated: An MMA Romance
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Authors: Emilia Green
Copyright © 2015 Emilia Green
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Written by Emilia Green
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STEPBROTHER UNDEFEATED
Emilia Green
PROLOGUE
I stirred in bed looking over at the red blinking light from the clock on my side table. 3:30AM it flashed. What was he up to now? Logan, my stepbrother had been MIA for almost a week but I knew it was him. I'd shared a home with him long enough to know what his footsteps sounded like. He paused outside my door. I didn't think too much before getting out of bed, I flicked on the light switch and opened my bedroom door to confront him.
I was right, Logan's muscular figure was unmistakable, even in the darkness. He took a few steps towards me his face glued to the carpeted floor, the light from my room now illuminating him so I could see him properly.
"I don't want to go," he slurred. He was drunk but that was nothing new. What surprised me was that he seemed to be genuinely distraught.
"Where the hell have you been?" I asked. I didn't mean to sound so demanding but the truth was Mom, my stepfather Chris, and I had been worried sick all week, none of us thought he'd make his flight to Manila tomorrow.
"Who cares? You certainly don't," he slurred again.
I don't care? Good one Logan. If only he realised that I cared, I cared way too much.
He raised his head so he was looking me in the eye. His eyes were glazed over but even so, they were the most hypnotising eyes I'd ever seen. I moved my head down to the ground now. I couldn't handle the intimacy of being locked in his gaze. His perfect pretty boy face was enough to make any girl melt but I wasn't going to let him know it.
"What are you talking about?" I asked feeling hurt at his insensitive remark.
This was the most amount of interaction we'd had in a over a year. Between Logan's stint in juvi and my time in hospital there hadn't been much time for a family reunion. It wasn't like Logan would make time anyway, he avoided me like the plague and disappeared at any off chance we might have to spend actual time with each other. Even still I could never hate him. I could not deny the way I felt for Logan. He was the one thing that kept me going even if he didn't want to know it.
"I'm sorry Willow, ah, fuck, this is what I mean....I'm a shitty person," he stammered, he was behaving erratic. "I'm sorry Willow...I'll never be able to say it enough," he repeated with more desperation in his voice. He never let his guard down for anyone, not even me. He got down on his knees and took my wrists in his hands shaking them a little aggressively. "Look at me," he demanded, pulling his hands away when he realised he was hurting me.
I looked down at him, even the pained expression he had couldn't take away the fact that he was gorgeous. Maybe a normal person would be scared by the way he was acting but all I felt was a longing for him to let his guard down just once, for me. It hurt so bad to see him like this, it hurt even more to know there was nothing I could do. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. Why Logan? Why did it have to be like this?
"You deserve so much and I can never give you that," he added.
I couldn't hold it any longer. My eyes stung as tears fell down my cheeks. Why did he have to hit me where it hurt the most?
"You can," I sobbed looking at him, desperate for a sign I wasn't alone in this, "you choose to be like this Logan,"
"I'm going tomorrow Willow, I'm leaving and you need to forget about me, you need to be happy and this won't make you happy," Logan told me. He stood up shakily and turned his back on me phasing for a moment as if he was contemplating what to say. He shook his head silently and walked away.
"No! Don't go!" I called after him, falling to my knees. I heard the front door open and then close. He was gone. "Don't go Logan. I love you. Don't leave me," I sobbed, with only myself to hear.
There was nothing I could do. There was no one I could tell. Logan would be oceans away tomorrow.
CHAPTER ONE
ONE YEAR LATER
"Willow, do we need to talk about it?" Mom asked.
She was referring to my lack of appetite. My lack of appetite was due to none other than the stress of Logan's return but how was she to know that? I certainly wasn't going to tell her.
"No Mom, we don't," I replied trying to sound as polite as possible. I knew she was just worried but it still frustrated me the way she monitored everything I ate. It had been over a year since I'd skipped a meal on purpose. I self diagnosed myself as better but I knew there was still the fear from others my eating disorder would come back again. I was finally in a place where I felt I had control, in just a few weeks I'd be off to college and I wouldn't have anyone looking over my shoulder at least.
"Well for my peace of mind it would be nice if you ate something," she said handing me a blueberry muffin from the batch she just made.
I accepted it, removed the paper case and took a bite. I suspect there was nothing wrong with the taste but I struggled to finish it. Everything tasted bland lately, a side effect of being stressed I suppose. I sat at the kitchen counter scrolling through my Instagram feed, trying to distract myself.
"Are you sure you don't want to come to the airport tonight? It would be nice if we were all there together," Mom said. Her and Chris were picking up Logan tonight.
"I can't Mom, I have plans with Caleb, I really don't think Logan would care if I was there or not, he pretty much hates me," I replied nonchalantly pretending to play on my phone. The truth was my eyes were glazed over and my stomach was in knots. I had known for weeks that Logan was coming home but it didn't make me feel any more prepared. I was riding on the time in between his arrival and my leaving for college, going by quickly.
"He doesn't hate you Willow," she said sighing "he cares about us all, he just has a funny way of showing it, plus I truly believe he's finally grown up a bit," Mom knew things with Logan and I had been tense but as far as she thought it was just your regular step-sibling loathing.
"Yeah well, we'll see about that," I replied.
Mom and Chris had spent a month with him in the Philippines earlier in the year. Logan was there doing volunteer work in an orphanage. I don't know if it would be right to say he was forced to go but there was definitely a lot of pressure for him to do so. He'd been in trouble with the law and was heading down a bad road; drinking, drugs, fighting. Chris told him this was "the time to turn his life around", it surprised us all when he got on that plane last year.
I went upstairs to my room closing the door behind me. I reached under my bed and pulled out the re-decorated shoe box I kept there. I had no idea why I kept this old thing, I had made it in junior high and it was tacky and childish. Still, the contents was what mattered to me, it was full of photos and letters and little souvenirs - all of them having something to do with Logan. I picked up a polaroid photo of the two of us running my thumb across the glossy paper. It was my sixteenth birthday. We looked happy, we were happy. I barely remember the last time I smiled like that, I wondered if Logan had ever smiled like that since then. He looked smaller than the last time I saw him, not that he was ever small, he had always been tall and muscular but nothing like the last night I saw him. He had shaved off his shoulder length blonde hair and rocked this marine look, tattoos covered his arms and chest, I had never been close enough to see what they were.
In the last year I had written him over a hundred letters but I held on to them still, I kept them in the box. I stopped writing Logan letters not long after me and Caleb made it official. Writing letters kept me from internalising my pain, but writing the words down now only made me feel guilty, like I was betraying Caleb, like I was betraying myself. I didn't want to admit that the flame I held for Logan was still there. I cared about my boyfriend Caleb, he treated me with kindness and respect, he made me laugh, he was romantic, he was sweet and most of all he was there for me when I needed him. When he told me he loved me I couldn't say it back, he understood and said he'd give me time, I thought time would be what I needed but it dwelled on me that time might just lead me back to the realisation that I'm longing for the one person I can never have.
I felt my cellphone vibrate beside me. Caleb was calling.
"Hey," I said, dropping the photo back in the box and put the lid on it.
"Hey beautiful, what are you doing?" He asked me.
"Nothing, just reading a book," I lied.
"Still wanna hang later?" Caleb asked.
"Of course, I can't wait," I told him. It was true, I wanted to be around him more than anything right now.
"Cool. I'll pick you up in an hour?"
"Okay. See you then!" I said hanging up, my hands were shaking a little, I didn't like lying.
I fell back on my bed and my mind quickly trailed back to Logan, I wondered what he looked like now. I thought back to the last night I saw him, the night before he left. I remember the way his muscles bulged as he took my frail wrists in his strong hands. Did he grow his hair long again? I like it when he had long hair, it softened him. I thought back to the week he slipped away from me. He had been acting up for months but it wasn't until the night of the incident when I realised how out of control Logan's anger issues were. It was a big night for our small town High School. Our football team had won state champion, Logan was the linebacker and he saved the game dramatically in the last minute. Everyone was celebrating at Gabby Mitchell's family lake house, myself and Logan included. We had all been drinking that night, I was new to drinking alcohol and with my small frame it went right through me, I was black out drunk. All I know is that Logan had an altercation with another guy from school, Drew, and ended up putting him in hospital.
After that night Logan began avoiding me. Because of his history with fighting he didn't get off lightly, they put him in juvi to finish his last year of high school. He didn't want me to visit and when he was out he continued his bad behaviour coming home drunk or high each night or disappearing for days on end. He was a different person but even still I tried to break down his walls and let him know I wanted to be there for him. He didn't want it though. He did everything in his power to show me how little he cared about me.
I got up to get ready for tonight. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I'd been lounging at home all day in baggy sweat pants and my hair in a messy bun, it was time to clean myself up. After I showered I straightened my long brunette hair and put on a little mascara and lip gloss. I chose a denim mini skirt, white t shirt and a pair of black Converse. I went downstairs to wait for Caleb knowing he'd be punctual.
Caleb pulled into the driveway right on time. I skipped out the front door to greet him.
"Hey!" I said sliding into the passengers seat.
"You look cute," he said leaning over to kiss me. I smiled at him, suddenly feeling safe again.
CHAPTER TWO
It was getting late and I knew Caleb would have to drop me home soon since he had work early the next day.
"Shall we get going then?" he asked me. We had finished our dessert almost an hour ago and sat in each others company mostly silent as we played around on our phones occasionally conversing about some current event or laughing together at a funny picture.
"I guess," I replied. I was feeling nervous about what would happen when I got home.