Stereo (31 page)

“Veronica,” Shaun gasped with bated breath, wide-eyed.

“Shaun,” Veronica said with a hint of cheer in her voice. The blond stood displaying her signature sly smile. Her hands were placed on her hips, making her long milky arms seem almost spidery.  As Shaun broke her neck looking up at Veronica all she could think was that this was what a real model looked like.  All legs and arms, with a permanent scowl plastered across her flawless face.

“What are you doing here?”  Shaun asked, still struggling to recover from her shock.

Veronica raised a perfectly threaded eyebrow.  “I could ask you the very same question.”

“Oh…”  Shaun looked behind her at the door of Jackson’s office.  “Oh, I just had a photo-shoot here a couple of days ago and was just stopping by to say thanks.”

That blonde eyebrow remained raised.  “To the editor and chief?”

“Yeah,” Shaun mumbled.

“At eleven o’clock at night?  On a Saturday?”

“Yeah.”  Shaun’s heart began racing. “Yep.”

An icy silence passed as Veronica slowly looked her up and down.  “I knew there was something off about you.  I knew it.”

Shaun was suddenly no longer afraid, but irritated.  “You don’t know a god damn thing about me.”

“I think I’m going to go ahead and find out,
Shaun Green.
” Veronica sneered at her before turning on her heel and stomping away.

“And just what are
you
doing here at eleven o’clock at night?” Shaun called after her, frantically.  She jammed her eyes shut when Veronica was out of sight, cursing softly under her breath.

She had to end this, before someone else ended it for her.

Thirteen

Tiny beads of sweat swam across Shaun’s forehead.  Her feet--on the floor, and her fingers—on her keyboard, were doing an incessant musical dance as her eyes moved across the screen of her laptop.  It was done.  The article was done.  She couldn’t believe it.  Never in her life had she begun a piece of writing that she hadn’t finished, and this article was no exception.  Though she’d decided the night before that she had absolutely no intention of submitting it, some powerful tug inside of her had to finish the article.  She wasn’t the same woman she had been when she’d started it, and she felt, if anything, finishing it was an exercise in realizing just how much the last month, and Adam Brand, had changed her.

For the better?  She wasn’t so sure.  Even if it wasn’t for the better she knew that she was making the right decision in deciding not to publish it.  So, if anything, she’d be able to sleep at night for the first time in four weeks.

While she re-read her words, sporadically shaking her head at the content she’d managed to get down on paper all those weeks ago, she was also listening to the angry voice of her editor Jackson as she played his voicemail for what had to be the fifth time that sunny Saturday morning.

“Shaun it’s Jackson I still don’t have your finished article and we go to press in twenty four hours it would be great to know where the fuck you are thanks.”

Jackson never spoke in full sentences, just angry run-ons. The sound of his voice alone was enough to solidify to Shaun that not sending in the article was the right way to go.  Even so, she couldn’t stop playing his message.  As she went to replay it, again, the sound of her friend groaning from the living room couch stopped her.

“No… no more,” Celia slurred, from where her lips were muffled into one of Shaun’s many throw pillows. “Stop it… evil man.”

“Go back to sleep,” Shaun said.  She decided to spare her hung-over friend the sound of Jackson’s voice for the millionth time and instead read over the last rule of her article, again.

Rule #10: No More Games

So… with a little wit, a little savvy, a little charm and a lot of very strategic hair flips you’ve managed to land your rock star. Congratulations are certainly in order as this is no small feat.  Like all manipulative and devious things, however, the games must come to an end.  Just like you, your friends, your family and anyone who’s ever touched you in your life… rock stars are people, too, with feelings, hearts and souls.  It is important that you don’t lose sight of the humanity in him--the good.  If your rock star has no humanity or good in him then please run for your life, as no amount of money or fame is worth your sanity.  But if he or she is anything like my rock star—who has become much less my ‘star’ and much more my ‘rock’--if there is anything even remotely real between the two of you, drop everything and let the universe do the rest of the work.  You deserve that and if he’s even an iota the man that my rock star is, then I’m sure he does, too.*

*As of press time I will not be publishing this article and will surely be fired because of it.  None of that matters to me, however.  All that matters is that my rock star knows the truth.  My rock.  My shining star. Adam.  I’m not sure if there’s anything I could ever say that would make him forgive me for even fathoming writing this article, but I have to try.  I have to.

“Hungry. Uuuuhhhh. I’m hungry noooow.”

“Hush,” Shaun commanded, attempting to ignore her friend who, as she could see out of the corner of her eye, was slowly pulling her numb body into a sitting position.  Shaun finally looked toward the couch, chuckling at the sight of her normally flawless best friend’s hair sticking straight up, her mascara running a race down her cheeks, and bright red lipstick smeared down her chin.

“I want pizza.”  Celia pouted as she wiped a string of drool off her cheek with the back of her hand.  “Pizza friend.”

“I might have some frozen pizza in the fridge,” Shaun said, standing from her chair with a laugh.  “Lay back down, I’ll bring you some water.”

“With lemons,” Celia whined. “And oranges…”  Her voice went softer and she finally complied with her friend’s demands, falling back on the couch.

“Lemons and oranges it is.”  Shaun quickly threw a pizza into the oven and got to work chopping up a few lemons and oranges for the princess in her living room.  All of this drama because a guy Celia had been seeing had dropped off the face of the earth.  They’d slept together a couple of times and, just like that, he’d gone MIA.  Shaun and Celia had been out at a bar for a few drinks the night before when, apparently, Celia got sent to voicemail one time too many.  Too many shots of Patron later the woman had been passed out on Shaun’s couch. 

“Do you want to talk about what happened last night?” Shaun asked, walking back into her living room with a glass of ice cold citrus water in her hand.

Celia was sitting up, again, attempting to straighten out her hair.  It was a lost cause.  She took the water from Shaun and took a few healthy sips before speaking.  “I just can’t… believe it. He’s making me look like a god damn fool.”

“Maybe he has a girlfriend.  Maybe he’s married.”

“Maybe.”  Celia shrugged. “But that doesn’t give him the right to completely ignore me.  Who the hell does he think he is?  I’m the one who decides when this ends, not him.”

Shaun plopped on the couch next to her.  “Ah… so this is all about your ego right now.  You’ve never been dumped a day in your life and now that it’s finally happened you don’t know how to deal?”

“He didn’t dump me.  He can’t dump me when we weren’t even together.  We were just fucking.”

“So what’s the big deal?”

Celia looked at her friend, and then rolled her eyes.  “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

Celia groaned and stood up when her friend’s gaze became too much. “How long until the pizza’s ready?”

“About fifteen minutes,” Shaun said. She watched Celia’s wobbly walk come to an abrupt stop in front of her computer. 

“Rule number ten,” Celia finally said, taking another noisy sip of water.  “You finished it.”

“I did.”  Shaun began playing with her nails.  “But I’m not sending it.  I’ve decided I’m going to tell Adam.”

“Ugh.”

“What?” Shaun challenged.

Celia turned to her.  “You’re an idiot if you don’t send that article in, but you’re an even bigger idiot if you don’t send it in
and then
proceed to tell him all about it.  If you do that you really will lose everything.”

“Maybe if I tell him the truth he’ll find a way to forgive me.”

Celia laughed heartily.  “Is that a joke?  He will never speak to you, again.”

“You don’t know that.”

“The man is the biggest celebrity on the planet. He has been for years.  There is no way you and I could even fathom how many times he has been used, lied to and betrayed.  Do you know how many people he probably has on his shit-list for using him?  Dozens, hundreds, maybe thousands.  The second he finds out he cannot trust you, you will be
dead
to him, Shaun.”

“Maybe he cares about me enough to get past it.”

“He won’t.  Think about the people who have lied to you in your life?  Were you ever able to forgive them?  And, even so, were you ever able to see them in the same way, again?”

Shaun knew the answer to that question, but was too proud to say it.

“He is a public figure and his image is everything.  You wouldn’t even be in the picture right now if his image wasn’t everything to him.  He would never risk being with someone he couldn’t trust.  If you lied about this—and I gotta tell you, friend, your lie is a
doozy
—god only knows what else you will lie to him about.  As a public figure there is no doubt that he hates all writers, all journalists, anyone and anything that has to do with the media in general. He thinks you are an aspiring model pursuing a fashion degree.  When he finds out you’ve not only been lying about who you are and what you do, but that you’ve also been
writing a fucking article on him
he’ll dump you right away.  You will never see him again, okay?”

“I just can’t lie to him anymore.  He’s a good person.”

“He’s a racist. A documented man whore.  What the hell do you see really happening between the two of you, Shaun?  I mean, really?  Do you actually think he would really settle down with you?  Marry you?  Have brown babies with you?  Honestly, friend.  Be honest with yourself. Are you really willing to throw away your whole life on a man who publically said he can’t get wood for black women?”

Shaun stewed in a long, uncomfortable silence.  Celia was asking all the right questions, but they just weren’t enough to change her mind.  “It doesn’t matter.  I’m not just doing this for Adam.  I’m doing it for me.  It’s the right thing to do.”

Celia searched her friend’s face for a long while, still bobbing slightly back and forth.  Her head was spinning a bit.  “Are you sure about that?”

Shaun was a little surprised at the anger in her friend’s voice.  “Yes.” 

Celia asked stumbled back to the computer where she pointed to the screen.  “Then why do you have the entire, finished article sitting in an unsent email addressed to your boss?  Huh?”  Celia waited for an answer, and when the silence persisted she continued. “If you’re
so sure…
why are you one mouse click away from doing the exact thing you’re
so sure
you don’t want to do?”

“I care about him, Celia.”

Celia looked physically pained.  “I’m not sure if it’s you, or the tequila but I’m seriously about to throw up right now.  Pretty sure it’s you, though.”  She slammed the empty glass of water on Shaun’s desk and made her way towards the bathroom.

“Why are you so desperate for me to hurt him?  Do you want me to be alone forever?  A virgin forever?”

Celia turned back to her. “I don’t want you to ruin your life just because, for the first time
in your life
a guy is offering you a little dick. You’re a beautiful queen, and there will be a million more guys who will have ten times more respect for you than Adam ever will.  He will never respect you!”

“He does respect me. You don’t know anything about him.”

Celia held her arms out in defeat. “I think I’m well within my rights to hate his guts and expect the same from you! What more is there? I don’t think I’m wrong for not wanting you to be some white man’s black experiment.  He’ll fuck you, get bored, and go running right back to whatever blonde he temporarily tossed aside while he went for a walk on the wild side.  Wake up, dude.  Please.” Celia turned back to the bathroom, feeling especially sick now.

“Fuck you!” 

Celia stopped walking abruptly and turned to Shaun.  She was smiling. “That’s fine.  In fact, I think that’s the most proud I’ve ever been of you, friend.  Do me proud again, send that fucking article.”

Shaun covered her face with her hands.

Celia tilted her head.  “I think we both know
that
is the right thing to do.  If you need me I’ll be throwing up.”  She stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door.

--

The White Keys’ album release party was that night and, after arguing for the better part of the afternoon, Celia had finally fallen back to sleep in Shaun’s bedroom.   Shaun had taken the much needed peace and quiet to get ready for the party.  She and Adam were going to be meeting in less than two hours, and she hadn’t even taken a shower.