Authors: Ilsa Evans
âWell, well, well. The errant wife. Come to help me pack, have you?'
Maddie spoke stiffly. âI want to see the kids. That's all.'
Jake put his head on one side, as if considering. Then he stood back and made a grandiose ushering gesture. âThen come in by all means. Come in.'
Maddie hesitated for just a second and then stepped over the threshold and let Jake shut the door behind. He nodded at her, almost approvingly, and led the way to the kitchen, towards the other end of the house. It was an open-plan design, with a wide passage leading from the front door all the way to the kitchen, with rooms jutting off it. Family room, study, lounge, meals area. Exactly fifteen steps from entrance to kitchen. Maddie knew this without even having to strain for the memory, just as she knew it was four steps from one child's room to the other, and eight steps from the main bedroom to the nearest exit, and that open-plan was only good when you never had to hide.
Maddie felt the regret of nostalgia, but only a little, as though it had been someone else who had lived here. Even though the house was almost exactly as it had been back then. Wall-to-wall cream carpeting and gold-framed prints and neutral furnishings with the occasional antique to add depth. Of course there were changes as well, but they were minor ones. Like the Margaret Olley print having been moved from the passage to the foyer, and sandstone-coloured curtains now covering the sliding door that led to the patio. And the feeling that she didn't belong, not one little bit, and maybe she never had.
âWhere are they?' asked Maddie, looking around as they entered the kitchen.
Instead of answering, Jake went over to the bench and picked up a bottle of wine. âWould you like a glass?'
âNo thank you. Where are they?'
He looked across at her and then raised an eyebrow, as if amused. âI do hope you're going to be a little more neighbourly down the track. Take me, for example. Your contact isn't until Saturday night and yet I still invited you in. It's called making an effort.'
Maddie stared at him, her lips thin.
âSo I ask again. Glass of wine?'
She hesitated, and then nodded. âJust a little.'
âExcellent.' Jake poured wine into two spider crystal glasses and passed one over to Maddie, nodding towards the stools that lined the bench. âSit down. Get a load off. It's been a long day, hasn't it?'
Maddie cradled the glass in one hand but didn't sit down.
âAnd you just caught me as well. About to head out, to celebrate with the family. Feel free to join us. I'm sure everyone would love to see you again. Catch up on old times.'
âWhere are the kids?'
âYou're like a broken record, aren't you?' Jake grinned at her with a fondness that made Maddie's stomach lurch, despite everything. âJust can't let anything go.'
Well, I let you go, didn't I?
The words popped into Maddie's mouth and almost slid out before she was able to swallow them. âThey're not actually here, are they?'
âGood guess, Einstein.'
âWhere are they?'
âNone of your business. And after today I really can say that, you know. It
is
none of your business.' Jake grinned and then laughed as if they were just good friends having a chat. âHang on, that was such fun I might do it again. Wait for it . . . none of your business. God, it just doesn't get old.'
Moving slowly, emphasising dignity, Maddie put down her glass and took a step backwards.
âYou don't want to talk about things then?' Jake sighed, as if disappointed but not surprised. âNow that it's not going your way, you just want to bale. Is that it? No discussion at all.'
âThat depends on whether it's going to be constructive or not.'
âFor whom?' Jake shot back. He grinned and took a sip of wine, watching her over the rim of his glass.
Maddie stared at him. He
was
looking older, but it was an almost indecipherable aging, and she wondered, suddenly, whether she was the same. Or whether she was now an almost middle-aged version of the young woman who had made all those choices. She pushed the thoughts away. âYou lied today. In court.'
âTruth is subjective, sweetheart. You of all people should know that.'
âInterpretation might be subjective,' replied Maddie evenly. âBut you flat out lied.'
Jake shrugged. âNo point being a sore loser, Mat. It's not a good look.'
âNeither is lying.'
âEnough already.' Jake started to look irritated. âYou snooze, you lose. Deal with it.'
Maddie continued to stare at him and then quite suddenly, with a cold flash of insight, realised that she could talk about this until she was blue in the face and it would make absolutely no difference. What she saw as one of the most frustratingly shocking parts of the day, that he was prepared to twist the truth so hugely and that the magistrate believed him, was to Jake a minor detail only. A tactic that paid dividends. All was fair in love and war.
âAnd what did you expect anyway? That I was going to sit there and let you say all that crap about me and not say anything back? What sort of idiot do you think I am?'
Maddie shook her head slowly. She felt a surge of misery, like thin vomit.
âOr that you'd be able to get up there and have everyone feel sorry for you?' Jake snorted, and then put on an exaggerated, high-pitched whine. âLook at me, I'm so hard done by. Now give me everything I want.'
Maddie stared at the wineglass on the bench. She pictured herself picking it up and throwing it straight into his face. So that it would look like pale blood was leaching from his skin. Either that or she could just drink it. And then keep on drinking.
âYou're priceless.' Jake drained his glass and reached for the bottle to refill it. âI'll say one thing though, you're like a lioness, aren't you? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you're a good mother. You're not; in fact you're crap. But boy, do you go out on a limb for those kids. I used to quite admire that, once.' He gave a dismissive gesture, as if that was all in the past, and then gazed at her pensively. After a few moments, a half-smile stretched his lips. â
I
get it. You came here to ask them about the ICL. What they said for him to recommend they stay with me.'
Maddie didn't answer, because it was the truth.
âIt's killing you, isn't it? The idea that they chose me.'
âYou probably bribed them. Or lied, just like you did today.'
âHard to face facts, I suppose.' He smiled sympathetically, then took another sip of wine and put his glass down on the bench. âOkay then, do you want to get serious or do you want to continue talking about everything that happened today? Because I'm happy to, if that's what you want. More than happy. In fact, I can even give you a few pointers on where you went wrong.'
Maddie continued to stare at him, making a huge effort to keep her face expressionless.
âOr maybe you'd like our new address.' Jake raised his hand to her eye level and then clicked his fingers, the sound fracturing the air between them. â
I
know! You wanted to plan a surprise house-warming and now I've gone and fucked it all up. Bugger.'
Maddie took a deep breath so that she could push the words out. âCan I see them?'
âAh! Now
that's
a reasonable question.' He leant back against the sink and regarded her thoughtfully for a while. âBut I think . . . no. Not till Saturday at five anyway. Oh, and there's a few things they'd like from your house now that their living arrangements have changed. Some clothes and other stuff. Passports too, because we're thinking of going overseas next year. Maybe Hong Kong.' He paused, as if considering. âYeah, they'd enjoy that. Maybe even more than Seaworld. So if you could pack their things up, that'd be great. And a dog. Apparently there's a dog that belongs to them?'
âYou know full well there's a dog. You saw it, when you took them.'
âSo there is!' Jake smiled. âI'd forgotten. After all, that day was such a blur. When you have sudden reunions after
such
a long time . . . well, incidentals get forgotten. You'll know what I mean soon enough.'
âI have court-ordered access,' said Maddie, making an effort to keep her voice steady. âAnd you're not getting the dog.'
He laughed suddenly, with real humour. âGood to see you've got your priorities straight.'
âBesides, the final orders are just around the corner. And now that I know how dirty you're willing to play, I'll be well prepared.'
âExcellent! I love a challenge!' Jake smiled again, but it was a movement which only stretched his mouth, nothing more. His voice flattened. âBut I wouldn't start getting too confident, my little Waltzing Matilda. Give me a few months and I'll have them out of that one-horse fucking town you dragged them to and back here where they belong. And you'll be paying so much child support you won't even be able to afford the petrol to come see them.'
Maddie stared at him, paralysed by the sudden venom.
âAs for you being well prepared,' he shook his head sadly, âit won't be even
close
to enough. You should know after today that these magistrates are quite capable of seeing through all your
poor me
bullshit. Straight through to the number-one bitch that you really are. So bend over, sweetheart, and spread them.' He made a sudden thrusting movement with his pelvis that took her completely by surprise. An instinctive, primeval fear clenched within her gut. He smiled, knowingly, and blew her a kiss. âI'm gonna
so
enjoy shafting you. And you never know, a slut like you, you'll probably even learn to enjoy it.'
This time Maddie didn't even pause to think, although images did play in the background as she went for the wineglass. Images of the magistrate's dour face, of Jake winking as he walked past, of the self-righteousness of his fat ignorant lawyer, and then, shoving everything else away, that thrusting pelvis. All of which simply gave impetus to her actions as she reached forward, picked up the glass and flung the contents across the kitchen. For a moment the liquid looked as if it was poised in midair, droplets stretching out fore and aft like a Pro Hart painting, and then it continued on. Straight into his face.
And everything blew apart. It seemed as if the liquid had barely reached its target before Jake was on the move, rushing forward and knocking her to the ground with one almighty blow to the shoulder. She hit the island bench on the way down, just enough to break her fall. Then, from where she lay, Maddie stared up at his furious face, while red wine dripped down onto her beautiful sage jacket. She was frightened, but also angry, and was conscious of a recklessness that was very unlike her. It made her want to laugh, even as she recognised that such laughter would be just this side of hysteria.
âYou just made a mistake, you fucking bitch. A
big
mistake.'
âNo, my mistake was years ago.' Her voice came out high, but even. âWhen I married you.'
Jake shook his head, red wine now dribbling down into his snow-white collar, almost matching his tie. âOh my, you've got a fucking death wish.'
Maddie continued to stare up at him from the floor, part of her marvelling at how unpleasant he looked from this angle. The extra flesh formed pouches that made his skin appear to be melting, while the grooves either side of his mouth were scars, slashed across his face. It was as if his temperament had finally absorbed his looks. âYou're ugly,' she said in a wondering voice.
Jake looked startled, as if this was the last thing he had expected to hear. Then his mouth thinned and he thrust one hand down into Maddie's hair, fingers ricocheting off her skull and taking hold of a swathe right near the roots. For a moment she had an oddly restless, déjà vu moment,
Oh that's right, I remember this
, and then pain ripped the thought in half as Jake started to tug her, by the hair, towards the passage.
On all fours now, Maddie dug her heels in so that she could pull back against the force, her eyes watering with pain. âLet
go
.'
Instead of answering, Jake readjusted his hand to get a better grip, winding her hair around his fingers so that she was caught fast. He lifted her, just slightly, but enough to set her scalp on fire, and she reached up with both hands to scrabble against him with her short fingernails. Anything to make him release his hold. But instead he set off, walking in lurching strides with Maddie now struggling along by his side on her knees, her head stretched upwards to take as much tension as possible from her scalp. Even so every movement tore at her skull, stretching skin from bone and, despite herself, she heard a whimpering. And knew it was her.
As if the sound gave him added impetus, Jake suddenly began a litany of which she was all too familiar. Except that this time, now, he had extra ammunition.
âFucking
bitch
. Have a go at
me
, for Christ sake.
Slut!
Fucking fat
cow
.'
Maddie managed to grasp his wrist, dragging it closer towards her head to alleviate some of the pressure. Now the pain began in earnest whenever he took a step forward, and then peaked as she was dragged along immediately after. But there was a second or so of blessed relief in between, just enough for fury to blossom within the fear.
âYou've got a damn nerve, coming
here
. After what you did to me!' Jake reached the hallway, wrenching her off the carpet and along the slate tiles. âStealing my fucking children! Six fucking
years
!'
The strips of grouting tore at her knees and she tried to move sideways, just a little. But almost immediately she stumbled and fell, so that it was only his grip in her hair that kept her suspended. And, with the sudden downward momentum, her scalp felt like it was literally tearing away. She screamed with pain, but it came out as a choking muffled sound. As if even her voice was being torn in two.