Sticks and Stones (28 page)

Ty gave a full-body shiver as he reached down to finish pulling up his jeans. Zane pulled out one of the individually packaged wet wipes he’d stuck in his back pocket for the next trip to the second tree to the left and worked on cleaning up his fingers and hands. He handed one to Ty as well got a wry smile from his partner.

“Fuck, it’s cold,” Ty breathed with a small laugh as he buttoned his jeans. They could see their breath now in the night.

“At least it’ll explain why we’re flushed,” Zane said.

“Fuck it,” Ty muttered as he made sure his shirt buttons were all straight. “Deuce already knows and to hell with Dad. He can’t think much worse of me,” he declared stubbornly as he reached out to fix Zane’s collar.

Zane stopped still and watched Ty’s eyes as he let Ty fuss. He wanted to say so many things: to call Earl a liar, to tell Ty he was the bravest man he’d ever met. He just didn’t know what Ty would believe in the aftermath of Earl’s words or what he himself had the courage to tell him. It was hard to open your heart to Ty; you never knew if you’d get a sincere response or a joke in return. There were some things Zane wanted to say that just couldn’t be met with a joke, and so he kept them to himself.

“Don’t think about it right now,” he said softly instead.

Ty looked up from his collar and met his eyes for a few seconds. Zane didn’t think he’d ever seen Ty’s eyes more honest than they were in those short moments. They were sad and worried, angry and lost. Haunted. It made Zane wonder just how much of Ty’s carefree attitude was put on all the time, how much baggage he truly carried with him and just never let on about. Zane told himself in that moment to remember this look the next time he wanted to strangle Ty for being an asshole.

Then the moment passed, and Ty’s hazel eyes were clear again as he looked at him. He nodded his head. “Thanks, Zane,” he whispered.

Zane nodded slowly. “Any time.” After a long moment he reached out and let his fingertips trail down Ty’s chest. “I think I’ll go try to sleep while the endorphin rush is keeping the pain somewhat at bay.”

“Good idea,” Ty said softly as he lowered his head and looked away.

“You coming?” Zane asked carefully.

Ty looked back at him, his eyes flickering toward the camp in the distance and back to Zane. He nodded and smiled slightly. “We have a tent all to ourselves,” he informed Zane.

“Was that Deuce’s doing?” Zane asked drily.

“You complaining?” Ty asked with a raised eyebrow.

Zane shook his head. If it were anyone else under any other circumstances, Zane might have held out his hand. But even in his gentlest moods, that wasn’t Ty’s style. Zane slid his hands into his jacket pockets. “C’mon, Grady. I’ll give you the warm spot.”

Ty draped his arm over Zane’s shoulders as they walked. “I’ve trained you well,” he claimed, sounding very pleased with himself.

Zane chuckled. “You do realize the only warm spot in that tent will be under me?”

Ty turned his head to look at him innocently. “And?” he asked with a slight leer.

Zane bumped their hips together as they walked along. “Just saying,” he murmured, trying to hold down the grin that threatened. He wanted to hold onto this warmth and comfort as long as he could. It was a feeling he’d experienced fleetingly after they’d been reunited in DC, one he’d mostly lost in the last few weeks as Ty had drifted away from him. He’d almost given up hope on recovering it until Ty had invited him up to these godforsaken mountains. Maybe the trip wouldn’t be a complete loss if they lived through it.

Ty squeezed his shoulders tightly and then released him, letting his hand slide down Zane’s back as they entered the silent camp.

A long glance showed Redjacket and Earflaps had finally wrangled around enough to rest their heads against the tree—although uncomfortably—and they both appeared to be dozing. Zane had the intense desire to chuck a rock at them and wake them up. He restrained himself, however, and after watching them for several seconds to satisfy himself they were secure, Zane looked to Ty and waved a finger in question toward the tents.

Ty glanced at him before looking back at their prisoners with a deep frown. He looked around the camp, his eyes reflecting the firelight. To Zane he looked haunted as he gazed around the darkness, perhaps seeing other camps and other prisoners from the past.

Zane let him be for a few moments, but then he took a half step in Ty’s direction. “Hey,” he said softly. “Still with me?”

Ty looked back at him and cleared his throat. He met Zane’s eyes and nodded jerkily, and he brought his hand up to his mouth to rub at his bearded chin. “Let’s get warm, huh?” he suggested, jerking his head toward the tent they were supposed to share for the night.

Zane nodded and walked over to the all-weather tent, where he crouched down and unzipped the front with a silent curse. It was difficult for him, seeing Ty like this. Zane didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to relate to what Ty was going through. He glanced over his shoulder before crawling in over the thick sleeping bag that had been tossed on the taped-seam floor of the tent.
His
Ty seemed to be back, for now, and Zane wanted to hold onto him for as long as he could.

Ty remained standing outside the flap of the low tent for a few moments; then he ducked down and crawled in behind Zane. The tent was just high enough for them to be able to sit up. It was made for one person, possibly two who were very friendly, but it was warm inside, out of the wind, and appeared sturdy enough.

Ty zipped the flap up and secured the nylon covers on the mesh windows, making the interior a very small space with both of them in it. Zane wondered if Ty’s issues with dark, enclosed spaces would rear their ugly heads, but Ty didn’t seem fazed as he fussed with trying to get the sleeping bag unzipped while sitting on it.

Zane was sitting up, his head brushing the curved top of the tent, but it was easy enough to twist and get out of his jacket. He figured it would be warm enough with the two of them in there. He folded the jacket and dropped it about where his head would fall when he lay down.

Ty gave up on the zipper and merely sat next to him, his head lowered as he rested his hand on Zane’s knee. He turned his head, looking at Zane out of the corner of his eye. He seemed to be holding his breath. Zane watched him, waiting.

Finally, Ty exhaled heavily and lifted his chin. “They started when Dad picked up that can,” he told Zane in a low voice. “The flashbacks.” Zane watched him closely but didn’t comment. Ty lowered his head again and glanced back furtively at Zane in another nervous gesture. “I’ve only ever done this two or three times,” he said. “Not sure how to handle them.” His voice wavered as he spoke. He cleared his throat and looked away again.

Zane didn’t know what a doctor would technically classify a flashback, but he’d call it pretty close to being awake during a nightmare, himself. Zane knew nightmares. He also knew there was nothing to be said. He didn’t want to hear platitudes after a nightmare; he was sure Ty didn’t need them now. So he waited.

Ty reached down and fiddled with the zipper of the sleeping bag again, fidgeting like he always did when he didn’t know what else to do with himself. “Want to sleep on it or under it?” he finally asked roughly as he plucked at the edge of the thick sleeping bag.

“You’re sleeping on it,” Zane said, reaching out to tug at his arm. “Under me, remember?”

Ty moved with him, turning and reaching out to him to kiss him. Zane paused as their lips touched, pressed, and rasped against several days’ worth of whiskers. It was easy to lift one hand and touch Ty’s cheek gently as he let Ty control the kiss. As far as Zane was concerned, Ty could have whatever the hell he wanted right now.

Ty let his lips linger against Zane’s as he pulled away, and then he pressed his forehead against Zane’s and closed his eyes. “You mentioned a warm spot?” he whispered as he let his fingers curl through Zane’s hair.

Zane hummed a positive note. He reached up to unzip Ty’s jacket, and Ty shrugged out of it obediently. He tugged at Zane’s shoulder, pulling him down on the padded sleeping bag. He pulled his jacket over them both, sliding his hand over Zane’s waist and pulling him closer. The fabric of the jacket smelled overwhelmingly like Ty as the collar fell against Zane’s cheek, and taking a long, slow, deep breath in was reassuring in ways Zane didn’t want to examine too closely. Instead, he subtly shifted his body toward Ty.

“Tell me something,” Zane murmured.

“Anything,” Ty offered in a whisper as he brushed his nose against Zane’s.

Zane’s breath caught, revealing his surprise over Ty’s reply. The sentiment behind the whispered word made his heart beat wildly for a few breaths before he could calm himself. He very certainly didn’t want to ask his question about the flashbacks now. Not after that tender response. He had no idea what to say.

He pulled his arm out from between them to slide it under Ty’s neck, urging Ty closer to his side. “I… I’m here. For you. You know that. Right?” And the shaky words whispered against Ty’s cheek just stuttered to a stop.

Ty was still, the tip of his nose cold against Zane’s cheek as they lay tangled together. “I know,” he assured Zane, the words barely more than breaths against Zane’s lips. “What were you really gonna ask?” he added as his fingertips slid under Zane’s shirt, resting against the skin of his lower back.

Zane huffed and shivered as Ty’s cold fingers hit his warm skin. Ty knew him too well. “What are they like? The flashbacks? Are they anything like when you’re half-awake but still having a nightmare?”

Ty swallowed hard and pushed his head back a little, enough that Zane could just make out his eyes. Ty was looking at him in the darkness. “It’s more like… a feeling,” he tried to explain haltingly. “The feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you’re falling. Like I’m not sure which way is up.”

Zane tightened his arms. “I won’t let you fall.” Then he winced apologetically. Very trite. He sighed. Trite but true.

He could feel Ty holding his breath. Then his partner snorted quietly and bit his lip, trying not to laugh. He tightened his hold on Zane and pressed his nose to Zane’s again. “Thanks, Garrett,” he managed to say, though his voice wavered with the threat of laughter.

“Go ahead and laugh. It was awful, I know,” Zane admitted grudgingly.

“It’s the thought that counts,” Ty tried. He laughed suddenly and then kissed Zane impulsively, getting a smile out of him.

Zane was glad to hear the happy sound, short as it was. He relaxed again, enjoying the slight tremors passing from Ty’s body to his own. “This wasn’t exactly what I thought I’d be doing today,” he murmured after a few moments of merely enjoying the embrace.

“No kidding,” Ty responded wryly. He turned his head and began to burrow his face between Zane’s uninjured cheek and the rolled up coat beneath them, using Zane like he usually used his pillow when they were at home. Zane smiled affectionately as he did it. It was like a puppy rooting through a blanket.

“What’s so different about today?” Ty asked, his voice muffled.

Zane sighed and slowly slid his hand over Ty’s back. “It’s my birthday,” he admitted.

Ty jerked his head back and looked at Zane in shock, pushing up onto his elbow and dislodging the coat that had been keeping them warm. Even in the darkness, his expression was plain to see. “What?” he asked in disbelief.

Zane would have laughed if he didn’t feel so stupid about bringing it up. “My birthday. October fifteenth.”

Ty stared at him for a second before he thumped him hard on the chest, and Zane gasped. “I knew I should have stolen your file!” Ty claimed angrily as he settled back down again, pulling the coat over them both with a yank. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“What was I gonna say? Take me out for dinner, Grady, it’s my birthday,” Zane posed as he rubbed his chest.

“Better than not telling me at all,” Ty said with sincere annoyance.

Zane snorted and shook his head. “See how you feel once you’re past forty. It’s not really something I try to celebrate.”

“How’s that working out?” Ty asked in a wry drawl.

“Well, they keep on coming, so I guess I must be doing something right.” Zane slid his hand down to Ty’s waist and pulled him closer again in order to give his ass a good squeeze.

Ty shook his head, but he didn’t bat Zane’s hand away like he usually did when he was annoyed and Zane tried to grope him. “You should have told me, Zane,” he scolded as he shifted his shoulders, trying to get comfortable in Zane’s arms. “Would have been the perfect excuse to tell Dick we were going to some nice little tropical island instead of coming up here!” he hissed.

“Yeah, all right. Mark your calendar then,” Zane answered with a roll of his eyes. “And you can give me an IOU for this year.”

Ty smiled slowly, a hint of mischief entering his tired eyes for the first time in days. “I could do that, yeah,” he agreed slowly, his tone one that suggested he might have a better idea.

Zane tipped his head to the side as he looked at Ty speculatively. He was never sure whether to be worried or elated when he heard that tone of voice from Ty. “Or?” he prodded.

“The best presents are received in your birthday suit, Zane,” Ty advised in answer. “But we’ll wait ’til we get home to break those out,” he decided as he pressed his nose to Zane’s once more, obviously deciding to forgive him for not telling him about his birthday earlier.

“Sounds like good times,” Zane murmured. He closed his eyes, unable to stop the smile as Ty began to burrow again. He sighed slowly, the warmth of having Ty right up against him actually working to lull him to sleep as his mind worked over the things Ty had told him. He couldn’t imagine the kinds of things Ty had seen, the kinds of things he must have been reliving to evoke that look he’d had in his eyes earlier. He supposed when you got right down to it he didn’t really know much about Ty at all. The few experiences they did have with each other that extended beyond the bedroom weren’t what Zane would call personal. It seemed like there were more bad memories between them than good.