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Authors: J. B. Stanley

Tags: #mystery, #cozy, #fiction, #supper club

Stiffs and Swine (28 page)

BOOK: Stiffs and Swine
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As soon as Gillian moved off, Harding turned back to Mitch. The deputy’s grin evaporated like morning mist and he didn’t bother with courtesies. Giving James a stern look that garnered no argument, Harding knelt beside Mitch. “If you’d step away, Mr. Henry and Ms. Hanover, I believe we’ve got it from here.”

Lucy began to splutter in such loud indignation that James feared he’d have to replace her duct tape before she said anything she’d regret. However, Harding was too busy barking codes into his radio to pay her any mind.

“Is he dead?” Gillian asked with trepidation from her seat on the stump.

“Mitch? Not yet,” Lucy answered. “Sounds like he’s got a busted lung. Guess it’s up to the medical folks now.”

Handing each of her friends a glass bottle of chilled green tea from her hemp purse, Gillian sighed. “I’m glad he has a chance to live. There’s been enough death at this festival. Memories of it and the real thing. I’d rather focus on life.”

James and Lucy joined her on the fallen tree and drank deeply from their tea bottles. The friends grew reflective over the ups and downs of their long weekend in Hudsonville.

“I am very proud to be your friend,” Gillian said, breaking the silence. Her eyes shone with tears. “You saved the day.”

“It was mostly Bob’s doing, to be honest,” James stated and then listened as Harding received a burst of information over his radio. “Without really thinking things through, we just worked together to help one another.”

Gillian sighed in contentment. “
That
is
exactly
how we should live
every
moment of our lives. Perhaps I was meant to come to this event in order to remember that lesson.” She smiled as Harding came toward her, and she wiped the tears from her cheeks and unconsciously began to fluff her hair. “And to learn some new ones.”

On Monday morning,
James once again found himself seated at a table across from Deputy Harding. It was five past nine and the rest of supper club members had just completed signing what they all hoped would be their final statements for the Hudsonville County Sheriff’s Department. However, Sheriff Jones reminded them several times that some or all of them would likely be called to testify in court, should Mitch Walker refuse to fully confess to his crimes.

“How is he doing?” James asked the deputy once he had added his signature to the typewritten statement and stood.

Harding shrugged. “He isn’t feeling too great, but he’s going to be fit enough to have to answer a mess of questions in a day or two.”

Sheriff Jones waited for James and Harding in the hallway. “I know you all have to get back to Quincy’s Gap,” she began, “but after speaking with Ms. Hanover about her goal to build muscle, Deputy Neely was inspired to make protein smoothies for everyone. Your friends have agreed to our refreshments, so we hope you will linger for a moment with us as well.”

The conference room in the sheriff’s department felt packed to capacity. Not only were Lindy, Bennett, Lucy, and Gillian standing inside the room holding Styrofoam tumblers, but Bob Barker, Hailey, and Felicity were there as well. Scattered here and there, in their brown and khaki uniforms, were men and women from the department, sipping smoothies or helping to bring refills in from the kitchen. As soon as James entered the crowded room, Lucy put a cup in his hands.

“It’s a berry smoothie,” she explained. “Deputy Neely is interested in trying the protein diet I’ve been following.” She frowned. “Not that I’ve stuck to it over the last few days, but I’m going back on, starting today.”

James took a hesitant sip of thick, pink liquid. It tasted like creamy sherbet. “This is too tasty to be healthy. What’s in it?”

“Fresh blueberries, bananas, strawberries, raspberry-flavored frozen yogurt, whey protein, and some fruit juice,” Lucy answered. “Even though Eleanor let us stay an extra night at Fox Hall, I knew we were going to have an early start today, so I thought it would be nice to wake up and have a good source of energy.”

James dropped into a seat next to Gillian, who was sliding a raffle ticket across the table to Felicity. “This is for you, my dear.”

Felicity looked surprised. “What is it?”

Lindy swooped over from where she was arranging a tray of smoothies and grabbed the ticket. “Gillian!
You
have the winning ticket?” She waved the stub in her right hand. “This is for a brand new RV from R. C.’s company! That’s so cool!”

Gillian shook her head. “It’s my
partner’s
new camper.” She gazed fondly at Felicity. “You’re going to need this when you take the Yuppie Puppy obedience classes on the road. I’ve already been in touch with two other grooming facilities, and they’d like you to run training classes for their clients as well. I can’t have one of my employees sleeping out of a tent. How would that make me look?” She fluffed her hair and shot a flirtatious look at Harding. “Not that I don’t
personally
revel in nights spent beneath the moon, with the open air breathing across my
naked
skin, but you’ve got to regain your professional footing. This is a start on that journey.”

Felicity stared at the raffle ticket, which Lindy had placed reverently in front of the dog trainer’s folded hands. “Gillian. This is much too generous.”

“You and I were meant to meet this weekend,” Gillian told Felicity, her voice trembling with emotion. “Because of your kindness, you sheltered two lost and frightened women. Your destiny came full circle when you aided the girlfriend of the man who tried to ruin you. Now, karma and I shall join together to show you that you are worthy of great success and happiness.” She dabbed at her moist eyes with a tissue. “Besides, I can’t
wait to
see the Yuppie Puppy’s logo painted on that camper. There’s
nothing
more thrilling for me than to venture into new entrepreneurial territory. And don’t worry about R. C.; I’ve already called to tell him that you possess the winning ticket.”

“Thank you, Gillian,” Felicity whispered gratefully. “I can’t wait to relocate to Quincy’s Gap. From all that you’ve told me, it must be a charming town.”

“You got that right!” Bennett declared. “And we’ve got the best diner in the Valley,” he added. “Dolly’s. We’re talking
real
homemade cookin’. Dolly’s serves a meatloaf so tender that you wanna cry, with a side of mashed potatoes so smooth you’d think they were mixed with cream from heaven, and a pile of butter beans that pop in your mouth with a shout of hallelujah! If you like that kind of grub, then you’ll be glad you moved.”

Sheriff Jones strode over to Bennett’s side. “Did you say Dolly’s Diner?”

“Yes, ma’am, I did.”

“I ate there a few years ago when I was passing through Quincy’s Gap, and I can still remember that establishment’s homemade pecan pie.” The lovely lawwoman rolled her eyes at the memory. “What I wouldn’t give to have some of Dolly’s coffee and pie.”

“Well, when all this mess is straightened out, I’d sure love to invite you to be my guest for pie and coffee.” Bennett shifted nervously. “And maybe some dinner before dessert?”

Allowing herself a small smile, the sheriff nodded. “I’d enjoy that, Mr. Marshall.”

“There’s one condition, though,” Bennett added with a nervous cough.

The sheriff looked intrigued. “A condition? What might that be?”

“I might need you to quiz me on some trivia durin’ our date. See, I’m takin’ the test to be a contestant on
Jeopardy!
and I’ve only got two weeks left to prepare. Every wakin’ moment has got to be filled with facts and statistics.” He cleared his throat. “Is that a complete turnoff, uh, Ms. Jones?” He said her name with a breathless whisper.

Her smile grew larger. “Oh, quite the opposite, Mr. Marshall. Quite the opposite.” Trailing a finger seductively across his chest, the sheriff left the room.

Bennett sank into the nearest chair. “I do believe that woman just set me on fire.”

Giggling, Lindy handed him another smoothie. “That is
exactly
how I feel every time I see my Luis.” She checked her watch. “I can’t wait to get back home and tell him all about our adventures!”

At that moment, two gentlemen dressed in light gray suits entered the room. They shook hands with the deputies and made their way toward Hailey, who was leaning against one of the back walls as Bob shared his barbecued salmon grilling techniques with Harding.

Instinctively, James and his friends grew silent. With the exception of Gillian, who hadn’t been on Fox Hall’s back porch the day the rest of them had met Jimmy Lang, the supper club members all recognized the businessmen as the representatives for Heartland Foods. Even though they had been wearing polo shirts and khakis during lunch that day, the small heart pins attached to their suits easily identified them. They had worn those same pins on their shirt collars as they dined at Fox Hall.

“Uh, Ms. Lang?” the first man asked as he approached Hailey.

“My name’s Hailey Mellon. Jimmy and I never got hitched, so you don’t have to lay his name on me, thank you.”

The man stuck out his hand. “My name’s Dan Bicknell, and I’m here to congratulate you on winning the title of Hog Fest Barbecue Champion.”

Hailey, who was modestly dressed for the first time since James had met her—in a white, scoop-neck T-shirt that covered her ample cleavage and a long, blue skirt of crinkled cotton—smiled at the two men. “You must’ve nearly fell over when you realized that y’all were gonna have to offer that contract to a woman.”

“And a fine looking woman at that,” the second man said, trying to sound as though he hadn’t been floored by the announcement that the winner was female.

“Just don’t look her over too closely,” Bob pretended to protest. “This is my future wife you’re talkin’ to here.”

James noticed that Hailey was wearing her engagement ring. In fact, she raised her left hand and proudly wiggled the piece of jewelry so that the light caused it to twinkle like dozens of tiny mirrors.

The two men from Heartland Foods exchanged relieved looks. “Ms. Mellon? This might seem like an unusual question, but will you be taking your husband’s name when you get married?”

Hailey shrugged. “Hadn’t thought about it, but since I’ve never had a man offer his name to me before, I think I sure will become Mrs. Bob Barker.” She smiled adoringly at Bob. “I’ve never had a man do all the things you’ve done for me, darlin’.”

Mr. Bicknell grinned at the pair. “Seeing as how you two are going to be starting a new life together, how do you feel about being the
joint
faces of Heartland Foods barbecue line?”

“Kind of like the First Couple of Barbecue,” the second added quickly, his eyes shining with excitement. “I can almost see the labels on our sauces and rubs. Both of you, wearing denim overalls and standing in front of a cooker with a slab of glistening ribs grilling over a low flame.”

Hailey grabbed Bob’s hand. “I’d love it. We gonna do everythin’ as a team from now on. And I’m not going back to Texas—not ever—so you can reach me usin’ Bob’s number from now on.”

“Don’t you have things there you want?” Bob seemed surprised by Hailey’s proclamation.

“Nope. The ’partment lease runs out this month, and all I care about is my gran’s quilt and my photo albums. The landlady will send ’em to me if I let her sell all our junk. She’s a good soul.”

Bob shrugged and then licked his lips greedily. “What about Jimmy’s new RV?”

Hailey waved him off. “I’ve already gotten rid of that. Now, I know you liked that big, fancy camper, Bob, but that thang gives me the creeps. Jimmy
died
in there, ’member?” She stroked her fiancé’s shoulder. “We got a world of riches, baby. We got the cash prize from the contest, this here contract, and each other. We’ve got everythin’ I’d ever dreamed of.”

Confused by the exchange between Hailey and Bob, Mr. Bicknell turned to Harding. “We’ve got a flight to catch, Deputy. Do you think we could speak to these folks in private before we go? We’ve got contracts and such for them to see,” he added as though the legal paperwork was something distasteful. “Do you have a room we could use?”

“Sure thing. Follow me, everyone.”

As Hailey passed by James, she hugged him briefly and whispered an emotional thank-you in his ear. “Bob couldn’t have saved me without your help. You’re the hero that was backin’ up my hero.” She pressed something into James’s hand. “A sweet lil’ orange-haired birdie told me you might spread some good with this. I sure hope so. Bless you, James Henry.”

Hailey then proceeded to hug, kiss, and bless the rest of the supper club members. In a much more reserved fashion, Bob shook everyone’s hands, promised that they’d all be invited to his and Hailey’s wedding next spring, and then followed Mr. Bicknell and his partner from the room.

James finished the last slurp of his smoothie and dropped his cup in the trash. He unfolded the thin, pink piece of paper crumpled in his left hand. It was the title to Jimmy’s trailer, which had been registered in both Jimmy and Hailey’s name. Using a round, bubbly script, Hailey had signed it over to the Shenandoah County Public Library. On the line identifying the sale price, Hailey had carefully penned “charitable donation.”

Speechless, James gaped and stared at Gillian’s orange hair. Finally, he bent over and waved the title under her nose. “Do you … ? How did you … ?”

BOOK: Stiffs and Swine
8.49Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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