Still the One (35 page)

Gracie:
I’m jealous. I can’t fit into anything but yoga pants. My belly is gi-normous.

Megan:
How’s the baby?

Gracie:
OK. The placenta’s still low, though.

Megan:
Bummer. Gotta go. Jana’s here.

Gracie:
Have fun!

Gracie closed her phone and rolled over on the bed, fat tears plopping down her cheeks. She wished she could wear cute clothes
and look forward to things like the homecoming dance. She wished she could go to the mall and hang out with other kids and
just have a normal life.

It wasn’t fair, how completely one bad decision had changed everything. She wished she could get a do-over. She wished she’d
never gone to that guy’s truck or never gone to that stupid concert at all. She wished like crazy she wasn’t pregnant.

Guilt soaked through her. What kind of expectant mother had thoughts like that? She was going to be a lousy mother. What if
she couldn’t love the baby? What if she hated it? What if all she felt for it was shame and loathing, like she felt about
herself when she thought about the night she conceived? She grabbed her pillow, hugged it tight, and cried.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay here,” Annette said as she limped into Zack’s house a week later. Zack followed behind
her, carrying her and Katie’s suitcases. Annette was still using the cane, but she was walking without holding on to anyone.
“I hate to be in your way.”

“You won’t be in the way,” Zack said. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. As long as Annette was in the house, he was pretty sure
Katie wasn’t going to visit the garage apartment. But that was a sacrifice he’d willingly make; he was glad just to have Katie
back in the house. During the past week while she’d been in Baton Rouge, he’d missed her more than he’d known he could miss
anyone.

“I tried to tell Katie that I’m perfectly capable of staying on my own at Dave’s place, but she wouldn’t hear of it.”

“We’ve already settled this,” Katie said firmly. “You were just released from therapy this week. It’s not a good idea for
you to be staying alone yet.”

“When Kate makes up her mind about something, there’s no point in trying to change it,” Zack said.

“Isn’t that the truth. My son used to say that she could out-stubborn a rock.”

The mention of Katie’s husband made Zack’s chest tighten. He placed Annnette’s suitcase on a chair by the window. “We’d like
Dave to come stay here, too, when he gets out of Sunnyside,” he said. Dave had been discharged from the Baton Rouge hospital
on the condition that he stay in the facility’s rehabilitation wing for another two weeks.

Annette smiled. “That’s very sweet. But by then, I’ll be more than strong enough to care for him.”

“So you’re going to stay in Chartreuse for good?” Gracie asked. Her mouth was purple from licking a grape Dum-Dum. The girl
was trying to act indifferent, but she wasn’t fooling anyone. She was clearly thrilled to have Katie and Annette back. She’d
been bouncing around all afternoon, helping get the place ready for their arrival, and now she was glued to the two women’s
sides.

Zack was glad to see it. Gracie had been glum and morose and unnaturally silent lately. He had a feeling she was having a
hard time at school, but she refused to talk about it.

“Dave and I haven’t had a chance to really discuss our plans yet,” Annette said.

“But you might stay,” Gracie persisted.

“It’s possible.”

“Awesome!” Gracie gave a big purple grin.

“Totally awesome,” Katie said, smiling just as wide.

Zack had talked to Katie daily, and she’d told him that Annette had had a complete change of heart where Dave was concerned.
“Those two belong together,” Katie had said. “Neither one has really been happy since they’ve been apart.”

After a week without Katie, Zack was beginning to know how they felt.

Katie was curled under the green-checked comforter reading a romance novel when she heard a knock on the door. “Come in,”
she called.

Gracie opened the door.

Katie put down the book, delighted at the unexpected visit. She had texted and called Gracie while she was in Baton Rouge,
but she’d really missed the girl. “Come in!” She patted the bed beside her. “Sit down. How are you doing?”

She shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

“What’s on your mind?”

Gracie sat on the bed. “Well, I’ve been thinking.”

“Yes?”

“Next time I go to the doctor, I think I want to know the sex of the baby after all.”

Katie smiled. “So you can pick a name and clothes and stuff?”

“Sorta. But more because I don’t like the idea of the doctor knowing something about my baby that I don’t know. It seems dumb
to be deliberately ignorant.” She looked at Katie. “What do you think?”

It was the first time she recalled Gracie actually asking her opinion about anything. Katie considered the question thoughtfully.
“I think it’s a personal choice, and it’s entirely up to you.”

“Did you know my sex when you were pregnant with me?”

Katie’s throat grew thick. “No. The doctor said I was better off not knowing. He said it would only make me more attached,
and that would make it harder for me to do what was best for you.”

Silence loomed between them for a long moment.

“Do you think giving my baby away would be best for him or her?”

It was the second time Gracie had asked her that question, so it must really be weighing on her. Katie answered straight from
the heart. “No.”

“Why not? I’m the same age you were.”

“But you have resources I didn’t have. You have Zack and me. You’ll be able to get an education and afford child care.” Katie
hesitated, then decided to just go ahead and say what had been on her heart for months. “Gracie, sweetheart, if you don’t
feel ready for motherhood, I would be honored to raise your baby.”

“No.” She shook her head, her mouth tight. “No way. It’s
my
baby.”

“I understand.” Katie lifted her hands. “Totally. I just wanted to lay that out as an option. I also want you to know that
I’ll be here to help in any capacity you want or need.”

“I don’t intend to lean on you.”

“I admire your independent spirit. But I’m here, and I’ll be happy to babysit if you want a night out or anything.”

“Okay.”

Gracie looked down at the comforter and traced one of the green squares with her finger. “My mom said you picked out my name.”

“Yes.”

“Why did you name me Grace?”

Katie grinned. “Because you were amazing. Why else?”

“Seriously.”

“Because it’s such a beautiful word. It means God’s unmerited favor. In other words, love without any strings. It’s affection
and forgiveness and protection and beauty, all wrapped up together—and we don’t have to do anything to earn it. He gives it
to us regardless of how badly we behave.” She grinned. “That concept seemed like the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard.”

Gracie sat very still for a moment. “What were you going to name me if I was a boy?”

“Joseph. I thought that he must have been the best man who had ever been born, if God trusted him to be Jesus’ earth dad.
Plus he listened to his dreams. He was thinking he shouldn’t marry Mary when he found out she was pregnant, but he had a dream
where an angel told him to go ahead and take her as his wife, so he did.” Katie smiled at Gracie. “I think that’s a good example
of listening to your heart.”

“Yeah.” Gracie looked at her thoughtfully for moment. “If I have a boy, maybe I’ll name him Joseph, too.”

A moment of harmony pulsed between them. “Is school going okay?” Katie ventured.

Gracie’s face shut down. “It sucks.”

“High school is hard enough when you’re not new or pregnant. I think you were really brave to decide to attend for a semester.”

“I have to, in order to do the chemistry and biology labs.”

“Still, I think it’s brave. And if you ever want to talk about any problems you’re having with the other kids or anything…”

“No.” Gracie stood up. “When I’m not there, I don’t like to think about it.”

“Okay, sweetie.”

Gracie went to the door. “Good night.”

“Good night.” Katie watched the door close, then dipped her head and closed her eyes.
Please, God—be with Gracie and her baby. And help me to be the mother you want her to have.

Four nights later, Zack headed up to the garage apartment to watch a Saints game on TV. At halftime he decided to go to the
house for some ice cream. He’d just walked in and was reaching for the kitchen light switch when he heard Katie and Annette
talking through the open master bedroom door.

“You’ve never told me anything about Zack’s family,” Annette was saying.

“He’s an only child,” Katie said. “His mother’s dead, and his father… well, they don’t stay in touch.”

“What’s the situation?”

“Well, Zack didn’t come from a very nurturing environment.”

That was putting it mildly. Zack stood in the dark and shamelessly listened.

“His parents had a horrible marriage, with lots of quarrels and jealousy and anger and accusations,” Katie continued. “That
anger spilled onto Zack. They’d yell at him and sometimes hit him for not much more than being there. Afterward, they’d try
to make nice by telling him they loved him, and they’d coerce him into saying it back to them.”

“Oh, dear.”

“He always felt unwanted, and as it turns out, he was.” She paused. “One time he overheard his father accuse his mother of
trapping him into marriage by getting pregnant.”

Annette made a tsking sound. “That kind of home life leaves scars on children. I saw it when I used to teach. ” Annette paused.
“When a kid feels unwanted, it makes it hard for them to ever form close relationships.”

Katie murmured something he couldn’t make out.

“Be careful, Katie,” Annette said. “You and Paul had such a special love. I’d hate to see you settle for anything less.”

Katie’s response was too soft for him to hear. Zack’s throat tightened. Was Annette right? Was he damaged goods?

Too damaged to be good for Katie?

“I’d better let you get some sleep,” he heard Katie say. He heard the master bedroom door squeak all the way open.

Deciding he didn’t really want any ice cream after all, Zack turned and headed back to the garage, pulling the kitchen door
quietly shut behind him.

The second week in October, the heat temporarily broke. The day Dave came home from Sunnyside wasn’t cool, exactly, but it
lacked the oppressive humidity that had lasted all summer. Katie and Zack picked him up and drove him to his little ranch
house, where Annette was already waiting.

“Are you sure you two are going to be all right?” Katie asked. She looked at Dave, leaning back in the new leather recliner
she’d helped Annette pick out four days ago, then at Annette, sitting beside him in a matching chair.

“We’re great,” Annette said.

They looked so cute in their matching recliners that Katie’s eyes misted.

“Anything we can get you?” Zack asked. “Need us to run any errands or bring you dinner?”

“I think everyone in town has brought us a casserole,” Annette said. “We’ve got meals for a month or more.”

“I’ll be checking in every day, “ Katie said. “And you know we’re just a phone call away.”

“I know,” Dave piped up. “And if she doesn’t treat me right, believe me, I’ll be calling.” Dave shot Annette a wink.

Annette rolled her eyes.

Katie exchanged a grin with Zack, then smiled at Annette. “Looks like you’re going to have your hands full. I feel for you.”

“What about me?” Dave asked. “Don’t I get any sympathy?”

The man was making an amazing recovery. His color was good, his appetite was returning, and he was walking more and more each
day. “You get no sympathy at all, buster,” Annette said, shaking her head. “Waiting eleven months to have surgery and not
telling a soul you even needed it!”

There was a lot of love behind Annette’s scolding, and judging from the grin on his face, Dave knew it. More than Dave’s arteries
and Annette’s leg had done a lot of healing over the last couple of months. “I think you’re both in wonderful hands,” Katie
said softly.

Dave and Annette smiled at each other. It was pretty obvious they thought so, too.

As soon as Katie and Zack climbed into Zack’s car in the driveway, he leaned over and kissed her. “I’ve missed you.”

“Likewise.” While Annette had been staying with them, Katie had kept her distance from Zack, not wanting to make her mother-in-law
uncomfortable.

He lifted a strand of her hair and looked at her in a way that made little tendrils of emotion unfurl inside her. “How about
coming up to the garage tonight?”

She gazed into his blue eyes and responded to his irresistible smile with one of her own. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Gracie:
It’s a girl! I found out the baby’s a girl!

Megan:
Cool. Got a name?

Gracie:
Not yet. But I’ve got lots of name books, and I’m picking out clothes and furniture and junk.

Megan:
Where will U live after U have the baby?

Gracie:
Not sure. With Katie for a while, I guess. She’s rebuilding her house with 2 bedrooms right together and one will be a nursery.
Whatzup with U?

Megan:
Callie’s throwing a big Halloween party. I’m going as a sexy witch.

Longing punched Gracie’s gut, harder than the baby’s kicks. Halloween had always been her favorite holiday.

Gracie:
I could go as the Great Pumpkin, and I wouldn’t even need a costume.

Megan:
LOL. My mom thinks my costume’s 2 skimpy, but I think it’s hot.

Tears beaded in Gracie’s eyes. Her stomach was so enormous that her belly button had turned into an outie. She wondered if
she’d ever look hot again. Megan didn’t realize how lucky she was.

Gracie:
Guess you’re getting pumped about your ski trip.