Stitches and Scars (5 page)

Chapter 5

Impasse

E
than walked out of Rain feeling more confused than when he’d entered. He couldn’t believe she was there.
After he’d left the gallery last night, he wondered if he would ever see her again, and now she was in the building that he’d just walked
out
of. He debated about whether he should just go back inside, but knew he couldn’t. He had to get to the hospital.

It took all of his strength to keep his legs moving away from
her
. He laughed at his luck. Twice he’d bumped into the most amazing girl he’d ever met, and twice he’d been called away from her
.

Over the past twenty-four hours, Ethan had replayed their meeting over in his mind numerous times. He could still see her standing there in the gallery. She immediately caught his eye with her fair skin against the darkness of her deep blue dress, and the way her hair framed her face and brushed her bare back. And then, after speaking with her and looking into her deep brown eyes, Ethan knew he didn’t want to leave her side.

Their conversation, though short, left him wanting to know everything about her. And there was something else—something he’d had never felt before. He didn’t know how to describe it, but it was powerful. Up until tonight, he thought that maybe he’d been imagining the whole thing.

But then he saw her tonight, and she was just as beautiful as he’d imagined. She was talking to another man and Ethan knew he should wait until she was finished. Then he watched as the man angrily grabbed her and pulled her close. Ethan wasn’t prepared for the feelings that stirred inside of him, and before he knew it, he was walking towards them.

Not sure how she would react, he looked at her tentatively, waiting for a sign that she was comfortable with his actions. To his relief, she’d followed along and went to his side. He took it upon himself to tell the asshole he could get lost, and then he spent the next few minutes talking with the photographer he never expected to see again. Just like the previous night, he felt an indescribable pull toward her and just like before, it left him feeling more confused than ever.

The sound of Ethan’s phone beeping broke his train of thought. He didn’t have to look to see who the text was from. Trent, his best friend, had just gotten a new phone and was obsessed with the new keypad feature.

Hey bro. Sorry I’m running late. On my way.

Crap, I forgot to call Trent
, Ethan thought, quickly dialing his number in the hope that he would catch him before he got to the club. The phone rang at least five times before he picked up. Ethan could easily picture his friend cursing his new gadget, trying to figure out how to work it. When he finally did answer, all he could hear was yelling.

“Ah, damn! Hold on, Ethan. I just dropped the phone.” There was fumbling and cursing on the other end, and Ethan laughed under his breath. “Sorry. I’m still trying to figure this thing out. It doesn’t help that the phone is so damn small I can barely push the buttons. They should really make them a little larger.”

“Trent, in the cell phone world, smaller is considered better.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled. “How come you’re calling me? I thought we were meeting at Rain?”

“That’s why I’m calling.” Ethan braced himself for his friend’s reaction. “I just got a call from work.”

“Come on, man! I thought you were clear for tonight. It’s been way too long and we need to get out and meet some girls.”

“Trent—”

“I know what you’re going to say. You
technically
already have a girlfriend. But you know as well as I do that it’s going nowhere. Plus, aren’t you dropping her tomorrow?”

“Tactful, Trent, very tactful. You could be a little nicer about it.”

“What? She’s no good, Ethan, and you know it.”

Ethan thought about what Trent had said and knew he was right. He and Cindy had been dating for almost three months, and he’d recently realized it was going nowhere. She was too controlling and obsessive when it came to their relationship. If Cindy had it her way, they would be moving in together, picking out rings, and setting a wedding date. Three things which were far from Ethan’s mind, especially with her.

“All right,” Ethan admitted. “You’re right about the ‘not going anywhere’ comment. And yes, I am planning on talking with her tomorrow.”

“Then what’s the hold up?”

“There isn’t one, really. I just don’t want to dive into another relationship right away. Can’t I be friends with someone and then see what happens?”

“Dude, you sound like I’m telling you to go get a wife. I’m just trying to get you laid.” Trent laughed.

“I think I can take care of myself in that department. And I haven’t needed your help since high school, if I remember correctly.”

“Wait a minute, I totally hooked you up with that girl sophomore year at college. What was her name … Susan, Susan King.”

“Clark. Her last name was Clark. And I would hardly consider introducing me to her hooking me up. Plus, I would have asked her out on my own.”

“True, but you did meet her at my party. Therefore I still had a hand in it,” Trent bragged.

“I can’t argue with you there. Now, are we done talking about my relationships? I’m almost to the hospital.”

“Yeah, I’m done, for now,” he teased. “Are you on for tomorrow night?”

“Um, tomorrow is Sunday, right?” Ethan mentally flipped through his calendar. “Yeah, I only work the morning shift. I’ll be done by late afternoon. But I have to talk to Cindy tomorrow night or it’s going to drag on for another week.”

Trent couldn’t hide the amusement in his voice. “She’s still avoiding you, huh?”

“I swear she knows it’s coming. Every time I try to get together with her to talk, she comes up with some excuse and then another week goes by and we’re still together.”

“You want me to call her?”

Ethan knew that Trent was probably teasing, but he also knew him well enough to know that he
would
do something like that. “No, I can take care of it. And I’m not doing it over the phone.”

“Why not? It’s easier that way. You avoid the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me thing.’ And you don’t have to deal with the tears. Trust me on this one. Tears are no good.”

Ethan laughed at his friend’s view of relationships. As a player for the NFL, Trent got his fair share of girls. All of them attractive and all of them dumb as doorknobs. He never dated anyone longer than a month, and it didn’t bother him. As far as he was concerned, he was going to be a bachelor for life. Ethan, however, knew him well enough to know different. He just hadn’t found a girl strong enough to match him.

“I don’t think doing this over the phone would be the best thing. I know Cindy well enough to know that if I told her over the phone, she wouldn’t believe it. She would show up the next day like nothing had ever happened and play dumb.” Hearing the words come out of his mouth made Ethan realize just how bad the situation had gotten.

“Man, she is nuts. The sooner you end it, the better. All right, so you go out with her after work. Dump her crazy ass, and then we can meet up afterwards. Sound good?”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “Sounds good. I’ll call you later and let you know what time.”

He hung up the phone still laughing at Trent’s tactless use of words. He was never one for buffering his true feelings. He was right about Cindy being nuts, though. Breaking up with her wasn’t going to be an easy thing and Ethan knew it. But it had to be done, especially after meeting Kate.

Kate.
Just the thought of her name made his blood pulse faster. Ethan knew the moment he saw her that he wanted to ask her out, but he also knew he couldn’t. It wasn’t the right thing to do. He needed to have all ties broken with Cindy before he acted on anything. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them, and Cindy, although overbearing and obsessive, deserved better.

His only fear was that he’d lost his chance. That he’d never see Kate again. He had never been one to believe in fate, but there was no denying that fate was indeed involved. It was what brought them together again tonight. Now all he could do was wait and see if fate would intervene again.

***

It was late and the halls of the hospital were empty when Ethan arrived.
Why did Henry call me if it was so slow? And where is he anyway?
he wondered. Just as he reached for his phone, Henry walked around the corner.

“There you are, Ethan. I was beginning to wonder if you were still coming.” As Henry walked closer, Ethan got a better look at his face. He knew that Henry had been working a double shift, but his eyes were alert and focused, something that only came with years of experience.

“Sorry, I got held up on the phone. Your son was giving me advice on women again.” Ethan laughed.

“Please tell me you didn’t take any of it. Out of the two of you,
he
is the one in need of relationship advice.”

“Oh, believe me,
I
know that. He’s just looking out for me.”

“Always the protective brother.” Henry wrapped his arm around Ethan’s shoulder. “I’m really glad you two have each other. It’s always made Lori and me glad knowing that, even though we couldn’t give Trent a sibling, he never really missed out on having one.” He gave Ethan’s shoulder a quick squeeze before stepping back and handing over his charts. “You told me to inform you if Mr. Bennett took a turn for the worse. I could have explained this to you over the phone, but I knew you would want to be here anyway.”

“Of course. How is he?” Ethan’s current mood shifted from happy to concerned at the thought of his patient, his friend. He took the chart from Henry and looked over his notes.

“We aren’t expecting him to make it that much longer. We’re keeping him comfortable, though. He keeps asking for you. The tough old man seems determined not to rest until he sees you.”

“He can be that way sometimes,” Ethan said, shaking his head disapprovingly. “I better get going. I’m sure he’s tired.” He turned away from Henry and headed over to the elevator.

“Ethan.” Henry’s voice stopped him in his tracks. “Let me know if you need to talk. I know it can be hard, losing someone you’ve grown attached to.”

“Thanks.” Ethan felt the emotions churning inside him as he stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor.

Mr. Bennett was one of the first patients Ethan saw four years ago when he first moved to Philadelphia. He was doing his ER rotation, and Mr. Bennett came in complaining of a persistent cough and difficulty breathing. After numerous tests, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. Ethan referred him to an oncologist, and he began his treatment.

His wife of forty years never left his side, and Ethan clearly remembered thinking that she was the strongest woman he’d ever met. She often said to him, “You do whatever it takes to be with the one you love.” Ethan had never experienced that kind of love before, but he was sure she was right. She stood by her husband’s side while he went through chemotherapy and had numerous surgeries to remove the tumors.

During the man’s recovery, Ethan paid him visits, often sitting for hours. Mr. Bennett had been a music teacher, which was one of Ethan’s many interests. He’d often bring in recordings of his favorite pieces or an album from a new band he’d recently discovered. They’d discuss the universal world of music and the ways it had changed over time. After a few months, his oncologist said that he was in remission and he could go home to be with his family.

About six months ago, his wife, Dorothy, passed away, and Mr. Bennett ended up back in the hospital. This time the cancer was back and it had already spread to his lymph nodes and liver. With his wife not beside him, it seemed as though he’d given up. Ethan remembered feeling so angry and upset that he wasn’t fighting. Two weeks ago, he went to visit him and told him how he felt.

“You’re giving up,” Ethan told him. “Do you really think Dorothy would have wanted that?”

Mr. Bennett looked at him and smiled. “I’m not giving up, kid. Do you realize that the sooner I’m out of this body, the sooner I’ll be with her? This has been the worst six months of my life, and I’m ready to be with her again. Part of me went missing when she left, and I know I can’t feel whole again unless I have her near me.”

That short conversation had been the thing to make Ethan realize what he wanted. He wanted to love a woman like that. He wanted to ache when she wasn’t near him. He wanted to feel like he was only whole when he was with her. He didn’t feel that way about Cindy and that wasn’t fair to her or to himself.

The elevator doors opened with a ping, and Ethan’s mind returned to the present. He began the long walk down the sterile hall until he reached Mr. Bennett’s room. Knowing that he wouldn’t want sympathy or a sad face, Ethan mustered up the best smile he could and walked though his door.

“Hey, there, kid.” Mr. Bennett opened one eye and peered at Ethan.

“Hi, Mr. Bennett. I would ask how you’re doing today, but I’m sure you would say what you always do.”