Authors: Jim Dodge
The first day Daniel disguised himself as a window washer, renting a van and equipment. As he began washing the windows of the restaurant, Jean emerged, laughing, and told him that most professionals used some sort of detergent in the water since it seemed to get the windows cleaner.
The second day he joined a group of winos huddled in a doorway. As he passed by, Jean put a quarter in his hand and whispered, ‘It would have been a twenty if you’d fooled me.’
That night, Daniel had a brainstorm. He would disguise himself as the one person Jean might not expect, might not even recognize: He would disguise himself as Jean Bluer.
Daniel left early for the studio next morning, still excited by his plan. There were very few people on the street. An old black man, so drunk he’d entered another dimension, lurched past with his eyes rolled back in his head. A sturdy Ukrainian woman stood at the bus-stop. A sawed-off, pot-bellied army sergeant carrying a duffel bag fumed by, muttering to himself, ‘Fuckin’ reveille motherfucker and no fuckin’ sleep –
fuck
the fuckin’ army!’ Daniel hurried on.
Daniel crossed the kitchen toward the large dressing room where he usually changed into a jock and sweatpants for Tao Do Chaung. Volta was standing at one of the mirrored makeup tables, idly examining a color chart. The moment Daniel saw him he realized he’d just passed Jean Bluer on the street, and that he would most likely never see him again. It was an appropriate farewell.
Volta glanced up. ‘Daniel, how have you been?’
Daniel said, ‘Was that fat sergeant I just passed on the street Jean Bluer?’
‘It was indeed. Jean’s talents are required elsewhere. Not an emergency exactly, but a
pressing concern
, you understand. Your work here is through.’
‘Not quite,’ Daniel said, shifting his center of gravity into the Tao Do Chaung stance known as the Wounded Crane and simultaneously unleashing a flawless Do Rah Ran, a powerful side kick that swept Volta’s feet out from under him.
Volta, however, controlled his fall, tucking himself midair and rolling on his shoulder as he hit. He was on his feet instantly and assumed the .38 Colt Python stance, the front bead locked on Daniel’s navel. ‘Don’t make me defend myself,’ he said calmly. ‘I’m no match for your youth. I’d have to shoot you.’
Daniel said with certainty, ‘You wouldn’t kill me.’
‘I didn’t say I’d
kill
you; I said I’d
shoot
you. In fact, since the gun is full of snake-loads – birdshot instead of a bullet – I doubt if I
could
kill you, but I could probably perforate about a half mile of small intestine, which would slow you down enough to make it a fair fight.’
‘No,’ Daniel said in the same implacably certain tone, ‘you wouldn’t do that either.’
Volta shrugged. ‘You’re right.’ He released the hammer and tossed the pistol to Daniel.
Startled, Daniel grabbed awkwardly.
While he was still fumbling, Volta started talking. ‘What are you so ferociously peeved about anyway? That I’ve been neglecting you? Daniel, I’m not your father. I have responsibilities to many others as well as you. And I have my own life, too. Or is this because I didn’t have either the time or inclination to hear your dream? I told Robert to convey my congratulations, which I trust he did.’ Daniel began to say something but Volta rolled on. ‘Or was that spiteful kick the result of my high-handed presumption in ending your work with Jean and sending him to attend other business? Daniel, your work with Jean, by
his
report, was finished a week ago. Since then, again by his report, you’ve been trying to convince yourself that you’re adept enough to fool him – that is to say, his equal. You’re not. Though having said so, I hasten to add that I think you have the talent and passion to surpass him eventually. The opportunity is there. And have you noticed how opportunity seems to expand as it narrows?’
‘I sure have,’ Daniel said. ‘That’s why I’m quitting AMO.’
‘You’re welcome,’ Volta snapped. ‘Bye.’
Daniel flipped open the .38’s cylinder and ejected the shells into his palm. They were snake-loads. He looked at Volta. ‘Maybe you would have shot me.’ He tossed Volta the gun.
Volta caught it by the butt and in virtually the same motion flipped open the cylinder, magically producing a speed-loader in his other hand, and had the pistol ready to cock again before Daniel could blink twice. ‘I’m a man who draws lines, Daniel. That way I know where my edges are. One of those lines is a refusal to be brutalized for petty reasons, especially youthful petulance. If you were a Zen master, I would be bowing to you. But you’re not. As you’ve no doubt noticed.’
Daniel took a deep breath, and for a moment seemed to be gathering himself for a heated reply. ‘Okay,’ Daniel said. ‘I’m sorry. I apologize.’
‘Accepted and forgotten,’ Volta said. The gun disappeared into his jacket.
Daniel said, ‘It was a bit of all the reasons you mentioned, but the work with Jean especially. You think my work here is done, Jean thinks it’s done, but
I
don’t. Today I was going to try something that may well have worked – I was going to disguise myself as Jean.’
Volta sat down at the makeup table, turning the chair away from the bank of mirrors to face Daniel. ‘That might have proven difficult, since there is no Jean Bluer.’
‘I thought I sensed one.’
‘Possibly you did.’
They were silent a moment and then Daniel said, ‘I need a vacation, a serious rest. A year at least; maybe two.’
‘You quit, remember? I assumed you quit in order to do exactly as you please. Do so.’
‘“Accepted and forgotten?”’ Daniel reminded him. ‘Don’t beat me with my apology.’
‘Your apology was for the kick, not your resignation – for that, no apology is necessary. We couldn’t very well call AMO a voluntary alliance if one wasn’t free to withdraw.’
‘I want to stay. It was an addled act. Jean gone, you here telling me what to do … it was too much at once.’
‘I’m truly glad to hear that, Daniel, because right now we need your help.’
‘
My
help?’
‘I don’t understand why you seem startled,’ Volta said with more than his usual dryness. ‘We haven’t been providing your training without some expectation of return. We consider you what we call a free agent. We assume you will listen to various requests for assistance, though of course you retain the right to refuse, or to suggest alternatives. No more teachers, unless you wish to arrange further study on your own. And remember one of Wild Bill’s better lines: “When the teaching ends, learning begins.”’
‘So what am I
needed
for? To grow dope? Gamble? Crack safes? To disguise myself as an Italian waiter and find out what the Secretary of State discusses with his mistress over the scallopini?’ Daniel’s sarcasm belied his excitement.
‘Nothing so mundane. This is much more in tune with your romantic nature: a jewel theft. An extraordinarily difficult theft, I warn you, but it is an extraordinary jewel. To steal it, you will have to surpass Jean Bluer.’
‘You just finished saying––’ Daniel began, but Volta cut him short.
‘What’s the ultimate disguise, Daniel?’
Daniel considered a moment. ‘Invisibility, I guess.’
‘Exactly.’
‘I’m not quite able to do that yet.’
‘I am,’ Volta said. ‘Or I was at one time.’
‘Actually become invisible, right? Dematerialize? Poof?’
‘
Vanish
is the term I use. And no poof. It’s more like slipping underwater.’
‘You’re telling me you could
vanish
into thin air?’
‘Or thick.’
‘No offense,’ Daniel said, ‘but I’d have to see it. And then I’d still probably have to believe it.’
‘You’ll have to take it on faith. I gave up the practice years ago. It was too dangerous for me. And it might be even more perilous for you.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I think you’d like it.’
‘First I’d have to do it.’
‘Let me assure you, Daniel, if I didn’t think you were capable, I wouldn’t mention it. Do you think I’m unaware what an outlandish claim it is, especially when I’m not prepared to demonstrate? And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I’ve never met another human being who had the power to vanish. I’ve tried to instruct six people before you, without success.’
‘Not even an arm? A finger?’
Volta ignored him. ‘I discovered it by accident. I was near death, adrift on the ocean. A woman on the boat that rescued me claimed her mother, a Jamaican shamaness, had vanished once in her practice and found it such a dangerous and treacherous state of mind that she never tried it again. When a woman accomplished in the spirit arts says a practice is dangerous and treacherous, that should command your attention. This is for real, Daniel, this is for keeps. School’s out.’
Daniel held up a hand. ‘Wait a minute, now. I thought you said you were going to teach me.’
‘I couldn’t call it teaching. That would be an insult to people like Wild Bill. All I’m going to do is share my experience, which might be wholly inapplicable. The best I can do is point at the mountain and hope you find a trail.’
‘How long would it take me to learn?’
Volta shook his head. ‘No idea. None. The other people I’ve tried to teach all gave up within a week.’
‘I suppose it’s arduous and requires great concentration.’
‘Naturally. Immense concentration; pinpoint focus; enormous clarity. It takes everything you have.’
‘Is this jewel worth it?’
Volta said, ‘Properly, that’s for you to decide.’
‘Have you seen it?’
Volta hesitated. ‘Well, I’ve
dreamed
it.’
Daniel shook his head. ‘I’m getting lost. You want me to vanish into your dreams?’
‘Good Lord,
no
,’ Volta blanched. ‘That’s exactly what I
don’t
want you to do.’
‘So, what is it
exactly
you
do
want me to do?’
‘Steal the diamond.’
‘So, it’s a diamond?’
‘Yes, though it’s a bit like saying the ocean is water. The diamond is perfectly spherical, perfectly clear – though it seems to glow – and it’s about two-thirds the size of a bowling ball. I think of it as the Diamond. Capital D.’
‘Who owns it?’
‘No one. The United States government has it at the moment. We want it. And to be honest with you, Daniel,
I
particularly want it, want it dearly. I want to look
at
it,
into
it, hold it in my hands. I had a vision involving a spherical diamond, a vision that changed my life, and I want to confirm that it was a vision of something
real
, the spirit embodied, the circuit complete.’
Daniel was smiling. ‘You’re going to love this. That dream I wanted to talk to you about, my first since the explosion? It just happened to feature a raven with a spherical diamond in its beak. Obviously, it wasn’t as big as a bowling ball, and there was a thin spiral flame running edge to edge through its center, which made it seem more coldly brilliant than warmly glowing, but it sounds like the same basic diamond to me.’
‘And what do you think it is?’
‘I think it’s beautiful.’
Volta gave him a thin smile. ‘If I were more perverse than I already lamentably am, I would say it is the Eye of the Beholder. In fact, I don’t know what it is.’
‘It might be a dream,’ Daniel said.
‘Very possibly,’ Volta agreed, ‘but I don’t think so. I think –
feel
, to be exact – that the Diamond is an interior force given exterior density, the transfigured metaphor of the
prima materia
, the primordial mass, the
Spiritus Mundi
. I’m assuming you’re familiar with the widely held supposition that the entire universe was created from a tiny ball of dense matter which exploded, sending pieces hurtling into space, expanding from the center. The spherical diamond is the memory, the echo, the ghost of that generative cataclysm; the emblematic point of origin. Or if, as some astrophysicists believe, the universe will reach some entropic point in its expansion and begin to collapse back into itself, in that case the Diamond may be a homing point, the seed crystal, to which it will all come hurtling back together – and perhaps through itself, into another dimension entirely. Or it might be the literal Philosopher’s Stone we alchemists speak of so fondly. Or I might be completely wrong. That’s why I want to see it. If I could actually stand in its presence, I’m convinced I’d know what it is. I would even venture to say, at the risk of rabid projection, that it
wants
to be seen and known.’
‘But you’re not even sure it exists,’ Daniel said. ‘Right? And hey, it’s tough to steal something that
doesn’t
exist, even if you can be invisible. The more I think about this the less sense it makes.’
‘Then think about this: Two days ago, Navy divers searching for the wreck of the
Moray
– you might recall it was a nuclear submarine that vanished without a trace in 1972 – found a mysterious object on the ocean floor exactly on the Greenwich Meridian. According to our information, the object appears to be a spherical diamond that “glows” – whatever that means. It has been taken to a government lab for tests and observation. We’re not sure where it is at the moment; there are rumors it’s being moved. That’s what Jean was called away to work on, as well as Smiling Jack and some of our other best people. Including you, I hope.’
‘And you really think I might be able to do it? Actually vanish?’
‘I think you’re the most likely candidate I’ve ever known.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘A number of reasons, but essentially because you
want
to vanish.’
‘I do?’
‘I think so, yes. But what concerns me is that I’m not certain you will want to come back.’
‘Suppose I don’t. Or can’t. What happens to me then?’
‘I don’t know, but I suspect you might truly discover what lost means. Not confused, or disoriented, or displaced. Lost.’
‘Is that a challenge?’
‘It challenged me.’
‘Is that why you quit?’
‘Yes, one could say that.’
‘What did you steal when you were invisible?’