Stormqueen! (30 page)

Allart said, “But she is a fair child - and a healthy one, it seems - and she possesses
laran
. If you have no son, surely you can find somewhere a son-in-law to inherit your estate!”

“I had hoped so,” Aldaran said. “I think now it might even be well to marry her to one of those Ridenow, but
that
would bring down all the Elhalyn and Hastur kindred as well. It must depend, also, on whether your kinswoman can help her to survive the threshold at adolescence. I lost three grown sons and a daughter so. When I sought to wed into a line - such as my late wife, Deonara of Ardais - whose
laran
came early upon them, the children died before birth or in infancy. Dorilys survived birth and infancy, but with her
laran
, I fear she will not survive adolescence.”

“The gods forbid she should die so! My kinswoman and I will do all that we can. There are many ways now of preventing death in adolescence. I myself came near it, yet I live.”

“If that is so,” Aldaran said, “then am I your humble suppliant, kinsman. What I have is yours for the asking. But I beg you, remain and save my child from this fate!”

“I am at your service. Lord Aldaran. My brother has bidden me remain while I can be of use to you, or as long as needful to persuade you to remain neutral in this war.”

“That I promise you,” Aldaran said.

“Then you may command me, Lord Aldaran.” Then Allart’s bitterness broke through. “If you do not hold me too greatly in contempt, that I am not eager to return to the battlefield, since that seems to you the most fitting place for the young men of my clan!”

Aldaran bent his head. “I spoke in anger. Forgive me, kinsman. But I have no will to join this stupid war in the Lowlands, even though I feel the Hasturs should test the Ridenow before they admit them into their kindred. If the Ridenow cannot survive, perhaps they do not truly deserve to come into the line of Serrais. Perhaps the gods know what they are doing when they send wars among men, so that old lines of blood, softened by luxury and decadence, may die out, and new ones prevail, or come into them; new genetic material with traits tested by their ability to survive.”

Allart shook his head. “This may have been true in the older days,” he said, “when war was truly a test of strength and courage, so that the weaker did not survive to breed. I cannot believe it is so
now
, my lord, when such things as
clingfire
kill the strong and the weak alike, even women and little children who have no part in the quarrels of the lords…”

“
Clingfire
!” Lord Aldaran whispered. “Is it so, then - that they have begun to use
clingfire
in the Domains? But surely they can use it but little; the raw material is hard to mine from the earth and deteriorates so rapidly once it is exposed to the air.”

“It is made by matrix circles in the Towers, my lord. This is one reason I was eager to leave the area of this war. I would not be sent cleanly into battle, but would be put to make the hellish stuff.” Aldaran closed his eyes as if to shut out the unbearable.

“Are they all madmen, then, below the Kadarin? I had thought sheer sanity would deter them from weapons which must ravage conquerer and conquered alike! I find it hard to believe in any man of honor loosing such terrible weapons against his kin,” Aldaran said. “Remain here, Allart. All the gods forbid I should send any man back into such dishonorable warfare!” His face twisted. “Perhaps, if the gods are kind, they will exterminate one another, like the dragons of legend who consumed one another in their fire, leaving their prey to build on the scorched ground beneath them.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Renata, head lowered, hurried across the courtyard at Aldaran. In her preoccupation, she ran hard into someone, murmured an apology, and would have hurried on, but felt herself caught and held.

“Wait a moment, kinswoman! I have hardly seen you since I came here,” Allart said.

Renata, raising her eyes, said, “Are you making ready to return to the Lowlands, cousin?”

“No, my lord of Aldaran has invited me to remain, to teach Donal something of what I learned at Nevarsin,” Allart said. Then, looking full into her face, he drew a breath of consternation. “Cousin, what troubles you? What is so dreadful?”

Confused, Renata looked at him, saying, “Why, I do not know.” Then, dropping into full rapport with his thoughts, she saw herself as she looked in his eyes - drawn, pale, her face twisted with grief and tragedy.

Is this what I am, or what I shall be
? In sudden fear, she clung for a moment to him, and he steadied her, gently.

“Forgive me, cousin, that I frightened you. Indeed, I am beginning to feel that much of what I see exists only in my own fear. Surely there is nothing so frightful here, is there? Or is the
damisela
Dorilys such a little monster as the servants say?”

Renata laughed, but she still looked troubled. “No, indeed; she is the dearest, sweetest child, and as yet she has shown me only her most biddable and loving face. But - Oh, Allart, it is true! I am frightened for her; she bears a truly dreadful
laran
, and I am afraid for what I must say to the lord Aldaran, her father! It cannot but make him angry!”

“I have seen her only for a few minutes,” Allart said. “Donal was showing me how he controls the glider-toys, and she came down and begged to fly with us; but Donal said she must ask Margali, that he would not take the responsibility of letting her come. She was very cross, and went off in a great sulk.”

“But she did not strike at him?”

“No,” said Allart. “She pouted and said he did not love her, but she obeyed him. I would not want to let her fly until she could control a matrix, but Donal said he was given one when he was nine, and learned to use it without trouble. Evidently
laran
comes early on the Delleray kindred.”

“Or on those of Rockraven,” Renata said, but she still looked troubled. “I would not want to trust Dorilys with a matrix yet; perhaps never. But we will speak of that later. Lord Aldaran has agreed to receive me, and I must not keep him waiting.”

“Indeed you must not,” Allart said, and Renata went across the courtyard, frowning.

Outside the presence-chamber of the lord Aldaran, she found Dorilys. The little girl looked more controlled and civilized today, her hair neatly plaited, her dress an embroidered smock.

“I want to hear what you say to my father about me, cousin,” she said, sliding her hand confidingly into Renata’s.

Renata shook her head. “It is not good for little girls to listen to the councils of their elders,” she said. “I must say many things which you would not understand. I give you my word that everything concerning you will be told to you when the proper time comes, but that proper time is not now, Dorilys.”

“I am not a little girl,” Dorilys said, thrusting her lip out.

“Then you should not behave like one, pouting and stamping your foot as if you were five years old! Certainly such behavior will not convince me that you are old enough to listen with maturity to talk about your future.”

Dorilys looked more rebellious than ever. “Who do you think you are, to talk that way to me? I am Lady of Aldaran!”

“You are a child who will one day be Lady of Aldaran,” Renata said coldly, “and I am the
leronis
whom your father saw fit to entrust with the task of teaching you proper behavior befitting that high place.”

Dorilys pulled her hand free of Renata’s, staring sulkily at the floor. “I will not be spoken to in that way! I will complain of you to my father, and he will send you away if you are not kind to me!”

“You do not know the meaning of the word unkindness,” Renata said mildly. “When I entered the Tower of Hali as a novice to learn the art of monitor, no one was allowed to speak to me for forty days, nor to look into my eyes. This was to strengthen my reliance upon my
laran
.”

“I wouldn’t have put up with it,” Dorilys said, and Renata smiled.

“Then they would have sent me home, knowing I did not have the strength and self-discipline to learn what I must learn. I will never be unkind to you, Dorilys, but you must master yourself before you are fit to command others.”

“But it is different with me,” Dorilys argued. “I am Lady of Aldaran, and already I command all the women in the castle, and most of the men, too. You are not the Lady of your Domain, are you?”

Rehata shook her head. “No, but I am a Tower monitor. And even a Keeper is taught so. You have met your brother’s friend, Allart. He is Regent of Elhalyn, yet at Nevarsin, for his training, he slept naked on stone for three winters, and never spoke in the presence of any monk superior to him.”

“That’s
horrible
,” Dorilys said, making a face.

“No. We undertake these disciplines voluntarily, because we know we need to discipline our bodies and minds to obey us, so that our
laran
will not destroy us.”

“If I obey you,” Dorilys asked craftily, “will you give me a matrix and teach me to use it, so that I can fly with Donal?”

“I will when I think you can be trusted with it,
chiya
.“Renata said.

“But I want it
now
,” Dorilys argued.

Renata shook her head. “No,” she said. “Now go back to your rooms, Dorilys, and I will see you when I have finished with your father.” She spoke firmly, and Dorilys started to obey; then, after a few steps, she whirled around, stamping her foot angrily.

“You will not use command-voice on me again!”

“I will do what I think fit,” said Renata, unmoved. “Your father has put me in charge of you. Must I tell him I find you disobedient, and ask him to command you to obey me in all things?”

Dorilys shrank. “No, please - don’t tell Father on me, Renata!”

“Then obey me at once,” Renata repeated, using the forbidden command-voice. “Go back and tell Margali you have been disobedient, and ask her to punish you.”

Dorilys’s eyes filled with tears, but she moved away, lagging, out of the courtyard, and Renata let her breath go.

How would I have forced her to obey if she had refused? And a time will come when she will refuse, and I must be prepared for that
!

One of the servants was staring, wide-eyed, having observed the little interchange. Renata picked up the woman’s thoughts without trying:
I have never seen my little lady obey like that
…
without a word of protest
!

So it was the first time Dorilys had to obey against her will, Renata thought. Margali, she knew, would punish Dorilys gently, only by setting her to sew long and uninteresting seams on skirts and shifts, and forbidding her to touch her embroidery-frames.
It will not hurt our little lady to learn to do tasks for which she has no liking or talent
.

But the confrontation had hardened her will for what she knew would be a difficult meeting with Lord Aldaran. She was grateful that he had agreed to receive her in the small study where he wrote his letters and saw the
coridom
about the business of his estates, rather than in the formal presence-chamber.

She found him dictating to his private secretary, but he broke off when she came in, and sent the man away. “Well,
damisela
, how are you getting along with my daughter? Do you find her obedient and biddable? She is headstrong, but very sweet and loving.”

Renata smiled faintly. “She is not very loving at this moment, I fear,” she said. “I have had to punish her, to send her to Margali to sit over her sewing for a while, and learn to think before she speaks.”

Lord Aldaran sighed. “I suppose no child can be brought up without some punishment,” he said. “I gave Donal’s tutors leave to beat him, if they must, but I was gentler with him than my father with me, for I forbade his tutors to strike him hard enough to leave bruises; while as a boy I often was beaten so that I could not sit in comfort for days. But you will not need to beat my daughter, I hope.”