Straight from the Heart (11 page)

 Cale looked best in the morning.
I
can’t believe I actually admitted that
! The way his hair stood
in all directions, his plaid pajama pants hanging loose on his hips
and completely shirtless. I’d seen him without a shirt dozens of
times by that point, but for some reason I paid more attention to
the tattoo I saw at my audition. Along with the music notes that
were displayed on his side, trickling down past where his pants
began. Feeling like a pool of jelly at that moment, I had to think
of something distracting before I went crazy.
Maybe I could call
Gina. Yeah, I’ll do that.

Cale went back to his country music and deep
cleaning while I dialed her number. I was probably waking her up,
but I wanted a distraction from Cale and his perfectly muscled
body.

By the third ring Gina answered “Hello?”

“Heyyy best friend, did I wake you?”

“No of course not. Bethy and I have a
modeling gig in a little bit so I just got done taking a shower.”
Gina said in her bubbly voice. It immediately put me at ease
hearing a voice from home. “So how is the road? I watched you on
YouTube the other day.” I was ready for someone to tell me that. It
was bound to happen. I had been so worried about what people were
going to say about me; if I was too fat for the stage? If I was too
young to play with the other members?

“Alright, tell me how crappy I am, Gina.
 I play like shit don’t I?” I asked honestly. She giggled and
I heard Bethany yell in the background about losing her car
keys.

“I have no words, B. Beth and I never knew
you could play like that! And what’s the lead singer’s name
again?”

“Cale,” I answered.

“Holy moly, Cale is smokinggg hot, Bryn. Not
lying, but I mean that guy with the red hair too isn’t too
shabby.”

“Luke, the red haired guy is Luke.” I
whispered, so no one else could hear me.

“Yeah him. When you guys
finally
come
our way, I want to meet them. Bethany says she wants to too.” I
smiled, thinking those girls were absolutely crazy, but I loved
them to death.

“I know, I know.” I assured her. “I’ll make
sure you have front row
and
backstage passes, okay?”

“Eeek!” Gina squealed. I heard her tell
Bethany about what I just said. Then there was the double squeak.
Where were my ear plugs when I needed them? “Oh now I can’t wait.
We better go before we’re late.”

“Alright, love you girls!”

We were headed to St. Louis. According to
Raptor, we were already halfway there. He had family down there,
and was giving me a brief history of the city. The only thing I
knew about St. Louis was the giant arch.

In the middle of eating my peanut butter
sandwich, I put my headphones in. That was when Cale sat down
beside me, startling me. I didn’t see him at first since I was
fully engrossed in the music I was listening to, but he pulled out
my right ear bud, and positioned it in his ear. ‘Whisky Hangover’
by Godsmack was blaring at full volume and I pressed pause.

“Next time pat me on the back or nudge me,”
I teased. “I wasn’t even paying attention.”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, just
watching me intently, like he was studying me. I nudged his
shoulder and he snapped out of it. “Sorry, B. I, I’m sorry, I
completely forgot what I was going to say.”

“Don’t worry, everyone’s tired. Thank God
for the couple of days coming up. I think everyone can use the
break away from each other.” I said truthfully. We had a break
before our show in San Francisco in another week and I was looking
forward to it. I needed some girl time with my best friends. In the
past ten years we’d been friends this had been the longest we had
been away from each other. Gina and Bethany had seen me at my best
times and my worst moments. They were with me after the big fight
between Ethan and I went down.

“Oh you’re ready to get away from us
already, huh?” He asked playfully, and I shook my head.

“You are so cocky, Cale. I’ll probably end
up hanging out with Rap, Vince and Luke somewhere. You, on the
other hand, only think about yourself and always find a way to be
by my side.” He put a hand to his heart like I offended him.

“Awww see she loves us better, Pelton.”
Raptor bellowed, sliding in beside me and putting an arm around me.
He still smelled like yesterday’s alcohol, but I loved his humor.
He was the guy to lift our spirits up when one of us was having a
rough day. “Isn’t that right, Bryn?”

I winked at Cale and his face turned sour.
“Oh that is so right.”

“
But I really don’t want to go tonight
babe, these girls despise me.” I pleaded with Ethan, as we drove in
his Cadillac towards some end of the year party at his friend
Lincoln’s house. It wasn’t that far from my house, but from what
Ethan was telling me, it was in the ritziest neighborhood next to
ours. I hated the sound of it already.

He put his fingers on my thigh, making
circles on my skin. “Don’t worry, hun. They’re just jealous bitches
who wish they were in that seat right now next to me. YOU are mine
and I love you.” Love. We had said that word countless times
throughout our relationship, but never taking it to the next level.
Part of it was I really had in my mind I wanted to wait until I was
18, which I just turned, but something in my gut told me to
wait.

“
I love you too,” I whispered, looking
out the window, watching the street turn from rocky and bumpy to
pavement as we arrived in the gated community where the party was
at. I had been in this area before when Ethan and I hung out at his
Cousin Tyler’s house. I only met Tyler once and he was the complete
opposite of what I expected. His parents gave him half of the house
for his own pleasure, and it was pure rock n’ roll. He had a
collection of guitars, bass guitars, even a drum set and a piano in
his “studio”.

Lincoln’s house was at the end of the drive.
The driveway was over a mile long, with various trees surrounding
the black pavement. I’ve seen my fair share of 3 story houses, but
this was the largest house I had ever seen. It easily doubled the
size of my parents, stretching across dozens of acres of land.
Lines of fancy $100,000 cars lined the driveway as we found a small
spot between two BMW’s.

I had a bad feeling about tonight. 

I squeezed my hands together, trying to find
a way to calm my nerves. But then Ethan opened the passenger side
door and led me out like a gentlemen. The way he was being so nice,
this night would have been going smooth…right?

Wrong.

First hour in, I felt queasy. I had almost 4
cups of Captain Morgan and Coke, which was a disaster in the
making. Ethan had been glued to my side the whole time except for a
few minutes to see his friends. His hand was either on the small of
my back or on my ass, rubbing his fingers in a circular motion like
he did in the car. But this time it was more forceful, like he was
purposely trying to turn me on.

“
Why don’t we go upstairs and have some
fun?” Ethan whispered in my ear. I could feel the alcohol spreading
through my body as his breath lingered from my ear to my neck. I
turned my head to the side, allowing him full access. Was this how
I really pictured my first time? Drunk in Ethan’s friend’s house? I
wasn’t sure if that was what he even wanted, but I let him lead the
way through the crowded kitchen and up the spiraled staircase to
the second floor, where there were easily a half dozen bedrooms. My
bad feeling about the night went away as he gripped my hand
tighter, almost running now. I couldn’t control my giggles as I
wiped strands of hair out of my face trying to see where we were
going.

The bedroom we ended up in was painted
neutral colors, beige and brown. Ethan sat down on the brown satin
bedspread and took off his DC’s. He gestured for me to sit next to
him and when I did he swiftly pulled me into his lap. I could feel
the bulge in his pants poking at my rear as I shifted to a
comfortable spot, putting my arms around his neck.

“
Mmmm it was way too crazy down there.”
He growled, leaving a trail of kisses down my neck to my shoulder
blade. “I’m…so glad we’re….alone…” I was too caught in the moment
to realize that he lifted me up now, still kissing me, only
stopping to throw me onto the bed. I landed on my back, in another
complete fit of giggles. I tried to wriggle out from under Ethan,
who was now on top of me.

“
What are you doing?” I asked him, a
complete smile plastered on my face. Our faces were just about
touching, resisting the urge to kiss each other.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I looked
directly into his eyes and went in for the kill. I kissed him with
every ounce of drunken passion that I had. He welcomed my lips on
his, sliding his tongue into my mouth, his hands resting in my
hair.

We kissed for what seemed like eternity,
when I felt rebellious and lifted my lacy tank top over my head,
revealing a barely there pink bra I had put on just to be prepared
for a night like this. Ethan’s eyes raked over my body like I was a
piece of meat he was ready to devour.

Pretty soon all of our clothes were off. I
looked down at the floor where our pile of clothes had formed,
contemplating if this was what I really wanted. In my drunk mind I
was thinking hell yes, this was my rich, gorgeous boyfriend, who is
completely naked and ready to take my virginity from me. But for a
minute, I snapped out of that idea, my body stilling as Ethan
leaned over the bed to grab a condom, and I freaked out. Like
literally. It was like I didn’t know I was without clothes because
when I felt a draft of cold air come through the window I looked
down and immediately tried to get off the bed.

“
How did I end up here?” I demanded,
leaving Ethan stunned and surprised.

“
What the hell are you talking about,
Bryn? You were the one that followed me up here and was begging for
it!” He yelled. “I thought we were ready for this, ever since I met
you I’ve wanted to do this.” He ran his hand along the curve of my
spine, sending shivers through my body.

“
We’re drunk Ethan. Please. I’m not
thinking clearly.” I told him, my words still sounding fuzzy.
“Let’s just go back downstairs and let the alcohol pass so we can
leave…”

He kissed the side of my mouth. “We don’t
have to leave. Your mother and father know you’re with me. Not
here, obviously, I had to tell a little fib.”

That was the surprise of the century. My
parents loved Ethan, solely for the fact that he was from money,
and that his parents had some sort of hold on them. They loved him,
but also had a strict hold on me, never letting me leave unless I
was with our driver or with Ethan before a specific time.

“
Still, I want to go Ethan, please,” I
pleaded. I could tell he was clearly pissed, as he slid off the
bed, and punched his fist into the door. I hurried up and grabbed
my clothes that were a mess on the floor. “Please don’t act like
that. I want to wait, to make it special.”

“
Special? Yeah. Talk about just too damn
weak and scared,” he spat. “You realize how many girls down there
would’ve been straddling me by now, moaning my name? And I’m
wasting my time with you?” I could feel hot tears coming down my
cheek. I had to tell myself ‘He’s just drunk, he’s just drunk,’ but
so was I. I just made a complete idiot of myself all because I
didn’t want to lose my virginity like this. Ethan could tell I was
upset, running to my side and wrapping his arms around me tightly.
“I’m sorry babe. You know how I get when I’m like this. I just
wanted to make you feel good.”

I believed him. Every last word.

“Bryn, you okay?” Vince snapped me out of my
day dream. I shook my head, trying to forget the bad memory. That
wasn’t even the worst part of that night, not even close. I glanced
at the guys’ faces and they seemed more than concerned. “You’re all
sweaty and look like you’re going to cry.”

“I’m good,” I assured them. “Just lost in
thought.” They probably didn’t buy it, but it’d do for now. As we
arrived in St. Louis, I peeked out the small window that was next
to me. Hal was driving us past the arch, and I got a view of the
Mississippi river in its glory. Plugging my headphones back in, I
could feel a body climb into bed next to me.

“You seem upset, Bryn.” Cale said softly,
hands to himself, as my body was facing the wall. “Are you sure
everything is okay?”

I paused my music, and turned to face him.
“It’s fine, Cale.”

He wasn’t giving up that easily. “Bryn
Schaefler, I can read your face pretty damn well. You’re not
‘fine,’” Cale air quoted and I shifted onto my other side so my
body faced his direction. He barely fit on my bunk as it was, so I
was trying not to laugh as he held onto the railing so he didn’t
fall. “I grew up with all girls in the house, remember? I’ve seen
more breakups with boyfriends than I can count. I always knew when
one of them was pining or upset over the latest guy. My mom tried
to help them, but usually she gave up and left me to snap them out
of their misery.”

“Not that I don’t mind hearing about your
family, but what is the point of this story?” I asked out of
curiosity.

“I’m
saying
that I could tell that
you were upset, or whatever it is you were, about a guy.” Cale
smirked, clearly amused. “What ever happened between you and, what
was his name?”

“Ethan,” I reminded him. “And what happened
between us is none of your business Cale. We weren’t anything
special.”

“Obviously he is if you’ve been having these
day-dream nightmare things lately.”

“So what? I don’t ask you about what
happened between you and Lucy.”

“
That
is different.” Cale said. “It
was….complicated.”